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Thread: Large Tip Guilt

  1. #1
    Member annafang's Avatar
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    Default Large Tip Guilt

    Hi everyone!

    Been lurking for a while but here is my first post.

    Just started camming on CB then going to start MFC soon. Only been on 3 times but already made just under 15k tokens. I actually really enjoy it as I have a naturally outgoing and friendly personality and genuinely enjoy talking to people. I barely even get nude just chat with people lol - going to start focus more on doing actual shows though.

    My only problem so far has been feeling a bit of guilt over high tips. So far I have two guys who both tip a lot. One guy actually had to log on to more accounts as he was locked out from buying more tokens on his first. He made 4 accounts total to keep buying tokens to tip me. He has already given me all his details so I stalked him a little on social media - hes only 20, just a kid and looks like a sweety. I feel really bad he has spent so much money on me! Do you guys ever feel like this?

  2. #2
    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: Large Tip Guilt

    ^ Yes, but then I go shopping and buy all my cares away.... Seriously though, he is an adult and if he doesn't spend it on you then he will spend it on someone else. Enjoy it and let him enjoy you.
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  3. #3
    Member annafang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Large Tip Guilt

    Glad I'm not the only one then. I thought maybe its something that will go away with experience?

  4. #4
    Senior Member kitty_frost's Avatar
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    Default Re: Large Tip Guilt

    This is something I struggle with too, since I have so many problems asking people for even a dollar in real life. Its hard having a job where you need to specifically ask people to spend money on you. especially for me, sometimes I feel awful and manipulative. As Flickdreams said already, you need to remember that all these guys are on the sites to spend money or freeload off you. If they want to spend money, let them appreciate you! As long as you recognize them, and make them feel special the next time they're in your room (by remembering their name, what they had last time, even a few details about their life that you talked about) then you're already giving them more than what they paid for and more than they hoped to get.
    In my experience, the only guys who will feel bitter about spending lots of money on you are the guys who figured that paying you lots is the same as buying you for life. They get upset that you won't be at their beck and call and try to make you feel guilty for it.
    Though all the guilt probably won't go away, you'll get better at managing it, and turning it off when you have no need for it. Remember, some 20 year olds are spending that same amount of money on getting high constantly. Every young dumb kid is going to be spending too much money on something, so it may as well be someone who actually seems to care and appreciate it like you do!

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    Veteran Member Violet_Z's Avatar
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    Default Re: Large Tip Guilt

    When I feel bad about this 8 go out drinking with my guy friends and watch them spend way too much on alcohol. It reminds me that no matter what men are gonna spend a lot of money on stupid things.

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  7. #6
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    Default Re: Large Tip Guilt

    I used to feel that way.. Now I see them for who they really are , so I don't care if they go broke!..They did it to themselves... Not to mention most of these guys are very spoiled and entitled to a womans body and time and have Zero respect.. You'll get over it after you been on cam for awhile...

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    Featured Member Rina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Large Tip Guilt

    Should Nordstorms feel guilty when I buy $500 shoes?
    This guy has the money to spend and if he doesn't spend it on you he will spend it on someone else.
    I blew tons of cash on partying when I was a student. He'll probably just ask Mom and Dad for a loan or he makes enough to afford what he's doing. Every 20 something isn't struggling.
    I don't feel any guilt about what people do with their money.
    Also some guys take pride in spending on you and they enjoy it. Why feel guilty about someone else enjoying themselves?
    We provide a non-essential service. It's not food it's not water, you won't die without a cam session. They can watch free shows the make a choice to tip.

    Most importantly we need to remember just because it's a lot of money to us that doesn't mean it's a lot to our customers.
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    Default Re: Large Tip Guilt

    I'd only feel guilty if the person spending oodles of money was somehow mentally incapacitated (like on the level of needing a conservator) otherwise feel blessed.

    Is this guy dumb for blowing his allowance his parents probably give him? I won't say but I do know you can't tell an adult how to spend their money and perhaps sexual healing is so imporTant that he's willing to spend. For all you know he could be a 20 year old with a trust fund or his own business. Some young people are already wealthy.

    Just be thankful. Otherwise negative feelings about money such as guilt will not serve you in becoming financially rich.
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  12. #9
    Featured Member Aurora14's Avatar
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    Default Re: Large Tip Guilt

    Years ago, my friend had a customer ask his parents for a loan so he could buy her new boobs. They gave it to him, in full.

    Smile, thank him, treat him a little better than the rest (don't let him step out of his boundries though). Just enjoy him spending money on you now. Customers like these don't last forever.

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    Default Re: Large Tip Guilt

    Once you turn 18 you are free to spend your money the way you please. Always stand your ground and know you deserve the best. If someone tips you big thank them and always always know your limits. Try not to feel guilty bc some ppl will play with your emotions and dangle tokens over your head to meet them or do more for them. Dont let anyone turn the tables on you! So don't turn the table on yourself. you deserve it. We as cam girls, deserve to be treated well. And aurora is right, these customers don't last forever he won't be the first or the last! Keep smiling.

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    Default Re: Large Tip Guilt

    Sounds like a spoiled rich kid, they are the best! Enjoy him, the money and know that you deserve every penny. He is a full grown adult and can absolutely make his own choices.
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    God/dess minniesoporno's Avatar
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    Default Re: Large Tip Guilt

    So basically we complain when we are not making money and now we are complaining that we are getting too much money.

    The whole point of camming and going through all this hassle of putting ourselves online and - building paranoia of being outted or losing our future jobs or education is so that we can make money.
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    God/dess audritwo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Large Tip Guilt

    Most customers have a shelf life, they move on to someone else. So enjoy it when it lasts. It's his money, and he can be as frivolous with it as he wants.

    I want to echo what xCamLovex said, never let these dudes dangle high tips over your head like a carrot. Just because they spent x amount of tokens one day doesn't give the authority to expect more from you. You have to set limits and boundaries. Always be in control of your room. Never be afraid to say no! If a customer who spent a lot on you wants to push your limits that you are uncomfortable with, This will help keep your sanity.





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    Featured Member Kitcatt's Avatar
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    Default Re: Large Tip Guilt

    I've had customers that I've felt uncomfortable taking their money. But that was because one was mentally incapacitated and living in a group home and the other had PTSD and barely left the house. Hey, I'm human, sometimes its complicated. I just do them the favor of being honest with them that we're never going to meet and I am involved with someone else and that this is a PERFORMANCE.

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    Default Re: Large Tip Guilt

    Quote Originally Posted by audritwo View Post
    Most customers have a shelf life, they move on to someone else. So enjoy it when it lasts. It's his money, and he can be as frivolous with it as he wants.

    I want to echo what xCamLovex said, never let these dudes dangle high tips over your head like a carrot. Just because they spent x amount of tokens one day doesn't give the authority to expect more from you. You have to set limits and boundaries. Always be in control of your room. Never be afraid to say no! If a customer who spent a lot on you wants to push your limits that you are uncomfortable with, This will help keep your sanity.
    Yes audri.

    Another point i'd like to make is...customers should also know their place. NO ONE should ever waste your time...you are online to work. In my early cam career, i was so excited to be tipped that long after customers would tip me i'd still shower them with attention. Then, I realized they werent tipping consistently or at all and they felt it was okay because they tipped me in the past. Always put the vibes out there that as long as they are good to you...you will be good to them.

  23. #16
    Veteran Member scarlettbelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Large Tip Guilt

    I have never felt guilty about how much money I make. What we do is HARD WORK! Would you feel guilty for making that much at a 9-5 job? Don't discredit yourself. You're providing a service (entertainment) and they are paying you for it.

    Never doubt your own value. Guys will walk all over you if you do.


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  25. #17
    God/dess kortneykay's Avatar
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    Default Re: Large Tip Guilt

    No. It's my job. It would be like me feeling guilty over getting a bonus at a vanilla job. I do have slight guilt when a customer tips in free chat and I immediately get taken into a private from another guy but it's the nature of the beast and that 1st come 1st serve mentality.

    As for the 20 yr old and creating multiple accounts I'd be careful with that. I've had a friend that almost lost her CB account because of fraud. Never feel guilty for any amount you're given. You work hard for your income and on 100% commission. It could be life's way of over compensating from a shitty day you had previously.




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  27. #18
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    Default Re: Large Tip Guilt

    I do feel guilty, but for me it's different. I advertise myself as being single, when i've actually been married for 12 years lol. So I feel guilty sometimes when I have regulars who have tipped high amounts over the last couple years and continue to do so, all because they hope one day I will fall in love with them. Sometimes I just want to let them know i'm married but I know they will no longer be interested because their interest is strictly that they think they could somehow meet me one day. I found no answers to this problem, other than remember you are doing this for the money and if they don't want to spend it there is plenty of free porn on the internet they are choosing to go to a pay site.

  28. #19
    Veteran Member RaineyLane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Large Tip Guilt

    I sometimes deal with this. Had one guy tip me $500 and later he said he was in Africa and spent all his money for the month on me. He also could have been lying to get a reaction out of me. There's been a few custies that triggered my guilt reaction for various reasons. One guy alluded that he was in a bit of financial trouble from "this" while we in a 30 minute exclusive.

    At the end of the day, they are adults and it's their money. They CHOOSE how they spend it. We are not holding them at gunpoint at their ATM. They are on their computers and the CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE to press the button to tip or start private and they CHOOSE HOW MUCH THEY SPEND. If they get themselves into trouble because of this, it's not our problem or fault. The responsibility is theirs and I try not to worry about them. I have my own responsibilities and need to stay focused on my own goals!

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    Default Re: Large Tip Guilt

    I am extremely grateful to be living in a country where adults can spend their money any which way they please. If I ever have an ounce of doubt, I just have to recall any conversation I ever had with a refugee or immigrant who'd fled from a dictatorship.
    It's the free market at work and cam modeling is an activity where you are well-placed to be the ultimate capitalist!

  30. #21
    Member annafang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Large Tip Guilt

    Thanks so much for all the replies everyone!!

    I am sure he would just be spending it on someone/something else and I am glad he has chosen me. I hope at least the attention I have given him has made him feel good

    Great advice to set boundaries, I have definitely been making it all clear in my room who is running the show.

    You guys are awesome!!

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