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Thread: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

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    Veteran Member funismymiddlename's Avatar
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    Default How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    I'm a super jealous possessive person. I hate the idea of the guy I'm with looking at other women bc I feel like I'm the best and he should be focused on me. However, I kinda understand the guy perspective bc I'm attracted to women. I would never have sex with a woman but I find them sexually attractive. Part of me is like ok I get it staring is natural bc I do it too. The other part of me wants to snatch his eyes out and step on them. My initial reaction in this situation is to say something rude to him, throw a drink in his face, or go flirt/dance with the hottest guy I can find. Is this overreacting?

    I was out with a guy who was staring at the girl next to us at a night club so I dirty danced with the guy that was eyeing me from across the room and his friend. They were taller and in better shape than my date. When I came back to him he was looking super stupid. I guess he thought it was ok to eye other girls bc I like girls too but wtf.

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    God/dess Trem's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    You deal with it by realizing it is YOUR problem and something you should be working on within yourself to fix. Your initial reactions are incredibly immature, and obviously overreacting.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    Usually I'm pointing out the hot chicks with him.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    I lean into his line of vision and a) if she's attractive, I'll go "oooo! She's hot, isn't she!?" Or b) if she's not that attractive, I'll say "Oh, come on, she's not even that hot. THAT girl is way hotter!"

    It's just a cuter way of saying "Hey, I know what you're doing." Not mad or anything, but seriously, downright staring at someone is just creepy even if you aren't with someone else. I like that this way, it diffuses the tension that could be created by a shitty confrontation, but it either makes him aware that he's not subtle and he knocks it off, or if we have a good vibe, it starts a hot flirty thing where we pick out the attractive women together.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

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    Veteran Member drearea's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    Woahhh there......

    Okay, "staring" like seriously just not keeping his eyes off that one chick for minutes at a time, that's rude to do to her and you.

    Looking at other girls, that's normal and it's really not healthy to have such an issue with it. If you're being honest about how you'd prefer to react to these scenarios, I'd suggest you "deal with your bf staring at other women" by going to therapy. Because that's seriously not okay. You shouldn't be so pissed at your dude glancing at what's around you.

    Look, my dude is 40 and not what people consider conventionally attractive. I'm 24 and I am considered conventionally attractive. He still peeks at other women, and it doesn't bother me because I know he isn't ever going to cheat on me or give another woman more attention than he gives me. If you don't have that trust, why are you in the relationship? If you can never give ANYONE that trust, why are you in ANY relationship? If it's just a date why are you so emotionally invested that you'll get spiteful?

    Not trying to be mean, I just know it probably sucks to be in the place you're in and honesty is how I do life.
    "Well then it's a good thing your faith in me has no impact on how much I make." - MissEgo

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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Usually I'm pointing out the hot chicks with him.
    I wish I could be like this bc I do check out women when I'm alone I wish I wasn't such a jealous person.

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    Veteran Member funismymiddlename's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    Quote Originally Posted by drearea View Post
    Woahhh there......

    Okay, "staring" like seriously just not keeping his eyes off that one chick for minutes at a time, that's rude to do to her and you.

    Looking at other girls, that's normal and it's really not healthy to have such an issue with it. If you're being honest about how you'd prefer to react to these scenarios, I'd suggest you "deal with your bf staring at other women" by going to therapy. Because that's seriously not okay. You shouldn't be so pissed at your dude glancing at what's around you.

    Look, my dude is 40 and not what people consider conventionally attractive. I'm 24 and I am considered conventionally attractive. He still peeks at other women, and it doesn't bother me because I know he isn't ever going to cheat on me or give another woman more attention than he gives me. If you don't have that trust, why are you in the relationship? If you can never give ANYONE that trust, why are you in ANY relationship? If it's just a date why are you so emotionally invested that you'll get spiteful?

    Not trying to be mean, I just know it probably sucks to be in the place you're in and honesty is how I do life.
    I love my life I have a major ego I'm used to everyone kissing my ass and giving me loads of attention. My friends worship me. My family thinks I'm the best. I'm the only child. Whenever I walk into a room I'm the center of attention everyone stares at me. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells guys get mad when other men stare. I shouldn't have to look away or keep my head down while they drool over other women. Yes if someone disrespects me I will maybe take it overboard but I just don't tolerate bs. I expect nothing but the best.

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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    My boyfriend told me he was at another club getting dances but said "I figured you wouldn't mind because she was older than you and her tits were fake."
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    I would be super pissed off I know exactly how you feel! But I would make a joke of it. I'd be like "I'm way hotter than her!" and then laugh. It lets the guy know that I'm not cool with that kind of behavior, but shows that I have enough confidence to laugh about it. See how he responds, if he's a dick about it then end the date. If he's cool, he'll be like "yeah your right!" and make it up to you for the rest of the date.

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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    Quote Originally Posted by funismymiddlename View Post
    I love my life I have a major ego I'm used to everyone kissing my ass and giving me loads of attention. My friends worship me. My family thinks I'm the best. I'm the only child. Whenever I walk into a room I'm the center of attention everyone stares at me.
    Is this some kind of joke?
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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    Quote Originally Posted by funismymiddlename View Post

    I was out with a guy who was staring at the girl next to us at a night club so I dirty danced with the guy that was eyeing me from across the room and his friend. They were taller and in better shape than my date. When I came back to him he was looking super stupid. I guess he thought it was ok to eye other girls bc I like girls too but wtf.
    Assuming this is for real--and I have my doubts--you stooped to his level, or probably lower.

    I'd be annoyed if a woman I took on a date was really staring at another guy, unless maybe he was weird or something. But if she dirty danced with some other dude, I'd walk out & leave her cold in that bar. He could have her, because she'd be utterly worthless to me.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser View Post
    Is this some kind of joke?
    This is reality for some people. When you are put on a pedestal your entire life you become used to it. I have a guy acquaintance who is like that. We live in a city that is not known for its beauties. Maybe if we were in Miami or LA things would be a little different.

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    Veteran Member funismymiddlename's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser View Post
    Assuming this is for real--and I have my doubts--you stooped to his level, or probably lower.

    I'd be annoyed if a woman I took on a date was really staring at another guy, unless maybe he was weird or something. But if she dirty danced with some other dude, I'd walk out & leave her cold in that bar. He could have her, because she'd be utterly worthless to me.
    why on earth would I make that up? One of the guys was worried at first when I started dancing on him he asked if my bf would be mad but I said he's not my bf. My date was an average looking guy I'm not shy guys stare at me all the time so it wasn't hard for me to do that. Yes I "stooped to his level" and I dirty danced with 2 guys at the same time. But he was nice to me the entire night he stopped paying attention to other girls and even asked me out again.

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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    Quote Originally Posted by funismymiddlename View Post
    I love my life I have a major ego I'm used to everyone kissing my ass and giving me loads of attention. My friends worship me. My family thinks I'm the best. I'm the only child. Whenever I walk into a room I'm the center of attention everyone stares at me. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells guys get mad when other men stare. I shouldn't have to look away or keep my head down while they drool over other women. Yes if someone disrespects me I will maybe take it overboard but I just don't tolerate bs. I expect nothing but the best.
    I would tell your bf to take a hike, bc I think he can do a lot better than the narcissistic little twit you're describing here. For such a 'major ego' it sounds like your confidence is really shitty -- if you really thought you were such hot shit you probably wouldn't feel so threatened at the mere thought of not being the centre of his attention.

    Seriously, get over yourself. While staring -- prolonged looking at another person for minutes at a time -- is creepy & damn rude, humans are visual creatures. It is natural for us to look around & notice things that we find attractive. You have no leg to stand on since you do it too, & even said that just bc you look doesn't mean you want to touch.

    If you don't trust him, why the hell are you w/ him? If it's just a matter of wanting to throw a tantrum any time he goes more than two seconds w/o being focussed on you, I think your nxt 'date' should be w/ a therapist.

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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    I would tell your bf to take a hike, bc I think he can do a lot better than the narcissistic little twit you're describing here. For such a 'major ego' it sounds like your confidence is really shitty -- if you really thought you were such hot shit you probably wouldn't feel so threatened at the mere thought of not being the centre of his attention.

    Seriously, get over yourself. While staring -- prolonged looking at another person for minutes at a time -- is creepy & damn rude, humans are visual creatures. It is natural for us to look around & notice things that we find attractive. You have no leg to stand on since you do it too, & even said that just bc you look doesn't mean you want to touch.

    If you don't trust him, why the hell are you w/ him? If it's just a matter of wanting to throw a tantrum any time he goes more than two seconds w/o being focused on you, I think your nxt 'date' should be w/ a therapist.
    lol I'm super confident I have no problem with attractive women. Attractive women are nicer to me than average women. Most of my friends are very attractive and I love them. If you were paying attention you would have read it's not a prob bc I don't trust him. I'm used to being treated a certain way. From the time I was little to now I've had random people tell me I'm attractive both men and women young and old. When you are put on a pedestal your entire life it does something to you. Most people don't understand that. Just bc I hold myself to a certain standard (a standard others have helped build over the yrs) doesn't mean I need a therapist. I find that amusing.

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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    Quote Originally Posted by funismymiddlename View Post
    lol I'm super confident I have no problem with attractive women. Attractive women are nicer to me than average women. Most of my friends are very attractive and I love them. If you were paying attention you would have read it's not a prob bc I don't trust him. I'm used to being treated a certain way. From the time I was little to now I've had random people tell me I'm attractive both men and women young and old. When you are put on a pedestal your entire life it does something to you. Most people don't understand that. Just bc I hold myself to a certain standard (a standard others have helped build over the yrs) doesn't mean I need a therapist. I find that amusing.
    You are also kinda proving my point here.

    From your posts it sounds like you are looking for disrespect where there might not be any -- not to mention, further re-inforcement of the notion that you are, in fact, the centre of all the universe. If you feel 'OMG SOOOOO DISRESPECTED!! ' which is very much the tone of your OP, why do yourself the disservice of continuing to honour such unappreciative jackwagons w/ the pricelessness of your company?

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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    Quote Originally Posted by funismymiddlename View Post
    lol I'm super confident
    The hell you are. If you were even moderately confident, you would never have started this thread, because you wouldn't have a problem with guys staring at other women at all.

    Either you'd laugh about it & find a way to get his undivided attention back for the rest of the night, or you'd laugh at him and walk out. You sure as shit wouldn't play the same game as he was and even take it up one more notch by grinding all over a couple of random douchebags.

    I have no problem with women grinding on strangers in nightclubs, but when they do it only to get even with some idiot when they would be far better off dumping the guy, they are stooping to the same level (or lower) of playing petty mind games. No one wins that kind of game. And if that guy asked you out again after watching you grind all over a couple random guys when you were on a date with him...damn he is one serious loser.

    And if so, why the fuck would you waste your time with him anymore, when you are the center of the universe & can get any guys you want without any effort at all?

    Sorry, it just doesn't add up at all--which is why I wondered if this was some kind of colossal elaborate joke on the members of SW.

    Quote Originally Posted by funismymiddlename View Post
    When you are put on a pedestal your entire life it does something to you.
    Some people--truly confident people--eventually realize that attention based on superficial bullshit is basically worthless. Other people--the really insecure ones--become more & more addicted to superficial adulation & asskissing for their sense of self worth. Sorry, but it sure sounds like you are in the latter category. Unless of course this is a big joke of some strange kind.
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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    Quote Originally Posted by funismymiddlename View Post
    I'm a super jealous possessive person.
    Jealousy always stems from fear. No one who is truly confident will let it get that bad.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    If it's your first date, then maybe he is bored and waiting for the right time to go home. I've been in the shoes of that guy who is just bored to tears with his date. If this is someone you've been dating a while and have communicated to him that you are very insecure about him looking at other women, then he is not respecting your wishes and you should break up.

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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    Quote Originally Posted by funismymiddlename View Post
    I love my life I have a major ego I'm used to everyone kissing my ass and giving me loads of attention. My friends worship me. My family thinks I'm the best. I'm the only child. Whenever I walk into a room I'm the center of attention everyone stares at me. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells guys get mad when other men stare. I shouldn't have to look away or keep my head down while they drool over other women. Yes if someone disrespects me I will maybe take it overboard but I just don't tolerate bs. I expect nothing but the best.
    Oh dear. You're going to find adult life very difficult, I fear. Make sure you have enough money to hire some lawyers, I suspect you are going to need them sooner or later.

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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    Wasnt this a bit in the movie "hall pass" ?

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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    You are going to live a lonely life if you keep up this jealously mindset. It's childish. No matter what you look like, someone is going to get tired of it, and leave you.


    I understand completely being center of attention. I'm the only daughter. My father waits on me hand and foot. My brothers can sometimes be scary over protective. I was spoiled to the extreme growing up by all member of my family. Both sets of grandparents always liked me more out of the shit ton of cousins I have because I talk to them, engage, spend time with them, and pleasant to be around. Overall, I'm well liked. Do I let it feed my ego, no.

    Confident people don't get jealous. Confident people don't get pissed over glances. Confident people don't have to flirt with other men to get even.

    You maybe pretty, but you sound so ugly.

    Next time your at the club, put blinders on your date.



    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser View Post
    Jealousy always stems from fear. No one who is truly confident will let it get that bad.

    man, I miss yoda. <3





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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    I am so over this thread. I started bc I thought maybe I overreacted I know sometimes I tend to take things to another level. I know I should try to be more reasonable. Now I have mind readers and human confidence meters attacking me for no reason. Having little tolerance for disrespect has nothing to do with confidence. The reason I don't put up with shit is bc I fucking love myself and I know I deserve the best. I know myself so it's laughable when a bunch of people who don't know me try to tell me who I am and how I feel. I'm done explaining myself. None of you have lived my life therefore you wouldn't understand. Anyway I'm going to be productive and enjoy my weekend. Hope you all make lots of money.

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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    LOL. So I'm going to take what you say at face value and assume that you're not being cocky. Why did you settle for the average guy then? At your level of attractiveness shouldn't you be with a total 10 like yourself? After all, it's not like you'd have to worry about the more attractive men being stolen from such a doll as yourself, amirite?

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    Default Re: How do you deal with your date/ bf staring at other women?

    Quote Originally Posted by funismymiddlename View Post
    I am so over this thread. I started bc I thought maybe I overreacted I know sometimes I tend to take things to another level. I know I should try to be more reasonable. Now I have mind readers and human confidence meters attacking me for no reason. Having little tolerance for disrespect has nothing to do with confidence. The reason I don't put up with shit is bc I fucking love myself and I know I deserve the best. I know myself so it's laughable when a bunch of people who don't know me try to tell me who I am and how I feel. I'm done explaining myself. None of you have lived my life therefore you wouldn't understand. Anyway I'm going to be productive and enjoy my weekend. Hope you all make lots of money.
    Clearly the problem is that you are too awesome.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

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