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Thread: Stripper fuckups thread

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    Default Stripper fuckups thread

    For the stupid shit you just did, or the memories that still haunt you.

    -I sprained my wrist dancing for a cute girl with glasses. I don't even know how, but it stayed swollen on and off for three months. I just remembered today because I resprained the same damn wrist.

    -I got my fishnets caught in a customer's cargo short buttons. We wasted an entire song trying to get untangled. He had to take my shoe off, then my fishnets, and then pull his phone out and use the flashlight because he didn't want to tear them. It really killed the mood. He was on his lunch break and was laughing about how he was going to go back to work and tell all of his friends there about getting a stripper stuck to his pants.

    -I trip all the time, and I don't even drink. I swear Houston clubs have more potholes in them than the actual streets.

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    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    ^ I've had fishnets get caught, worse yet; earrings: OMG!
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Veteran Member NakedNicole's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    I was talking to a double amputee retired veteran and he asked me if I like to get pedicures. And then for a moment I completely forgot the fact he is an amputee and respond with "oh yes, I love pedicures, and what about yourself...do you like getting pedicures?" I realized I fucked up right after I said it and then just had to go with it and make it seem like I just intended to be an asshole.

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    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    ^ Oh yeah, I was given some really expensive American Crew hair care products and tried to give it to my bald manager! I'm an idiot.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    I reminded myself that I was chewing gum, then went on stage, forgot that I was chewing gum and proceeded to invert on the pole. Got the gum caught in the back of my throat. I spent like half a song just walking around on stage trying to cough it up discreetly, and wondering if I was gonna die.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Veteran Member Warped's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    I work with my best friend and we told a custie we were sisters. We then went for a double dance and I told the same custie we were lovers and started grabbing her boobs, he looked at me like I was crazy lol. We apparently need to stick to one story

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    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    ^ lol I used to pretend cousins with another dancer
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Featured Member Danni's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    Fell by the bar in front of EVERYONE while working at Sapphire LV.

    Conked my head off the pole whilst thrusting my head backwards, fairly quickly, in a sexy manner. Saw stars and heard the sound of the vibrating brass and prayed that no one else could hear it.

    I'm sure I will think of more to add....
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Quote Originally Posted by Kisa7513 View Post
    You can only make so much selling dances, but when you really get into a guys head and heart, you get into his wallet.

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Tired Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    OMG - this's a GREAT thread, lol..not dancing @tm, but I had an early potential 'sugar' date, & said, "Oh you're from _____" - wrong! I said I was tired, which was true, but


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    I get what my manager calls 'bambi legs' in one club because the floor is so uneven. On stage i'm fine and graceful and then i step down and go to walk to the bar and BAM, stumble and trip. He's thinking about changing my work name to Bambi because of it..

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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    Smacked my face into the pole while doing a turn. Ooops. Luckily the bar was pretty empty (early.)

    & Honestly I kind of regret hanging out with guys I met through work. Now that I'm older I see that it would have been better to meet them in a more mundane setting. OF course guys want to get stripper attention for free. At the time I was young & crazy.....Now I realize I wasted my time on a lot of those guys.

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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    Quote Originally Posted by littlefox View Post
    I get what my manager calls 'bambi legs' in one club because the floor is so uneven. On stage i'm fine and graceful and then i step down and go to walk to the bar and BAM, stumble and trip. He's thinking about changing my work name to Bambi because of it..
    This happens due to uneven floors in some dumpier clubs...I was very graceful in my heels since I'm petite but even I had some stumbles at work. Just one of those annoying hazards of the job...

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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    i've done stupid things like trip on stage, have my period all over customers, etc but the shit the really makes me cringe are just blatant stripper/hustler no-nos.
    like falling asleep in the champagne room cuz i thought i was just that cute he was lucky to be in my presence while i was snoring.

    or making best friends with one of the most psycho, people-using bitches in the club.

    or falling for a "regular" there ..yeah, a regular fuck boy. that coupled with the friendship mentioned above caused a huge drama fest that resulted in me being fired from my first club.

    letting customers put their hands all over me because i didn't have the balls to stand up for myself or say no. or letting them low-ball me and being too afraid to say anything and never realizing my own worth or having an ounce of confidence or self esteem.

    trusting one of then girls there to cut my bangs * face palm*

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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    Quote Originally Posted by SnuffleUffleGrass View Post
    This happens due to uneven floors in some dumpier clubs...I was very graceful in my heels since I'm petite but even I had some stumbles at work. Just one of those annoying hazards of the job...
    ^This makes me feel somewhat vindicated for my frequent tumbles. A fellow SWer witnessed me wipe out in the VIP area of Centerfolds. She laughed her ass off. Bitch <3

    Re: Simone's--probably my absolute dumbest in a not-funny way was getting ripped off $200. Taught me a pretty solid lesson about not doing strings of dances till you've seen cash in a motherfucker's wallet, no matter how slow the club is. I'd rather be sitting on my ass not making any money for 10 songs than grinding on some dick (pun optional) for free.

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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    Quote Originally Posted by tuesdaymarie View Post
    Re: Simone's--probably my absolute dumbest in a not-funny way was getting ripped off $200. Taught me a pretty solid lesson about not doing strings of dances till you've seen cash in a motherfucker's wallet, no matter how slow the club is. I'd rather be sitting on my ass not making any money for 10 songs than grinding on some dick (pun optional) for free.
    I know I've been That Guy too. ^^^^

    Also a card-carrying member of the Frequent Fallers Club.

    Others: I used to sm times hold onto the pole & sway, w/ my forehead against it, for a few seconds here&there. Found out the hard way that this is unwise to do w/ a recent eyebrow piercing

    Not reading up on local laws when travelling to a new area. Could have gotten myself branded a dirty girl, or worse gotten busted by sm1 higher-up than the dance counter (who in my defence only yelled at me to quit doing what I was doing, w/o telling me what I was doing wrong). Fortunately the mgr was more understanding/helpful & we got my misunderstanding sorted w/o getting me fired.

    Trusting certain coworkers w/ my real name. I can count on one hand how many ppl from the club have ever known my real name, & two of them are still friends. The other two

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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickdreams View Post
    ^ I've had fishnets get caught, worse yet; earrings: OMG!
    Not while stripping, but that reminded me: I once got my bracelet stuck in my own hair while fooling around with my old FWB. We had to pause so he could untangle it all for me since my wrist was stuck against the side of my head.

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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    Climbed the pole and flipped upside down, got my fishnets and knee-high boot hooks stuck together.

    Had to slide down the pole upside down, get to the ground and get everything apart. xD

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    Veteran Member Likethis's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    Tripped and fell a couple times. Once sold a dance right after a dramatic fall: "Please get a dance from me and save my reputation"

    Almost fell off a customer's lap once while doing a dance, he noticed I was about to fall, we laughed about it.

    Made a man cry (accidentally, he was really sweet and I had no intention to make him sad at all) in VIP shortly after he had bought 2 hours with me. He even said it himself "I paid a lot of money for this and you made me cry!" I felt bad about that one, I cheered him up after a while though.

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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    This thread is too funny

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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Likethis View Post
    Tripped and fell a couple times. Once sold a dance right after a dramatic fall: "Please get a dance from me and save my reputation"
    I've stumbled and used it as an excuse to sit with customers before, it always works. "Please let me sit with you so I don't fall!"
    "Please take me upstairs! I never fall when I'm dancing" etc

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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    Quote Originally Posted by NakedNicole View Post
    I was talking to a double amputee retired veteran and he asked me if I like to get pedicures. And then for a moment I completely forgot the fact he is an amputee and respond with "oh yes, I love pedicures, and what about yourself...do you like getting pedicures?" I realized I fucked up right after I said it and then just had to go with it and make it seem like I just intended to be an asshole.
    Veteran fuckups are the worst. One veteran asked me how old he looked. I always guess down. I said 32, though he looked a solid 40. He was 27 and said that the blast that killed everyone nearby but him disfigured his face. He showed me a photo of how he looked before he shipped out, so he wasn't just fucking with me. I felt horrible.

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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    Quote Originally Posted by tuesdaymarie View Post
    Veteran fuckups are the worst. One veteran asked me how old he looked. I always guess down. I said 32, though he looked a solid 40. He was 27 and said that the blast that killed everyone nearby but him disfigured his face. He showed me a photo of how he looked before he shipped out, so he wasn't just fucking with me. I felt horrible.
    Holy shit, that's unfortunate.

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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    Knocked a guy's beer over with my butt... Gotta watch that thing
    The whole world steps aside for the one who knows where she's going.

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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Sansa View Post
    Knocked a guy's beer over with my butt... Gotta watch that thing
    Hahaha, I've done something similar!
    I thought that it'd be clever to kartwheel into the splits on stage after practicing a couple times off stage to make sure nothing would go wrong when I did do it.
    But I ended up kicking a guy's drink into his lap.
    LOL
    needless to say, I've never done it again. Idek why I thought it'd be a good idea to do something like that. xD

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    Featured Member kaninchen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper fuckups thread

    #1 biggest mistake: doing dances with guys when my intuition told me, "Runnnn girl runnnn away!" You know, those guys who act normal but you can just tell they're gonna be rude, gropey, and cheap.

    Tonight on stage I was sexily running my hands through my hair. My ring caught on a tangle, got stuck, and I had no choice but to rip it out. It was not pleasant.

    Another time on stage, I kneed myself in the face because I'm a superstar genius.

    ... I'm a totally clumsy goofball so I know I'll be back to this thread!

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