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Thread: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

  1. #26
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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trena View Post
    What do you do with customers that don't speak English? How do you communicate? AND what about those old old old men, with walkers and all? I don't want to break the guy!
    When dealing w/ non-English speakers: Have two pairs of eyes in the back of your head instead of just one. Get paid b4 doing anything. Dance super defencively. Also, you will find that many foreign-born customers really do have a better grasp of English than they let on, esp when dealing w/ a dancer like you who apparently still has the big blinking 'I'm too timid to stand up for myself' lights still flashing over her head. Also, body language. NO, along w/ DISRESPECT, are two concepts that translate seamlessly across all languages. If moving a guy's hands away on Strike One isn't an obvious enough message of Don't Do That, being more forceful in both speech & physicality will make it very clear that what he's doing is not ok.

    Old old old men, w/ walkers n all: Same as above. Besides, any person that intentionally violates your boundaries -- which, don't kid yourself, is exactly what's happening when a guy keeps trying to touch you after you've told him not to -- deserves to get put in his place. Reaching sm arbitrary stage of geezer-hood doesn't give these wankers a free pass to have their way w/ an unwilling girl in any shape or form.

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trena View Post
    Well now that's were on the topic, I have 2 more questions. What do you do with customers that don't speak English? How do you communicate? AND what about those old old old men, with walkers and all? I don't want to break the guy!
    "No" with a firm "no-no" finger hand gesture works. I'm multi-lingual and can usually get my point across well. Point to the areas you are ok with touching while nodding and saying yes. Then point to areas you don't want touched, head shaking and saying no. Everyone understands that. As for the old guys, who cares? They're old enough to know better anyway, don't give them a pass for being old.

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    When dealing w/ non-English speakers: Have two pairs of eyes in the back of your head instead of just one. Get paid b4 doing anything. Dance super defencively. Also, you will find that many foreign-born customers really do have a better grasp of English than they let on, esp when dealing w/ a dancer like you who apparently still has the big blinking 'I'm too timid to stand up for myself' lights still flashing over her head. Also, body language. NO, along w/ DISRESPECT, are two concepts that translate seamlessly across all languages. If moving a guy's hands away on Strike One isn't an obvious enough message of Don't Do That, being more forceful in both speech & physicality will make it very clear that what he's doing is not ok.

    Old old old men, w/ walkers n all: Same as above. Besides, any person that intentionally violates your boundaries -- which, don't kid yourself, is exactly what's happening when a guy keeps trying to touch you after you've told him not to -- deserves to get put in his place. Reaching sm arbitrary stage of geezer-hood doesn't give these wankers a free pass to have their way w/ an unwilling girl in any shape or form.
    Ok thanks being in Southern CA, there are a lot of Mexicans that can't speak English. So I don't bother with them but money is money

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    Featured Member SuperJa's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    Also, you will find that many foreign-born customers really do have a better grasp of English than they let on.
    So much this.

    And really, a firm NO and moving hands should cross all language barriers. He is just choosing to be a dick.

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trena View Post
    Well now that's were on the topic, I have 2 more questions. What do you do with customers that don't speak English? How do you communicate? AND what about those old old old men, with walkers and all? I don't want to break the guy!
    Everybody understands the word "no." It's pretty universal. If there's a huge language barrier and the guy is grabby, I'll have a Spanish speaker translate or I'll pass on the dance. I'm sure I can find $10 somewhere else. In reality, most immigrants and foreign travelers speak enough English to understand what they can and can't do. I use the whole "I don't speak English" stuff when panhandlers hit me up for whatever. It's a common thing.

    Old guys get the same treatment as young guys. Why should I treat someone who's ASSAULTING me any different, simply because he's older? Really, he should know better and have more self control.

    Seriously, why is this shit even an issue? Enforce your boundaries and protect yourself from being assaulted. Language barriers, age and whatever shouldn't change anything. I'll repeat myself: These men don't care about how you feel. They don't care if they hurt you. They don't care if you cry yourself to sleep or need therapy. They want to grab your boobs or finger your pussy and they don't give a single fuck how you feel about it. They don't care if you say no.

    Why the fuck do you care if they get hurt, get busted by their wife or otherwise have a bad experience? Leave the dance, kick the shit out of them or have a bouncer do it. But don't make excuses for them or spend a lot of time worrying about how to treat a sexual predator with kid gloves.

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  8. #31
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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Anycola,

    This thread is about preventing touching; do you have anything to contribute in terms of preventing touching? If not I suggest you refrain from posting; I find the tone of your comments unhelpful and accusatory at best. If you are unable to follow the rules of SW then I will ask a moderator to supervise the thread.

    This thread is not about:
    Dancers who allow touching will be prefered
    Customers will prefer to watch a stage over a non-touching dance.

    This may be the case in your experience but this is not the topic up for discussion: feel free to start your own thread with these topics and I'm sure you will get willing respondents.


    Other posting members, lets not derail the thread by getting hooked into these comments and starting a complete off topic discussion. Lets stay on the topic of preventing touching and ignore comments which are inapplicable. Please.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Put it on the club. I always tell them the club's been cracking down, and I cant afford to be "naughty". If they start touching, I just slide their hands away. Then I stop moving. I haven't had to leave yet. I've also started warning people that I coat my body in hand sanitizer. And actually doing so.

    I usually don't actually start enforcing until their hands get to my ass/boobs though. And if it's a back massage, I'll just let it happen. Even if it's kinda shitty. Because, sir drunk guy, I'm dancing.

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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by anyacolo View Post
    does your club not allow touching? or you just do not want to be touched?

    honestly i have never understood why a guy would by a lap dance if no touching is allowed, why not just watch the stage show for free?

    if you walked into a buffet restaurant and there were two buffet sections, one section you could eat for free, the other section you had to pay $20 to get in, but both sections/buffets had the exact same food, which one would you choose?
    Comparing women to inanimate objects? Gross. Had to get that out there.

    A lot of customers don't care about touching. The most money I made was in a no contact club where I had to wear pasties and full bottom panties, which I think proves something. They want female company and attention. It's not all about being able to touch or even see things, they are paying for your time and company and entertaining them.

    I've never been comfortable being touched by custies either and there's nothing wrong with that. Same to say, there's nothing wrong with dancers who are (assuming where they work allows that!) I think a lot of it depends on the club you work at. Find a club that has contact rules that fit with your boundaries because it's harder to compete if every other girl allows customers to touch. That being said, it's not IMPOSSIBLE. For instance, in LA most clubs are contact and it's hard to get around but if you play your cards right, know what to say, and are prepared to take possible losses, you can do it and make okay money as a dancer.

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  14. #34
    Featured Member SuperJa's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you keep the customers from touching you?

    Quote Originally Posted by MelissaRenee View Post
    . That being said, it's not IMPOSSIBLE. For instance, in LA most clubs are contact and it's hard to get around but if you play your cards right, know what to say, and are prepared to take possible losses, you can do it and make okay money as a dancer.
    Great post- some of my best customers have been ones that have just wanted to sit and chat, without even any stripping.

    There's no point in compromising your personal boundaries to make a little bit more money, because ultimately you're just going to burn out and not be able to work. If you can offer customers an entertaining experience and make them feel special without dances just turning into a grope fest, you'll do well wherever you work.

    Nothing against dancers working in contact areas who are comfortable with it. But for those who aren't, your mental health is more important than missing out on a few dances because of your personal boundaries. Never feel pressured to offer something just because other girls are doing it. You can train your customers if you choose to do so.

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