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Thread: Beating Myself Up - I Suck!

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    Newbie princesschantelle's Avatar
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    Duh Beating Myself Up - I Suck!

    Fine, I don't actually suck. But the other night I was late to go on stage (I thought they had skipped me because I was in a booth), and I realized from small remarks that one of the bouncers was making that it's known that, well, idk, that I'm a total noob.

    I make money - I made about $500 that night. But I guess I'm just trying to deal with the fact that everyone probably thinks I'm a fucking idiot. Because last time I danced, during my last break, I did a lot of noob things as well (i.e. late to go on stage, thought I could pay the girls on the smaller stages to stay on and skip my turn so I could go to a private room, and just generally not been the best dancer I guess). I'm just really embarassed I guess, and I feel like I don't learn as fast as the other girls who come here and make a lot their first night. I know that slowly I will become a skilled stripper if I keep at it. I've already gotten much better at giving lap dances, I have a better looking body this time around, I've been practicing doing my make-up, and on and on. I have been trying! I just hate being that person and I guess I'm beating myself up a lot about this.

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    Veteran Member HoolaTwister's Avatar
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    Default Re: Beating Myself Up - I Suck!

    Ignore the small talk, work hard, hustle, keep improving....you will be fine

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: Beating Myself Up - I Suck!

    Nobody's perfect and people make mistakes especially when new. Nothing you can't bounce back from.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: Beating Myself Up - I Suck!

    Every one was new once, it doesn't last forever .
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

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    Featured Member Tourdefranzia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Beating Myself Up - I Suck!

    It's not like you graduated with a 4.0 from stripper school. Most of the stuff about being a stripper just has to be learned as you do it. And who cares if you annoyed some of the people you work with? From what you described, it sounds really minor. It's not like you made any huge mistakes, just rookie moves. Just brush yourself off and get back into the club. $500 doesn't suck as far as income goes.

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    Default Re: Beating Myself Up - I Suck!

    I'm more irked that you seem to brush off $500 like it isn't a decent amt, esp when you're new & still have a lot to learn.

    The only other thing you mentioned that I would really have a problem w/ is trying to pay off other girls to continue onstage bc you've got a customer that you don't want to leave. Other girls have customers too, & stage can get exhausting -- this is coming from a girl who loved doing stage sets. That just comes off as really self-absorbed & inconsiderate. But it sounds like you've learnt from that & your other errors.

    Being late to stage -- even when you've got more experience, sm times it still happens. A miscommunication over getting skipped, or getting tied up finishing w/ a customer when you know time is tight for getting to stage, losing track of the rotation bc girls are getting skipped left&right, or simply not hearing your name. I would say that it's only really a problem if it becomes a frequent thing, & w/ practise you will reach the point where you can pick out your name thru all the other unintelligible mess the dj is spouting.

    As far as snide remarks go, IGNORE THEM. Sm times the snark has a legit reason behind it, but ppl will also look for any angle they can get to fk w/ your head & keep you from succeeding. Focus on your own improvement & learning from your errors, don't worry abt any1 else's 'tude.

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    Newbie princesschantelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Beating Myself Up - I Suck!

    Thank you all so much for even reading my bitching, lol. I'm sorry about brushing off the amount of money I made. Sometimes I forget that it's five hundred freakin dollars because a lot of the other dancers tell me they make a lot more. One girl said she made a thousand dollars on her first night. She'd had experience, so that doesn't intimidate me too much, but that's also the story most of the other girls give too. "It's so easy to make $1000 in one night!" is like the motto here -.-

    I do try to keep learning, but damn, sometimes it feels like I'm the only idiot stripper in the club :/
    Last edited by princesschantelle; 06-28-2015 at 09:03 PM.

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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Beating Myself Up - I Suck!

    Quote Originally Posted by princesschantelle View Post
    Thank you all so much for even reading my bitching, lol. I'm sorry about brushing off the amount of money I made. Sometimes I forget that it's five hundred freakin dollars because a lot of the other dancers tell me they make a lot more. One girl said she made a thousand dollars on her first night. She'd had go-go experience and ballet, so that doesn't intimidate me that much, but that's also the story most of the other girls give too. "It's so easy to make $1000 in one night!" is like the motto here -.-

    I do try to keep learning, but damn, sometimes it feels like I'm the only idiot stripper in the club :/
    The fact that you're actually making the effort to improve on your current performance puts you ahead of many, many girls in this industry. :thumbsup

    So what if So&So said she made $1K? 'Said' is the key word, & you have no way of knowing whether that's true or not. Other girls making $X does .... what, for you exactly? Not trying to be snarky here -- this is a genuine thing to think abt. The earnings of other girls shouldn't mean jack shit to you unless those earnings were sm how finding their way into your own pocket. Many girls also exaggerate their earnings, both as a way of making themselves feel better & also to mindfk(intimidate) other girls. Talk is cheap.

    Unfortunately, even if Dancer X DID make $XXXX, there is the question of what she may or may not have done to earn that $$$. It could be as simple as doing extras, or just having well-established regulars(built-up at that club or brought from a previous club), or she could also have a fantastic talent/skill as a salesperson.

    Holding yourself to another girl's alleged income standards nvr serves any positive purpose. It'll drive you crazy if you let it. Focus on your own progress.

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    Default Re: Beating Myself Up - I Suck!

    Duuuude...

    When I just started, I was late to my stage set all the time. I was so overwhelmed with a new atmosphere. And if I wasn't sure that DJ called exactly me, I was running around like crazy, asking girls "Did he call me? Did he call me??!".
    After my first ever topless stage set, I was walking around with no bra, lol, I thought, it's allowed and why not. Until another dancer didn't tell me to get dressed. Then I have realized that I am doing smth wrong. And I was confusing prices on private dances pretty often. And approached customers, sitting on tip rail. Don't even get me started.

    So trust me, you are not the only one, making newbie's mistakes. And yours are not even that serious,anyway.

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    Default Re: Beating Myself Up - I Suck!

    Quote Originally Posted by I_am_out View Post
    Duuuude...

    After my first ever topless stage set, I was walking around with no bra, lol, I thought, it's allowed and why not.
    ^Aw, a friend of mine did that on her 1st night too!

    OP, if it makes you feel any better I have been dancing for many, many, many years and I still do stupid things all the time-lucky I'm blonde! For example, I moved to a new club recently where the manager and DJ told me "The stages are fully nude!!!!!". So, naturally I got fully nude for every stage set...until another dancer was kind enough to point out that they are ONLY fully nude IF we get tipped-whoops !
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

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    Senior Member TearieLeigh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Beating Myself Up - I Suck!

    Ive made a lot of mistakes, fallen off stage, and missed stage many times. It happens to all of us. I know girls who have been dancing for ten plus years and still make rookie mistakes from time to time. You just gotta brush it off and dont sweat it. Plus if your making good money why worry about what people are saying. I got girls who hate me so much and i just walk past with a smile.

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Beating Myself Up - I Suck!

    Haha, I still do stuff like this...especially when I'm starting in a new club and I'm still getting used to the club's flow.

    Acknowledge your mistake, apologize to whomever, let them know you'll try to never let it happen again, and move on. Try to have a sense of humor about it. Roll your eyes at yourself, have a quick laugh, and get back to making money!

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    Default Re: Beating Myself Up - I Suck!

    I wish I made 500 a night. Lol I must be doing something wrong but the most I've ever made was 400. I know it's possible I see girls making 1k or more and I'm here stugging to bring home 2-300

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    Newbie princesschantelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Beating Myself Up - I Suck!

    First of all, I want to thank everyone again for being so sympathetic. I feel like this just emphasizes how much everyone has struggled at one point or another.

    Has there been a thread started where people just list all of the stupidest shit that they've ever done during a shift? Kind of like the subreddit. Is there a thread where people post the worst of the worst so that we can read it and feel better after we've had a fuck-up kind of night? I feel like a thread like that would be really useful to us. Our job is very performance-based, and it can be really stressful whenever anyone messes up a performance.

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Beating Myself Up - I Suck!

    Quote Originally Posted by princesschantelle View Post
    First of all, I want to thank everyone again for being so sympathetic. I feel like this just emphasizes how much everyone has struggled at one point or another.

    Has there been a thread started where people just list all of the stupidest shit that they've ever done during a shift? Kind of like the Today I Fucked Up subreddit. Is there a thread where people post the worst of the worst so that we can read it and feel better after we've had a fuck-up kind of night? I feel like a thread like that would be really useful to us. Our job is very performance-based, and it can be really stressful whenever anyone messes up a performance.
    Oh hellz yes gurlie. This forum is full of our wondrous fuckups. The only difference between newbie messes and veteran messes is that we have the confidence and self-esteem to laugh it off. I know the difference between small mistakes and big mistakes because I have so much experience. I also know when a staff member is trying to make me feel like I've made a big mistake to secure him/herself a larger tipout. Nope. Can't hustle this hustler.

    I'm sure others can think of specific threads...I'm oddly drawing a blank at the moment.

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    Newbie princesschantelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Beating Myself Up - I Suck!

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    The only difference between newbie messes and veteran messes is that we have the confidence and self-esteem to laugh it off. I know the difference between small mistakes and big mistakes because I have so much experience.
    I love that, its so true. Just after one extra week of working this job (since I originally posted), I already feel a lot better about my abilities on stage and otherwise. And please, someone list a thread or two. Is the "My Last Shift" thread where to go?

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    Newbie princesschantelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Beating Myself Up - I Suck!

    Thank you so much!!!

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