I will try to keep this as short as possible because if I write down everything ive experienced/symptoms over the past 3 weeks, this post would be never-ending.
Basically, I have had panic disorder with agoraphobia, dissociation disorder and depression for just over 4 years now but have been doing relatively well this year, getting out by myself and doing more than ive been able to do for a long time. I have had a pretty stressful year in regards to a romantic situation and have spent most days pretty stressed, upset, crying, angry etc. A couple of months ago I started getting panicky a lot more than usual and assumed it was from the stress of the situation I was in and then about 3 weeks ago I started to have tingling sensations all over my body for about a day and then something just snapped. I started feeling like I was stuck in a panic attack for days, my anxiety was extremely high and I felt absurdly dissocciated. After a week of feeling like this I ended up having a really bad depressive episode where my mood was so low it was unbearable, it was like a dark cloud was hovering over me and I couldnt stop crying, couldnt eat, couldnt function. Luckily that episode only lasted for about 6 hours (Im not sure how long I wouldve lasted with feeling like that) but over the past 2 weeks ive been in and out of these depressive episodes, although slightly milder but still absolutely miserable and everything has been off whack. My anxiety is really high, I cant concentrate on anything, my thoughts seem jumbled, I feel confused, time seems distorted, I cant think straight and my dissociation is out of this world intense. I feel like ive been taken out of my world and placed in a world that looks identical to my old one. Its the most odd feeling and I havent been able to barely leave the house because things feel so unreal. I feel like a different person and my memory is shot to shit, the past 3 weeks are a blur. My counsellor thinks that because of the stress ive endured this year, my brain has pretty much just stopped because it cant cope with anymore. Apparently this is a nervous breakdown but I had no idea this is what a breakdown was like (if it is one). This is the most intence, frightening thing ive ever experienced. I feel like im on the brink of losing touch with reality or going mad and that im going to be stuck in this forever.
Has anyone experienced something similar to this? Was it a nervous breakdown? Really keen to hear any of your guys stories, this is the most loneliest experience of my life :-(



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