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Thread: I need to reevaluate my spending...

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    Senior Member mm621's Avatar
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    Default I need to reevaluate my spending...

    Wow. I'm in absolute shock right now.

    I have been keeping track of my earnings (both vanilla and dancing), and from Jan - now, I've made about 16,000 dancing. Where the hell did that money go?! The purpose of doing this on the side was to SAVE the money, but I've spent everything. 😔 it just makes me so upset. Granted, a few emergencies came up, but this money pretty much went to always going out and shopping. Now I want the money back!!! Lol So. I need a plan. Maybe if I live like my only income is from my vanilla job... I think I've inadvertently upped my lifestyle due to working more at the club... I'm trying to invest in my future and I can't do that if I spend every dollar I make. Arghhhh. Does anyone else have any saving tips? or is it something you just do until it becomes a habit?

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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    Work every day, don't spend. I put 50% in the bank the next day. I have a savings account at one bank, and a seperate savings account and a checking account at another bank. Keeping your savings seperate keeps that money out of sight and mind, and if you just fill it up every day and don't spend it, it grows. It's easier than you think, you just have to do it, lol. And work a lot so you aren't tempted to go out and spend a lot.

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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    I pull out $40 or so every shift for gas, Starbucks, etc. and everything else goes into a box for savings or the bank for bills.
    I try to keep all of my money in $50s and $100s, less likely to break one for a stupid purchase, AND it thins out my stack so I start to get panicky about spending it all sooner than if it was like 'Oh what a fat stack' of small bills.
    I don't take money with me anywhere. It's sometimes a pain if you forget you need gas or something, but it sure as hell prevents "I need to kill an hour, let's go to the mall". You have to go home to get $$ and by then you've probably thought about do you really NEED the item.

    And working a lot definitely helps. I remember I saved about $3000 in 5 months waiting tables (and I only made about $1500/month), because I did school in the morning, worked 5 nights a week and the other 2 I was probably getting drunk for $10 with my coworkers. Literally too busy to go spend it.
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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    I love this thread. Also was in serious shock not so long ago when I realised I had grossed about $1600 that month for camming but was struggling to pay month end bills. I really do need to implement a policy of saving 50% of what I make every day (if I can) since I get paid daily as well

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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    I do this method: After I count my money from a shift I put away money to pay for the next night's house & tip out. After that I put away 60% for savings. Then I take what's left over and put some towards bills. Sometimes I put all of it towards bills so they're paid up. Sometimes it's $20 here and there. It depends. And with anything left over i either put it in my wallet for gas and spending money, or i put it towards some short-term savings goal (like if I'm trying to buy a nice purse, or something like that).
    I just always try to put away 60% or more. If I make $800 one night and $480 is 60% I try to round it up to just $500.

    I also have a weekly savings jar. You put in $1 the first week, then $2 the next, and so on until the end of the year. I already have over $400 saved.

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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    All very good methods here.

    When I was dancing FT b4 'life got in the way' & kicked my ass financially, I was putting aside the nxt nite's fees, then 30ish% for taxes just to make sure I had that covered, $20ish for nxt day's incidentals & the remainder was divided evenly between 'bills pile' & 'savings pile'. Those two piles would be deposited in my bank acct after work the following nite, & I made the effort to just pay for incidentals/mad-money type purchases in cash bc I read a long time ago that spending cash allows you to be much more aware of what you are spending.

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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    It is amazing how easy it is to piss away money when it comes in so fast. Think about your future and how you will really be NEEDING that money then. Think about how your future self will find that saved money super helpful to reach your goals. You don't have to stick to a beans and rice diet or anything, but you will be much better off if you can stop frivolous spending. Here are some tips that helped me:
    -Make one grocery shopping trip per week and get only what you need. Make a list and don't buy anything that's not on it.
    -If you find yourself thinking about going shopping, try to evaluate if you really want that thing and if you will use/wear it for longer than a few months.
    -If you're clothes shopping, don't be afraid to leave the mall empty handed. Don't buy anything you don't absolutely love.
    -Instead of going out to bars/clubs all the time, limit yourself to once or twice a week/month/whatever will satisfy your party needs without going overboard. Find ways to entertain yourself at home, or invite friends over to share some wine or something. There are some really great shows on Netflix, lol.
    -If there is something you need, but not right away, you will almost always find it cheaper on Amazon. A Prime membership will pay for itself in no time.
    -Make yourself a realistic work schedule and STICK TO IT. If you planned on going in that day, drag yourself in there and put a smile on your face. You will also be able to get more regulars if you can give out a consistent schedule of when you work.
    -When you do go to work, make it count. Stay out of the back room, and don't leave early just because you're bored. Be honest with yourself and don't make up BS excuses to yourself to justify skipping work or leaving early.
    That's all I can think of for now, but it's easier than you think it will be! Once you implement some changes to your spending, you will soon start wondering how you managed to fly through money so quickly

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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    I think for my psychologically I spend so much because as a child I grew up dirt poor and could never have good food or clothes or luxuries of any kind and this continued to my junior year of college before i was kicked out of home and started living very differently. Now that I get paid daily and I make more money per day than i have "ever seen in my life" type thing I find frugality very hard, yet for years I did it successfully. I just need to get back to being frugal and find a way to not view living frugally as being deprived of the things one needs like it was for most of my life.

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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    Heres a Law of Attraction spin on spending vs saving: http://www.practicalwisdomthatworks....oney-mistakes/
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    Buy those metal tins for saving coins (big enough for notes though) and put cash in there after every shift!! I made a goal to put minimum $500 p/week in my tin weekly and it's added up so quickly. Just a month ago I also had nothing to show for working hard, now I've buckled down a little and I have something to my name. It's a lifesaver because once it's in there I can't get it out!

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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    I stopped shopping for stupid stuff like shoes, clothes, and makeup.
    I would bring lunch to work bc I'm not paying $12 for a nasty sandwich.
    I made my friends come pick me up if I was going out.
    We would get guys to buy us drinks.
    I looked for cheaper or free activities to do during the day.
    I didn't rush out to buy a new or expensive car even though I wanted one.
    I didn't charge unless I was buying online (only for work).
    I did my own taxes.
    I aggressively paid off all of my debt.
    I stopped buying $5 coffees.

    I could go on and on....

    I'm retired now. I miss work but not the stress.

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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    Decide on an amount you will put away for saving, and keep your spending money separate. Either put the saving money in the bank, or in a locked box somewhere you can't easily access it. Make the decision not to make extravagant purchases for a few months. Allow yourself a set amount (a couple hundred is plenty) for weekly expenses, then pay your bills and keep the rest in savings. I was most successful at saving money when I regularly banked my cash, once per week, and used a set amount on my day to day expenses. An old school rule of thumb is spend a third, save a third and use a third for expenses. A final idea, you could set up a long term 'term deposit' account with a bank, I believe the idea with these accouns is you can put money in, but you cannot withdraw any money before a set period of time (if you do, you loose all interest accumulated on that money) this would be a good incentive not to dip into savings! x

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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    I like Dave Ramsey's envelope method, but only for regulating spending money. My weakness is movies and eating out (halfway decent places), so on the first I will put $200 in my entertainment envelope and when that money is gone, it is GONE. It makes it a lot easier to monitor how much you're actually spending. When I put it all on a card, it's easy to lose track if you've eaten out four times that month, or 6 times, or 10 times.

    Also, I deposit everything, I don't spend any petty cash. That way I can look at my deposits and know how much money I'm actually making VS spending.

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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    Re: shopping--I have been reading about the concept of a French wardrobe lately, and I find it fascinating, even if I cannot fully adhere to it yet. Basically, the idea is that you have a stock of quality basics--undies, tank tops, socks, etc. And then with each fashion season (spring/summer and fall/winter) you purchase up to five new pieces to add to your wardrobe only. Sounds impossible? That's because a lot of people treat shopping as a hobby. We go in to whatever store with very little idea of what we want, and we buy whatever looks good or is our "go to" sort of piece. But with the French wardrobe concept, you treat shopping as a strategic investment in your wardrobe--one that you will likely have throughout your adult life. You pick pieces that are made well, fit you perfectly, and properly represent your chosen aesthetic. You may end up spending more per piece (quality clothes aren't cheap), but you ultimately end up spending less and look far more put together.

    I would also recommend an online budget. I use Mint. It's free, and it allows you to set your own budgets and categorize your spending. Very helpful for you to actually see where all of that money is going!

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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    Such good ideas and I love this wardrobe one ^^ I am so guilty of literally not knowing what I need/want when shopping. Thankfully these days i've taken to leaving empty handed if I don't know, but in the past I used to bulk buy heels and jewellery I didnt need which is a no no now.

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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    Tons of awesome tips in this thread.

    I'll counterbalance them with a thought. I do think it's completely natural, when you start a job like dancing, to spend more money in the beginning than you do later on. When you start pulling in $xxx/night after working for years in a job where you made that much money after a week or even a month of work, it's normal to start buying things that you'd previously written off as too expensive. This job can really give you the opportunity to upgrade your life...IF you know the difference between "worth it" expenses and expenses that later have you scratching your head, wondering what you were thinking.

    So if you're finding yourself buying a bunch of bullshit, or if you're scrambling to pay your bills at the end of a month, then yeah, you need to be more responsible with how much you're spending. But you should allow yourself some room to breathe when it comes to life upgrades. And those life-upgrade purchases should slow down after your first six months to a year of dancing. They should naturally peter out, since by definition you'll have most of what you previously couldn't afford to purchase.

    That said, you should ALWAYS save for bills first. Get a couple of months ahead in your bills before you start spending money on life upgrades (unless they're completely necessary). And have an emergency stash on top of that. If you have the next three+ months of bills covered and a solid emergency fund, then you can relax. And that'll help you make more money at work, too. Personally, I keep my money in stacks of a month's worth of bills. So I know that I need to make $xxx/month (includes rent, electric, food, etc.), and I bundle that money up together (rather than bundling it by the thousand). I label it with the month. And then I forget about it until I use it.

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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    Quote Originally Posted by tuesdaymarie View Post
    Re: shopping--I have been reading about the concept of a French wardrobe lately, and I find it fascinating, even if I cannot fully adhere to it yet. Basically, the idea is that you have a stock of quality basics--undies, tank tops, socks, etc. And then with each fashion season (spring/summer and fall/winter) you purchase up to five new pieces to add to your wardrobe only. Sounds impossible? That's because a lot of people treat shopping as a hobby. We go in to whatever store with very little idea of what we want, and we buy whatever looks good or is our "go to" sort of piece. But with the French wardrobe concept, you treat shopping as a strategic investment in your wardrobe--one that you will likely have throughout your adult life. You pick pieces that are made well, fit you perfectly, and properly represent your chosen aesthetic. You may end up spending more per piece (quality clothes aren't cheap), but you ultimately end up spending less and look far more put together.

    I would also recommend an online budget. I use Mint. It's free, and it allows you to set your own budgets and categorize your spending. Very helpful for you to actually see where all of that money is going!

    I am coming to the end of a year of a deliberate intention not to buy new what I could find secondhand or borrow (August). 1 year!! Wow!

    I bought 5 items new; winter pjamas (our coldest winter in 20 years!) plus underwear. NO work related clothing was included in this game.

    And, it was pretty easy! Its made me see what I wear in my wardrobe and which pieces I need to add to mix and match more (as in the french method). I've gotten creative with outfits and appreciated that I do have a versatile and large wardrobe.

    It was fun and a good challenge and I highly recommend it!
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    ^^ I never realized I followed the French wardrobe concept but I totally do. I have been doing it for years. I never go clothes shopping for fun any more, I only go shopping when I NEED something. Then when I do, I make sure it's perfect -- high quality, classic style, and looks amazing on me. I'll spend extra for these things (usually $50 a top or $100 for a dress/bottoms/jackets that aren't winter coats ) and take EXCEPTIONAL care of my stuff. I get compliments all the time on my style and I know I always look put together and polished which is a nice feeling vs thinking "I wonder how many people know I got my outfit from forever 21??" (That place isn't bad for basic tank tops for working out etc but you get what I mean).

    I have saved SOOO MUCH MONEY because I used to go on like thousand dollar shopping trips a couple times a year and buy trendy crap that I only wore a couple times before they were too out of style to wear again. I probably spend $500-1000 on new clothes every year and I keep every single thing forever and they don't fall apart.

    A lot of the stuff I buy is from the limited or new York and company (I work in a professional environment a lot. The limited clothes fit amazing and are high quality) I personally think Express's clothes are crap. I wish victoria's secret still made regular clothes because they were actually made well and looked AMAZING. Definitely meant to hug your body and look sexy but classy. For trendy stuff when I need it I like Guess.

    For flats I like aerosoles (so comfy) and heels I usually go to Macy's and get Jessica Simpson (also comfy, heels you can wear for hours) or Michael kors or steve madden.

    Of course I have some Louboutins etc but these are just my suggestions for every day clothes.

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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    Oh I forgot to mention, I had to get control of my spending on food. That gets out of hand FAST with me. It's one of those things you don't really think about, like oh a $4 latte here and then I'm gonna have Chipotle for lunch at $9, etc. My ex's dad once pointed out that "you guys are literally eating your money".
    Idk what you all find appropriate to spend on takeout/coffee, but mine was heading towards $200 a month, which is outrageous to me

    So I set a limit on only eating one meal out on days I'm working, and when I go to the coffee shops, I get an iced coffee for $2 instead of a $5 frappe thing. If I'm on my way to work, I ditch the coffee and get a custy to buy me a Red Bull. I try not to get anything out at all at least 2 days a week. I also try to make sure I eat before work sometimes too, so then I can just get a couple protein bars for a few bucks instead of buying a meal. This requires some grocery shopping/meal planning to make sure there's food at home to eat. But these minor adjustments have really cut down my spending on 'non-groceries food'.
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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    This might be stupid, but consider tying up your money in things that you actually need if you're getting the desire to spend. Buy three containers of your favorite body wash, go to Costco and buy stuff in bulk that won't go bad (refried beans, frozen berries, whatever you eat), buy razor blades (those fuckers are expensive, man...not fun to have to buy if you're running low on money), vitamins, fake lashes, etc. Think of stuff that you use often - all of the little things that you currently see as necessities (to maintain your quality of life) that can be safely stored for a while.

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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    ^^ Yes, I do this too. I love Red Cherry lashes but they are expensive to buy individually (I think around $5-6 a pair which adds up). I found a seller on ebay that sells them in packs of 6, 12, etc and they end up being $2-3 a piece depending on how many you get. That helps cut down on cost.

    ALSO along with only buying clothes I need, I stopped buying makeup I didn't need. I ONLY buy makeup or beauty products when I need something. I had this revelation a couple years ago when I read an article about going through your makeup and throwing out stuff that probably went bad. I threw out a whole LARGE trash bag worth of stuff. I almost cried thinking about how many hundreds of dollars I was literally throwing away.

    That was about 3 years ago. Since then I haven't bought any new eye shadow or blushes or bronzers since I literally haven't run out. The only new stuff I've bought is face makeup when I run out and mascara when I run out (I always use a "fresh" mascara and use the tube until it's out since that is most likely to go bad fast and give you a nasty infection)

    My feet sweat like crazy in stripper heels and my shoes would end up stinking so bad after a month I would have to throw them away. Buying summer soles inserts (made for people with sweaty feet) has saved me SOOO MUCH money (probably $500 a year) because I only buy new stripper shoes once a year now. The inserts are $5 each if you buy them in a pack and I replace them once a month at most because they work so well.

    Also I love to go out to eat but I have a list of all my favorite places and the nights they have specials. For example sushi sundays half off sushi, taco tuesdays $2 tacos, etc.

    **end threadjack** these are just some of the things I do to save money. And I'll tell you, I don't feel a single bit deprived.

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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    I ended up setting up different envelopes for saving. One envelope was for rent/bills/groceries, another was for a vacation I wanted to take, etc. Basically, things I wanted/needed to save up for. 60% of whatever I made on a given night went into the envelopes, and the rest went into my pocket. If I was really hard core going at it, savings wise, I'd go 80% to the envelopes, 20% to my pocket. That's definitely harder to do, but it can be done. Especially since that 20% is just fun play money, and the 80% is what you use to pay your bills/build your long term savings.

    If you want to get even more organized/in control, you can break it up even further. If you spend a lot of your money on clothes or going to the movies or out to eat, for example, and you want to get that a little bit more under control, you can set up an envelope for each of those and put in a set amount each week. Once the movie envelope is empty, no more movies until you next replenish it. It was unbelievably hard for me to reign myself in when I first started making more in a day than I previously made in two weeks, but it got easier as time went on/I realized the money would still be there later if I still wanted to make purchase x in a few days.

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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    Just did some awesome math, if I save $30 a day for 300 days of the year (not counting the 65, as those can be sick days or holidays or just general time I don't work) by the end of those days I will have $9000 which is some serious change where I live. Also if I just do that for the remaining days of this year I'll end up with $3600 which once again is a ton of cash where I'm from and an awesome chunk of change to begin the new year with. All for $30 a day. It may seem little but on cam I make between $50-$100 a day on average so that would be what I could spare from those earnings.

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    Default Re: I need to reevaluate my spending...

    What are your expenses? If you average what you've made, you're only making 2.2k a month which isn't a whole lot. Its incredibly easy to see how overspending could be an issue especially if you live in a more affluent area. I second saving at least 50% of your money per night (after accounting for bills). I also think you should place it somewhere where you don't have quick access. I have a lot of cash stored in a safety deposit box several thousand miles from my house which eliminates any possibility of impulse buying. You would also be wise to put a portion of your income into an IRA or 401k; not only will it increase in interest over the years, you can also write it off on your taxes.

    I've heard good things about the program Mint (www.mint.com) as a good way to manage your finances. Good saving habits come with repetition.

    You could always work extra shifts at the club if you want more spending money.

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