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Thread: Mom is getting abused by ex-husband

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    Veteran Member littlelizard's Avatar
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    Default Mom is getting abused by ex-husband

    My mother has a history of making bad decision, especially with men. Her most recent ex-husband broke up with her and kicked her out so now she's living with me. Last week she's goes and visits him (mind you I told her not to and to tell him to fuck off) and comes back the next few days with bruises on her face and arms. I was so mad I called that piece of shit of a man who is her ex-husband and cussed him out. I basically told him that he's a piece of shit, no one will ever love him except the person he hurts the most (my mom), and that he should of died as a child. His bigger brother beat him up really bad as a child and I wish his bigger brother beat him up so bad that he died. Yes I was very angry and I still wish he was dead. So then what happens? My mother yells at me! She gets mad at me for yelling at the man who beat her up! I'm completely dumbfounded. Right now I just came home from work and she's not at home. I know where she is, she's at her ex-husbands house. Can someone explain to me why she is doing this? Can someone help me prevent her from seeing him again? Can someone help me make her go to the police? I'm so angry right now I don't know what to do with myself.

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    Default Re: Mom is getting abused by ex-husband

    Sounds like your mother is a co dependant and this guy is a long term abuser, which probably stems from his childhood and growing up with abuse.Co dependants love to take care of abusers and make excuses for them. It gives them a sense of pride that they are taking care of the abuser

    No one can make your mom stop seeing him again,and no one can make her go to the police. Your best bet would be to read up on this subject, and try to get your mom to read it as well. Try to get her into counseling. Good luck and sorry this happened to you mom. I hope she is ok.

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    Default Re: Mom is getting abused by ex-husband

    People who need help frequently refuse to accept it.

    You cannot make her get help.

    If you have knowledge of abuse, you report it to police. Either they will take a complaint or they won’t.

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    Default Re: Mom is getting abused by ex-husband

    Yes trying to do too much might scare your mom into becoming more distant. The best thing to do is offer her your love and support and for her to know she always has the option to come to you and leave him. Reality is most woman have to leave 4-7 times before they leave for good in abusive relationships according to statistics.

    Don't push her back into his arms....I know it's hard to resist she's your mom but it could hurt her worse in the end..also she'll be afraid to come to you next time in fear you'll attack him
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    Default Re: Mom is getting abused by ex-husband

    Thank you for all of your replies. She came back with no new bruises so I'm assuming he didn't beat her, which is a step forward. However, she's still angry with me, which is really aggravating. She was abusive to me as a child and now she's being abused, so there's a cycle. She's definitely a co-dependent. She was a co-dependent with her other ex-husband, who was also a raging alcoholic. if her ex-husband hits her again, I'll contact the police. Again, thank you for all of your responses and giving me the opportunity to vent out.

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