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Last edited by ImmoralAllure; 05-03-2016 at 11:32 AM.
It's not how much you earn, it's how much you save!





Yes, yes, yes. Depression (and in my case, major depression) has been a cause for my retirement. I just got so depressed (especially due to stuff related to the military), that I couldn't tolerate anything or anyone (outside of my immediate family).
If my major depression (and all my mental shit gets better with my new cocktail of meds) gets better later this year, I'll dance again. The X games are coming soon, so I hope I'll get better soon.
I've missed TONS of work in my life due to depression/anxiety (I have bipolar 2). I've danced for three years now and have no savings to show for it, because of all the long periods of time where I've had to take work off. I agree with what other girls have said - freedom of scheduling is a blessing and a curse. There are a lot of days where I have to force myself to go in, or I just don't go in because I'm not feeling it. That being said, overall I am really thankful that I can choose my own shifts. There have been a lot of periods in the past couple of years where for months at a time, I was beyond the point of being able to work - I was delusional, hallucinating all the time, and too afraid to leave even the same corner of my room. Not exactly a good look for the clubbut I am so, so, so grateful for the fact that I worked in strip clubs where I can disappear at the drop of a hat and show up six months later to start work again, no questions asked!
I started medication about a month ago and now I'm missing work here and there because there are side effects from the medication that my body has to adjust to. Someday...someday I'll be able to work a normal amount!
One thing I'm really thankful for is that I find in our industry, mental health is less stigmatized. When I worked vanilla jobs (in restaurants etc) I never felt I could open up about my illness. Whereas I find in the sex industry, if I tell someone I didn't work because of anxiety or whatever, girls are open to it and oftentimes have their own mental struggles (as evidenced in this thread
Sending love and support to all y'all dealing with your own shit! <3
Yes, quite frequently. I also leave work every so often from getting overwhelmed. I'm an HSP (highly sensitive person) with occasional depression so if I fall into it, I NEED to stay home and self care. I just missed work last night because I'm going through a breakup with an emotionally abusive partner, who is unfortunately the main dj at my club -.-


I love all the replies so far.
I used to be a compulsive skin picker - I would pick at the acne on my face and make it far worse than it otherwise would have been. While I'm 99.9% recovered, sometimes I still 'relapse.' That was often a major reason for why I'd miss work. I'd call them "low self-esteem days." It feels very fucked up to self-destruct in such a visible area - you can't hide your face under a shirt. I was never a cutter, but it seems like a similar compulsion in many ways. I would use skin picking as a way to externalize my anxiety. I'm very lucky to have no scars from the damage I did.. Young skin recovers.
I'm Yes I get anxiety and freak out about whether or not I'll make money and dread the commute so sometimes I just don't go. Instead I'll relax and recharge for the next shift but then I'll beat myself up for not going when I have the opportunity to go to work. It's an unfortunate cycle that leads to me feeling more depressed.
Then I get sparks of motivation every now and then like the time we had a hot dj, and that friendly dancer who made me want to convert to lesbianism, the new manager who is kind of sexy, and those customers who spend hundreds with me really easily without hassle.
But other than these times or the times I feel happy and grateful, I do feel depressed or anxious and I am less likely to go to work even though I initially planned to.
“Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”





Wow, this's a GREAT THREAD, & is making me feel a bit better (I feel so guilty/bad/ashamed) that I haven't started bk yet..
MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP
-Eartha Kitt







yes, for a long time the only thing that would make me go in was to pop an adderall. Honestly. I would sleep til 4pm, wake up and have no energy. I didn't give a crap what bills were due. I just couldn't go.

I can relate to this. Lately I've really been hating work. I feel like I'm always pushing myself up with huge amounts of caffeine or a little bit of adderall. After a day or two of this I feel fried and exhausted.
I've been in college most of my dancing career so I usually only work weekends. Even 3 days in a row is hard for me. How do you full time ladies deal with it and keep yourself motivated?


I was working a fulltime (read constant overtime) real job and dancing 3-4 shifts a week. I was working 50-70 hours without sleeping. I was saving up money for a giant custody hearing I had coming up. Once I no longer had my full time job, I couldn't get out of bed to go to the club. It was SO MUCH easier going to work after I was already up and had 4 red bulls in me. Now I just get up, eat, then lay around and watch tv. It's ridiculous.




I am the same. I've always had either a full-time vanilla job or college aside from dancing, so I only work at the club 1-2 nights per week. I am still a student and whenever I try working more 3-5 shifts per week during the holidays, I feel burnt and start hating life.
Maybe find another part-time job to keep yourself busy and strip on the side?

I know what you mean. I've been depressed and burned out....i think the most recent was burnout tho because i traveled for a few weeks and then stopped dancing for a week. Went back to my home club and made bank...sometimes a change of scenery is all you need to get your mojo back....but other than work I don't go anywhere....
Yes. I ditch working because of depression and anxiety all the time.
But those bills though. Not being able to pay those makes me feel more depressed and anxious than not working so......off to work it is.
“Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”




Yes, for sure. I have bipolar 1 and am fighting my way through the worst depressive episode I've had in a long time, plus I have a full time day job. I just don't have any energy left. Hoping my new meds work. It was so bad last week I was seriously considering hospitalization. Bipolar 1 one is fucking hard to live with, especially because of the stigma and the fact that it's an invisible illness.

This post made me so happy. It's so easy to look at everyone around you and feel like an outcast because you are so depressed but literally everyone goes thru shit. It's nice to relate to people. It's like if I miss work for depression issues the more days I miss the harder it is to go back...start getting down on myself...start overthinking...what if I make no money? Lol ugh the struggle.





I bailed out yesterday and today. I'm not sure if it's burnout and a slow club for summer... I've been lucky to make $200 a shift all month, and if that isn't a burnout inducer I don't know what is.
But I think depression is starting to sink its claws in too... I realized today I hadn't cleaned all week, cracking exam prep books has been impossible, even seeing my horse is now a chore. I have slight anxiety all the time too, and my plan for today was literally to sleep ALL day. I was disappointed when I couldn't sleep past 1 pm. That probably means something is wrong.
Gonna force myself to go tomorrow bc it's Friday, and Sat to see my regular. Maybe I'll bank and it'll help pull me out.
"People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."
"You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."
I have PTSD, major depression, and panic disorder. The PTSD is honestly what gets me more than the other two when it comes to me going into the club. I'm so grateful that, while I don't have a schedule, my clubs sets days that I HAVE to go in at some point or another. But sometimes even that doesn't stop it. Since the PTSD is related to sexual abuse I went through when I was young, it's a huge back and forth with the club. Before I get there I feel exhausted just thinking about dealing with men and having to pretend that I care about literally anything they say. I can't stop thinking about how annoying and frustrating it is to stand in my bathroom for houring doing pointless vain things so that I can be appealing to them. But when I manage to get into the club, I enjoy it? I feel so in control around them, that it's my sexuality and they get access on only my terms and having that and all the girls there that support me is really empowering for me and my recovery.
Now I have to trick myself to go into work. Theres a cafe right next to my club that sells my favorite tea, so I tell myself that if I go in, I can get it to have while I'm getting ready in the dressing room. If I'm feeling particularly shitty I treat myself to one of the food trucks. I found, after years of living with this, that you can't not be kind and treat yourself, but that you also have to be so firm. I'm going back and forth on treatments now, as what I was on previously wasn't working anymore. But I hope everyone on this thread finds ways to be kind to themselves and forgiving. We are our own worst critics, but I think the fact that so many girls here bust their asses off shows how strong we all are. Love to all the mentally ill women out here, we fucking kick ass <3



Yes and sometimes anxiety keeps me from going in sometimes too. Everyday is a mental game that will determine if I'm going to work or not. I've been working on trying to keep positive thoughts in my head but every now and then I get that feeling in my stomach that makes me not want to leave the bed.
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