Fine, I don't actually suck. But the other night I was late to go on stage (I thought they had skipped me because I was in a booth), and I realized from small remarks that one of the bouncers was making that it's known that, well, idk, that I'm a total noob.
I make money - I made about $500 that night. But I guess I'm just trying to deal with the fact that everyone probably thinks I'm a fucking idiot. Because last time I danced, during my last break, I did a lot of noob things as well (i.e. late to go on stage, thought I could pay the girls on the smaller stages to stay on and skip my turn so I could go to a private room, and just generally not been the best dancer I guess). I'm just really embarassed I guess, and I feel like I don't learn as fast as the other girls who come here and make a lot their first night. I know that slowly I will become a skilled stripper if I keep at it. I've already gotten much better at giving lap dances, I have a better looking body this time around, I've been practicing doing my make-up, and on and on. I have been trying! I just hate being that personand I guess I'm beating myself up a lot about this.



and I guess I'm beating myself up a lot about this.
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