Can you have a real relationship with an entertainer? I fell in love with a woman who worked as an entertainer. I thought she was exceptionally kind and beautiful. I asked for her phone number the first night we met. We spoke over the phone, we texted and I visited her at work over the course of a year. I eventually told her about my feelings for her, and she said I was cute and that she liked me. I asked her if she would date me, but she was hesitant: she told me she wasn't so sure about that. We promised to be friends forever. We met went on a few dates outside of work, and she eventually told me she loved me too. She told me that she was busy taking care of her son, and that was why she couldn't see me every day, or that's why she missed my calls or respond to my texts a day or two later. I really loved her and although it frustrated me that I couldn't see or speak to her as often as I wanted, I tried to forgive her for these details and just enjoy those precious moments I did spend with her.
After dating for about 4-5 months, I found out that the address she had given me wasn't where she lived. When I called her to ask for an explanation, she got really upset and called me crazy, and accused me of hallucinating or seeing things that weren't real. She told me she wanted to take a break. I was really in love with her at the time--I believed that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I felt so crushed and heartbroken that I offered to buy her that bag she really wanted if she would just forgive me. I kept trying to get her to give me another chance, but I am pretty sure she blocked my number within a few weeks after dumping me.
I don't know how to get a sense of closure or resolve my feelings about what happened. There are a lot of questions in my head--I don't think she really loved me, but I think part of me hopes it was real. I really want to believe that she is a good person, but I feel like I was just a chump to her the whole time. I guess I'm not sure what I'm looking for by posting this here. I feel sick when I think about what happened. I think I want to know why she did what she did, and who she really is, and what was fake and what was real. But I don't know that I could believe anything she said if I saw her again.
Please, I would appreciate any advice on how to handle a situation like this. I don't want to hurt this person. I'm trying to forgive her, but I am really struggling. I feel as though I don't know anything about her--I don't think she gave me a real first name. I feel a lot of pain because I feel like I lost something truly significant. Sorry if this post is somewhat vague--I didn't want to hurt anyone by providing too much detail. I would really appreciate it if you could be gentle and considerate in your response. I'm still sensitive about what happened.


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