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Thread: How to make up with dancer who might be pissed at me?

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    Default How to make up with dancer who might be pissed at me?

    Hi all, I need advice on something if possible please.
    I was at a certain club near my vacation house, I sat at the front row and there was a really pretty dark-haired dancer on stage. She smiled at me and started talking to me, asking me questions about whether or not it was my first time here, etc. Now I can be shy sometimes but I was really enjoying myself and talking to her, and I was thinking of asking her for a dance.
    Then, towards the end of our conversation, she must have asked me if I wanted a dance. But, the music in the club was VERY loud so I didn't hear clearly what she said. All I heard was "..... dance....". For some stupid reason, I instinctively yelled "NO", even though I would have loved to have a dance from her. She looked shocked, said "ok", and then turned away. When she began dancing, she would acknowledge and smile at all the other customers at the table, but would always ignore me. I tried to tip her a lot, and she would take my money, but she never once again smiled at me or talked to me. In fact, she would purposefully flirt with the two guy next to me for long periods of time, even though they weren't tipping, and ignore me. Man it just felt terrible.
    I wanted to explain to her the situation and tell her I didn't mean to offend her, but I just can't find the words for it. I'm thinking of going to the club again this week. How should I apologize to her? Because honestly I find her very attractive and she was the first girl at the club to talk to me, and what happened that night really left a bad taste in my mouth and I want to fix it.

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    Default Re: How to make up with dancer who might be pissed at me?

    Lol all you have to do is buy a dance. Stop over thinking.

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    Default Re: How to make up with dancer who might be pissed at me?

    I will but I hope she doesn't refuse me because I offended her.

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    Default Re: How to make up with dancer who might be pissed at me?

    No dancer is offended by money for a lapdance.

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    Default Re: How to make up with dancer who might be pissed at me?

    The sudden yelling probably drove her off more than the refusal itself. I know when I would have an interaction w/ a customer that I thought was going decently well, a sudden loud, forceful response would have me like 'WTF?' Just go back in & explain the error, if loudness in the club is a chronic problem (I have worked in many where it was) then she should understand.

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    Default Re: How to make up with dancer who might be pissed at me?

    It's nothing to feel bad about, you were probably not the only person to say "no" to her or even be rude to her that night (I'm assuming you feel that way because you yelled your response). If you visit the club again, then ask her for a dance (chances are that she may not even remember you and if she does, at least you can explain what happened for your own peace of mind and enjoy your lap dance).
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

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    Default Re: How to make up with dancer who might be pissed at me?

    Zab, getting a VIP will solve all your problems. And the noise level should be lower so you can explain to her what happened. You'll most likely laugh about it.

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    Default Re: How to make up with dancer who might be pissed at me?

    You should definitely take her to VIP next time so that she is absolutely clear about your level of sorryness and appreciation.

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    Default Re: How to make up with dancer who might be pissed at me?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    The sudden yelling probably drove her off more than the refusal itself. I know when I would have an interaction w/ a customer that I thought was going decently well, a sudden loud, forceful response would have me like 'WTF?' Just go back in & explain the error, if loudness in the club is a chronic problem (I have worked in many where it was) then she should understand.
    Yep I think you're right that me suddenly yelling "No" was probably what scared her. (Still have no idea why tf I did that). I think I'll ask for a VIP first like the rest of you said and then once we're in there I'll tell her that she's super hot and that I didn't hear her clearly the 1st time, and that when I said "No" I actually meant "Yeeeees pleeeeese" xD.

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    Default Re: How to make up with dancer who might be pissed at me?

    Also, it's ok to say you didn't hear what she said and ask her to repeat the question. We know the club is loud. We are used to repeating ourselves.

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    Default Re: How to make up with dancer who might be pissed at me?

    Just find another dancer....don't go to clubs worrying about offending anyone. If you behave in a respectful manner and a dancer gets offended because you told her no one night...move on, There are a lot more dancers in the club and the world!

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    Default Re: How to make up with dancer who might be pissed at me?

    Quote Originally Posted by JDD View Post
    Just find another dancer....don't go to clubs worrying about offending anyone. If you behave in a respectful manner and a dancer gets offended because you told her no one night...move on, There are a lot more dancers in the club and the world!
    I dont, but wanted to clear up the misunderstanding with her.

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    Default Re: How to make up with dancer who might be pissed at me?

    Quote Originally Posted by lurkingtitties View Post
    You should definitely take her to VIP next time so that she is absolutely clear about your level of sorryness and appreciation.
    Lol I did this earlier tonight and it worked like a charm She was actually a little bit apologetic but it's all good between us now and we had a great convo. Thanks again to all who helped.

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    Default Re: How to make up with dancer who might be pissed at me?

    It is nice you wanted to be a good guy and made up to her, but be on your guard. I have learned the hard way some dancers will use emotional blackmail and play guilt trip games to squeeze as much money out of you. And reading other posts it looks like it worked. Instead of getting just a dance from you she got a VIP, more money. I use to fall for this stuff too till I decided to apply the principles of behavioral psychology to strip clubs. We teach people how to treat us. Just think about this for a minute your teaching the girl that getting pissed off at you will make her more money. Expect in the future more fights, guilt trips, emotional blackmail tactics. This is how she is learning how to make the most money from you. This is what she is thinking, "hey if he pisses me off he will feel bad and guilty and pay me more money to fix the situation. Maybe I should get pissed off more often then? I will get more money from him that way." Think about it. This is what you are teaching her.

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    Default Re: How to make up with dancer who might be pissed at me?

    Take her to VIP and buy her food. Ive never seen that fail.

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    Default Re: How to make up with dancer who might be pissed at me?

    so many threads on this. So simple an answer. this list always works

    MONEY
    MONEY
    MONEY
    ALCOHOL/FOOD
    MORE MONEY
    MORE MONEY
    MORE MONEY

    (notice touching, kissing, trying to date is nowhere in there?)

    In my business, I've never stayed mad at a client that used that formula. and I've had some ROTTEN clients!.

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    Default Re: How to make up with dancer who might be pissed at me?

    OP, I don't know if you have hearing difficulty, but I am hearing impaired. I have run into this problem both in strip clubs and in everyday life. One problem I have besides not hearing, is "hearing" the wrong thing. I often make a reply that has no relation to what the dancer had said. The only thing you can do is explain what happened. In this case, since you were already thinking of getting dances, it would be good to buy one or more just before or at the same time you explain yourself. Two weeks ago, my favorite stopped briefly at my table to explain she could not sit down now because she had to do her set. I heard little of what she said except "set" and that I heard as "Saturday." I thought she wanted me to come back on Saturday. I sat there for a long while wondering why she would say that since she almost never works weekends. I finally looked around the club, and saw her on a stage on the other side of the room. She is familiar with my problem, so we soon figured it out. In the private dance room, her breasts did all the talking and I understood them perfectly.

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    Default Re: How to make up with dancer who might be pissed at me?


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