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    Angry my mom is stalking me

    Im having problems with my mom and i was wondering if you guys have similar experiences. My mom is a bitter bitch. At first, i thought she was being so nasty to me over the divorce with my dad but obviously at this point, thats not the case anymore. The abuse started nearly 10 years ago when my parents broke up, I was 9 years old. My parents had shared custody, but cause she was so emotionally/ verbally abusive, i asked my dad to file for full parental custody. He won the trial, but since then, my mom has since made false allegations about me and reported me and my dad to CPS 4 years ago claiming that im sleeping with him and im a prostitute. The case got dismissed cause she couldn't prove her allegations. But i still can't believe she would do that. Even to this day shes still calling me a prostitute and saying i should be broke at 18, and theres no way im living my life legally. She keeps saying the police will catch me wtf. Just last year she called my first job to ask questions about me, and now recently found out where i live at! Im 18 now and just moved out on my own in Feb of this year. Shes been stalking me all year and leaving hateful voicemail messages. Today she left a message saying that she knows where i live at now, did a background check aparently. Theres no doubt in my mind that shes called my property manager talking shit about me. I've told her to leave me alone and stay out of my life but she won't! Im going to court soon to get a restraining order but this sucks cause i was planning to spend my $$ on vacation. It's really crazy to me even after that i turned 18 shes still tryng to ruin my life.

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    Dang girl sorry to hear your mom is acting like a crazed psycho. Get everything she is doing and saying documented. If she is abusive and popping up out of nowhere, then it Sounds like a restraining order is a good idea. You may also want to take precautions to protect your identity so it wont be so easy for her to find you / cause problems.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    i heard it can be tough to get a restraining order against a family member, but i saved her nasty voice mail messages and im also thinking about getting written statements from my old therapists about her

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    You can file for a restraining order without spending a lot. No one has the right to stalk you.

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    I think you might find this community illuminating: reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists

    Editing to ask: Do you have a game plan besides the restraining order to get her to fuck off? I have some suggestions for making it more difficult for her to find you in the future, but all of them could easily be circumvented if she's nuts enough to hire a decent private investigator. It's always unfortunate when the crazies have no hobbies. It leaves them bored and with money to spend on said craziness.

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    You can sue your mother for slander if she said that you're sleeping with your father and you're a prostitute.

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    ^^^ sounds good, im def filing a lawsuit. I have some more questions. Im a cam model. What if she lies to the judge about me being a "prostitute" and suggests that the judge verify my employment? Does my mom have the right to know what i do for work during the hearing? Should i tell the judge that im a cam girl or just say i do web design/ customer support online?

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    Quote Originally Posted by tuesdaymarie View Post
    I think you might find this community illuminating: reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists

    Editing to ask: Do you have a game plan besides the restraining order to get her to fuck off? I have some suggestions for making it more difficult for her to find you in the future, but all of them could easily be circumvented if she's nuts enough to hire a decent private investigator. It's always unfortunate when the crazies have no hobbies. It leaves them bored and with money to spend on said craziness.
    shes already left me a message earlier this week saying shes hiring a private investigator to find out everything about my life smh

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    You have to get a restraining order. Save voice messages, texts etc to prove your case.

    Probably get it out on the internet so any reputable PI would see it in a search and back off

    she can find you since she knows your SSN

    https://faq.ssa.gov/link/portal/3401...ecurity-number

    That means changing a bunch of things and eventually moving of course.

    Sorry you have to deal with this much at your age. You have gotten out and are independent which is awesome. Get her off your back and get on with your life. Having to be harsh with a parent can be difficult, but this is not your fault

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    I have some more questions. Im a cam model. What if she lies to the judge about me being a "prostitute" and suggests that the judge verify my employment? Does my mom have the right to know what i do for work during the hearing? Should i tell the judge that im a cam girl or just say i do web design/ customer support online?
    The issue of having a family court discover that you work in the adult entertainment industry can be a 'dice roll' ... mostly depending on the general 'attitude' of the state / city where the family court is located. A judge who is 'liberal' will probably view your adult entertainment industry work as a positive ... in that you are in fact supporting yourself and not being a 'burden' to other family members or state social services, and that you are taking responsibility for your own life. But a judge who is a 'conservative' could view your adult entertainment industry work as partial corroboration of your wacko mother's accusations regarding your 'moral character'.

    On the topic of voluntarily disclosing your adult webcam work or not, that's a 'dice roll' as well. If your wacko mother has retained a private investigator, it's a pretty strong possibility that your adult webcam work will be brought up in any case. Thus failing to voluntarily disclose your adult webcam work, and having it pointed out by your mother's attorney in court, could be viewed by the judge as an attempt to 'hide' evidence on your part. And if you are caught 'hiding' evidence in regard to adult entertainment work, that could in turn plant the seed in the judge's mind that you may be equally willing to 'hide' evidence regarding your wacko mother's claims of sleeping with your father and/or prostitution.

    My personal experience has been that full disclosure up front is a potential negative, but that failing to disclose up front and having facts pointed out to the court by the other party is potentially even more negative. However, in terms of full 'disclosure', the only direct involvement which I have had with family courts has been in a 'liberal' state / city.
    Last edited by Melonie; 07-04-2015 at 07:01 AM.

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    wow I cant believe this shit. its like damned if I do damned if I don't. and shes dragging the bullshit to court about my father too cause she left me a message saying she will tell the judge about it. But how would admitting to camming change the case? Will I not get my restraining order just cause im camming?

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    The issue of having a family court discover that you work in the adult entertainment industry can be a 'dice roll' ... mostly depending on the general 'attitude' of the state / city where the family court is located. A judge who is 'liberal' will probably view your adult entertainment industry work as a positive ... in that you are in fact supporting yourself and not being a 'burden' to other family members or state social services, and that you are taking responsibility for your own life. But a judge who is a 'conservative' could view your adult entertainment industry work as partial corroboration of your wacko mother's accusations regarding your 'moral character'.

    On the topic of voluntarily disclosing your adult webcam work or not, that's a 'dice roll' as well. If your wacko mother has retained a private investigator, it's a pretty strong possibility that your adult webcam work will be brought up in any case. Thus failing to voluntarily disclose your adult webcam work, and having it pointed out by your mother's attorney in court, could be viewed by the judge as an attempt to 'hide' evidence on your part. And if you are caught 'hiding' evidence in regard to adult entertainment work, that could in turn plant the seed in the judge's mind that you may be equally willing to 'hide' evidence regarding your wacko mother's claims of sleeping with your father and/or prostitution.

    My personal experience has been that full disclosure up front is a potential negative, but that failing to disclose up front and having facts pointed out to the court by the other party is potentially even more negative. But the only direct involvement I have had with family courts has been in a 'liberal' state / city.

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    ^^^ again, much depends on the attitude of the judge / city / state where you will file for that restraining order. Also, your motion for a restraining order, and whatever other bullS#it your wacko mother decides to bring into court, could potentially take place in two different courts before two different judges ! Thus my reference to a 'dice roll'...

    In theory, your adult webcam work shouldn't be a factor at all ... because camming is 100% legal. In the 'real world', some judges could view adult webcam work as evidence of a 'moral character' which could lend credibility to your wacko mother's claims of incest and prostitution. If your wacko mom has retained a private investigator, don't be surprised if your mom's attorney produces an internet pic / screencap of your very 'adult' webcam performances which will be entered into evidence.
    Last edited by Melonie; 07-04-2015 at 07:16 AM.

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    if I get a religious freak or unopen minded judge, sounds like I can possibly be investigated again. I hope this bitch gets her kharma.

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    ^^^ again, much depends on the attitude of the judge / city / state where you will file for that restraining order. Also, your motion for a restraining order, and whatever other bullS#it your wacko mother decides to bring into court, could potentially take place in two different courts before two different judges ! Thus my reference to a 'dice roll'...

    In theory, your adult webcam work shouldn't be a factor at all ... because camming is 100% legal. In the 'real world', some judges could view adult webcam work as evidence of a 'moral character' which could lend credibility to your wacko mother's claims of incest and prostitution. If your wacko mom has retained a private investigator, don't be surprised if your mom's attorney produces an internet pic / screencap of your very 'adult' webcam activities which will be entered into evidence.

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    your line of work is not the "issue" - your moms obsessive - illegal - behavior is - I would not worry about the courts finding out what you do - what would it matter?? being a cam model is not illegal - in my city being an escort is not even illegal if you have a license -- the prosecutor should be your buffer - there is no reason for you to state ANYTHING you do for a living - your occupation does not matter and should not even come up - she has no right to harass you

    even if you are a prostitute her only recourse is to report you and let the police handle it

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    even if you are a prostitute her only recourse is to report you and let the police handle it
    That's not exactly true where family courts are concerned ... if the OP isn't officially 'emancipated' and may still be below the age of majority in her state ( some states are 18 but other states can go as high as 21 )

    from Wiki ... (snip)Age of majority pertains solely to the acquisition of control over one's person, decisions and actions, and the correlative termination of the legal authority of the parents (or guardian(s), in lieu of parent(s)) over the child’s person and affairs generally.(snip)


    if I get a religious freak or unopen minded judge, sounds like I can possibly be investigated again
    For better or worse, family court judges typically have a lot of 'leeway' ... and especially so given that you may not have reached whatever the specific age of majority is in that particular state, are not married, are not a member of the US military, etc. which would automatically provide official 'emancipation'.

    Not wanting to spread doom and gloom, but if the age of majority in your state is something higher than 18, and if you have not become officially 'emancipated' via one of the actions mentioned above, a family court could potentially still treat you as a 'child'. This could mean being remanded into your mother's custody, or any other actions at the disposal of the family court for dealing with delinquent / endangered 'children'. Hopefully any fair minded family court judge wouldn't choose to go this route, but ...

    Also, even if the age of majority in your particular state is 19 or above, you could still file for official 'emancipation' by the court if you can prove that you have been living on your own and supporting yourself for 6 months. But that would require that you disclose to the court your source of income. If you moved out in February, the 6 month rule may in fact be providing motivation for your wacko mom to take court action now, because after August you can file for 'emancipation' regardless of the age of majority in your particular state and leave your mom legally powerless to control any aspect of your life.
    Last edited by Melonie; 07-04-2015 at 08:04 AM.

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    The age of majority is 18 in my state.
    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    That's not exactly true where family courts are concerned ... if the OP isn't officially 'emancipated' and may still be below the age of majority in her state ( some states are 18 but other states can go as high as 21 )

    from Wiki ... (snip)Age of majority pertains solely to the acquisition of control over one's person, decisions and actions, and the correlative termination of the legal authority of the parents (or guardian(s), in lieu of parent(s)) over the child’s person and affairs generally.(snip)




    For better or worse, family court judges typically have a lot of 'leeway' ... and especially so given that you may not have reached whatever the specific age of majority is in that particular state, are not married, are not a member of the US military, etc. which would automatically provide official 'emancipation'.

    Not wanting to spread doom and gloom, but if the age of majority in your state is something higher than 18, and if you have not become officially 'emancipated' via one of the actions mentioned above, a family court could potentially still treat you as a 'child'. This could mean being remanded into your mother's custody, or any other actions at the disposal of the family court for dealing with delinquent / endangered 'children'. Hopefully any competent family court judge wouldn't choose to go this route, but ...

    Also, even if the age of majority in your particular state is 19 or above, you could still file for official 'emancipation' by the court if you can prove that you have been living on your own and supporting yourself for 6 months. But that would require that you disclose to the court your source of income. If you moved out in February, the 6 month rule may be providing motivation for your wacko mom to take court action now, because after August you can claim 'emancipation' regardless of the age of majority in your particular state and leave your mom legally powerless to control any aspect of your life.

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    ^^^ whew !!! Then you really don't have very much to worry about !!! In fact, I find it hard to believe that your wacko mom would start a court action knowing that you are already officially 'emancipated' and that any parental authority she once had has been officially terminated. I'm certainly no attorney, but as an initial response to any such court case you could certainly 'lead off' with a simple statement that you are legally 'emancipated', living independently, and supporting yourself, and as such the family courts shouldn't have jurisdiction over you.

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    good what if she doesn't show up for the court trial though? Will I win my case or will the hearing have to be rescheduled? I moved over an hour away from the city where I was raised/ where she lives, and its a long drive and or bus ride to get to the courthouse lmao.

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    ^^^ whew !!! Then you really don't have very much to worry about !!! In fact, I find it hard to believe that your wacko mom would start a court action knowing that you are already officially 'emancipated' and that any parental authority she once had has been officially terminated.

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    ^^^ If you haven't already received official notice of your mom bringing a court action against you ( with a specific court and a specific date ), consider bringing the action for the restraining order right away before a court in the city where you are now residing ... BEFORE your wacko mom actually files any court action of her own. This will force HER to make the one hour drive, will also leave your mom's attorney at a disadvantage, and will also leave the judge responsible for any future action your mom might bring to court with the knowledge that his decision is being 'watched' by another jurisdiction.

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    Ok. Haha she doesn't have a car so the bus commute is actually 2 hours for a one way trip down here , hope shes ready for the 4 hour round trip commute lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    ^^^ If you haven't already received official notice of your mom bringing a court action against you ( with a specific court and a specific date ), consider bringing the action for the restraining order right away before a court in the city where you are now residing ... BEFORE your wacko mom actually files any court action of her own. This will force HER to make the one hour drive, will also leave your mom's attorney at a disadvantage, and will also leave the judge responsible for any future action your mom might bring to court with the knowledge that his decision is being 'watched' by another jurisdiction.

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    The issue of having a family court discover that you work in the adult entertainment industry can be a 'dice roll' ... mostly depending on the general 'attitude' of the state / city where the family court is located. A judge who is 'liberal' will probably view your adult entertainment industry work as a positive ... in that you are in fact supporting yourself and not being a 'burden' to other family members or state social services, and that you are taking responsibility for your own life. But a judge who is a 'conservative' could view your adult entertainment industry work as partial corroboration of your wacko mother's accusations regarding your 'moral character'.

    On the topic of voluntarily disclosing your adult webcam work or not, that's a 'dice roll' as well. If your wacko mother has retained a private investigator, it's a pretty strong possibility that your adult webcam work will be brought up in any case. Thus failing to voluntarily disclose your adult webcam work, and having it pointed out by your mother's attorney in court, could be viewed by the judge as an attempt to 'hide' evidence on your part. And if you are caught 'hiding' evidence in regard to adult entertainment work, that could in turn plant the seed in the judge's mind that you may be equally willing to 'hide' evidence regarding your wacko mother's claims of sleeping with your father and/or prostitution.

    My personal experience has been that full disclosure up front is a potential negative, but that failing to disclose up front and having facts pointed out to the court by the other party is potentially even more negative. However, in terms of full 'disclosure', the only direct involvement which I have had with family courts has been in a 'liberal' state / city.
    This isn't family court. The O.P. wouldn't be going to court over child custody or a divorce settlement. This is about harassment.

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    That's not exactly true where family courts are concerned ... if the OP isn't officially 'emancipated' and may still be below the age of majority in her state ( some states are 18 but other states can go as high as 21 )
    It's 18 in every state except except Alabama (19), Nebraska (19 or upon marriage), Puerto Rico (21) and Mississippi (21).

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_majority#Age_18

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    Quote Originally Posted by kitte View Post
    ^^^ sounds good, im def filing a lawsuit. I have some more questions. Im a cam model. What if she lies to the judge about me being a "prostitute" and suggests that the judge verify my employment? Does my mom have the right to know what i do for work during the hearing? Should i tell the judge that im a cam girl or just say i do web design/ customer support online?
    I'm pretty sure she's the one who would have to prove her assertion, but your best bet is to speak to a lawyer.

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    Maybe I am missing something but I dont see ANY reason that your mother could file anything in any court - family or not - she has apparently bullied and intimidated you for so long that you are not seeing the situation clearly for what it is - here is the power and control wheel of an abuser http://www.theduluthmodel.org/pdf/powerandcontrol.pdf
    you cant just go to court and say I think this person is a prostitute and I want her to stop - they would tell her to make a citizen complaint to the police - there would be no grounds for her to file anything based on what you have shared here -- the farthest "reach" I can think of would be your mom attempting to get a mental inquest? I dont mean to sound unsympathetic or mean but she is full of shit

    take control of the situation ASAP and file a complaint against her

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    Default Re: my mom is stalking me

    Quote Originally Posted by Nikki_Fox View Post
    Maybe I am missing something but I dont see ANY reason that your mother could file anything in any court - family or not - she has apparently bullied and intimidated you for so long that you are not seeing the situation clearly for what it is - here is the power and control wheel of an abuser http://www.theduluthmodel.org/pdf/powerandcontrol.pdf
    you cant just go to court and say I think this person is a prostitute and I want her to stop - they would tell her to make a citizen complaint to the police - there would be no grounds for her to file anything based on what you have shared here -- the farthest "reach" I can think of would be your mom attempting to get a mental inquest? I dont mean to sound unsympathetic or mean but she is full of shit

    take control of the situation ASAP and file a complaint against her
    THIS. Yes, I'm not sure what any of this is supposed to accomplish, what is she trying to bring against you in this case? What point is there to hire an investigator? So she finds out her adult daughter is a cam girl, and....? All she's doing is bolstering your case that she's harassing you. Is she trying to sue your father in some way for child support issues or have him arrested for child abuse? This is seriously the only claim I could see her trying to defend. I don't see what she gets out of this except trying to scare you. What would her claim even be?

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