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Thread: idk if im confident enough to dance, but desperately need money

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    Member blackbarbie21's Avatar
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    Default idk if im confident enough to dance, but desperately need money

    Hey everybody I'm 21 I live in Southfield mi. I danced twice at two different clubs. They where both only for a day each. The first club I only got on stage because the customer I was giving a lap dance for basically made me. I got 60 from him, and I never went back. The second one I was too terrified to go on stage because I don't really have any rhythm for a black chick. I was just so scared. All the other girls looked really professional. I just don't know what to do. Stage scares me sooo bad. I might fall cause I can't really walk in heels. I gained some weight. But I'm so desperate for money. I really don't know what to do at all. ANY TIPS ADVICE. also I'm really insecure because I breastfeed my daughter, so my boobs kinda hang. My stomach has stretch marks. I wish I could work in a club where there aren't alot of black men just cause I can't really shake my ass. But the clubs I've gone to outside of Detroit say I'm too big. HELP PLEASE
    Last edited by blackbarbie21; 06-25-2016 at 09:10 PM.

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  3. #2
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    Default Re: idk if im confident enough to dance, but desperately need money

    I would post a pic but I can't I'm 5'9 really thick and curvy. Pretty skin color. My stomach is kinda big but it doesn't hang over my pants. I would tone up but don't have the time

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    Default Re: idk if im confident enough to dance, but desperately need money

    girl i live in mi too, just dont start out at the upscale places. theres nothing wrong w your body, just go back to one of the clubs you were hired at get adjusted and dont let customers tell you what to do. hustle hut here is your best friend. good luck

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    Default Re: idk if im confident enough to dance, but desperately need money

    For the heels, practice walking and dancing in them at home, and you could either try some shorter heels since you're quite tall, or look for thicker high heels. I have a pair of Pleaser cone heels that I like. Ellie makes cone heels too (just google ellie/pleaser cone heel.) I used to wear Ellie H-Zoe heels; they are thick and easy to walk in but don't have good traction. I've also worn shorter 3-4 inch heels before, but now I'm more used to taller heels. When you're on stage, if there's a pole use it for balance or you could lean against a wall as you dance.

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    Default Re: idk if im confident enough to dance, but desperately need money

    well you might not think you have the time for self improvement / fitness but if you want something bad enough you must be willing to make sacrifices.

    Working out doesn't have to take hours. you can get quick and efficient workouts and I guarantee once you do tone up you will start to feel more confident, customers will notice your confidence, and you will make more money.

    Dancing (and looking good while doing it) doesn't come naturally to everyone and thats okay. Confidence also comes into play here as well. I've seen dancers who didn't have rhythm but despite that, they still looked confident while dancing and customers still tipped them and they still made money. You can always watch how others dance on stage and practice dancing at home in the mirror to improve your skills.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: idk if im confident enough to dance, but desperately need money


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    Default Re: idk if im confident enough to dance, but desperately need money

    I'm going through similar issues. I'm in NYC where there's a lot of upscale clubs around and it's kind of intimidating. And constantly worrying, Will I make any money? Will the guys not like me? The girls are gonna be way prettier and experienced. why would men want to spend money on me? But I have to push all that thinking aside and focus and know that plenty of women go through the same thing and get through it with confidence. Atleast you have already gained the courage to have danced already. Just push that courage and confidence a little further. That's how I've coped with a lot of situations in my life where I felt like the black sheep

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    Default Re: idk if im confident enough to dance, but desperately need money

    Try HT's on 8 Mile or Centerfold near John R and 8 Mile. Centerfold is extras friendly, but I know they have curvy women there. Both, I believe are black clubs and would probably ask that you have a cabaret license. Though I have heard Centerfold will ask you to pay $10 more for tip out if you don't have a cabaret card. HT's has open vip rooms, too I think. Pantheon in Dearborn is also a black club, but is super heavy on extras. King of Diamonds is all black and will also probably ask you to have a cabaret license.

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    Default Re: idk if im confident enough to dance, but desperately need money

    TRUST ME, it gets a thousand times better. By your fourth night, you won't mind. You'll still feel awkward, but not terrified. I remember my first night I was shaking and freaking out, but a bunch of the other girls helped me through it. I'm sorry it's not the same for you ):
    But the fact that you made $60 without trying shows you have earnings potential! Remember that every one of those "professional" looking dancers got there just by awkwardly dancing it out on stage. And most custies like to feel superior and needed, so they're not gonna judge your dancing like "Ew what is she doing." If you go up to them, they'll likely be like "Are you new? This is what you should do, etc." I had a couple custies teach me good moves they liked! They love feeling helpful, because that means they're needed by a beautiful woman. DO NOT GIVE UP.

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    Default Re: idk if im confident enough to dance, but desperately need money

    I haven't danced yet (wanting to audition next week), but I totally feel you on the black girl with no rhythm thing lol!

    That's partly why I wanna work in a more white club haha

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    Default Re: idk if im confident enough to dance, but desperately need money

    The best advice I can give you is to find a dive that will take you and in the meantime clean up your diet and start exercising. You don't need to join a gym or buy organic chicken breasts to eat clean. I buy a lot of frozen vegetables and meal prep days in advance. You're going to want to start out with cardio and lose the weight slowly to minimize loose skin.
    I'm sorry to say but you have an uphill battle against you. You mentioned that you are plus sized and a WOC. That is two strikes against you. This industry is not color blind. I wish it was but sadly it isn't. You are going to have to bust your ass to play the game because WOC are held to a higher standard.
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    Default Re: idk if im confident enough to dance, but desperately need money

    Sometimes you've got to fake it 'till you make it. Those girls who look so confident were probably scared out of their MINDS the first night they danced...and the second...the thing is, they stuck with it and now it's just a thing they do to make money. They're used to it, it's not scary anymore.

    You can get used to it too, but you have to keep going back. Go in, fuck up, be terrible on stage, walk badly in your heels, get your money, go home, breathe, and do it again the next day. Keep doing it. You'll get used to walking in those heels. You'll learn some basic stage moves just from watching yourself in the mirror or from watching other girls. You'll get money from guys and realize that you're worth it, you're hot as fuck and you deserve it. You'll learn that the guys who think you're NOT hot as fuck don't really matter, and you'll focus on the ones that love your look.

    One day you'll see a noob wobbling in her heels. You'll see how scared she is when she looks at you and you'll know she's thinking 'wow, that girl is so put together and sexy, how can I compete with that?' And you'll realize you're no longer that girl, you're one of those girls you look up at right now. It happened to me. It can happen to you if you stick with it and learn.

    I've met some girls who were awesome right off. Most of us weren't. Most of us were ridiculous when we started. We got better slowly, over time, just by not giving up. You've been hired twice, so you're hire-able. Get hired a third time and keep. going. back.

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    Default Re: idk if im confident enough to dance, but desperately need money

    That's the position I was in when I started sort of. Just move slowly on stage, practice two or three simple floor moves at home that you get used to doing without thinking about it.

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    Default Re: idk if im confident enough to dance, but desperately need money

    My 2 cents is a little different, but here it is: try to get hired at the best club(s) in the area, but for day shift. If days conflict with your schedule, work nights at a lesser club. Start with 6" heels, but wear them around the house while you're cleaning or something, for an hour at a time. You will get used to them pretty quickly. Work on getting in shape, but right now don't let it deter you. Confidence trumps physique in many instances. Some clubs are strict with hiring in regard to weight or other physical parameters, but attitude/personality holds a lot of potential to swing someone in your favor. Why? It's your job.i say, hit the ground running and get all the newbie anxiety over with so you can get comfortable and start making money. The more you work, the better shape you'll be in to boot.
    -Don't take rejection personally. Smile and move on.
    -Slip on the big heels. Walk/dance slowly, but do it so it looks sexy and deliberate. Make every move look intended to tease, not as if you're on stilts. (Check body movements and facial expressions in mirror.)
    -Lastly, embarrassing things happen. If you do a face plant or trip, get up, laugh it off and move on. If you can blush, or manage to look cute/endearing, that's money! After you shake it off, it's a good story.

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    Default Re: idk if im confident enough to dance, but desperately need money

    Ok for starters, you got hired at 2 clubs, so that's good! The only way to get over stage fright is to go to work, maybe earlier in the day when it's not crowded, and practice onstage. Over time you will improve. I was TERRIBLE when I first started. Even after 6 months I looked like a noob. Just breathe, move slow, take your time and smile. Practice walking in your heels at home. Try to watch your diet and eat clean, and try to get some walks with your baby in to start. Lots of girls dress in ways that camouflage areas they are insecure about and yes, we ALL have our insecurities. Remind yourself that you are doing this for you and your child and stay strong. It gets easier!

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    Default Re: idk if im confident enough to dance, but desperately need money

    Eat well and just keep going. Dancing itself is great excercise. If you keep at it, you'll be amazed at body results ( provided you stay away from booze / other bad habits ).

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