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Thread: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

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    Default Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    I need opinions/advice. I'm with my soulmate and he love me for me.. Unconditionally. But he hates what I do. I know it eats him up inside and he's cried hysterically in front of me asking me to quit what I do. But I can't seem to do it. I don't know why... the money is addicting. It's like a drug. Our relationship would be perfect if I didn't dance. I don't know what to do or how to balance it. Please help

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    He's cried hysterically? Are you kidding me?
    Call me an insensitive bitch but if my boyfriend cried hysterically about me being a stripper, I'd dump him and tell him to go to therapy. That's a BIT dramatic. He sounds like he's being a whiny little twit who's insecure.

    He does not love you 'unconditionally' if he's putting the condition on you that you need to quit dancing. You need to look out for yourself first and if that means having a job where you can put money in the bank, so be it. You may think he's your soulmate now but who knows where you'll actually be in 5 years. What's the alternative? Live paycheck to paycheck in a normal job just so he can stop 'being eaten up inside'? That's a recipe for you to be unhappy and then him by proxy.

    (If anyone wants to flame me, save it.)

    Edit to add: OP, I am not a single man hater or anything... I'm engaged and live with my fiancé, who does not particularly care what I do except for the safety factor (things like guys following me, etc.).
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."


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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    Cliffnotes version of my other post: Ditch your mangina, put on your big girl panties and stop letting this industry control you. It's a job, treat it like one.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Veteran Member Miss_Red's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    I have a husband. He's fine with what I do--he knows it's just a job, he knows I'm coming home to him every night, and he knows I love him and only him. Our combined incomes allow us to live very comfortably and may even allow us to retire someday while the rest of my age bracket works forever.

    If you want to dance, and he doesn't want you to dance, you're not compatible as a couple. You have agency--you're not "compelled" to dance, it's not a "drug", you're making a choice as an adult as to what you want to do to make money and survive in this world. It sounds like you're going to have to choose between your job and your relationship. I know which I'd go with.

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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    @Selina: this is OP's 2nd post in this vein. Equally as whiny as the first.

    OP, I get where you are coming from as far as the relationship you described in your previous thread. Many of us have survived abusive relationships. But I 2nd Tempest here. You need to grow up & stop letting this job control you. Ppl talk abt 'the stripper lifestyle' well 'the stripper lifestyle' is generally lived by girls who let the $$$ & other pitfalls of stripping consume them. They are not 'their own ppl' anymore, it's all abt the partying, the $$$, the luxuries.

    'He cries hysterically & wants me to quit' well, if you weren't exaggerating abt how you were crying to him abt being depressed bc of stripping … what did you expect? Sounds like you've nurtured the idea in his mind that stripping is oppressive, degrading, dangerous for you. Any guy that truly cares for you wouldn't want you to stay in that situation. If you are really so unhappy w/ your job, then quit bitching abt it & get out of the industry. There is no shame in realising that stripping may not be for you, & if it's not, then you will do a huge amt of psychological dmg to yourself. Sounds like you're already partway there w/ the 'but the $$$ is sooooooo ADDICTING! '

    If you're making such good $$$ stripping, consider investing sm of it in a decent therapist. Either get a handle on your stripper self, or quit stripping. Those are your two options IMO.

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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    Also: a quick reference to relationships+stripping links

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    Veteran Member MiraMichele's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    Quote Originally Posted by Selina M View Post
    He's cried hysterically? Are you kidding me?
    Call me an insensitive bitch but if my boyfriend cried hysterically about me being a stripper, I'd dump him and tell him to go to therapy. That's a BIT dramatic. He sounds like he's being a whiny little twit who's insecure.

    He does not love you 'unconditionally' if he's putting the condition on you that you need to quit dancing. You need to look out for yourself first and if that means having a job where you can put money in the bank, so be it. You may think he's your soulmate now but who knows where you'll actually be in 5 years. What's the alternative? Live paycheck to paycheck in a normal job just so he can stop 'being eaten up inside'? That's a recipe for you to be unhappy and then him by proxy.

    (If anyone wants to flame me, save it.)

    Edit to add: OP, I am not a single man hater or anything... I'm engaged and live with my fiancé, who does not particularly care what I do except for the safety factor (things like guys following me, etc.).
    I don't really have any helpful advice to add besides what the other ladies have said. I'm quoting to not flame, but I cracked up at the post and then seeing your first line in your reply just made me think more like gosh, I hope I'm not being insensitive either but I couldn't help it. Lord have mercy this guy sounds like a real winner.....

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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    This post has been moved to Layna_'s other thread.
    Last edited by Leather_Jacket; 08-19-2015 at 07:23 PM.

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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    I love what i do but I hate it. I don't know how to describe it. I have fun at my job I'm not into drugs or alcohol, all my friends are there.. But I feel like I've pushed all my close family and friends away because of my profession

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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    Are they paying your bills? If not then their opinions shouldn't impact your life. Would they rather see you and your child starving and out on the street?
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    If you were stripping before, and he knew that, then he should accept it.

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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    He doesn't, he "cries hysterically". Between the OP and the mangina I think the child probably has more common sense than the two of them put together.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    No, we''re all lesbians, except me, I'm Bi.
    I'm sorry, between this, the thread about farting in Lounge, & the Industry thread asking about selling weird vitamins in VIP or something, I'm out


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    Lol @hysterical crying... You aren't slaughtering the Jews..it's just entertainment. Nothing to get hysterical over!

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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    Dtmfa.

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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    Quote Originally Posted by Layna_ View Post
    I love what i do but I hate it. I don't know how to describe it. I have fun at my job I'm not into drugs or alcohol, all my friends are there.. But I feel like I've pushed all my close family and friends away because of my profession
    Then maybe you should find a 'vanilla' job. Stripping is an actual job not a sorority. Having fun and working with all your friends shouldn't matter. All you need to be doing is getting in, making your money & getting out. Leave work in the club and if it's following you home and messing up your personal life then find another job. Someone said you have a daughter so income & supporting your child should be your top priority.

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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    unless he can support you and your daughter, not worth the time or effort. he should accept it cuz its a part of you.

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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    I think I smell a troll.

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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    Quote Originally Posted by Layna_ View Post
    I love what i do but I hate it.
    it was the best of times, it was the worst of times...
    "There are different kinds of darkness. There is darkness that frightens, the darkness that soothes, the darkness that is restful. There is the darkness of lovers, and the darkness of assassins. It becomes what the bearer wishes it to be, needs it to be. It is not wholly bad or good."
    - The Court of Mist and Fury

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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    Quote Originally Posted by 22lligm View Post
    Then maybe you should find a 'vanilla' job. Stripping is an actual job not a sorority. Having fun and working with all your friends shouldn't matter. All you need to be doing is getting in, making your money & getting out. Leave work in the club and if it's following you home and messing up your personal life then find another job. Someone said you have a daughter so income & supporting your child should be your top priority.
    I absolutely agree. It's completely understand that your boyfriend wouldn't be okay with you dancing. The fact that you're getting completely/partially naked and grinding on other men is not an easy pill to swallow. While you shouldn't expect your partner to be 100% okay with you stripping, the should definitely understand if it's something you have to do. My boyfriend hates that I dance, but he understands that I need the money and that I deserve to live comfortably while doing something I love instead of busting my ass at McDonald's for a portion of the pay. He can't pay my bills or tuition so he has no choice but to allow me to do what I must in order to be independent and financially stable.
    But if you're stripping just for fun and extra money and it's not detrimental to your survival then your boyfriend's feelings are valid. At the end of the day you have to choose what matters most to you: the money or your relationship. If you can survive on a vanilla job then quit dancing. If you know your relationship really isn't shit and dancing fulfills you, then dump him.

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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    Quote Originally Posted by GothicStripper View Post
    At the end of the day you have to choose what matters most to you: the money or your relationship. If you can survive on a vanilla job then quit dancing. If you know your relationship really isn't shit and dancing fulfills you, then dump him.
    This 100%

    If he's your soulmate like you say then he shouldn't love you for the job or in spite of the job. He should just love you. If your partner can't separate your identity as a stripper from your identity as a person, there's obviously not going to be a future. Probably not even a present.

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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    If he knew you worked this job and now he's upset about it... He will be upset about any job you have. I worked as an office manger and a strippper and then I met my ex. He used to work at my club of all things. He was OK with it, until he became my official SO, my soul mate, w/e. Then I had to quit dancing b/c he was so upset over it. Then he'd show up at my vanilla job all the time b/c he was so concerned that I may have male customers (who DID NOT know I was ever a dancer). He almost threw me out my office window that was a four story drop b/c he thought I was going to cheat on him.

    No, you don't need him! You can provide for yourself and family what you/they need. He will control this one thing and try to get you to quit, but then it will just be something else he wants to control over you, and there begins the continuous cycle. If he really loves you and trusts you then you should be able to work whatever job you want if it is supporting the bills, children, your life, etc. Read HH, LoA and all the other suggested books and watch the videos. You deserve to be with someone who loves how determined, dedicated and supportive you are. Don't ever feel bad for taking care of your responsibilities and never let anyone tell you how you should live your life. Be productive and take care of what you need to!

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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    OMFG, crying hysterically. Sounds like a real grown up.

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  40. #24
    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does anyone else have a boyfriend?

    We had a close contender for your Mangina of the year, OP. Last night we had a double hotseat with a bride and groom to be. One of my friends took the bride's tits out on stage, much to her delight and her soon to be husband's consternation. He threatened to call the cops.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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