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Thread: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

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    Member angelulu's Avatar
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    Angry How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    There's this one girl at my club who has been there for a few months (her first club) that brags constantly about how much she makes to everyone that will listen even though we all know it's a lie and have seen her asking to owe house fee, never in the lap dance room, no regulars etc. She loves to tell her little stories to one girl that has money problems and rub her face in it. She also starts trouble with the bouncers and is generally passive aggressive to everyone. The girl with money problems is my friend and it's really upsetting to me to hear her be so condescending to someone that I truly care about. I never know what to say though as she is the type to make my life a living hell with management if I freak out on her.
    Does anyone have any tips on telling her off in a subtle way?

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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    The most subtle thing I can think of is have every girl ignore her. She keeps on bc she wants attention, so take away her audience.

    You could also take the direct route & make it clear that all the girls know she's full of shit. Have you been there longer or has she?

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    Veteran Member MiraMichele's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    Honestly there's always going to be that one girl (lucky if just one girl) in almost any club you work and there isn't a whole lot you can do about it unless you want to stoop yourself down to her level by creating more drama with her and making the work place more hostile. Just ignore her as much as you possibly can is about all you can do. More than likely management won't care to do much about it either unless you have really awesome and understanding management but most won't do something about a situation like that unless the girl is seriously jeopardizing em or the club.

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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    She's been there a couple months longer than I have. I try to answer her invasive questions very short and she has gotten the point with me. I will definitely try telling everyone to ignore her, thank you!!

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    Member angelulu's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    Mira- that's true I hadn't really thought about it that way. She is a black hole of positive energy. Thank you for the advice!

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    You don't. As soon as you put yourself into a situation that you're not part off, you're starting trouble. Dancers like this are just looking for someone to bite. If your friend is sick of hearing her stories, she needs to either stand up for herself and tell her to shut up or simply avoid being around her. The latter is probably the easiest option -- she can leave the DR when the dancer comes in and just walk away if she approaches her on the floor.

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    Veteran Member MiraMichele's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    ^^There are actually 2 girls that have been messing with me at work but you know what I do? Like shanna just said about not being in the dressing room with them or anywhere close by them if possible. I come to work already ready except for having my work clothes on of course lol but that takes me all of 5 minutes to put on. I'm usually on the floor by the time those girls even get there and they ha e to sit down there like an hour getting ready while I'm already working so I say jokes on them for wanting to sit in the dressing room whining and talking shit while I'm making money. The girls and their negativity biting themselves in the ass, so immature and dumb really.

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    God/dess SnuffleUffleGrass's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    A dancer friend of mine who was raised really well (rich family) would always be able to out-do these types of girls b/c she REALLY had it easy in life, versus little wanna-bes. She used extreme sarcasm, but that often goes way over the heads of mean "wannabe successful" people. (Low intelligence is a common issue with this type of personality.)

    I've also noticed people will group up to make jokes about this kind of stripper, repeating ridiculous shit they say, or asking where they got their outfits so they can be sure to never shop there.....little stuff, but sometimes it makes a point.

    Be careful though, I've noticed with this type of person, they often cannot handle being ridiculed, and will stoop to disgusting stunts to "get back" at someone who told them (you know, peeing on clothing, dumping drinks on someone's makeup, etc.) Lock your stuff up if you are going to start mocking the resident loser girl.

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    Featured Member Nina_'s Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    Sell vips and walk past her with a big smile on your face as you head to vip while she stands there making no money. Maybe add a hair flip on your way. That'll piss her off without you even having to say anything. That's how I have found it best to deal with the "mean girls" I've encountered, by killing them with kindness. A girl I've had a problem with in the past was staring at me while I was on stage last shift and obviously talking shit so I looked at her and flashed a beautiful smile with my chin up as I walked off stage when my set was done and went and made money while she sat there bitter and speechless. Never let her think she's getting to you, and she won't get to you.
    "Rather have my feet hurting than my pockets."

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    "The best revenge is living well"

    Just ignore her, or do what Nina said and smile at her when you're on stage or going to do a dance. If she wants to waste her time talking shit, let her.
    +1 for arriving with your hair/makeup mostly done. Try to limit yourself to 10 mins in the DR to change clothes/touch up before your shift, and if you're in there for a break later, leave if she comes in. Don't give her the opportunity. She will eventually get bored and move on.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    Ignore em and smile.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    Knowing me I probably would've told her to shut the hell up because nobody cares lol. That's not the right way though. Ignore her and continue to focus on yourself.

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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    if you want to help your friend, you could come in and do a quick, ' oh, hey these guys i'm sitting with want you to come over with me!' and take her away that way. or if on the floor, tell her you need to borrow something out of her locker. in the meantime, be all, ' i'm so sorry to interrupt, hun' to the bitchy girl. act clueless about what they were talking about if prompted. maybe try this if ignoring isn't working for everyone.

    i hate saying this, but sometimes ignoring will only work so much. sometimes bitches will just keep at it and not stop at all, no matter what you do. i'm not comfortable posting what happened to me on a public forum, but let's say it didn't stop until i stopped working there. remember, there's only so much a person can take. i'm hoping your problem doesn't get as batshit crazy as mine did.

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    Featured Member EastCoastDancer01's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    You don't have to cause trouble or be dramatic when confronting somebody about their bad behavior. Whenever I have an issue with someone, I calmly and politely tell them whatever is on my mind. I do it in a slightly condescending way to make them feel like shit, but not so much that I make myself look like the bad one. Your friend needs to stick up for herself with the help of you and the other girls (so she has some backup) and she needs to tell the girl in a calm voice, ''sweetie, I don't care what you make or how you do and neither does anyone else. We're sick of hearing about, so find something else to talk about''. After that, just ignore her completely.

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    Featured Member Nina_'s Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    Quote Originally Posted by Selina M View Post
    +1 for arriving with your hair/makeup mostly done. Try to limit yourself to 10 mins in the DR to change clothes/touch up before your shift, and if you're in there for a break later, leave if she comes in. Don't give her the opportunity. She will eventually get bored and move on.
    YES! This is what I do. Very, very rarely do I arrive at work without full hair and makeup done so I can get out of that gossip-filled dressing rm as soon as possible! And funny because the girl I mentioned in my previous post, has a locker a couple lockers away from mine so we share a bench lol. We don't work together that much, but when we do I act like a high class lady who's wearing and crown, and she sees me being positive while she's being negative and trying to have an attitude for no reason and she can't stand it! Then I'm out of there in 5-10 mins ready to hustle.
    "Rather have my feet hurting than my pockets."

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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    This is all great advice! Thank you all so much. Luckily she is not coming back to the club for at least a month for family issues so I'll have forgotten about her soon enough
    The other day she was bragging about how good she had it with the (pervy) manager because he brought her for a dance once. Lmao

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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    It's like Kanye bragging about how great he is. If they were so great they wouldn't need to broadcast it. All the top hustlers that I know aren't talking about their money because they're busy getting it.
    And tell that bitch I said it.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    I just want to add, what Charlie has said, about not even noticing the other girls @ all.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    Just focus on building up your friend and encouraging your friend to believe in herself.

    Your friend will encounter bitchy people long after she finishes dancing and if everyone else fights her battles for her she will never grow up (in this sense). I know its making you uncomfortable to see your friend being picked on but she must learn for herself, but please encourage and support her.

    The distraction route is good, above poster suggested "I need something from my locker/Those guys were asking for you" and earbuds were invented to listen to you tube/music while in the change room.

    This other girl must have very low self esteem- as irritating as these people are, its hard not to feel a bit sorry for someone who is so lost inside.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Veteran Member Daniellaa's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    Just forget about her existence and keep making money. There's always gonna be girls with shitty self esteem who want drama and attention, not just in a strip club but life in general. Don't stoop to their level and don't let them distract you or impact your life in any way.

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    Quote Originally Posted by whirlerz View Post
    I just want to add, what Charlie has said, about not even noticing the other girls @ all.
    Lol, quoting myself (or rather Charlie), I notice when I go out shopping or whatever, & I keep my 'blinders' on/walls up, I get thing accomplished faster & more efficiently


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Featured Member wednesday86's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    I ignore the trouble makers and ice them out. I will walk away from them while they're talking mid sentence or start texting while they rattle off or just pretend I don't see/hear them. I'm very quiet around the other dancers...unless they are being genuinely friendly to me I won't talk to anyone but customers. I have a few girls I chit chat with here and there but I never get involved in their lives. I also never talk about anyone behind their backs because it accomplishes nothing and just stirs up more high school bullshit. Even if they're doing drugs or whoring, it's going to catch up to them eventually and what is talking about it going to do? I had several girls come up to me last week complaining about this one girl and I just shrugged and said to ignore her. I'm not talking shit or listening to it. I'm there to make money and go home.

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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    Quote Originally Posted by wednesday86 View Post
    I ignore the trouble makers and ice them out. I will walk away from them while they're talking mid sentence or start texting while they rattle off or just pretend I don't see/hear them. I'm very quiet around the other dancers...unless they are being genuinely friendly to me I won't talk to anyone but customers. I have a few girls I chit chat with here and there but I never get involved in their lives. I also never talk about anyone behind their backs because it accomplishes nothing and just stirs up more high school bullshit. Even if they're doing drugs or whoring, it's going to catch up to them eventually and what is talking about it going to do? I had several girls come up to me last week complaining about this one girl and I just shrugged and said to ignore her. I'm not talking shit or listening to it. I'm there to make money and go home.
    Interesting kind of the same thing happend to me at work last night, but the girls who were starting it brought their guy friends to the club to make fun of me and I think acouple of thebouncer guys were in on it too, someone called me a whore, was making fun of everything about me loud enough so that I would overhear but I was so out of it I didnt really respond to the comments. I kind of just kept to myself and talked to the waitresses. I overheard the guys saying things like "oh cange in plans as soon as so-and-so got here" I guess they all asumed that I was intimidated by her, but thats not really my personality, in real life or at work. I never talk shit about anyone, and its interesting to me that I do make money without extras, and my body isnt perfect, but its toned and their are girls that are much older, and have more extra weight than me, but they all chose to make fun of me. Why, who knows? One of the other girls who are neutral just told me to shrug it off because "bitches are going to talk shit anyway they'll find someone else eventually", which is true. I just dont understand why if these girls truly believe theyre better looking or better than I am why they have to go to such lengths to go after another dancer who they supposedly are "better" than to them.

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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    Quote Originally Posted by MetalRoses View Post
    Interesting kind of the same thing happend to me at work last night, but the girls who were starting it brought their guy friends to the club to make fun of me and I think acouple of thebouncer guys were in on it too, someone called me a whore, was making fun of everything about me loud enough so that I would overhear but I was so out of it I didnt really respond to the comments. I kind of just kept to myself and talked to the waitresses. I overheard the guys saying things like "oh cange in plans as soon as so-and-so got here" I guess they all asumed that I was intimidated by her, but thats not really my personality, in real life or at work. I never talk shit about anyone, and its interesting to me that I do make money without extras, and my body isnt perfect, but its toned and their are girls that are much older, and have more extra weight than me, but they all chose to make fun of me. Why, who knows? One of the other girls who are neutral just told me to shrug it off because "bitches are going to talk shit anyway they'll find someone else eventually", which is true. I just dont understand why if these girls truly believe theyre better looking or better than I am why they have to go to such lengths to go after another dancer who they supposedly are "better" than to them.
    Some loser dancer did this to me. Some of these girls know the only place they will be special/get attention is a strip club stage. THAT'S IT for them in life. & They know it deep down.

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    Default Re: How do you tell off the mean girls without starting too much trouble?

    Quote Originally Posted by SnuffleUffleGrass View Post
    Some loser dancer did this to me. Some of these girls know the only place they will be special/get attention is a strip club stage. THAT'S IT for them in life. & They know it deep down.
    Yes! Thats what I figured. I was really pissed at myelf for letting myself not mentaly be up on my A-game, so of course I made the mistake of letting it show. I talked to a veteran dancer who gave me great advice because it has happened hundreds of times to her as a feature dancer. She told me its just jelousy, those types are just trying to hurt your money, and it worked. Just go in like nothing happened and just walk away and laugh about it."

    So having listened to her, I am right back at work ready to hustle and make my $$$ like I have been because if there is one thing haters are good at (as long as you bounce back) is dishing out the reverse psychologcal flattery without them even knowing it!Jokes on them lol

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