Hi everyone, curious wife here.
Just to put it out there -- I'm cool with the existence of strip clubs, understand my husband isn't going to be attracted only to me, etc.
However, he's spending about $700 every time he goes out (regularly to the same club). Sometimes he doesn't roll in until 7-8am. He has vague statements about where he is after the club closes (I was at this guy I met there's house) but has been pretty convincing about not physically cheating on me (I don't consider a lap dance cheating, I wouldn't be too psyched about him touching a woman but wouldn't consider that as big of an offense as a HJ or BJ). When he lies, he's vague and evades, and answered these questions very directly. He's also vague about how the money is being spent (e.g., how much on drinks, lap dances, drugs).
Yes, as cool as I am with clubs, this is all totally crossing boundaries and our relationship is entirely screwed up, and I am to blame for that too, but I'm still trying to figure out where the money/time is spent since I can't get answers from him. The club that he frequents is full nude, no touching during dances, and as far as extras, people have written about HJs under the bar table for ~$50 and BJs for ~80. Other people have said there are no extras there.
Is it possible to spend $700-$800 in an evening and *not* be getting some physical stimulation? By my own calculations, yes, between $30 drinks for the girls and $20 lap dances, some private dances, some blow, but I am not an expert here. Does that definitely scream VIP room participation? Am I being a complete idiot to think he isn't going farther than lap dances?
I'm also convinced that he's having or has had emotional affairs, I know that he texts with some of the girls and is very secretive about his phone, but he's denied that as well.
Thanks and sorry if this is the wrong place to post something like this!






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