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    Default How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    My first shift is tomorrow after a 7 month break!! Eek!! And I hate touchy people. When I start the lap dance some guys start rubbing me all over, and I smile and politely say "no touching allowed" they just go "why?" And continue!! So I let it slide even though it's not allowed at my club! Before I start the dance, after he's paid should I go "no touching anything clothed" but won't that throw off the whole atmosphere? Or should I just say something when it happens? Am I allowed to just get up and walk off if he keeps doing it?? Will he get money back?

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Yes! You are always allowed to get up and walk away, please keep that in mind! You have the power, not your customer and you can def let him know that. You can be polite at first if it was not a big deal, but you need to be firm in order to be taken seriously if it continues. Otherwise your setting yourself up for a bad night, because no one likes feeling they were taken advantage of. It will hurt your mood and in turn your profit. If I've got a handsy customer, I ask whether I'd be willing to do another dance with him. If the answer is no, and I feel he's disrespected me I get serious with him and threaten to walk away. Luckily that stops the bs real quick in most cases. If it continues... I laugh at him, take his money, and walk away.

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Leather_Jacket View Post
    Yes! You are always allowed to get up and walk away, please keep that in mind! You have the power, not your customer and you can def let him know that. You can be polite at first if it was not a big deal, but you need to be firm in order to be taken seriously if it continues. Otherwise your setting yourself up for a bad night, because no one likes feeling they were taken advantage of. It will hurt your mood and in turn your profit. If I've got a handsy customer, I ask whether I'd be willing to do another dance with him. If the answer is no, and I feel he's disrespected me I get serious with him and threaten to walk away. Luckily that stops the bs real quick in most cases. If it continues... I laugh at him, take his money, and walk away.
    You are right at saying we girls have the power there, but I always seem to forget and feel like "well, he bought a $20 dance from me, I should be grateful and not bossing him around." But tomorrow is definitely a new me. Do you think saying something like "I can either charge you double or get you thrown out" would work?? *wink wink

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Leather_Jacket View Post
    Yes! You are always allowed to get up and walk away, please keep that in mind! You have the power, not your customer and you can def let him know that. You can be polite at first if it was not a big deal, but you need to be firm in order to be taken seriously if it continues. Otherwise your setting yourself up for a bad night, because no one likes feeling they were taken advantage of. It will hurt your mood and in turn your profit. If I've got a handsy customer, I ask whether I'd be willing to do another dance with him. If the answer is no, and I feel he's disrespected me I get serious with him and threaten to walk away. Luckily that stops the bs real quick in most cases. If it continues... I laugh at him, take his money, and walk away.
    You are right at saying we girls have the power there, but I always seem to forget and feel like "well, he bought a $20 dance from me, I should be grateful and not bossing him around." But tomorrow is definitely a new me. Do you think saying something like "I can either charge you double or get you thrown out" would work?? *wink wink

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trena View Post
    You are right at saying we girls have the power there, but I always seem to forget and feel like "well, he bought a $20 dance from me, I should be grateful and not bossing him around." But tomorrow is definitely a new me. Do you think saying something like "I can either charge you double or get you thrown out" would work?? *wink wink
    You're there to take their money. You are not Oliver Twist walking around begging for dances. Your rules are yours, stick to them, take charge. Don't "be grateful" when someone buys a dance. Have the attitude that if they didn't buy a dance, THEY are the ones missing out on your company.

    Honestly I don't give them a reason they can't touch me, I just tell them they can't. "because I told you that you can't touch me". Learn to say things assertively, with strong body language as well. This is not only helpful for keeping their hands off of you, but selling dances as well.

    I wouldn't suggest that you will accept contact for more money because if you give them a glimmer of hope that your rules can be changed with money, they'll continue to push for more.

    Don't be afraid to physically grab their hands. Sometimes I will hold a custies' hands and then they don't even try to touch me after that, because there is contact.

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by SuperJa View Post
    You're there to take their money. You are not Oliver Twist walking around begging for dances. Your rules are yours, stick to them, take charge. Don't "be grateful" when someone buys a dance. Have the attitude that if they didn't buy a dance, THEY are the ones missing out on your company.

    Honestly I don't give them a reason they can't touch me, I just tell them they can't. "because I told you that you can't touch me". Learn to say things assertively, with strong body language as well. This is not only helpful for keeping their hands off of you, but selling dances as well.

    I wouldn't suggest that you will accept contact for more money because if you give them a glimmer of hope that your rules can be changed with money, they'll continue to push for more.

    Don't be afraid to physically grab their hands. Sometimes I will hold a custies' hands and then they don't even try to touch me after that, because there is contact.
    Oops, I didn't clarify my post. I meant to say instead of walking away from a dance early due to touching, would it be a good hustle move to say you'll have to charge them double, $40 instead of the usual $20, and not tell the bouncer or tell the bouncer what he's doing and get him kicked out.

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Sometimes you have to try the right club and find ones that have low contact dances, if they're available in your area. Even if you don't allow contact, some guys are really pushy and annoying with it, especially if it's a club where they are used to more contact.

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    ^SuperJa, i still think you can be grateful for someone giving you money for a dance! I think most of us can hold the attitude of gratefulness while simultaneously knowing that you are totally worth it (and more!). I think it's healthy to be grateful. Besides that difference in opinion I agree totally with the rest of your advice. No means no; mostly customer aren't as retarded as they sometimes appear to be.

    I also don't believe that gratitude/appreciation means/leads to an obligation to pander to the customer's demands because OMG he gave me $.... I think that's a different thing entirely.

    I think that when we start to allow a change in our boundaries (something doesn't feel right) we can very easily learn to ignore and misinterpret our own early warning systems: this is where I would do some reading around PTSD in the workplace (see Optimist threads) and def re-read the sticky by JD "Preserving emotional/psychological wellbeing".

    I imagine that not every extras girl started out that way- maybe she "got used to" being touched on the waist, then the breasts, then she "got used to" being fingered etc.
    I'm not saying one thing definitely leads to another either.


    I don't agree with Trena's post either; If you know he is going to touch and you set him up for extra $ then kick him out; I think it lacks integrity; one bad turn doesn't justify another. Develop the qualities that the high spending and respectful customers respond to... I guarantee you that it's better for your brand; a lot of little choices to act with integrity help you develop that quality in your self in a massive way; the men who make big money are great people readers an can smell quality from a mile away; they can also smell shifty from a mile away. So its a choice; a couple of extra bucks here and there or the potential for massive payoff when great opportunities materialize.

    Personally, I tell the customers after I've been paid that "just a reminder there is no touching of any kind (this includes tongues boys) otherwise I will have to end the show". If they touch somewhere safe and they are gentle I will say "do I need to tie you up/would it be easier for you if you sat on your hands/why don't you be good so I can be bad- hands down". If they are gropey/rough/go for the holy trinity they get a stern command "NO"; and if they ignore I would leave and tell the appropriate person why you ended the dance, or, do an airdance from a metre away if you must complete dances.

    We already have heaps of threads on this topic so scroll down the page and look at similar threads to get some ideas. Remember you have just started back; the guys can sense weakness! It will quicly become 2nd nature and your confidence that you can make money without changing your boundries will increase as you make money without being touched; you will! Its just a matter of time! Then it will be so easy and integral to how you work that you wont even think twice about it!
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trena View Post
    My first shift is tomorrow after a 7 month break!! Eek!! And I hate touchy people. When I start the lap dance some guys start rubbing me all over, and I smile and politely say "no touching allowed" they just go "why?" And continue!! So I let it slide even though it's not allowed at my club! Before I start the dance, after he's paid should I go "no touching anything clothed" but won't that throw off the whole atmosphere? Or should I just say something when it happens? Am I allowed to just get up and walk off if he keeps doing it?? Will he get money back?
    does your club not allow touching? or you just do not want to be touched?

    honestly i have never understood why a guy would by a lap dance if no touching is allowed, why not just watch the stage show for free?

    if you walked into a buffet restaurant and there were two buffet sections, one section you could eat for free, the other section you had to pay $20 to get in, but both sections/buffets had the exact same food, which one would you choose?

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by anyacolo View Post
    does your club not allow touching? or you just do not want to be touched?

    honestly i have never understood why a guy would by a lap dance if no touching is allowed, why not just watch the stage show for free?

    if you walked into a buffet restaurant and there were two buffet sections, one section you could eat for free, the other section you had to pay $20 to get in, but both sections/buffets had the exact same food, which one would you choose?
    What abt this ^^^^ was supposed to be helpful? Sounds like a sly shitting-on for the OP actually having the nerve to enforce her own boundaries.

    Sm clubs are in fact no-contact. DC for example has a literal 3-ft rule. Further, she states in the OP that touching is not allowed at her club.

    OP: if touching is not allowed at your club, regardless of whether it's a club rule or a legal rule … seriously here … why in the fk would you WANT to continue letting it slide? Even if you were ok w/ it, from your post it sounds like No Touching means No Touching & allowing it would be putting your job & possibly legal record at risk.

    Keep in mind that 99.99999% of customers Don't Fkng Care abt the consequences to YOU for doing illegal or otherwise unallowed things. So what if you get fired/arrested; they can just find another dancer. No person who feels THAT entitled to force your physical boundaries is going to lose a bit of sleep over how you will actually be affected by it -- be that physically, legally, employment-wise, or the PTSD that could develop from allowing yourself to be violated. You're 'just a stripper' to them; their needs for 'entertainment' are the only thing they are really interested in. So grow a backbone & do what you need to do to take care of yourself.

    Re: the 'be grateful vs. take em for all you can' debate -- I agree w/ Flick on this. It is possible to be appreciative of the $$$ you are able to get … but stripping, while customer service (no XRated double entendres intended) is paramount, is NOT the place for bending over backwards to make sure Every Single Customer Who Forks Over $20 Is Fully Satisfied.

    There is A LOT of info in Hustle Hut for dealing w/ these situations. Go stock up on your favourite snacks & get to reading.

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    why in the fk would you WANT to continue letting it slide? Even if you were ok w/ it, from your post it sounds like No Touching means No Touching & allowing it would be putting your job & possibly legal record at risk.
    because chances are the other girls are allowing it, which girl do you think they are going to want?

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    As the dance starts I say "Now do you know the rules? Just keep your hands at your sides and enjoy ." (technically touching is allowed/just not boobs or vagina but they don't need to know that.) I won't let them touch at all during $30 dances. If they get VIP they can touch my back, sides, etc...Use it as an opportunity to up sell. If they start complaining or asking "why" I say "I would LOVE for you to touch me more/get more naughty but we can't do it here. We have to go to VIP" I'm also lucky to have a great bouncer who watches and has literally kicked guys in the shins for me and yelled at them if they get handsy...I tip him well and made friends with him so he can be the "bad guy" for me.

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by anyacolo View Post
    does your club not allow touching? or you just do not want to be touched?

    honestly i have never understood why a guy would by a lap dance if no touching is allowed, why not just watch the stage show for free?

    if you walked into a buffet restaurant and there were two buffet sections, one section you could eat for free, the other section you had to pay $20 to get in, but both sections/buffets had the exact same food, which one would you choose?
    You are either a man, a troll or you simply don't understand sales lol. A good hustler can make plenty of $$$ "doing" practically nothing.

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by wednesday86 View Post
    You are either a man, a troll or you simply don't understand sales lol. A good hustler can make plenty of $$$ "doing" practically nothing.
    When I read their first post I thought the same & their second post reinforces it. How many times have we all heard customers use that exact argument to justify why they deserve to be permitted unallowed/unwanted contact or even sexual favours.

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickdreams View Post
    ^SuperJa, i still think you can be grateful for someone giving you money for a dance! I think most of us can hold the attitude of gratefulness while simultaneously knowing that you are totally worth it (and more!). I think it's healthy to be grateful. Besides that difference in opinion I agree totally with the rest of your advice. No means no; mostly customer aren't as retarded as they sometimes appear to be.

    I also don't believe that gratitude/appreciation means/leads to an obligation to pander to the customer's demands because OMG he gave me $.... I think that's a different thing entirely.
    I think it perhaps came across as more aggressive than I initially intended, being text- I definitely agree with your point here.

    I guess I just don't like the use of "gratefulness" in the context of OP's post- it sounds like someone finally bought a dance and they're saving you. If it was swapped out for something more like "appreciation", that's better. I'm certainly not turning up my nose at the $20, but the idea that any amount of money is worth compromising your personal boundaries and mental health because you "should be grateful" is an issue.

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trena View Post
    You are right at saying we girls have the power there, but I always seem to forget and feel like "well, he bought a $20 dance from me, I should be grateful and not bossing him around." But tomorrow is definitely a new me. Do you think saying something like "I can either charge you double or get you thrown out" would work?? *wink wink
    If you can't stand being touched at all, then don't let them touch at all for any amount. You'll just damage yourself psychologically. I work with one girl who refuses to take her bottoms off at all....Doesn't matter if the guy buys 3 hours in the champagne room. Panties aren't coming off, period. She still does just fine $$ wise from what I can tell (though she also has gigantic fake boobs which doesn't hurt.) Point is, you can still make money without letting men overstep your boundaries but you have to be confident and really believe in your product..which from the sounds of it may be something you need to work on.

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?


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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    I will also grab a hand and move it to table or his own lap or sometimes hold it, in some clubs. I will let them touch my waist usually out in open, and will let them hold some of my stripper wear, at a table. Depending on club, and local customer economy, upsells can come harder than in other areas. I try to stay positive and on top of the situation though, bad vibes seem to travel fast.

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    One of my favorites is "If you're naughty with those hands one more time, I'm going to take them and hold you down." After they ignore my warning, I take their wrists and hold them down against the couch or pin them back as if I was dominating them. Like I have them pinned down or handcuffed. I've found most guys find it sexy and don't complain. Don't be afraid to take control!

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    I threaten to break their fingers. Usually with my knee putting pressure on their balls, for added emphasis. I used to be nice about it and it got me nowhere. I tell them the rules upfront and if they choose to break them, they're choosing to get their fingers broken, their shoulder dislocated, their testicles injured, etc.

    They obviously don't give a single fuck about me, if they're willing to sexually violate me. I don't give a single fuck about them or how it would affect them to have their head go through a wall or how he's going to explain the injuries to his wife/ girlfriend.

    Being grateful for a dance does not require you to tolerate being sexually assaulted.

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Pfffff "grateful" for a rinky-dink $20? Yeah, all right.

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Vackra View Post
    Pfffff "grateful" for a rinky-dink $20? Yeah, all right.
    Lol yaaaa, and zero tips after I told them the rules and they broke them anyway. Ugh why are us newbies so dumb??

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trena View Post
    Lol yaaaa, and zero tips after I told them the rules and they broke them anyway. Ugh why are us newbies so dumb??
    Bc it takes time to re-programme ourselves from the 'bend over backwards to please every1' mentality most females are socialised for from birth, & replace it w/ a more practicality-centred M.O. Sm girls figure that out sooner, others later, still others nvr.

    Re: my 'grow a backbone' comment from upthread (btw I tell lots of ppl that, & not just on SW!) :

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trena View Post
    Lol yaaaa, and zero tips after I told them the rules and they broke them anyway. Ugh why are us newbies so dumb??
    I give a three strikes system. First time they break the rules, I guide them away and tell them I know it's exciting, but we have to stay within the rules. Second strike is usually I DON'T YOU NOT TO FUCKING DO THAT. NO. Third strike, I walk away. Get your money up front.

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Vackra View Post
    I give a three strikes system. First time they break the rules, I guide them away and tell them I know it's exciting, but we have to stay within the rules. Second strike is usually I DON'T YOU NOT TO FUCKING DO THAT. NO. Third strike, I walk away. Get your money up front.
    Well now that's were on the topic, I have 2 more questions. What do you do with customers that don't speak English? How do you communicate? AND what about those old old old men, with walkers and all? I don't want to break the guy!

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