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Thread: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring ????

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    Default Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring ????

    Before I start, I want to quickly clarify the kind of customer I am before people start assuming anything else.

    I'm 31 years old Asian-American, 155 lb 5'10" slender build. I grew up with 2 older sisters and my mom for the first half of my life. My dad was overseas. So I have a lot of respect for women. Also, I always shower and brush my teeth when I go. I've never been to a strip club (God honest truth) until my first time a month ago and I wanted to try it out before my bachelor party. I've got an excellent career in engineering, bought my own home, live with my fiance of 6 years, and have some extra money to spend. I'm not looking for anything serious. I just enjoy the company and the conversation yet, I love the ability that there is no strings attached and it's really truly like an "escape".

    So fast forward, I started going to a place in City of Industry, CA (lots of strip clubs here) because I saw billboards driving on the 60 freeway in southern california. After reading reviews, I went to Deja Vu which is now my most favorite place. It was now my 4th time there. A lot of dancers asks me to dance and when we go for a topless/nude dance for $20/40 I just sit there in the private booth and keep my hands to myself. After 30 seconds, a lot of girls say I'm too shy, or they'll say "Are you bored?". I even had one girl told me "Wait, are you a virgin???".. I was like "what? no!" One girl also told me I looked 19 !!

    Also, I went into VIP twice only in total. The first time, I spent the entire 30 minutes talking with this girl about the industry in general. She was real nice and gave me all the low down. The second time in VIP was just last week. A hot Irish/Hispanic girl took me in there. We just had a cheap lap dance and then I suggested maybe we go in the VIP later.

    While in the VIP, her name, we'll just say Irene, starts dancing. This time we're in a much bigger couch. She then starts twirling on me on my lap, and then I'm just sitting there, keeping my hands to myself, and just zoning out. She turns around, and then says "Are you bored?" ... "Do you just wanna talk?". I said, "no why? I'm enjoying this..." then she keeps going but I guess I"m not sure what she wanted me to do. I asked her "What do you want me to do?". She shrugged. We had ok conversation in the previous lap dance but I'm not sure what she was insinuating. Then 10 minutes in, she said "oh you 're so boring...o r maybe its me... i think i need to pee" so she goes out to pee for 5 minutes and the "counter machine" is counting down and I see my money just draining ...lol. I'm not mad.

    Anyhow, she comes back again and then apologizes and of course has her entire bottom up in my face exposed. I asked her "are you trying to tease me?" she said "maybe.." . At that point, I didn't want to anything physical. But please, can someone explain to me... is the expectation that when a man asks a girl to go into VIP with him, that the dancer is going to think that the man wants "extras" or perhaps wants to get even more physical? like a rub? I asked her like "I'm scared a bit because I don't know the boundaries..." and I truly am because I seriously don't want to get slapped by any of you dancers. Then she told me "You can go farther (touch farther) if you tip $20" (in teh VIP). I wasn't really interested. She was a bit upset and then she told me she owed the house $160.00 because she failed to show up on schedule and said this dance is basically free. i was like thinking to myself, you're making me feel bad now, because I don't want you to work so hard for it now.

    This club seems to be quite hands-on. Even for $20/40 lap dances. I've already had 3-4 girls on three separate occasions and they also told me "oh its okay, you can touch them (boobs)" and then I would put my hands on it, but not even squeeze it , then they ask me "is this my first time?" .. then I would say "it's my 2nd or 3rd time in here" but I'm not super touchy touchy. Then they told me to "relax" but I said... I am, i'm sitting here.. plopped on the booth, what else do I do??

    I feel like I don't know how to "play" if that makes any sense or I'm not entertaining these girls back. Albeit, there are occasionally a few girls who don't say anything, just simply gives me a dance, asks me if I want another, and then leaves. Then there are others, which put in a good effort, and I would get hurt because they're heavier(thicker) and their weight crushes my thighs as they do some cool manuevers. Then they'll say "Oh sorry".

    I guess what I really, envy the most is when I see like 3-4 girls sitting next to ONE guy at a table and it's 4PM in the afternoon, the club is dead. But the 3-4 girls aren't even talking to the guy. Maybe just 1 girl next to him. What gives? How come I can't get those girls to come sit next to me out on the floor? I'll gladly pay them for their time. What do I say to them or get them to sit next to me? I see that the guy is of middle age (50s) Caucasion and is certainly a regular. But the hell, I didn't even see him taking dances. He just sits there, drinks his soda or whatever. The club is only serving non-alcohol. Oh, the club doesn't really have any "floor dances" like what i hear in Spermint Rhino in las vegas. At the worst, is just a girl will sit on a guy's lap, go up and down a little, and strike a conservation, but there is never any mini-dance on the floor.

    Thank you ladies. Sorry, I'm a shy asian n00b and is just starting to learn the ropes. When I first went, it felt so wierd and I felt so creepy, even for the guys at the front sitting on "pervert row" as you call it. But now I realize that, you girls depend on those tips and those tips on the floor enable the dances. I like going in the afternoon because there's less guys and more girls but I also feel so bad for you girls because I see guys sitting closest to the stage and no one's tipping. But I usually like to sit in the back of the room cuz i'm really shy.


    I also want to say, I felt so bad because there was two times when I was rejected in a strip club by 2 different girls when I asked 'em for a dance. One of them was standing there and we locked eyes multiple times. She knew I was looking but she didn't approach. I finally approached and she told me "oh i'm waiting for my manager and it's the end of my shift already". That's fine. The second time was another girl, every single freaking time, she would finish her dance on stage, then immedately sit down at the booth behind her. Playing with her cell phone. It was particlarly more people that night, so I grew some balls to ask her for a dance. She non-chalantantly told me something like "oh I can't, I'm need to...something something". I didn't even remember or care to listen after that. Since then, the 3 times I was there, I realized that she never would approach me, even when the club was dead! And it was only 10-12 guys and like 8 girls that afternoon . So what's up with that? Then on the 4th day, I see her approach other guys sitting down but never me. Afterwards, I told myself I guess she doesn't like Asians.

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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    Your post is quite long babe. 2 short paragraphs max is usually great.

    Just be upfront w the sort of VIP you want. Industry chit chat and some dancing. Quiet guy no contact. You like to zone out as you enjoy.

    Sorted. If the girl walks ask the next one you like. Nothings personal and who knows if the dancer even remembered you.

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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    Try smiling. Give a girl a wink.

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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    Do you buy just the dances without tipping them? If you tip more, they won't think your boring. You tip more, they will flock to you when you walk in.





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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    for the type of customer you sound like you are just in the wrong city. Starting your clubbing experience in COI for someone who isn't looking for extras is like a baseball player going straight to the majors that doesn't want to see a curveball. Honestly most of the girls at the COI clubs expect the customers to want more than what you seem to be comfortable with. That said, if you are moe comfortable sitting and talking just tell the girl that's what you want and work out a price that works for you both. My first suggestion though would be to try a different club in a different city. Imperial Showgirls in Anaheim is probably more your speed and you'd have a better time.

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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    Your job is not to entertain them, generally enough $$ will do that.
    As far as being told to relax... if this is a higher contact club, it can be off-putting to not be touched... While I LOVE a customer who expects no touching at all, I'm used to being groped at all day, when someone doesn't attempt to, I start thinking they're either a) not enjoying themselves, and I want them to so they buy more, or b) that they're an undercover cop.

    Girl #1 may have actually been done with her shift and sorry, but when we are done with our shifts ain't nothing gonna make us go back on the floor. Girl #2 sounds like one of those that just sits on her phone all day and only approaches guys she wants to actually hang out with... she's not truly there for the money.

    The "middle aged Caucasians with flocks of strippers" ... well, we have a few varieties at my club. One does go to VIP and always tips well, BUT you have to invest lots of time into him up front, so to others it may appear that I am wasting half an hour chatting, when really I know you have to do that with him. Maybe you are not seeing this guy eventually go to the dance room. There's others that buy girls drinks, so the alcoholics hang out with them, and there's others that in my opinion are useless club furniture, but they are semi-decent to talk to, so girls will sit with them because they want to appear busy. Could be any of those things.

    VIP 'expectations'... no I don't immediately assume a guy wants extras. I assume that he wants to get off the main floor and be somewhere a bit quieter, darker, and with less people around. It is legitimately more 'intimate', that's not just a sales buzzword. A lot of dudes are just shy and don't like their dances ogled by other dudes.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    Quote Originally Posted by kyleyu View Post
    I guess what I really, envy the most is when I see like 3-4 girls sitting next to ONE guy at a table and it's 4PM in the afternoon, the club is dead. But the 3-4 girls aren't even talking to the guy. Maybe just 1 girl next to him. What gives? How come I can't get those girls to come sit next to me out on the floor? I'll gladly pay them for their time. What do I say to them or get them to sit next to me? I see that the guy is of middle age (50s) Caucasion and is certainly a regular. But the hell, I didn't even see him taking dances. He just sits there, drinks his soda or whatever. The club is only serving non-alcohol. Oh, the club doesn't really have any "floor dances" like what i hear in Spermint Rhino in las vegas. At the worst, is just a girl will sit on a guy's lap, go up and down a little, and strike a conservation, but there is never any mini-dance on the floor.
    When you see 3-4 girls hanging out with a guy it could be because he´s an owner or a friend of one of the owners. More likely he´s a guy just like you but who´s had more time at the club and is a bit less shy. You need to remember that the girls in the club want you to be happy. If they can´t tell that you´re having a good time, they would rather you find someone that you´ll enjoy more. You need to be much more clear about what you´re looking for.

    If you´re only looking for conversation and watching the girls, you need to tell them. I´ve had this problem as well since most guys are looking for something different in the club. It´s very easy to fix. Find a girl you like and ask her to stay and talk to you. Let her know you´ll pay her for her time and give her some up front to know you´re serious. Reading your post it seems you´re not looking to interact very much. Let her know that you want to relax and she´ll need to "pull you out of your shell". Once you find a girl that "gets" what you´re looking for give her a tip to explain it to the others in the club if that´s easier for you.

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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    You sound like one of my target demographics, but funnily enough I notice that no other dancers tend to approach the younger Asian men that I flock to. I haven't been able to pinpoint exactly what it is though. In some cases, I think dancers have had enough negative experience with older Asian men that they just avoid all Asians altogether. In other cases, many dancers just don't think younger men are worth approaching, so they avoid them entirely too. Still, neither of those are a real reason to turn someone down who is approaching YOU when you're trying to make money, so let's just say that bitches be cray sometimes.

    As for your interactions during dances/VIP… I think BH might be on to something about you being in the wrong city for the type of customer you are. Many dancers who work in high contact areas don't actually know how to entertain a customer beyond T&A, so when he's not reacting to that, they think they're doing something wrong. So, they will try and push you on more contact since that's all they know as making them money. I work in a pretty high contact area myself and it is always a bit of a surprise to have someone prefer to chat or cuddle, but that doesn't mean there aren't dancers who can't adjust their dances accordingly.

    My advice for you would be to either try out a different club (I'm honestly not sure why the Deja Vu is your favourite when it sounds like you've had pretty mediocre experiences there). When you get there, sit for a bit with a drink and see if anyone approaches. If not, tip anyone who looks interesting when she's on stage. You don't have to sit in pervert's row -- actually, it'll likely be more effective if you get up from your spot in the back to tip and then return -- but that's generally a surefire way of getting attention after her stage set, especially if you ask her to come over when she's done. If that still doesn't work, I mean, you could try and approach yourself or ask the waitress to bring over a particular dancer, but you've seen what happens when you get dances from someone you don't mesh just right with, so it's a toss up if it'll be a good experience or not.

    Once you DO find a dancer you like (because it will happen!), I encourage you to find out her schedule and visit her on your strip club excursions. You sound like the type who would enjoy the regular relationship, since it tends to lead to time spent hanging out on the floor and a more personal experience in the back since the dancer gets to know what you like.

    Good luck and happy strip clubbing!

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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    As much as a lapdance is entertainment, it is also interactive. Most dancers want some sort of feedback, not feel like they are dancing for a sack of potatoes, something I have learned in my brief time so far as a regular club goer. What that feedback is will vary from dancer to dancer. Some will want to have a small talk conversation while they are dancing, for some a nod, smile and a wink is enough, others like a banter with mild innuendos. Follow your dancers lead as far as you are comfortable with. While this their job, that doesn't mean they don't want to have some clean fun while working. Don't be afraid to look at a dancers body while she is dancing, she is selling a fantasy, part of that sales pitch includes her awesome body. My first experience in a high contact club was just a bewildering as yours. I was expecting McGilla Gorilla to come out and twist me into a pretzel right after the girl put my hand on her boob. So don't feel alone there.

    For me to figure this interaction thing out was a learning curve. It took me quite a few visits, and getting dances from the a few of the same girls. One of the things I learned here, was that you can just chat with a dancer if that is all you want to do, just make sure you tip them for their time as others have already said. Communicate with the dancer, let her know what you want, even if she has danced for you before you may want something different this time.

    Bottom line is enjoy yourself at the club the way you see fit, don't think you need to be/act a certain way. Just make sure you respect the dancers, and be sure to tip.

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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    Thank you everyone for your responses. I have read them all in its entirety.

    My responses to each of your responses are:

    1. I think I tip generously although I could be wrong. I tip $5 for each $20/40 topless/nude dance. I tip $20.00 in the VIP. VIP is $150/30 mins but I like to go during blue light special which becomes $100/30 minutes. But one girl at City of Industry/Deja Vu made me feel bad. After our $20 dance, I said "maybe we can try VIP later?" (This is the girl that later told me I was boring in there). She told me "Why? Let's go VIP now". I said "Well, maybe later in a few minutes". Then she goes "You want to pay $100 huh?"(referring to the blue light special that is about to come on in 5 minutes.). Umm, I should have responded to her "Well, I want to pay the house less so I can tip you more!".

    2. Yeah, I was really surprised that City of Industry clubs was quite high mileage for a club based in California. Here's why I like it:
    a. I'm allergic to alcohol, so no alcohol is great for me.
    b. It's one of the only clubs that has the stage centered to the whole room.
    c. Never too crowded - always enough seats for guys, even on Saturday nights.
    d. Great mix of nationalties including mixed races, caucasions, asians, hispanics, african americans, and interracial mix of all those.
    e. I love the machines that collect the money and time your lap dance. All dances, including VIP are computer controlled. So when the blue light goes on, the system knows to discount the dance. I feel like that's very fair to not only me but the dancers as well. I have heard that some dancers, will screw the house by not paying the machine if you directly pay her.
    f. Drinks are free (just pay tips) and admission is usually free except on high traffic nights where its $20 or $10 with coupon. The waitresses treated me well and gave me passes as well.

    3. On the floor, I didn't tip too much. Because I didn't see a girl I liked on stage. Also, because for the first 3 times I was there, out of the 4 times total, I felt very nervous and creepy to go up there like a sex offender. But there were several times when I was there, of the 4 times, especially in the afternoon that almost all the guys never tipped the stage. So the dancers never ended up stripping down to their bare bones. Many just stepped off stage prematurely. I felt bad for the girls then too. Then they just sat at their corners 50 feet away from us.

    So my mistake, I should go up to them and drop several dollar bills. I get it now.

    4. salzsieder67 - i think you nailed it. I think the problem with me is when I go into a lap dance booth or VIP, I just sit down like a sack of potatoes. I'm really shy to put my hands and start groping these ladies. I'm the chill kind of guy that wants to sit back and relax and enjoy the show, up front, but I also want that conversation.

    Thank you for your responses. After all your input, I think that my money/time is probably best spent out on the floor and just throwing down dollar-dollar bills and then ask the girl to sit with me for a certain price.


    The problem is, I don't know how to negotiate a proper price on the floor. At this club, there's not a lot of girls taking guys to VIPs. This isn't like Vegas as I heard. Most guys here (especially at night time) are younger crowd and they all tend to wait till blue light specials and pay the 3 song for $20 instead of the 2 song for $20.

    5. Can someone please help me estimate and let me know if my offer would be unreasonable based on my math below? This offer is asking a girl I like to sit next to me for 1 hour ::

    I assume a girl on a slow/normal afternoon can do about 3-4 $20 dances per hour from my observations. So that's $20x4 = $80. Let's throw in an extra $40 nude dance. That's $120.00. But minus house fees which is 1/3, that leaves her with $80.00. If I offer her $80.00 to sit next to me for 1 hour to talk/chat and sit on my lap, does that seem offensive? But here's the thing, The girl might get tips from each of those dances.

    6. Also, when it's REALLY slow. I noticed some girls disappear. Are they hanging around in the dressing room or something? But then I see them come back an hour later. I'm positive nobody bought VIPs from them because there were only a handful of guys in there at 4PM that time.

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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    BobbleHead - actually I did go to Imperial Showgirls in Anaheim. It was on a Thursday 6pm afternoon. I had to pay $11.00 entry which was fine but the place was dead. My experience was worse! Here's how bad it was. It was so bad, that I got up and left after 45 minutes to go to Deja Vu.

    What happened was, I got a free bottle soda. Sat down. There were initially about 3-4 guys there. I was the 5th. There was nobody dancing and there was too long of a time gap between each dancer. I mean, the DJ was apologizing profusely, we sat there for literally 10-15 minutes of no girls on the floor or stage. Finally, a bunch of hot dancers can be seen walking around but they were preoccupied running back and forth doing something I don't know. And the Caucasion dancers I saw (a group of 3 of them) again, to my dismay, were crowding around this one dude there. Actually, I take it back. That dude, wasn't even a dude. It was a female dressed like a tom boy male. I guess they must know her.

    I really didn't like the layout of Imperial Showgirls and so I left and vowed to never return. But maybe this is the place for conversations????


    I also tried one time at a place called California Girls in Santa Ana, CA. This one was really small. Definitely a lot more of the hispanic customer base so the music was very latin/spanish. I'm more into hip-hop, 90s, top 40s, etc. Anyhow, girls were nice too but since this one was too small, and also had a 2 drink minimum. I left in less than an hour. The one dance I got from here, that's when the girl asked me "If I was a virgin?" Another girl also told me "If we go in VIP, I do more like basically open up your pants and play in there a little bit". I was like "uhh... no nevermind".

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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    Selina - I think you might be right. If Bobblehead's experience with city of industry, CA is true, then perhaps these girls are so used to high contact that when I'm in there, they probably think I'm psycho wierd for *not* molesting them or I'm really an undercover cop or informant. But still, somehow, deep down, when I really "fondle" someone like that, especially in public because I feel like even though it's a private establishment, it's public to me, I always feel a strange fear of being attacked, sued, or worst, the cops come in because I "crossed" the line. I have that mental fear I can't seem to shake off. And it's just how I was raised unfortunately. Also, it's because I feel like I have to much too lose than these girls if I were to be arrested or retaliated against.

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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    First and foremost, by interactive I do not mean you have to touch/grope. Even if a dancer invites some mild touching, if it is beyond your comfort level you don't have to do it. You can tell her it's not your thing, most girls will not be offended. However that doesn't mean you can't talk, joke, smile appreciatively while she is dancing.

    Don't be cheap. Going to Strip Clubs is an expensive endeavor. Some of the girls may be using "boring" instead of calling you cheap. Tipping lapdances and VIPs is not like tipping at a restaurant. $20 is a minimum tip for a topless 3 dance set, if you really enjoyed the dance you should tip even more. For VIP you should be tipping $50 minimum, even for the "Kmart Blue Light special". Don't always wait for the special either. If you can see the show on the stage, whether sitting at the rail or at the bar, you should be putting some money on the stage. Strip clubs are just like anything else, you get what you pay for. You can't base the hour of conversation off of the lapdance price. If girls are getting $150 for the half hour VIP, then you should be tipping at least that amount for the hour on the floor. Not all VIP sessions involve dancing, a good number of them are just conversation and/or cuddling.

    These women are taking their clothes off for you, something most women won't do. They expect to be, and should be, remunerated well for that. It's not like you can go down to Denny's and order a plate of pancakes with a side of boobies.

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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    If CA is anything like it is in Phoenix, the customers don't get into any trouble, it all falls on us dancers (which is fucking ridiculous but that's another thread). If a bouncer were to think you were crossing the line, he'd just tap you on the shoulder and warn you. They don't automatically beat you up and toss you on the sidewalk.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    Ugh! Both of your posts were too long.#1. If you converse like that it's a big problem... TBH I think its that you weren't grabbing all over them, COI is a porn hub and a lot of those girls probably escort on the side (I hope I don't offend anyone with that assumption). Don't feel bad that you aren't a grabby pig but make sure if you go again before your bachelor party you are up front about what you are looking for because IMO they may be charging you based on their assumption of the service you want and you could be over paying.
    Last edited by Gia2608; 04-24-2015 at 07:55 PM. Reason: typo
    XoXo Gia
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  28. #16
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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    Quote Originally Posted by kyleyu View Post
    The problem is, I don't know how to negotiate a proper price on the floor. At this club, there's not a lot of girls taking guys to VIPs. This isn't like Vegas as I heard. Most guys here (especially at night time) are younger crowd and they all tend to wait till blue light specials and pay the 3 song for $20 instead of the 2 song for $20.

    5. Can someone please help me estimate and let me know if my offer would be unreasonable based on my math below? This offer is asking a girl I like to sit next to me for 1 hour ::

    I assume a girl on a slow/normal afternoon can do about 3-4 $20 dances per hour from my observations. So that's $20x4 = $80. Let's throw in an extra $40 nude dance. That's $120.00. But minus house fees which is 1/3, that leaves her with $80.00. If I offer her $80.00 to sit next to me for 1 hour to talk/chat and sit on my lap, does that seem offensive? But here's the thing, The girl might get tips from each of those dances.
    There was another thread here that asked about pricing for all night. It doesn't work to think logically about her opportunity costs or lost revenue. The dancers don't seem to think in these terms. What I've done in the past is put some money on the table and ask the girl to stick around to talk and let me know when she wants more $ to say longer. If she asks for more money too quickly then thank her and find another girl. I've had girls stay and hang out for hours just for the first tip. If they do be sure to tip very generously before you leave. It's only fair.

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  30. #17
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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    A few thoughts:

    During the blue light special, I'm willing to bet that it's the dancer who is getting less, not the house. When you insist on waiting for the special to spend money, you come off as cheap and that will make dancers not want to spend time with you.

    You probably shouldn't equate customers who sit at the stage or tip the dancers with sex offenders. If you have even an inkling of a similar attitude towards dancers, that comes through and would explain why they avoid you. Sometimes, no amount of money is worth spending time with a customer who thinks so low of you.

    As for your "math" on how much to offer a girl for an hour of time… IMO offering $80 for AN HOUR is insulting in most clubs. Dancers can easily sell more than 3-4 dancers per hour, and even if they don't, they're still not "on" for the whole hour with the same customer like they would be with you.

    If VIP is $300/hour or $200/hour during the blue light special, offer that or something at least around that -- not less than half or even a third! If you're tipping her that on the floor upfront, she's not going to have to give the house a cut, so she'll likely go for it. Offering significantly less makes it seem like you don't value her time and company and again, will deter dancers from approaching you because word will get around.

    I get that you work hard for your money and you want to get the most bang for your buck and don't want to drop a ton of cash, but strip clubs are a luxury commodity. Seasoned dancers can pick up on who comes off as cheap, so if you don't want to spend a lot of money, you can't expect to get a lot of attention.
    Last edited by shanna dior; 04-15-2015 at 02:28 PM.

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  32. #18
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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    omg if a guy offered me $80 to sit and talk to him for an hour i'd probably laugh in his face

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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    Oh Jesus, I missed this part of this post... $80 for an hour? Honey, I charge $100 for 15-20 minutes and $300 for an hour.
    You can't do our math for us. You don't know what our house fees are or how many dances we do in an hour.

    I HATE this customer logic. It irritates me beyond belief.
    $80 would be more stomachable if you were paying me to sit silently on your lap and play on my phone. You're not though, you want to be entertained for that entire hour, which is INCREDIBLY difficult sometimes and quite mentally draining. THAT is why we charge so much for sitting and talking.
    Even if I only sell $80 worth of dances in that hour, I would much rather hustle 2 different guys and spend 3-4 songs talking to/dancing with each for that $80. That's only 6-12 minutes of "entertaining" and 6-12 minutes of dancing. Bam, done 24 minutes in, and if I want to stop for the hour that's 36 minutes of chilling in the dressing room, instead of trying to make conversation with a stranger.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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  36. #20
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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    Spend $$ & you wont be.

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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    Quote Originally Posted by zeke View Post
    Spend $$ & you wont be.
    Yes and no IME. Dancers are no less human than anyone else. Now I've heard countless theories over the years, on multiple strip club sites, about how dancers should maximize their earnings with emotionless efficiency, but I rarely see those theories play out in practice. IME many girls, especially those who are nervous and/or struggle with some anti-social tendencies, naturally gravitate towards guys who are easier to approach and talk to. It is just human nature. My own experiences have gotten much better over the years as I became more relaxed in clubs and much easier to deal with.

    Anyway, just my fwiw.

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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    I agree 100% Rick. I would add self limiting beliefs to the reasons some girls don't make as much. For example, I was with a girl and spent about 1k in VIP with her. She leaves after to make her rounds and I stay in the club. I find another girl and spend another couple. When I leave I say goodbye to the first girl and ask why she never came back after our VIP. She said she thought I wouldn't want anymore with her. I've long since given up trying to figure out why they do what they do. I just enjoy the moment with whomever I'm with.

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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    ^Thanks NR, though I wasn't really shooting for a criticizing tone with my comments. If I was in my early 20s and had to get naked and sell dances to strange men, many of whom are 2 or even 3 times my age, I'd probably be influenced by emotional factors too.

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  42. #24
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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    Oh man, I wish you were my customer OP! I LOVE Asian men (I'm married to one) and I loved having them as customers when I danced because (and I know this is stereotyping but it's usually true) they're not all touchy feely, and are usually respectful, and maybe a little shy which to me is super cute and endearing. A lot of dancers are just super aggressive. They want you to touch them so that you'll get more excited and spend more $. They don't know how to get $ from men using actual social skills or other forms of seduction. So, I'm sorry you're going through this. It's not you. Maybe try a more high end club/low contact club where touching is less expected and the dancers actually know how to entertain, rather than giving you sob stories and forcing you to touch them.

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  44. #25
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    Default Re: Dancers, please help me - my 4th time in strip club and dancers think I'm boring

    Quote Originally Posted by NoRegrets View Post
    I agree 100% Rick. I would add self limiting beliefs to the reasons some girls don't make as much. For example, I was with a girl and spent about 1k in VIP with her. She leaves after to make her rounds and I stay in the club. I find another girl and spend another couple. When I leave I say goodbye to the first girl and ask why she never came back after our VIP. She said she thought I wouldn't want anymore with her. I've long since given up trying to figure out why they do what they do. I just enjoy the moment with whomever I'm with.
    Do you know if the first girl was particularly new?
    "There are different kinds of darkness. There is darkness that frightens, the darkness that soothes, the darkness that is restful. There is the darkness of lovers, and the darkness of assassins. It becomes what the bearer wishes it to be, needs it to be. It is not wholly bad or good."
    - The Court of Mist and Fury

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