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Thread: Dating a Dancer

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    Default Dating a Dancer

    First, I apologize if this has already been talked about somewhere else but I need some advice. I was at a club a few weeks ago and I met a dancer who I had a lot in common with, we had the same major in college and it just so happened she knew dances such as the waltz and mambo...which I've wanted to learn for a number of years. I've had a couple of lessons and we get along great and I would really love to ask her out. Here is the problem: I don't want her to think I am asking her out simply because she's an exotic dancer and I am also worried about her saying yes simply to keep a customer (referring to the waltzing lessons). I don't know, maybe she's just doing a hustle, but she seems really sweet and I would be a good boyfriend. So, what do i do?

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    Default Re: Dating a Dancer

    are you lightening?

    f not, don't expect much

    . Her job is to pick up on your experiences and interest and reflect them and magnify them back to you. I'm not saying she's lying to you, but her job as an entertainer is to make you feel like you've reached the best connection in your life

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    God/dess Jay12's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dating a Dancer

    Please, don't do it. Most likely, she'll say no. We dancers don't like to date customers.





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    Default Re: Dating a Dancer

    I've only been a customer for her once, the other times we've seen each other it's been as a student for ballroom dancing lessons.

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    Veteran Member DreamsInDigital's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dating a Dancer

    Maybe try offering your phone number so that she can "text you her schedule" if she wants? If she really sees you as potential boyfriend material, she will use it for more than that. If all you ever actually get is her schedule or texts while she's at work (or even nothing at all), then you know what's up.

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    Default Re: Dating a Dancer

    She already has my number...in fact we've texted quite a bit...we mostly talk about our dancing lessons.

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    Default Re: Dating a Dancer

    She's already been seeing you OTC to give you ballroom dancing lessons? Where, and for how much? And she also sells you dances ITC?

    Seems like she already likes and trusts you more than we usually like and trust our customers. You might actually have a shot if you don't act desperate/creepy, and you give things time to develop.

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    Default Re: Dating a Dancer

    Well, it's actually kind of a funny story...I met her when she was at work and got a private VIP...she didn't even take anything off, we just talked. She gave me her number and we met the next day at a park. It was about $60 for forty-five minutes. I haven't gotten any more dances from her since and I haven't gone to any clubs.

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    Default Re: Dating a Dancer

    How hilarious... I used teach ballroom myself, and that's where I met my other half. I was his student initially... I'm the expert on this one!

    This has veered out of normal stripper territory, so I'm going to go against my normal grain of "don't ask dancers out", but this is now in yet another murky area... 'dating your students'.

    Obviously she thinks you're not creepy, since she met you OTC to give you lessons. You can certainly ask her out. However, be conscious of how it comes off and what you do after. My fiancé had one girl that was coughing up $75/hr for lessons just to scam on him, which was very creepy. You don't want her to think that's what you're doing. I've had students who asked me out and when I said no, wanted to remain in my classes, which was uncomfortable for me; be aware that she'll probably stop teaching you if she says no. Trust me; we do NOT keep students who ask us out. It's not worth the ensuing awkwardness.

    I would suggest just casually asking her for drinks after a lesson or something, and tread carefully.
    Also, you are getting a smoking deal on those lessons!
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: Dating a Dancer

    There was only one customer of mine that I was genuinely interested in on a romantic level. I asked him out, and not as a stripper/customer arrangement. I asked him if he wanted to hang out with me one on one and just do whatever. I wasnt gonna charge him for my time or ask for money. From experience and from seeing others dancers date custies, if a stripper wont hang out with you for free then she is not genuinely interested. I dont feel like this dancer is the real deal for you, I think she just wants money out of you and is using the dancing lessons as a means to get it. That is my honest opinion of your situation.

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    Default Re: Dating a Dancer

    I have been working for a year and in that time I have liked a couple of guys in a genuine way. I would have gone for otc coffee without expecting to be paid.

    BUT the tricky thing is I wouldn't want to have to talk about my job or give out my real name straight off the bat. And large parts of the back story are fabricated.

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    Default Re: Dating a Dancer

    Oops replied without first reading other posts.

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    Default Re: Dating a Dancer

    Aww this is like a movie. Just don't get over anxious and just be nice. Hope it works out

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    Default Re: Dating a Dancer



    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: Dating a Dancer

    I dated a dancer once but we didn't meet in a club, we met at her day job. I think it would be much tougher to start a relationship after you were a client. But dancers are just people like anyone else so the best of luck to both of you.

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    Default Re: Dating a Dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by dokturok View Post
    I don't know, maybe she's just doing a hustle, but she seems really sweet and I would be a good boyfriend. So, what do i do?
    I think you've gotten fine advice above. Maybe the one thing I'd say is, you might be thinking about the playoffs instead of your next game. Where'd the boyfriend thing come from? You don't even have the slightest idea if she actually likes you yet! I've made a handful of "real" outside-the-club relationships with strippers, and they tended to grow organically, sometimes ending in party-buddies, sometimes in friends-with-benefits, never really sure where things are going to go. Given the ambiguity of the situation, I think it's both wiser and healthier (emotionally) to just go out (assuming she accepts) with no expectations of being her boyfriend next week (or ever), and just see where things go. Regardless of where you end up, you'll enjoy the ride unless you have unreasonable expectations, in which case it will be miserable. Ending up just friends with a woman whose company you enjoy and with whom you have shared interests can be a pretty great outcome, too
    Last edited by Radius; 05-21-2015 at 08:18 AM.

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