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Thread: Turning down dates without losing business?

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    Default Turning down dates without losing business?

    We all have those clients. The ones who spend decent money at the club, so you give them your number to continue dat cash flow. Suddenly, it's "when can I take you to dinner" and all that nonsense. How can I decline dates and continue to bring in the client?

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: Turning down dates without losing business?

    Long story short: you can't. Some customers have OTC as their end game: they'll play ITC for a while but they will stop once it's clear you won't deliver. Your best bet to draw it out is to play the busy card, where the only free time you have is in the club. You could also say you've been burned before or that you really want to get to know them before going out on a date.

    With those whose end game isn't necessarily OTC, you can be upfront and say that you don't do that because you're simply more comfortable in the club, but you really have to get a good read on the customer because if you misread, this could cause them to drop you right away. I've only had luck with this a handful of times, but these are always my favourite customers because they get the scene, enjoy spending time with me, and appreciate my candour enough to keep coming to see me despite not getting OTC. Few and far between though!

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    God/dess arielbriel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Turning down dates without losing business?

    I always tell them I'm too busy with school and work to go OTC but if they would like to have dinner with me, we have a perfectly good steakhouse in the club.

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Turning down dates without losing business?

    I tend to just ignore the request... if there was another question in the text, I'll answer that and skip the OTC issue, otherwise I just don't answer. Usually they'll still come back a few times but shanna is right, they will eventually stop seeing you since they want something you don't do.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: Turning down dates without losing business?

    Sometimes I pretend like they're saying they want to go out on a date with me as a fantasy, not as a reality. This works maybe 25% of the time, usually on the more shy guys. So I'll indulge in their fantasy. "Yes! Where would we go on our date? Describe it to me..." (This usually comes up while I'm dancing for them, so I keep dancing and pretend to get really into their 'fantasy date' idea).

    My other go-tos were mentioned by shanna dior. I've never used the "busy" card since I find that excuse to be the least believable. I play the "I've been burned before" card, or the "I have to get to know you better first - it's a dangerous world out there" card. Some guys will be very offended by your indirect suggestion that they might harm you, so watch out for that. Maybe try something more along the lines of "It's my personal policy to get to know a guy before I meet up with him outside of the club...I've been burned before, and it takes time to earn my trust."

    That said, this is usually the beginning of the end for regulars and general customers. If they aren't a regular and they're already bringing this up, then they probably have 0 regular potential. If this is a regular asking you on a date, they're indicating that they're near the end of their patience for not being able to 'have' you. "Every regular has an expiration date." Sometimes you can string a regular along for years with him still spending money on you and talking about going on a date, and sometimes things fizzle out after a single dance. Your goal is to play them without openly lying to them. "Will you wait for me to become comfortable enough first?" Never say "Come see me three more times, and then we'll go out" or anything like that. Aim for vague and positive.

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    Default Re: Turning down dates without losing business?

    I've had so called dancer "friends" from the club that would always have regulars & end up going to dinner with these guys often in hopes of a fast buck and it would gross me out as well as irritate the hell out of me. I don't understand why any dancer would have to feel as if she "had" to go on the OTC dates with these creeps. Makes no sense. I had a regular when I was a baby stripper at 19 and I sure nipped that one on the bud real quick once he popped the question about going OTC. Needless to say , he stopped coming in & giving me money or gifts, which was fine with me. I find that dancers who do this on a regular basis seem desperate for money.
    "Alot of people are afraid to say what they want, that's why they don't get what they want"~ Madonna




    "Respect is a dying art"

    "Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box"


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    Default Re: Turning down dates without losing business?

    My response is: "That sounds lovely! I charge $600/ hr with a 2 hour minimum. $2500 for 8 hours if you'd like to go on a day trip. Just to be clear, this is just for my time and company. I don't have sex for money."

    They key to not getting asked out on dates, is to always be hustling. Don't let more than a few minutes go by without suggesting he buy something (drinks, dances, VIP room, tipping,). This reminds him that you are working and that the relationship is transactional. That way, when/if he does ask you out, the answer won't shock him that your time costs money.

    An alternate response (I don't like doing this, too much trouble, but it works well for a lot of girls), is to ask him to take you on a shopping spree at high end department stores (Nordstrom's is a good one since they have a no questions asked return policy). Make sure to let him know what you want to buy by showing him images on your phone. Select a few designer items like shoes or handbags that have price tags at over $1000. That'll let him know what it's gonna take to get you out of the club.

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    Default Re: Turning down dates without losing business?

    I told one guy I'd go to dinner with him if he bought me a live mosasaurus. Bless his heart, he was looking on Craigslist.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: Turning down dates without losing business?

    This is a hard one, I would normally cut my losses and mentally put the customer in the 'too hard basket". I have been known to say lines like "okay babe, sounds good but I need to get to know you better first" and then try to take them for a few more dances and 'get to know each other better'. I inwardly roll my eyes when customers try tot ask me to meet them outside the club. I find guys like this loose interest quick, if they think its not going to happen, they're usually happy to move onto asking the next dancer to meet up out outside the club. Annoying.
    I only met customers outside the club when I was a really young inexperienced dancer, and didn't know what my boundaries were. I had a couple bad experiences with guys not giving me the proper amount of money we had agreed on, or trying to not give me any money at all, and since then Im not interested in all the 'outside the club' bullshit. Too risky, not worth it.

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