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Thread: Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

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    Default Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

    Well - although I have some post baby work to do to get my stripper body back before I go working the club(s) - I'm trying to mentally prepare myself and get feedback on anything that I worried about coming up - plus a few things I noticed at the club I worked at... For anyone who read my "New Girl Hustle" - THAT wont be happening again.. (If you didn't read it - I got hustled by another dancer while closing on my very first lap dance to do a double with her - uninvited..)
    Anyway - I have a few concerns.. The last place I danced had its fair share of drama and I think every club does - but Now I'm going to be the new girl again.. Here are just a few things that happened to me when I started at the club - and it's been a little less than a year since I worked.. This was stuff I just had to navigate through myself - maybe some of you have suggestions - maybe there are some new girls who can benefit from this as well...
    1. (This has probably been discussed somewhere on SW - so I apologize if I'm being redundant..) *Knowing I'm new another dancer will ask...*
    "So...! How have you done so far...?" (This is easier to evade than) "So...! Have you gotten any lap dances..?" *and if so* "How many...?"
    I made the mistake of being honest since everyone knows I'm the "new girl" I figured expectations were kinda low.. Then one girl had the.. I don't know..
    I still don't know if she was trying to actually give me advice or if she was just taking pleasure in acting like some sort of entitled "teacher" ...
    She said "Okay - on a busy night you should be getting x amount - on a slower night like tonight you want to get x amount in such and such amount of time.
    It made me feel kinda stupid.. She was kinda new to the club (newer than me actually!!) But...! She came from another club and had been doing it longer. So.... This of course took place in the DR and I try to avoid any sort of conversation *with exception to passing small talk* But some people are so damn nosy!!!
    2. Smaller clubs and "taking girl's regulars"
    Okay.. This didn't happen to me - but it very well could have - and it was only BECAUSE of what I witnessed in the DR after a shift... Another girl had started one of the nights I was working. Again - another "new girl" who had been doing it much longer than I had. She had apparently hustled 1 or 2 of a vet's regulars. Now this chick (the veteran dancer) was nice to me - other than the time she pulled that "New Girl Hustle" on me while I was closing with a customer for my first lap dance... She didn't do it again - and she didn't try to take advantage of me again - although I still agree that it was cut throat to approach me when I was closing (even if it WAS my first time.. I was doing it right apparently..) But whatever - I walked into the DR after a shift and holy SHIT!! You would have thought the world was ending right then and there. That girl who had started that night had hustled a few of her customers that she considered HER regulars and I thought there was for real gonna be a fight right there. And they have cameras all over that dressing room too..! While nobody got hit - the fur was flying... This chick (the vet) got ALL up in this new girl's face. The new chick looked a little shook - but she stood her ground - said she had no idea.. One of the other dancers who had been working there for a while said "Unless a customer says I'm here for so-and-so.. I say they're fair game." A few of the other girls agreed. I kept my mouth shut - but I thought it made sense too. If it was "her" regular - why did he buy a dance from someone else..?

    Anyway.. Those are the first 2 things I thought of... I'm curious what everyone else thinks .. I've gotten past a lot of "new girl" shit - but I'm sure you get hit with something else at every club.. Especially since there are so many different kinds of clubs. Any advice/info is welcome and greatly appreciated!
    Thanks in advance!

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    Default Re: Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

    In regards to #1 -- non-commital responses are your friend. Just because someone asks you a question, doesn't mean you have to answer it. Someone asks how your night is going? "Can't complain." If they inquire as to how much money you've made or how many dances/VIPs you've sold? "Can't complain." If they start offering advice, nod and smile while exiting the DR or otherwise extricating yourself from the situation, maybe with a "gotta get back to work!" People will be as nosy and chatty as you let them. In the club, you need to assert boundaries with both the customers and your fellow dancers. It's ok to be standoffish. Smile politely and engage in the general niceties but keep to yourself.

    As for #2 -- there's been a lot of talk about regulars on here and I think SW is of the same mind as the dancers who commented that customers are fair game. They're big boys, and if they want to wait for their favourite, they will shoo away anyone who approaches. Just because they're a regular, doesn't mean they don't want to try something new once in a while. And besides, no regular lasts forever, so maybe he's moving on entirely. In any case: it doesn't matter because anyone that walks through the door and is sitting without a dancer is open for hustling. It's no one's responsibility to ensure that the favourite gets to her customer. That's not to say that some dancers aren't outrageously possessive (as you witnessed), but tough shit. As long as you aren't aggressive with customers who tell you they're waiting for a certain dancer, you're fine.

    The common thread in these two situations is that the less time you spend in the DR and engaging with other dancers, the better off you'll be: you'll be drama-free and have more money in your wallet since you'll be focusing on hustling rather than fending off craziness.

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    Default Re: Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

    It sounds like you are REALLY worried abt what other dancers think of you, OP. There is no room in this business for that. Dominant/predatory personalities can pick up on that mindset & will look for ways to exploit it.

    You can be polite w/o 'letting in' other ppl, which is the general tack Shanna suggested, or you can shut down the prying right away.

    -- How much $$$ have you made so far / how many LDs/VIPs/whatever have you gotten? Answer: Why do you think that's any of your business? When they start sputtering abt how they were just curious, or whatever piss-ass lame excuse they've got, simply say you find those sorts of questions to be very invasive & see no reason to ask them unless they are looking for trouble. That's my go-to way of handling it, & while it doesn't make me any friends, whoever was dumb enough to ask generally avoided me after that.

    'Stealing regulars' I had this problem come up a few times when I was new at a club & didn't know who was whose regular. I didn't ever let it rattle me, even when one ghetto-ass meth-teethed slag got up in my kool-aid over it in the DR. Handled it the same as that girl you described: 'That customer was sitting alone, I didn't know he was your regular & he didn't tell me to go away.' Same thing if another girl's regular tipped me onstage -- I am not going to let that stop me from going to him after(if I can find him!) & thanking him & offering to come back later if he wants. Obviously don't go trying to poach regulars, but don't allow yourself to be pushed around.

    Once they think they can bend you over a barrel, they will absolutely do so. Stay out of the DR, IME dancers are a lot less likely to get aggressive out on the floor where customers can see them making themselves look bad. Keep to yourself, do your own thing & stand your ground when you know you've done nothing wrong.

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    Default Re: Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

    Well.. Not as worried about what other dancer think of me.. I pretty much realized after my first night that I wasn't going to make any "friends" - and I was already of the mindset that I'm not there to make friends anyway. My concern is mostly keeping within respectful lines and not crossing them (as in not approaching a customer who is already sitting with a girl who might be closing on him, etc..) I also want to just do my best to stay out of the drama. As both of you mentioned - staying out of the DR is probably the #1 way to stay drama-free.. We all have to go back there though from time to time. I like the idea of starting with "Can't complain" - but if they keep pressing me then they obviously aren't getting the picture so I would probably ask them why they think it's their business... I doubt most people have a good answer for that ;-)
    So here's a scenario.. I see a guy sitting at the stage having a drink while one of the girls is dancing - making tip rounds - I sit down and talk to him - ask him if he's having fun - he smiles and seems interested in talking to me. As soon as I start talking to him - the girl onstage comes over and dances for him (and me *lol*) and then leans down and says "I'll be right back after I finish my set..!" The way she spoke and the customer's body language indicated that she was hustling him before it was her turn to go on stage. She looks at me right as she says this to him and kinda nods at me - like she's trying to tell me that that was her hustle before her set. I talked to the guy for another minute or 2 and then told him it was really nice to meet him and that maybe I'd see him around later - then I went and sat down with some guy at a table who was alone and started working him. When I walked away from the guy at the stage he looked confused. So obviously I could've hustled him and I might have gotten some shit from the other dancer - but bottom line - this was another one of my first night mistakes and definitely a rookie mistake. I could've hustled him and if the guy at the table was alone afterward - I could've hustled him too (because I did take HIM back to the booth..) So this would've been alright though going under the "fair game" assumption right..? After all - if that guy at the stage was waiting for her - he wouldn't take a walk with me. So then there would be nothing disrespectful about that.. I'm just going over shit in my head. I wont be in shape to dance for a few months - I just had a kid - but this club is gonna be different... (They all are..) I just want to go in - do my job - not step on anyone's toes (in a way that's disrespectful) - and stay the fuck out of the drama (while spending as little time in the DR as possible since that's where most of it goes off anyway...) I guess part of me is a little nervous because I'm gonna have to bust my ass to get in shape - I like doing lots of pole work on stage and I need to get my mojo back since being away from it for a minute.. The manager of the club I'm looking at now just called me tonight and he wants me to go in tomorrow but I told him I wont be ready for a few months - I told him I might drop by before then with one of my girlfriends to check out the place - see what's up - and he seemed to like that.. I have a few other questions I was going to ask but I'm so tired and I've had such a shit day - I can't even think - but I'll definitely add them to this thread when I do. Thank you for your responses - and any additional tips/advice is more than welcome. It's been less than a year since I worked - but it feels like an eternity for some reason.. lol.

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    Default Re: Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

    ^^^^ the scenario you're describing -- it's really inappropriate to hustle a customer who is sitting at another girl's stage. Tip-walk/thank-you rounds is one thing -- you're there for a min, 90sec tops -- but there's a girl performing right in front of him, & trying to hustle him right then & there IS stepping on her toes. When I go to leave, if the guy appears interested, I let him know politely that it would be rude for me to stay & distract him from the girl who is busting her ass onstage to entertain him, & we should relocate, after he tips the girl onstage of course. It's diplomatic for him & for the girl onstage.

    She may still get pissy, but as I see it, I let him know upfront that I am trying my damnedest to not intrude on the other girl's efforts. If he still comes away w/ me, well, I have no control over his degree of interest in me vs another girl.

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    Default Re: Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

    Yea.. Well - when I saw the guy at the stage - the girl who was dancing was at the other end of the stage - so I guess I thought he was fair game. When she saw me talking to him she came over and danced in front of him (us) and once she was about to stand up she leaned forward and said to him that she'd be back for him after her set (and like I said - from both their body languages it seemed like she was hustling him before she got on stage. Hell - she probably asked him to come up and watch he dance on stage...) When her and I made eye contact - she wasn't rude at all - it was like a silent understanding - she spoke to the customer loud enough for me to hear and when she made eye contact with me she kind of gave me a nod - so to be polite I talked to him casually and then wished him well and go up to move on to the next guy who wasn't sitting by the stage (or with anyone) - so then I made a good decision after all..? Well that makes me feel better. I realize that in the club everyone is out for themselves - and everyone wants to make as much money as they can - but I definitely want to maintain a level of respect (especially for people who have been working there before me..) I would want to be treated with the same level of respect - and we all know that doesn't always happen - but if that's the case for me - then I have a legit complaint and therefor have a reason to stand up for myself... Right..? ;-)

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    Default Re: Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

    I think you did make the best decision by walking away from that customer.

    I had a customer get up from stage once, & decide he wanted dances from me right then. I hadn't interacted w/ him at all, don't remember if he had previously tipped me, all I did was walk across the room. Was just on my way to the DR. I found it awkward bc the girl onstage was trying to hustle him & he just got up & grabbed my hand & said 'Let's go, I want dances from you!' but I took him & got dances anyway. In the moment I just kinda went w/ it but felt bad while dancing for him, just bc I found it so disrespectful. That girl was PISSED OFF when I saw her later & tried to start a fight over it. I wasn't afraid of her -- just wary bc she was a loose cannon -- but in retrospect I should have stressed to him that he needed to show his appreciation for the dancer on stage b4 we took off together.

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    Default Re: Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

    Girl, you are way over-thinking this. Stripping isn't a complicated mess of unwritten rules. As long as you follow the main ones: don't approach someone who already has a dancer sitting with them (this sort of extends to approaching customers at the stage as Aniela pointed out, but it really depends on club culture because we hustle customers sitting at the stage all the time at my club -- they're just usually there to sit and watch the free show so they tend to be a waste of time though!) and keep to yourself, you will be fine. Everything else is sort of common sense and figuring out your club culture and how things specifically work there.

    As long as you follow the two big ones, everything else sort of flows from there. So, if you see a customer is technically sitting alone but has a second drink or a purse with him? He's probably sitting with a dancer and she stepped away for a moment but indicated that she's sitting there, so avoid.

    The best way to get respect in the club is to keep to yourself and focus on the money. Don't get swept up in trying to earn or get treated with respect by your fellow dancers because it doesn't matter. All you want is for them to stay out of your way while you're making money.

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    Default Re: Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

    Yep.. I know you're right. I guess I'm just psyching myself out (when I'm just trying to psych myself up again) after being away from it for almost a year. There's always gonna be a crazy bitch or 2 - I'll just deal with it as it comes. The worst thing I can forget is to have fun with it!! After all - it's fun seducing men and taking their money for it. As long as I remember that and keep to myself and keep my eye on the cash - I should be alright. I just hate being "That new girl" lolol ��

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    Default Re: Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

    Maybe it's just me but I've never worked at a club where I walked in and expected anyone to be my friend. I've never disclosed how much I'm making and I've never attempted to engage any other dancers in conversation. You are not there for your coworkers. They just get in the way, in my opinion.

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    Default Re: Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

    I've never expected anyone to be my friend - I guess my thing is that I just want to do my job and stay out of drama. The last place I was working at - the new girls were always the fall guys. Anytime some dumb shit went down - or something got fucked up somewhere in the club - the other dancers would always throw blame at the new girl. I found myself having to stand my ground more than a couple of times saying "I didn't do it!" (Or if I did) "Well nobody told me! How the fuck am I supposed to know....?!?" I'm not afraid of anyone - just tired. I just had a baby and I already got another kid - it's draining sometimes.. The last thing I want to have to do is deal with a bunch of overgrown kids who behave worse than mine! lol. Like Shanna said I just have to keep my head out of all that shit and stay focused - and like Aniela said - keep the hustle going without stepping on toes. It'll be alright. What I really got to worry about right now is losing the baby weight and getting back into my pole work (because I love doing pole work on stage.) I know stage isn't where the money is - but I have fun with it - plus like someone mentioned in another thread - putting on a good show is one way to hustle dances right from the stage. ;-)

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    Default Re: Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

    You're paying way too much attention to the other dancers imo. Forget the other dancers and just worry about the customers. I've worked in clubs where I never spoke to any other dancer at all...that's actually how I prefer it. Sooner or later you'll probably step on someone's toes as it's just the nature of the business. At that point you can professionally and politely apologize for the misunderstanding, learn from it and move on. Just don't let the other girls bully you--and again the best to avoid being bullied is to stay away from the other girls. Don't get involved in their bullshit.

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    Default Re: Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

    FOCUS ( on the customers ). Just be quiet / courteous to the other girls.
    The customers will catch a vibe you seem distracted if you can't bring the focus back to them.

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    Default Re: Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

    I did have a few nights where I couldn't get out of my head and I could tell the customers noticed. I really liked the thread about being a money magnet and the law of attraction. I figure that if I ever get overwhelmed about being in a new place again - just put myself "in the vortex" and ignore anyone who isn't hustle material... Except maybe the manager.. lol.. It's only been a year since I've been away from the club - I don't know why it feels like it's been longer. I wonder if I might have a little stress on top of everything else because I just had a baby and I'm seriously going to have to bust ass to get back in shape because While it could be a lot worse - I didn't exercise much while I was pregnant. ��

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    Default Re: Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

    If anyone asks I tell them "None of your fucking business". I have no qualms telling someone off if they invade my space.
    If you want to do polework to get in shape, great. But usually the only way to make serious money from it is at an urban club. Very few customers IME pay attention.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

    ^^YES!!^^ I love doing pole shows! And in the club I used to work out of most people didn't pay real close attention. It was a rock n roll titty bar. The place I'm probably going to end up working at is VERY urban - and I know a few peolple around the way who either promote or (one guy) who has an uncle that works there. I was asking him some questions about the place.. He said the girls are decent and when I asked if they pole he said yes with NO hesitation.. So.. That made me happy.. Too bad only one stage and one pole. No spinning either - but that's fine. When I start practicing again I planned on going back to static for a while. And yea - if people get nosy with me I might nicely tell them "Can't complain" - but if people are gonna be pushy about it - I'll get pushy back. It's true.. I hate to get aggressive when I'm trying to stay "in the vortex" (love that phrase) - but nice girls finish last - and I have seen it happen - I won't be anyone's doormat! I did notice that with other girls - and it looks like a hole that's hard to dig yourself out of. Thank goodness for this forum. I like hearing what people have to say - even if it's something I don't want to hear or admit - people listen to this shit!! This isn't my first time dancing - but I'm no vet. I'm going back after almost a year and I feel like I've learned more from the women on this forum than I did when I was working! Even though it's gonna be a few months getting back in shape and picking tracks - choreographing some pole and floor - I was a bit more nervous when I started this thread... Now I'm excitd - and starting to feel fearless again. I hope everyone who's either new, going back - or just has something to learn - I hope they take advantage of this site - and the advice these women have to share. You sure as hell won't get that from ANYONE in the clubs.. <3

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    Default Re: Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

    Lol lol I'll take your old club then. For those SW members who have met me IRL they can vouch that I'm little better on stage than an animated corpse.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

    Oh I believe it! And I'm not too shabby... ;-) The girls used to tell me to stop working so hard - hat I was gonna make them have to work. "Slow it down!" They'd say... But I just can't help it. I wanted to strut like Felix ;-) One time the club was almost dead - I danced to "Cat People" by David Bowie.. I had just enough drinks in me to make me loose and inspired and "natural" - I didn't care that there was nobody sitting by the stage - this was MY time! *hee hee* And I would be as crazy as I wanted to be! So I put on a show. I strutted, did lots of pole - some floor work - stepped in time with the music - stops and stalls - I danced my heart out not caring if one person tiped me. The girls wh were on the floor with customers stopped and watched.. I could tell they were a little impressed - most of them didn't use the pole. When the song was over some peoe had gotten u and put some ones on stage on their way to the bar - but this Puerto Rican gentleman - in maybe his 50's - he walked over and smiled at me and handed me a 5 dollar bill. I smiled and took it happily (not expecting it) and he nodded at me and headed toward the bar. That made me feel good. :-) I felt like I put on a performance and some peoe actually appreciated it. Even the girls were nodding their hands and smiling. That was a moment for me there. In a place where so many didn't care. I was in rare form though.. I hope someday Tempest666 we meet - and I can pole with you! I bet you're awesome...I love to throw down! I'd certainly tip you well on stage anyway! ;-)

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    Default Re: Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

    I'm going to be facing "the new girl" dilemma once more in a few days despite I'm far from new (hello, X-games are coming soon so I'll better start applying to work now). I'll laugh in the face if any dancer starts acting like of those shrews the OP encountered. It'll be funnier if said "veteran" had been dancing for, like, two or three years.





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    Default Re: Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

    Haha! Said vet - don't know how long total - but 3 years at that club.. lol.. Good luck at your new club - doesn't sound like you'll need it though! ;-)

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    Default Re: Being the new girl... Again.. :-/

    I think most of you girls nailed the question. Do not let other girls harass you, but be respectful to your coworkers. This is a job, work, career, whatever you want to call it and everyone should act like adults and be respectful just like you would as a high-end business executive. Customers do not want to hear drama it ruins the time they are having, and they are only there to have a good time. Regs come and go. A club may have permanent regs but you never will, unless you are very lucky, so if your go to guy moves on be understanding that he is just looking for something new. If you are really diplomatic maybe tell his new gal a few tips to help her ease into a lucrative situation with him. Being helpful and respectful to the other girls and customers at work is key, karma is a bitch, so treat people kindly and it will pay off. I've watched girls lose their jobs at clubs permanently for fighting over silly drama like regs or bullying so many times. We are not middle school aged anymore, act like it. Good luck hustling girls!

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    Last Post: 07-16-2004, 11:54 AM

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