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Thread: Father's Day........

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Dizzy Father's Day........

    I asked my child's father if he would have the kid for Father's Day. It's also in our parent agreement this is his day for parenting time. Well, he ignored my question and never responded.

    Before I bombard him with questions and run a guilt trip I am wondering is it normal for a dad to not spend time with his child on Father's Day?
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    God/dess audrey_k's Avatar
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    Default Re: Father's Day........

    Well my father killed himself a week before Father's Day so I guess it depends on the dad.

    What kind of relationship does your child have with his father? Do they see each other often or rarely? Are you sure there isn't some kind of emergency going on and that's why he never responded to you?

    If they don't have a much of a relationship then I don't find it surprising he didn't want to spend the day with him. If that's the kind of dad he is, fuck him, give yourself Fathers and Mothers Day, you're doing all the work anyway, you might as well get all the credit. Maybe some day he will find another father figure that he will chose to spend that day with.

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: Father's Day........

    My heart goes out to you audrey_k thanks for responding.

    ....It's a long distance relationship but he's got the money for travels and what not plus I would think he would use his available parenting days since he doesn't get that much time. But I Guess not.

    I just can't imagine not being around my kid on Mother's Day so when Father's Day rolled around and he goes ghost , in my head I'm like wtf?!? But I figured I'd ask here in case I happen to be overreacting or intruding on how he spends his parenting time.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: Father's Day........

    My niece's father is an absent parent (I use the term loosely). Some people never grow up and accept the responsibilities; the flip side is that they miss out on a lot of the joys. The mom tried calling and organising the dad for years before she finally just let him 'make his own bed'; his daughter is now ashamed and embarrased of her father and wants nothing to do with him (but she loves her grandparents, his mum and dad, who have shown much love and support).

    My niece has several father figures in her life, including my husband to some extent, she has been very lucky in that sense. Is there a 'Big Brother' or YMCA style support network available to you?
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    Default Re: Father's Day........

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    Before I bombard him with questions and run a guilt trip I am wondering is it normal for a dad to not spend time with his child on Father's Day?
    Hell No.

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    Default Re: Father's Day........

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Hell No.
    This ^ I try to call all my friends who don't have custody on Father's Day to make sure they make it through the day. I did know one guy who only saw his kids on Christmas but he was disabled and couldn't travel to them.

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    Default Re: Father's Day........

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    My heart goes out to you audrey_k thanks for responding.

    ....It's a long distance relationship but he's got the money for travels and what not plus I would think he would use his available parenting days since he doesn't get that much time. But I Guess not.

    I just can't imagine not being around my kid on Mother's Day so when Father's Day rolled around and he goes ghost , in my head I'm like wtf?!? But I figured I'd ask here in case I happen to be overreacting or intruding on how he spends his parenting time.
    You are a kind, caring, and loving mother who wants to spend the day with your child because you cherish him/her. Sadly your ex does not have the same (wonderful and admirable) qualities that you have.

    I'm not a mother (though I hope to be in the next couple years) so take what I say with a grain of salt. If that's the kind of man he is-- he has the means to travel and just can't be arsed-- he doesn't deserve to be in your child's life. Being a father is an honour and a gift and not everyone deserves it. I'm not sure how old your child is, but if he's still young, let him/her wait until he/she's old enough to make his/her own decisions about reaching out to his/her father. In the meantime, find someone who can fill the father-figure role and be a kickass mom. You don't want your son/daughter to feel like they're being rejected by not seeing their father on Father's Day since this isn't about them, this is about their father being a shitstain, so just take the Father's Day out of it and take it as another day to celebrate the love you have for your child. Is it normal for a good father to not see their child on Father's Day? No. Is it normal for an asshole not to see their child on Father's Day? Probably. But who really cares about whats 'normal' I mean what does that mean anyway? It's about what's best for your family, not anyone else's. Forcing him to come out on Father's Day by laying a huge guilt trip on him will do no one, especially your child, any good. He deserves to spend the day with someones who loves and cherishes him-- you.

    However, I do hope you're ripping every dollar you can out of this guy's paycheck. While emotional support is something that needs to come voluntarily and within him, child support is not, so get every penny you can from this shitstain, especially as he is leaving you with all the hard work.

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    Default Re: Father's Day........

    Quote Originally Posted by audrey_k View Post
    You are a kind, caring, and loving mother who wants to spend the day with your child because you cherish him/her. Sadly your ex does not have the same (wonderful and admirable) qualities that you have.

    I'm not a mother (though I hope to be in the next couple years) so take what I say with a grain of salt. If that's the kind of man he is-- he has the means to travel and just can't be arsed-- he doesn't deserve to be in your child's life. Being a father is an honour and a gift and not everyone deserves it. I'm not sure how old your child is, but if he's still young, let him/her wait until he/she's old enough to make his/her own decisions about reaching out to his/her father. In the meantime, find someone who can fill the father-figure role and be a kickass mom. You don't want your son/daughter to feel like they're being rejected by not seeing their father on Father's Day since this isn't about them, this is about their father being a shitstain, so just take the Father's Day out of it and take it as another day to celebrate the love you have for your child. Is it normal for a good father to not see their child on Father's Day? No. Is it normal for an asshole not to see their child on Father's Day? Probably. But who really cares about whats 'normal' I mean what does that mean anyway? It's about what's best for your family, not anyone else's. Forcing him to come out on Father's Day by laying a huge guilt trip on him will do no one, especially your child, any good. He deserves to spend the day with someones who loves and cherishes him-- you.

    However, I do hope you're ripping every dollar you can out of this guy's paycheck. While emotional support is something that needs to come voluntarily and within him, child support is not, so get every penny you can from this shitstain, especially as he is leaving you with all the hard work.
    Lol @ shitstain. I'm dying laughing here. Maybe he will come to his senses one day. Thankfully I have other friends and relatives that are supportive in that aspect.

    Yes he's surprisingly good with the child support money - of course after I hired good lawyers to get $$$$$ out of him he knows what's up on that end.

    I appreciate everyone's responses.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: Father's Day........

    While it's not normal for a father to miss out on spending time with his son on Father's Day, the relationship between your son and his father *may* push them apart. For example, your son my resent him. Or, your son may have a completely different personality than his father and they clash. This can certainly apply if your son is a teenager. People often overlook the fact that dad's have feelings too. Personally, I need a little more information before I rush to judge the father.

    On the other hand, if your son adores his father, then his father needs a *crisis* to keep him away or the dude is a complete douche.

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    Default Re: Father's Day........

    Quote Originally Posted by rickrocker00 View Post
    While it's not normal for a father to miss out on spending time with his son on Father's Day, the relationship between your son and his father *may* push them apart. For example, your son my resent him. Or, your son may have a completely different personality than his father and they clash. This can certainly apply if your son is a teenager. People often overlook the fact that dad's have feelings too. Personally, I need a little more information before I rush to judge the father.

    On the other hand, if your son adores his father, then his father needs a *crisis* to keep him away or the dude is a complete douche.
    *jeopardy voice* I'm going to go with complete douche for 500.... lol joking but I am glad you present another view point. I wish I knew what was going through my childs fathers mind. He does have the money but sometimes he does dumb stuff like plan trips at last minute (which is expensive for most people) then acts really miserly so maybe a perceived loss of money? Maybe he just wanted to be with friends / adults on fathers day?
    Last edited by miss.a.p1600; 06-26-2015 at 06:15 PM.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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