Some of us have talked about self improvement ideas and routines in other threads.
Share something recent that's been a " break through " mentally / self improvement wise for you!





Some of us have talked about self improvement ideas and routines in other threads.
Share something recent that's been a " break through " mentally / self improvement wise for you!
Last edited by carmen_b; 09-19-2015 at 11:36 AM.




I read this quote the other day about not focusing on whether you will be successful, but on how you will be successful. I thought that was pretty swell.





^ Nice. YES , ASSUME success and just figure out HOW !
I didn't know how much eating the right foods and what a strict diet could do for your body! It is far more healthy and going back to sugary foods like, cookies, soda, milk, wheat, high chol/carbs brings back a very tired, weak and fatty feeling that I have been able to avoid. Even foods that people think are good for them as diet based can be unhealthy in small quantities. (I shriek at how I ate in the past, its hard to think about) Temptation is very difficult and as you cut junk food out of your diet those foods end up tasting pretty damn good! One cookie ends up being 2 cookies and before you know it you are standing over a trash can debating on throwing them out, then your roommate bakes more. I found you have to bite your tongue and look the other way with self control. Working out steadily everyday has also made huge improvements and I never thought I would smile to my own health, the difference is alarming. I developed a disease that needed to be controlled very closely to avoid severe consequences, I've never felt better!
I have noticed a difference in my sleep, digestion, weakness and fatigue (which has vanished), skin is clear and I just started to introduce new supplements like Omega 3, Probiotic Acidophilus, D3 and Chanca Piedra for kidney and liver function.



Super recent mental breakthrough is:
As I love myself I only want to give myself love. When i drink, smoke, eat bad food, etc all those things are not nourishing me, so I am purposefully not loving myself, because not nourishing myself is just hurting my body. As I do love myself I need to nourish myself, so I think to myself that 'i love myself more than i want to eat bad food or drink'.
Thus far it's working well. I had banned myself from drinking because i can't ever stop at my limit of two. I think thinking these loving thoughts consciously and repetitively will really help me in all facets of my life so I won't be tempted.




Just this morning, I had a mental breakthrough. I was making my breakfast and feeling a little lonely. I've been working a lot lately, not just as a stripper but in my real estate business, too. This has the effect of social isolation and too much time focusing on myself, my looks, my sales pitch, my skills, and just generally being self absorbed as part of working so much.
I popped my bagel in the toaster and began to think about how many people helped me make my breakfast this morning. Someone I will never meet, harvested the wheat. Some I will never meet, worked in the factory that made the bagels. Someone I will never meet, loaded the bagels into a delivery truck. Someone I will never meet, drove the truck to the store. Someone I will never meet, stocked the store shelves. The cashier, whom I did meet, quickly and efficiently assisted me with my purchase, but now I cannot tell you what that person looked like. Perhaps I've seen him/her before and really paid zero attention to whom I was handing my money.
Someone who I will never meet, built the toaster I used to warm my bagel. Someone I will never meet, makes sure electricity service is always available to my home. Someone I will never meet, made the plate where I put my breakfast. Someone I will never meet, makes sure that I have clean tap water available to wash my dishes.
Ultimately thousands, if not millions of individuals, were involved in helping me today to simply have breakfast. They don't know me and yet they still work tirelessly to nourish me, and that has me feeling a deep sense of love and gratitude. I am not alone. I am loved.
Now I am looking at my life in terms of how am I helping others? I help the overwhelmed home buyer or seller achieve their goals. I help the lonely customer feel a little less lonely with my companionship. My presence is necessary for both businesses to thrive, as cooperation to meet goals is necessary. I am grateful to the customers who tip well. I'm grateful for the club. I'm grateful that I live in a town where being a dancer isn't considered just slightly better than being pedophile. I'm grateful for my internet access that allows me to share all of this with all of you!
No, I'm not using psychedelic drugs or molly or whatever. I just stopped for a moment to think about how much help I receive every day from total strangers, many of whom are working for very low wages. They do these things for me! FOR ME!
Maybe next time, when you feel all alone, just stop and think about how many people have helped make your existence possible. And as they help you, you are also helping them. We all rely on each other and need each other.
Even if you think no one cares, just think about all the people who conspired to feed you breakfast today.
Mine is so juicy and horrible that I can't share it with anyone.










2015 has definitely been the year of growth for me. I felt something stirring in myself because I was really "asleep" to life for years trying to overcome rough parts of my childhood. Depression, PTSD, ADD, DD, and using food to cope had completely taken over my mind and body. I would eat crap and sink into daysssss of depression just laying in bed 99% of the time. I've come to realize that I've been doing that (laying in bed, depressed) since around the time the sexual abuse stopped happening and that went on for years as I was around 13 when it finally stopped. Even when I finally left my abusive parent at 19 I was a walking, ticking, bomb.
My breakthrough came a few months ago listening to positive youtube affirmations. I was so depressed and disconnected from myself and surroundings but looking at me no one could even tell. When I applied those affirmations to my own life I started to see a change within a few days. I got off my ass, fueled myself with nutritious foods, water, and exercise, and a more positive go-getter mind set.
I've slunk back a time or two but waking up daily knowing that I have goals to exceed and positive messages placed all over my bedroom to encourage me to keep pushing is what I enjoy most. Of course the weight loss is a bonus and I'm really loving the resultsIt's going to be a long journey to self-love and acceptance but I'm looking forward to it. I feel this is the first time that I've really been able to take control of my destiny and not just live with a shell of a person who's innocence was stolen from them. Some people don't understand the true struggles of a victim of multiple abuse. It's hard to keep pushing. *trigger* When you've been neglected, raped, sexually abused, and beaten for more than half your life it's hard to piece your life together once you're independent so I'm so very proud that I'm still surviving and striving for excellence within my self and my surroundings.
Last edited by kortneykay; 10-14-2015 at 08:48 AM.
Believe In Your Brand





@KK-not sure if you were ok with your post being quoted, so I won't. But I totally get it. Mine is similar. I was badly bullied, neglected, emotionally abused, and raped four times. I found myself hurting myself as others had, to convince myself it wasn't that bad. It was, and no one is allowed to mistreat me, including me. No jobs with abusive supervisors, no friendships or relationships where I give more than I get, and no drinking to excess-and driving-endangering myself and hundreds of others. I deserve excellent treatment and will take no less. I also applaud myself for not letting the way I was treated turn me into an asshole. If I'm one of the abused that becomes the abuser, the bad guys win. I've spent the majority of my vanilla career in the medical field, helping those who can't help themselves. I win.





^ This is great because many victims ( you can see why ) end up abusing others. If you choose the higher / healthier road, you are breaking the negative cycle.


You and SweetJulia are dead on with that. My SO and I had both gotten out of horrible abusive relationships and were really awful to each other for months into our relationship, but neither of us could bring ourselves to leave (when it was good, it was perfect). Then (and where the break through came) I overdosed on nicotine, and had to spend days in the hospital, days I don't remember courtesy of the coma they put me in. When I did finally regain consciousness, all I wanted was my SO, I quickly realized that life's to short to be treated badly, or to treat some one I love badly.
It ended up being enough for us to sit down and really talk about our problems, and why we were so awful to each other, and it turned out that we were really both just scared. We expected the other to be terrible so we were being terrible.





My husband and I have spoken about that recently /\
"Expecting the other to be terrible"; I have fear of neglect and abandonment... When I'm not aware it can be the underlying feeling that drives my thoughts and actions, finds evidence to support any suspicion.
Steven Covey has a 7habits book, one of the habits relates to this point hubbie and I were listening to the audiobook this afternoon and when the point was explained I could step by step relate to the thought process.
Its helpful to constantly be surrounding yourself with highly conscious people: A great audiobook while driving can be that!
KourtneyK, your post was tremendously helpful, which you tube vids do you listen to as mentioned in your post?
This topic is awesome. Since everybody is being so brave I'll share too.
A couple months ago things happened, another bad relationship gone wrong, but this one was different and it went terribly wrong. It landed me back with my mother, on the opposite coast, near nothing I'm used to (like good mass transit and diversity is practically non-existant here), and near no one else for support. (Thank goodness for her).
Anywho, I decided to let everyone go and focus on me instead. Changed my number, my email, got rid of all my social media pages, radio silence on the people front and ...for someone that's been abused and neglected for most of their life, craving attention and kindness from anyone, it was a big deal to say "enough" to all those people I thought I needed.
I'm taking time for me to trust in myself to do well for me. (That sentence was a lot of "me"! Lol) I'm not used to me being enough, but I'm realizing I'm worth it. I'm talented and a great person and I feel silly for all the crap I let people (especially guys) pull with me.
So, it's getting better. I'm becoming more and more self reliant and I don't feel like I need to let people into my life to be OK.
I'm enough.





My breakthrough came when I realized that homelessness molded me into a better woman. Before, I was just a weak woman feeling sorry for herself because of my lack of proper success. But being hungry, helpless, physical neglected, and hopeless for 11 months taught me that I want total financial control over my life. Homelessness started this drive inside of me to become more ambitious, tougher, stronger, and more aggressive about my life. My need for financial control and comfort was born during my homelessness period. Sex work is my first ticket to financial freedom. I banned myself from being lazy,a crybaby,a glutton, or getting too emotional attached to clients including sugar daddies![]()





Sure thing, doll! Louise Hay. I also enjoy watching Actualized.org he has youtube videos as well. Tony Robins too. The link below is my favorite. Great to listen to before bedtime but have some tissue nearby!
https://youtu.be/6dcaCc3bIA8
Believe In Your Brand



I need to stop friendzoning myself. Nice guy too much gets no where
I know this has little to do with mental break throughs, but recently I have been feeling so much healthier! Have stuck with my diet, even worse nearing Halloween and the candy cravings have been crazy! One of the bigger break throughs is switching from scrubbers and store bought body washes to using Grapefruit off a tree. My skin has been velvet soft with a nice glow, firm I can hardly see any pores, whatever acne I had before is also now gone. Its been hard to avoid body wash, shampoo and summers eve but haven't so far. I use Coconut oil when out of the shower on my skin and hair at night. The benefits are awesome and my hair is getting stronger! I also drove to my nearest club recently, which is big since I have had that fear of driving. It now involves going other places!
Last edited by BambiCutie; 10-20-2015 at 08:35 AM.





One things I am working on A LOT lately is to not get into an anger spiral when my ( vanilla ) business is moving slow. It's hard for me to see that " I'm " ok when the business is feeling bogged.
When I get health insurance again ( very soon ) , I will begin working with a therapist again on this issue in particular.





Well, good!^ I personally got some health help I needed very recently, right now concentrating on the physical.
This may not be a popular statement on here, but I do some meditation, yoga, & read the Scriptures, I have a book of quotes.
Keeping some kind of routine, esp. on a reg basis helps me too. I'm really determined to straighten up a few areas I let slide, organizing wise, & not all cause of laziness. Although sometimes I stop myself, & let it be. Yesterday, I went out in nature for awhile, this helps center me. Walking's good, some swimming, but I def need more working out.
When you get older, you begin to see that negative emotions greatly aftect physical health, & it's so not worth it!
Anyway, good luck hope this makes sense.
MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP
-Eartha Kitt





^ I'm getting more into meditation and " mind clearing " types of things like turning my phone off and being in nature even if just for a few hours.
I like your idea about keeping things like organizing up. I see a noticeable difference in my energy levels if the house is clean and organized and if my work like is SUPER organized. It takes times to keep it up but it is VERY worth it as you mentioned.
I am continuing to force myself to eat healthy and get gentle exercise.
One thing I want to work on with the therapist or Dr. when I go back is that I feel " stuck " in a tired body a lot of time. I'm trying to identify some of things that are not working anymore.





Yea, I hear that.^ I need to as well, going to go, just not right now. Also, I forgot to mention I was going to 12 step groups, but I kinda stopped. You do have to find a good group, tho, some are just shitty
MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP
-Eartha Kitt
Bookmarks