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Thread: Fight with my bf and can hardly function

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    Veteran Member katerina29's Avatar
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    Default Fight with my bf and can hardly function

    Last night i got into a fight on the phone with my bf, it was about stupid stuff and I was accusing him of not wanting to see me or take me out to special places. He yelled at me to go find someone else who would do all these things and he hung up. I gave him a few mins, as in the past he would call back. He didn't and I can't sleep in a fight, so I rang him 3 times, and I sent him a text saying sorry and let's get over it etc.

    weve been dating for over 1 year, and hardly fight. This is not like him and he's never been like this before, he's never been so angry at me. I'm not calling him again, I'm just waiting to see if I hear back. But in the meantime I hardly slept, can't eat, and can't do anything. It's been almost 24 hours and he's never done this before.

    i really like him and he said he loves me, but I think he's totally overreacting. I have a feeling I won't hear from him again, just so upset and going out my mind... Thanks it helps to write x

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    Default Re: Fight with my bf and can hardly function

    Find someone else. He sounds like a jerk. If you have to argue with someone to see you or take you places he's not worth it. There are other fish in the sea. I left someone of 8 years and he treated me great I treated him like crap. He still calls to this day. Next guy be more aloof. Don't chase guys. They should chase you!

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    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fight with my bf and can hardly function

    K, It sucks that you are going through this. Relationship problems are never easy, especially when one side just shuts down communication the way he did.

    When I read your post, I wasn't completely sure whether the bigger issue was simply him not spending enough time with you or if he just wasn't meeting your dating expectations by taking you to "special places." If he just doesn't want to spend time with you, then that's an unforgivable issue IMHO after a year of dating. If it has to do with where he takes you, are his finances an issue? Could he be shutting down because he doesn't think that he can live up to your expectations? That was the impression I got from his comment "go find someone else who would do all these things", but I am totally speculating here.

    I guess my ultimate question here is: Is he shutting down because he just can't be bothered to put more time and effort into the relationship, or because he is frustrated because he is doing all he can and it is not enough? If he just can't be bothered, then IMHO he clearly needs to go. If it is a time and resource issue for him, then I wonder if some of this stuff could be talked through once his frustration subsides.

    In any event, good luck as you work through this and I hope you feel better soon.

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fight with my bf and can hardly function

    Welp. He DID tell you to find another guy to take you places so if I was you I'd do just that! Find another guy like he told you to do cause obviously he's not trying to put in effort nor does he care about you leaving him for someone else. Plus he hung up in your face so I think he should be the one apologizing.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fight with my bf and can hardly function

    I hope you sort it! I hate fights. I'm guessing it's probably more about the lack of effort ( since I'm betting you can take yourself to nice places ).

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    Senior Member skripper's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fight with my bf and can hardly function

    Time to find a new guy! He's not giving you want and he sounds disrespectful..a year really isn't that long and it's a good time to get out before you get to engrossed in the relationship. Good luck!

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    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fight with my bf and can hardly function

    I'd evaluate how far your situation is from what you want.
    For example , if you want company 3-4 times a week but he only sees you once ... That's pretty far off.
    Set aside a time to talk in advance so he's mentally prepped for a talk / not feeling randomly attacked.
    ( if you get in touch anyway !)
    Last edited by carmen_b; 05-18-2015 at 06:40 PM.

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    Default Re: Fight with my bf and can hardly function

    Quote Originally Posted by katerina29 View Post
    Last night i got into a fight on the phone with my bf, it was about stupid stuff and I was accusing him of not wanting to see me or take me out to special places. He yelled at me to go find someone else who would do all these things and he hung up.
    I want to help, but I would need a little more information. (1) How often does he see you? Once a week? once a month? 3-4 times a week? This matters a lot. (2) Linked to the first question, how often do you go out? I assume a special place is a nice restaurant, club, or show of some sort. In his comment, he said you are asking for more than other boyfriend's would do, but I can't really tell.

    I'm going to go against the majority here and say if his point is valid, then you should try to win him back. I'm not saying I agree with him. I don't have enough information either way, but I'm a romantic and like to see people happy together.

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