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Thread: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

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    God/dess xxxGothBarbie's Avatar
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    Default Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    I've always kinda been more withdrawn & only like the limelight in small doses but here lately I never want to leave my motel room unless it's to go to work or to get food. I want to go for walks but I feel like I'm going to just run into people I know & I don't want them to see me. I've never gotten this bad before until now. I don't really know tons of people here but it IS a small town where I will see the same people often (which bothers me). Over the last year I've been through alot & am currently homeless (by choice more less) living in a hotel, and am having major social anxieties for some odd reason or another. Do any of you go thru a withdrawal period where you want to just hide most of your days (including staying out of the gym or nature in general)? What is wrong with me?
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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    Hahaha, yes for sure. I'm definitely a hermit. Moving to BFE didn't really help, now there's the added "I don't wanna drive 40 miles" thing. I try to only see people on days I work up there, because I'm more interested in not buying gas/not putting mileage on my new car.

    I'm content to stay home most of the time. I live with my best friend already, and otherwise I have maybe 3 friends I see regularly, and by that I mean once a month for short excursions like coffee. I've stopped really texting anybody to hang out, and it really weeds out a lot of people, based on who is willing to meet halfway and who occasionally invites me to something of theirs. I don't like parties/nightclubs anymore, I work at a friggin' party. I'm more interested in getting my sleep and studying.

    I don't think there's anything wrong with you. Do you maybe subconsciously feel anxious about having to explain your situation to people? I know I get evasive and weird and looking for an escape route when conversations with un-informed people start turning towards the 'what do you do' category.
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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    Not alone! Wish I could help but I have a similar problem. Some days I feel like Howard Hughes minus the money. Come in with the milk! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HG8n7XY574Q

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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    I definitely have periods of time like this. I also wonder if the motel thing might be getting to you. I don't know why but when I stay in hotels for more than a day, and especially when I lived at a motel, I never wanted to leave my room. I'd force myself to go out for food and take a walk around the park across the street every night, but I felt "stuck" in my room. It's not like when you have a bunch of options for where to go and what to do. There's no stimulation in a motel room, and it make me feel like I can't even leave the place that's depressing me.
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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    No, you are definitely not the only one! I am the most isolated person I know; the only people I interact with are the people at my work, my family, and my one good friend. I have some good regulars at work who I see outside every now and then for extra money. But aside from that, I do not go out at all and I'm just not interested in meeting new people and socializing with others. I have a lot of hobbies that keep me entertained and I do them by myself. I do all my favorite things and do my daily errands by myself. To be honest, I love it. There's this good quote I heard that if you are lonely when you are alone, then you are not in good company. It describes my life perfectly! I do have social anxiety which prevents me from having much of a social life. Plus, it is my job to talk to people and entertain them which is hard enough for me to begin with. I only do it because I am paid to. When I'm not working, I just dont want to be bothered by people.

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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    I do the same thing. I am also more an introvert so I like periods of solitude. I also work in the same town I live so a part of it is not wanting to run into club customers. For this reason I frequently rotate where I shop even if it means traveling to different towns.

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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    You are def. Not alone. There is an entire thread in camming connection about this subject.
    I will bump it so it's on the front page.
    Lots of camgirls, myself included are hermits.
    I love it!

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    God/dess xxxGothBarbie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    *whew* I'm glad I'm not the only one I def do everything by myself & try to schedule myself daily gigs off CL that pay that day and that aren't sex work related to take some of the added pressure from being broke & stuck in my head all day. I go out maybe twice a week to my face bar & see aquaintances for a few hours and just work the rest of my time. I was starting to wonder if I was slowly losing it heh . I'll even find myself shopping at the market at 2-3 am just so I can avoid people or I'll eat in my car if I order food while I'm out. I feel "safer" when I'm isolated from people inside my motel room. It's quite cozy in here actually. When at work I've noticed I only feel comfortable at work on slower nights bc when the groups come in , I feel highly intimidated & scared to approach so I hang back & watch for the loners to hustle for dances. I've even gotten to where I won't make eye contact with the bigger crowds on the weekends if I'm onstage; which def can potentially hurt my money bc most may think I''m a snobby bitch. Maybe I need a dayshift place?
    "Don't go mistaking paradise for a pair of long legs"

    "Respect is a dying art"

    "Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box"


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    God/dess xxxGothBarbie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    I do the same thing. I am also more an introvert so I like periods of solitude. I also work in the same town I live so a part of it is not wanting to run into club customers. For this reason I frequently rotate where I shop even if it means traveling to different towns.
    Omg me too! LOL I'm always going to a town like sometimes 15 miles away from here so I stop running into the same ppl . My club is not that close to my town but def within a reasonable distance that I'd run the risk of seeing a custy out & about.
    "Don't go mistaking paradise for a pair of long legs"

    "Respect is a dying art"

    "Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box"


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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    I'm pathologically introverted. If I have a stretch of 3-4 days where I have no outside obligations, I won't go farther than my yard. In fact, I usually go inside if I see my neighbors. But yeah, it's very easy for me to spend all day indoors with my cat. I prefer it that way, at least until I have nothing but mustard and bonito flakes in my fridge and then I have to face the dreaded grocery store. I spent $30 on pizza delivery last week rather than go a mile to the store to get a week's worth of groceries for the same price!

    It's not that I don't like people, but human contact is immensely stressful for me. I have a few friends that I absolutely adore, but I can't hang out with them for longer than an hour or two before my mind starts going blank and I get anxious and cranky. Yep. I'm basically a toddler who gets overwhelmed and needs frequent naps!

    Trufax though, one of the reasons I love SW is that it provides necessary girl-type human contact without all the anxiety that face-to-face communication brings me.


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    Senior Member wr1ter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    I'm the same way, too. I've barely left my apartment for weeks except to go to therapy and quick trips to the store :/ But I'm happy this way. I'm a natural introvert, and after I started working at home there really wasn't much of a reason to go out except for necessities. I used to go out for friends at least once or twice a week but in the past couple of months I really lost my drive, so I just sit at home all day. I don't like sitting on the balcony unless it's the middle of the day when my neighbors are at work, and I hate walking the dog in the afternoons/evenings because there's so many people walking around!

    It drives my mom crazy that I'm home all the time, and I constantly have to assure her that I'm not lonely, haha. I just like to be alone, and get plenty of social interaction through skype calls and such.

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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    you've only got one life ... I'd suggest you look at taking up a hobby that involves travel (natural travel, go see the redwoods or an unspoiled beach, or historical travel, go see the Pantheon in Rome, or Art travel, go see the museum on the water in Mystic Connecticut)

    Travel can be done cheaply or expensively, with friends or without, and the memories last. Read books about your chosen subject and really get into it. You'll be an expert at something new.

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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    I am very introverted and am not much of a people person. People who don't know me might think I am shy but I just don't like socializing all that much, and people who know me from work are always surprised to hear I am not as comfortable with people as I am at the club.

    When I was younger, I always tried to fit in, sitting with dozen of people in the cafeteria because it is frowned upon to eat alone, going out to clubs and bars when I had absolutely no interest in drinking, partying or mingling with the crowd. I always felt slightly uncomfortable in these situations and even with very good friends, I can't stand spending more than a few hours with them.

    I love spending all day studying at the library alone without much interaction and prefer solitary activities, such as reading. As I grew older, I realized there is nothing wrong simply being who I am, I get all the social interaction I need at work, I have a couple of good friends and I am not that interested in going out, meeting and getting to know new people (unless they're from SW ).

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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    I'm an extrovert, but personally I think I'm too jaded to maintain relationships with people outside of the SC. Whenever I interact with people face to face for an extended period, my mind usually wanders into 'I should be getting paid for this...' territory.


    Since sex work is so interactive, I don't think needing some solitude during your downtime is unusual. So no worries, GothBarbie! There are plenty of people who prefer alone-time.

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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    i definitely am an introvert, and now even more so that i work from home.....i swear if it weren't for school i would leave my house maybe once or twice a week for groceries or provisions, other than going out with my bf o_0

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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    I'm w/ya Barbie!
    Life.
    Can't go back & fix what we've done wrong in the past, but it does allow us to live each day better than our last. \

    You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.



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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    I wouldn't say i suffer from social anxiety, but i enjoy being alone a whole lot more than being around people. I don't think there is anything wrong with this.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    Same! The problem is my economic situation is pushing me to fight that anxiety and survive.

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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    An ex-friend of mine used to say all the time: "I like pizza more than most people. And by that I mean that I like pizza more than most people like pizza, but I also mean that I like pizza more than I like most people."

    This thread made me think of that cuz I always laughed. Too bad his "not liking people" thing made him a huge douche who threw hissy fits about everything.

    Anyway /threadjack. I just thought of that and it made me giggle.
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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    Extreme introvert/hermit/social phobic here- the real deal kind that involves therapy and medication. I'm better than I used to be, but still really wonky in certain situations, especially when caught off guard, like bumping into someone from high school or when a complete stranger starts talking to me for no reason. I call these "unrequested social interactions," or USIs.

    Example: I am in a line which is moving very slowly. There is a very attractive girl in front of me. I manage some small talk about the slowness and maybe the weather or something. The line starts to move and I mentally congratulate myself on not looking like an idiot. A couple hours later, I go to stand in a line at a different store and see the same girl in front of me! I try to think of something clever to say, like "Nice to see you again," but then decide she'll think I'm a stalker and hide behind a rack of shirts instead.

    I even have a hard time socializing online. By the time you read this post, I will have reread and rewritten it at least twenty times, scrutinizing each and every word, trying to ensure that I haven't inadvertently said something foolish or offensive.

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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    Quote Originally Posted by xxxGothBarbie View Post
    I've always kinda been more withdrawn & only like the limelight in small doses but here lately I never want to leave my motel room unless it's to go to work or to get food. I want to go for walks but I feel like I'm going to just run into people I know & I don't want them to see me. I've never gotten this bad before until now. I don't really know tons of people here but it IS a small town where I will see the same people often (which bothers me). Over the last year I've been through alot & am currently homeless (by choice more less) living in a hotel, and am having major social anxieties for some odd reason or another. Do any of you go thru a withdrawal period where you want to just hide most of your days (including staying out of the gym or nature in general)? What is wrong with me?
    Have you considered going to a medical professional?

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    Featured Member kaninchen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    I really do not want to leave the house today. Stupid non-negotiable obligations... This morning I'm really, really tempted to blow off everything so I can be alone.

    I have a dorky mantra for when I feel this way. I tell myself, "Choose life!" Not because I'm anti-abortion (I'm not) but because introversion can be deadly in combination with depression and anxiety. It gets way too easy to hide indoors and completely miss out on living your life. I want my solitude, but I want good solitude!

    Anyone else struggle with keeping productive introversion from turning into harmful introversion?

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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    Working in bars made me more introverted and less willing to go out and socialize. I just got burned out on dealing with people. Oddly enough you would assume the sexual aspect of being a dancer in a bar would be harder for a human....but no. It's just talking to them and dealing with them in general that can be so draining.

    I'm also old enough to where I can read people pretty fast- so going out & meeting new people isn't fun when you think you've got them figured out really quick.

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    God/dess ScarletKitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    I've always been an introvert. I used to have extreme social anxiety up until I took psilocybin for the first time in 2011. After that experience, my social anxiety disorder was completely cured. But, I'm STILL an introvert naturally. I love my alone time. Especially after becoming a stripper, people just drain the hell out of me. Alot of introverts get drained, partially because of the self-monitoring. We tend to exhaust ourselves just by monitoring our own body language, facial expressions, and what we say, constantly. I don't really feel shy the way I used to, but I still feel like I always have to monitor myself and read people constantly.

    The other thing that gets to me is how incredibly artificial people seem to be. People are always wearing a mask, faking some part of their personality in order to "fit in" or manipulate or seem normal to others. (I know this is ironic coming from a stripper. I'm referring to interactions OTC.) I just want real interaction with intriguing conversation. But that is very hard to find it seems. People don't want to bare their souls out of fear, so they just engage in small talk instead of really connecting with each other in an open way. I want to come out of my shell and find amazing people to connect with, but it's difficult for me because I'm jaded now, and it's hard to find people who seem "real". I hope I'm making sense.

    Edit: I know I just contradicted myself. Self-monitoring when I interact with people and then saying I want real interaction. lol. The irony that is me.
    Last edited by ScarletKitten; 05-15-2015 at 07:06 PM.
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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I THE only one that has turned into a hermit & suffers social anxiety?

    Quote Originally Posted by ScarletKitten View Post

    The other thing that gets to me is how incredibly artificial people seem to be. People are always wearing a mask, faking some part of their personality in order to "fit in" or manipulate or seem normal to others. (I know this is ironic coming from a stripper. I'm referring to interactions OTC.) I just want real interaction with intriguing conversation. But that is very hard to find it seems. People don't want to bare their souls out of fear, so they just engage in small talk instead of really connecting with each other in an open way. I want to come out of my shell and find amazing people to connect with, but it's difficult for me because I'm jaded now, and it's hard to find people who seem "real". I hope I'm making sense.
    Yes, all that!

    Does anyone else get really stressed out by other salespeople? When I was buying a car, at one place I got super anxious and upset and almost called the cab to take me home, because they were just asking so many questions/in my business/being really kinda condescending and pushy. I ended up buying from a place that doesn't haggle prices and the salesman didn't give a shit what car, because he got a flat commission (it was SO much better!) I probably paid $500 over Blue Book, but the low stress was worth it. Last night, we were at a couple of jewelers looking at rings, and they pulled the split-the-couple-up tactic, which became immediately stressful as I had no one to back me up. When I objected to the $3000 diamonds they were pushing and said I wanted to look at white sapphires, they got condescending and "No you don't want those blah blah blah". Of course I don't, they're only $300... ugh. They knew my other half would just sign the credit card slip for whatever I wanted, but I was being the 'difficult' one, and they didn't like that. I almost cried after escaping the first store.

    It's like it stresses me out because I KNOW what they are doing, and it just comes off as very rude and it's like, seriously? Is that how you treat people all the time? Or does your job just tell you to be a condescending asshole? Like, I AM a salesperson too, but I only treat people that way if they're assholes to me. Even when trying to hustle one of those guys that wants to prove his net worth by spending it, I'm reasonably sweet.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

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