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Thread: Dancing w ATF's friend or find a neutral one?

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    Default Dancing w ATF's friend or find a neutral one?

    I understand most dancers "should" be professional and that I "should" be able to spend freely on whomever, but certain situations aren't always ideal. So the Q is given a choice would you want one of your regulars to dance with one of your friends or dance with a "stranger." On the one hand, are you happy for her that she's making money or is there a small part that thinks she will convert me/him into her regular knowingly or unknowingly? True a "stranger" can convert me/him too, but the different relationship likely won't be as affected.

    I still plan on spending on my fave and maybe its a moot point, I also wanted the opinions on proper etiquette. Thanks for any and all responses.

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancing w ATF's friend or find a neutral one?

    I had a regular who always spent the exact same amount with me each time. Then one day his a$$ decides to dance with another broad, even though he told me he'd dance with me only. Lies. Well this time after he danced with her we spent some time and he only spent like half of what he usually spends. I wanted to kill both of those hoes but I said f*ck it and let them see me make money regardless cause I don't have time for petty games.

    Point is I'm sure she'd be cool as long as you still spend the usual amount with her and hopefully you never told her you'd only dance with her.

    I'm thinking it would be best if you could time it so you sample on a shift you know she's not working. It's probably easier for her if it's not blatant right in her face. Some girls get jealous and possessive over their regulars.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: Dancing w ATF's friend or find a neutral one?

    This situation happened to me where I shared a regular with a friend, but I think this is rare.

    I made a friend at one club I worked and we actually shared a regular lol. He was a good regular and he'd come in and spend the same amount of money and he'd whisper stuff into my ear like I'm the only one that he likes, blablabla. We knew he was full of shit because he'd go to her and spend the same amount and say the same things. He didn't know we were friends.

    He usually would spend money on one of us if the other wasn't there. One time he showed up while we were both working and he went to spend on her and then he came to me and said "WHATEVER YOU SEE ME DOING, JUST IGNORE IT! I'M STILL INTO YOU ONLY!" Hahaha.

    I didn't mind it, she's a good friend of mine and I worked at other clubs and had other regulars etc. He rarely came in when we were both there since we'd let him know where we were. One time we were both in the club and we were chit chatting, and he came in so we pretended not to know each other and sad who wants to go get him.

    I haven't talked to him in over a year. I got a random text from him the other day. I called my friend to say guess who sent me a text. Right after that he calls her phone. The saga continues...

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    Default Re: Dancing w ATF's friend or find a neutral one?

    I don't care.

    When it comes to regulars - out of sight out of mind.

    But if I were to chose I guess I'd prefer if the regular went for a friend because I like my friends to do well.

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    Featured Member gameover's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancing w ATF's friend or find a neutral one?

    Your statement that you "still plan on spending on my fave", makes it sound like you won't be spending the same amount of money on her. I think she'll care a lot more about that, than who you are also getting dances from.

    Frankly, you sound like you are ready for a new ATF, and just don't want to hurt the old one. From what I've seen here, most dancers expect a regular to have a shelf life, so it won't be a shock if you move on.

    When I'm ready for a new ATF, I just start spending less on the current one, and more and more on my new one. That seems the kindest way to move on.

    If you are looking for a new ATF, do you really care if the old one likes her? You should be looking for one that you like. You are the one spending the cash.

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    Default Re: Dancing w ATF's friend or find a neutral one?

    .................................................. ..
    Last edited by amberlly; 09-24-2015 at 07:23 PM.

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    Default Re: Dancing w ATF's friend or find a neutral one?

    I prefere a stranger b/c my friends are usually similar to me in style, personality and hustle and I hate when a regular tells me that he wants her to leave us alone or he won't spend money, or when he tells me to leave b/c now she has replaced me. I've lost 'friends' before b/c a custy chose me over her or b/c of the amount of $ he spent on her decreased. Plus if my friend knows anything about my personal life she may let it slip and then the custy knows about me and can see my dancer persona is a lie, ugh.

    The only issue I've had with a customer spending time and money with a stranger is if she is willing to break the rules, (do what I would consider dirty) and then I lose him or worse, he wastes my time before I know he's moved on and I miss a potential sale to another guy. Either way I agree with the previous posts, if you still plan on spending the same amt on her and nothing changes, it doesn't really matter who else you spend your money on.

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    Default Re: Dancing w ATF's friend or find a neutral one?

    Quote Originally Posted by gameover View Post
    When I'm ready for a new ATF, I just start spending less on the current one, and more and more on my new one. That seems the kindest way to move on.
    If this is the plan, be upfront about it. I'm totally cool with customers moving on and spending less, but don't expect the same level of attention that you've gotten used to. So, if you normally spend 15 minutes chatting on the floor before spending $200, don't just show up one day, let her hang out for 15 minutes, and then only spend $100. Coming from a regular, that's frustrating because you know the game more than the average customer.

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    Default Re: Dancing w ATF's friend or find a neutral one?

    Quote Originally Posted by shanna dior View Post
    If this is the plan, be upfront about it. I'm totally cool with customers moving on and spending less, but don't expect the same level of attention that you've gotten used to. So, if you normally spend 15 minutes chatting on the floor before spending $200, don't just show up one day, let her hang out for 15 minutes, and then only spend $100. Coming from a regular, that's frustrating because you know the game more than the average customer.
    So, you would suggest I just say I'm moving on and cut her off cold turkey, rather than reducing the amount over time? Because by the time I've picked a new ATF, the thrill of spending time/money on the old one is usually over. And any money I'm spending at that point is just to be nice to the old one. I'm not trying to get the same attention from her for less money. I'm trying to be nice while switching to the new one.

    But, if the consensus is to make a quick clean break, that would save me money. It's just that I always feel a little sad/guilty moving on from an ATF. Do you other dancers agree to just make a clean break? Because most seem hurt when I move on and not "totally cool" with it.

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    Default Re: Dancing w ATF's friend or find a neutral one?

    .......................................
    Last edited by amberlly; 09-24-2015 at 07:20 PM.

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    Default Re: Dancing w ATF's friend or find a neutral one?

    Quote Originally Posted by gameover View Post
    So, you would suggest I just say I'm moving on and cut her off cold turkey, rather than reducing the amount over time?
    No, sorry, I guess I didn't explain myself properly. It's totally fine to reduce the amount over time, but I think you should be upfront about it. Don't just slowly reduce and continue to spend the same amount of "free" time on the floor before you go for dances. Temper expectations by telling her that you're going to go for less dances upfront.

    It sounds like you'd really rather just stop seeing this dancer entirely though, so my point is pretty moot. You don't have to spend money just to be nice -- although of course no dancer will ever turn it down. It's your money and you can spend it on whoever you want to, so if you'd rather move on to someone else, just do it.

    To help alleviate your guilty feelings of doing that: as much as some dancers seem "hurt," keep in mind that it's not you they miss -- it's your wallet. Of course they're disappointed to lose a regular stream of income, but they'll get over it and find a new one.

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    Default Re: Dancing w ATF's friend or find a neutral one?

    Quote Originally Posted by shanna dior View Post
    No, sorry, I guess I didn't explain myself properly. It's totally fine to reduce the amount over time, but I think you should be upfront about it. Don't just slowly reduce and continue to spend the same amount of "free" time on the floor before you go for dances. Temper expectations by telling her that you're going to go for less dances upfront.

    It sounds like you'd really rather just stop seeing this dancer entirely though, so my point is pretty moot. You don't have to spend money just to be nice -- although of course no dancer will ever turn it down. It's your money and you can spend it on whoever you want to, so if you'd rather move on to someone else, just do it.

    To help alleviate your guilty feelings of doing that: as much as some dancers seem "hurt," keep in mind that it's not you they miss -- it's your wallet. Of course they're disappointed to lose a regular stream of income, but they'll get over it and find a new one.
    I know it's my wallet they miss, and I think I will try the direct switch from now on. But I think it also hurts their egos a bit when I switch to another dancer, because I have seen a lot of drama in the past in the clubs.

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    Default Re: Dancing w ATF's friend or find a neutral one?

    First and foremost, the club is supposed to be a fun place. I have enough drama and people relying upon me in my real life - I have very little tolerance for more if it in the clubs. I use my money to reward girls who entertain me and stop spending on those who don't, especially those who pull out the ownership card and give me grief for what I do with other girls.

    Each customer has to decide for himself how much drama he is willing to tolerate. I suspect that some guys even like it. But if it is interfering with your fun, then IMHO you are worrying about the wrong thing. IMHO you should buy dances from whomever you want and make it clear to anyone who gives you grief that you will spend your money how you choose.

    If this is really about getting bored with the current favorite, then IMHO the same concepts apply. Every reg/fav thing has a shelf life and most savvy dancers understand this. When this happens to me, I usually let them know that I need a little more variety right now, which usually does the trick. Of course no favorite is happy about losing a customer, but it is what it is.

    Now that doesn't mean that you should be unkind. I am almost always nice in how I manage these things. But if you don't take control of who you spend your time and money with, then others will control it for you and your entertainment will suffer.

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    Default Re: Dancing w ATF's friend or find a neutral one?

    My old bff / room mate and I would share regulars and try to help each other make money. I would rather my customer spend money on my friend than another bitch. But at the end of the day, it's his money. He can do what he wants. I don't get emotionally attached to customers. In fact I get bored with them really quickly. I'll get my money one way or the other and if I lose one regular, another will be along the next day. No big deal.

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