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Thread: Feeling Anxious and Down Right Annoyed

  1. #1
    Senior Member SarahM91's Avatar
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    Default Feeling Anxious and Down Right Annoyed

    Hey ladies,
    I just need a moment to vent about something I know we all experience. Starting tonight, I'm going to ignore men (regulars or guys that I've met once) who don't spend money on me, or spend but eventually expect me to meet them outside of my club. It seems like all of my regulars are trying to get me to meet them outside of work. I wish men understood that it's my job to make them feel important, to make them believe that I really am into them. It's not even just my regulars acting this way, but men I've seen maybe a couple times who ACTUALLY think I like them. I'm worried I'll loose money if I start being a bitch but I see no other way of making my feelings known. I am there JUST TO MAKE MONEY. That is IT.

    It literally makes my job so stressful trying to maintain a work relationship with them so I still make some money, but I'm realizing it's not worth it. It's so exhausting. As soon as you imply that we should get together at some point, I'm going to walk away. I don't care if you pay your measly $40 to me or buy me drinks until I'm buzzed - neither pay the bills.

    It use to be funny how dumb guys are, but now it's just sad and angering. I just feel so uneasy on the inside and upset. I feel taken advantage of, I guess. Not even sure if what I've shared here makes sense. I'm just fed up...

    S

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    Default Re: Feeling Anxious and Down Right Annoyed

    Ignoring non spenders is definitely the way to go in this business.

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    Featured Member kaninchen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling Anxious and Down Right Annoyed

    Quote Originally Posted by SarahM91 View Post
    I wish men understood that it's my job to make them feel important, to make them believe that I really am into them. It's not even just my regulars acting this way, but men I've seen maybe a couple times who ACTUALLY think I like them.
    Yep. This is probably one of the most universal stripper problems. In my opinion it's the result of serious naivety and male privilege -- restaurant customers rarely think that their server is bringing them food for the fun of it, but tons of club customers will think, "She must really like me!" If anything, be pleased that you're a convincing actress. Otherwise, accept that it's an occupational hazard and carry on.

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    Default Re: Feeling Anxious and Down Right Annoyed

    Not all customers are like that though some of them are clueless or timewasters. And you have to develop the skill to sift through the bullshit.

    Like kaninchen mentioned the naive / privilege part - some don't realize this is Entertainment. Its just for occasional fun, not reality that could happen everyday. And anywhere you go to be entertained, you will have to pay something. Nothing is free in life except air and water - and even that cost money. So yeah if you gotta be a bitch to get your money then do just that. Me I like to stay friendly yet professional (meaning time is money and I refuse to waste it with anyone broke or cheap). Charity is 2 blocks right around the corner.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: Feeling Anxious and Down Right Annoyed

    Quote Originally Posted by SarahM91 View Post
    Hey ladies,
    I just need a moment to vent about something I know we all experience. Starting tonight, I'm going to ignore men (regulars or guys that I've met once) who don't spend money on me, or spend but eventually expect me to meet them outside of my club. It seems like all of my regulars are trying to get me to meet them outside of work. I wish men understood that it's my job to make them feel important, to make them believe that I really am into them. It's not even just my regulars acting this way, but men I've seen maybe a couple times who ACTUALLY think I like them. I'm worried I'll loose money if I start being a bitch but I see no other way of making my feelings known. I am there JUST TO MAKE MONEY. That is IT.

    It literally makes my job so stressful trying to maintain a work relationship with them so I still make some money, but I'm realizing it's not worth it. It's so exhausting. As soon as you imply that we should get together at some point, I'm going to walk away. I don't care if you pay your measly $40 to me or buy me drinks until I'm buzzed - neither pay the bills.

    It use to be funny how dumb guys are, but now it's just sad and angering. I just feel so uneasy on the inside and upset. I feel taken advantage of, I guess. Not even sure if what I've shared here makes sense. I'm just fed up...

    S
    I've taken the attitude that I will say whatever and keep the possibility open, even to the point of giving a fake number if they insist on arrogantly holding the sale/payment hostage to their delusional bullshit. I gave out fake numbers last night and gave 0 fucks about it. I have no pity for some childish coercive bullshit like that. How pathetic is the ma who comes to your job and says he'll only buy/pay if you'll see him later. Who the f*ck would trust a dirtbag capable of doing that.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: Feeling Anxious and Down Right Annoyed

    Don't ignore them, just ask them for money/dances as part of your greeting. For instance, "It's good to see you again, are you ready to go back with me to VIP?"
    Of course they will stall or try to get you to agree to devalue your time in other ways (offer drinks etc.). You can throw the club under the bus to escape them by saying something like needing to reach dance sales quota or something similar.

    If you've already been drawn into a non-paying conversation, to escape just pipe up with, "Ok, break time is over. I've got to get back to work...So, do you wanna go for some dances?"

    As a side note, it sounds like you are getting burned out at work. Try to spend some time on yourself to rejuvenate your body and spirit. This job is very draining, you really need to take some personal time to keep yourself from becoming totally burned out. Take care of you first!

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  13. #7
    Senior Member SarahM91's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling Anxious and Down Right Annoyed

    Thank you everyone for your input.

    I'm just stressed out because I hate being a bitch unless I absolutely have to be one. I NEED to say so-long to these time wasters. I just can't wait to get them off my back and be able to enjoy working again without feeling obligated to say hi. I think I'm feeling the way that I do because I've allowed them to accumulate when I know better.

    I go into work on Tuesday if not sooner! I start then.

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling Anxious and Down Right Annoyed

    I'll chat with these kind of regulars for a few songs, but then I say "Okay I need to make the rounds unless you want dances". They either put up or shut up. The shelf life of my regulars is generally only 3-4 visits at this point because I have no patience with them wasting my time when the club is busy, or expecting me to chat with them just because it's dead (when really I'd rather be reading a book or on my phone).
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: Feeling Anxious and Down Right Annoyed

    There's this one guy that comes into my club every week that has his fave girls & I recently have started talking to him out of sheer boredom , and believe it or not sometimes I'll walk away with $30 just from saying hi & flirting for maybe 5 mins tops. I started doing this bc it's better that I walk away with $10-$30 versus zero when there's no one else in the club. He's VERY annoying , always asking me to go to his apt with him, etc but I always just smile & say "well if you pay me for my time tonight , i might consider it, but I'll need MY hotel money, phone bill money, etc whatever before further entertaining the idea. I usually have to act fast bc all of the dancers working that night usually end up swarming him & taking more than I end up getting but they're prob actually giving him what he wants instead of just teasing him like I do.
    "Alot of people are afraid to say what they want, that's why they don't get what they want"~ Madonna




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