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Thread: The Urge To Procreate

  1. #1
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    Default The Urge To Procreate

    Im not talking about reckless spreading of seeds or as rd puts it 'cum and run' but do you have a desire of carefully creating or expanding your family. Do you ever have the urge to make a baby?

    If so, what does your future baby look like? What type of person would you go half on a baby with?
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    I get the urge to have a baby all the time, I had it since I was 17. I know better of course.

    I want like 6 kids lmao they don't have to be biological I just want a lot of little people to take care of. I don't know what kind of guy I want, probably someone healthy, responsible, and not crazy/abusive.


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    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    What would "future you" want you to do right now?




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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    ^^^do you mean you'd be cool with a couple step kids or adopted kids or either one?

    I'm not going to lie I don't know if I can do step kids. I would be cool with 1 step kid as long as I don't have to deal with some crazy ex wife or baby mama.

    I would have more than 3 kids if either myself or my future husband was rolling in dough. Gotta be somewhat wealthy to support a large family.
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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    Every once in a while I would think about pregnancy and child birth as a kind of challenge. Probably similar to how one thinks about training for a marathon or something. It's the 18 years after childbirth that keeps me from going there.

    Even if you are making good money, unless you have a huge amount in the bank, good incomes can disappear overnight. At the moment, we are seeing entire industries being wiped out on the planet. Twenty years ago, being a computer coder was a great job and pretty much guaranteed a 6 figure income. Now, competent coders in 3rd world nations are working for $5 an hour.

    Since technology is moving so fast today, even being a doctor isn't a guarantee of a stable job. Only have children if you are just passionate about parenthood. Kids are a financial drain, unlike in generations past when children represented security for families. Gen X is the 1st generation where having kids meant a net financial loss for their parents.

    Only have babies if you are passionate about parenthood. If you are even a little bit skeptical about whether you'll find joy in parenthood, then skip it until you can feel that overwhelming desire to have a family. Most people won't feel that way, and a lot of people are coming out as having regretted their decision to become parents. Having a baby is a huge decision and responsibility.

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    ^^^youre right about the financial considerations. But if your future partner or current partner or yourself is wealthy and you don't have to worry about finances .... Now what?

    I agree also the 18+ year commitment to each kid is no joke. Kids are not like a husband you can divorce and end a commitment. This is why I picture having a team of people helping me with that commitment to make it easier and more enjoyable. Did you ever watch housewives where Camille Grammer had nannies and a house manager? And allegedly she didn't even physically give birth she had a surrogate. Hmmm. I'm kinda interested in that.
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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    ^^^this would be so great. Some Hunter-gatherer tribes are this way. You really need a group of people like a clan to raise kids. Everyone has different talents. Some people are entertaining, some people like to cook, some like to teach.

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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    I have friends that are raising their kids this way (with nannies and other employees). It doesn't seem to be working out for them too well. The kids don't seem to learn respect for others. I think because the people mostly raising them are the kids' employees, they can always get them fired. The help then doesn't create good boundaries for the kids. I have lots of stories but basically the kids end up entitled and messed up.

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    Quote Originally Posted by NoRegrets View Post
    I have friends that are raising their kids this way (with nannies and other employees). It doesn't seem to be working out for them too well. The kids don't seem to learn respect for others. I think because the people mostly raising them are the kids' employees, they can always get them fired. The help then doesn't create good boundaries for the kids. I have lots of stories but basically the kids end up entitled and messed up.
    Well of course there has to be a balance. If parents want to have a good relationships with their family members then they have to make some effort themselves and have a genuine interest. No parent is perfect and everyone has ups and downs but this is at least an 18 year commitment so better make the best of it.

    Seems to me the people you are referring to here are at the extreme end.

    And what about procreation urges? Does that urge ever strike you or has that ship sailed for you?
    Last edited by miss.a.p1600; 09-29-2015 at 08:01 AM.
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    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    I would have more than 3 kids if either myself or my future husband was rolling in dough. Gotta be somewhat wealthy to support a large family.
    ...Or very poor. There is a lot of support out there for low income families, including free health care and food programs (SNAP and WIC along with private food banks). If you live in an urban area, then you can add subsidized transportation services. Some families also even qualify for subsidized housing, though from what I've heard there are long wait lists for those.

    The people who have it the worst, in some respects, are those in the middle. They make too much money to qualify for all of those goodies, but too little to save or spend on extras since all of their income is needed to support themselves and their children.

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    ...Or very poor. There is a lot of support out there for low income families, including free health care and food programs (SNAP and WIC along with private food banks). If you live in an urban area, then you can add subsidized transportation services. Some families also even qualify for subsidized housing, though from what I've heard there are long wait lists for those.

    The people who have it the worst, in some respects, are those in the middle. They make too much money to qualify for all of those goodies, but too little to save or spend on extras since all of their income is needed to support themselves and their children.
    Huh? Living off the government is not the business. I mean that's like worst of the worst case scenarios. I couldn't see myself personally living off the government but hey people that do I think should only do that temporary in emergencies.

    I personally think it would suck to have a lot of kids and be poor. Yes there are the rare cases of rags to riches but in general, it seems like as a parent you'd doom your next generation to your poor habits, in this case, managing and earning money.
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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    Miss, I agree with everything you said and I cannot imagine living that way. Unfortunately, however, many do. We have over 20 million kids in this country relying upon SNAP benefits and over 40 million who received free or heavily subsidized health care through CHIPS and medicaid in 2014. Given that our total population of children in the U.S. was only about 74 million in 2014, those are some scary stats.

    Now in all fairness, the medicaid/CHIPS numbers are probably over-reported as they are "ever enrolled" during the year, but you can at least bet that the same 20 million kids receiving SNAP were also receiving health insurance benefits (and likely more since health coverage is easier to get than SNAP). So over 25% of children in this country received both food and health insurance subsidies. One quarter of all of the children in this country. And while I'm sure that there are some who drop off and others who join, I'm also sure that there is a large baseline group that remains in both programs year over year.

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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    i very much *respectfully* disagree with the idea that in this day and age ( in the 80s/90s it was quite different ill give you that) that being very poor with kids just get you a bunch of free stuff. at least not in my state. the waiting lists for houses are at least 5 years long, so you better hope there's an open shelter or you're SOL. TANF ( cash assistance) you can only get for 5 years in your entire life-time and you have to show that you did 20 hours per week of job search to get the tiny pittance they allow you or you are shut off. food stamps are WIC are a great help, but its really just to help subsidize and can take awhile. in a 3 person household, we were turned away because at 8-9 bucks an hour my bf was "making too much". they count your gross income, not net. living off the govt alone isn't a fun, easy ride where you just get to sit back anymore, unless you are cheating the system. as for the health insurance, i'm not even going to get into how fucked the medical system is on its own.

    but to answer the OP, yes i feel like that everyday! my oldest is 8 so i'm having baby fever now that i'm in a stable long term relationship with our own home. but my first pregnancy was really really horrible, the birth was traumatizing, and its what's holding me back besides the money aspect. also the thought of possibly having it mess my body up to the point where i can't dance is scary too. i know its not probable, but its possible..so i intend on getting pregnant when i'm done stripping

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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    And what about procreation urges? Does that urge ever strike you or has that ship sailed for you?
    I love kids. Nothing is better than a house filled with kids. I'm still in my 40s so I don't feel any physical urges to have kids yet, but I do want them. Finding the right person to start a family with is an important first step. Until then I work with disadvantaged/disabled kids.

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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    Im not talking about reckless spreading of seeds or as rd puts it 'cum and run' but do you have a desire of carefully creating or expanding your family. Do you ever have the urge to make a baby?

    If so, what does your future baby look like? What type of person would you go half on a baby with?
    You know, I have always been curious as to what a future me would look like. Asian/mix, petite and sadly cursed with unnecessary body hair..lets hope its a male! Due to chemical rape and molestation, it is very difficult for me to hug children or being around kids around the ages 2-7. It brings back heavy flashes and I always find myself pondering off, its a weird and uncomfortable feeling that I have been on and off extensive therapy for. The person I see having a child with would know who I genuinely am on the inside. Eating food together, being able to have conversations, smile together, relax and play video games and just in general enjoying life while it lasts. I wouldn't have to question his devotion.

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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    I know that I am the odd one out of this one but I've never really had the urge....people would keep telling me that I'd have it someday but I am in my 40s now still nothing.

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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    Quote Originally Posted by NoRegrets View Post
    Until then I work with disadvantaged/disabled kids.
    Volunteering?

    I never had a very strong biological need to procreate but I really want kids. Like, really really bad. To the extent that when I am with my niece or nephew I imagine them as my own (not gonna steal them and run away). I don't want a baby but a toddler+ kid to do stuff with, teach, etc. The only thing I'm really confident about is that I would be a great mom. But I have a pretty bad track record on relationships (and it seems most men are set on biological). In any case if nothing else I'm smart enough to not have any until I could properly take care of them and I don't think I could swing a kid solo until my 40s.
    "There are different kinds of darkness. There is darkness that frightens, the darkness that soothes, the darkness that is restful. There is the darkness of lovers, and the darkness of assassins. It becomes what the bearer wishes it to be, needs it to be. It is not wholly bad or good."
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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    ...Or very poor. There is a lot of support out there for low income families, including free health care and food programs (SNAP and WIC along with private food banks). If you live in an urban area, then you can add subsidized transportation services. Some families also even qualify for subsidized housing, though from what I've heard there are long wait lists for those.

    The people who have it the worst, in some respects, are those in the middle. They make too much money to qualify for all of those goodies, but too little to save or spend on extras since all of their income is needed to support themselves and their children.
    you've obviously never been poor and had to rely on those services...we were living on about $15k a year at one point near Chicago...know how much SNAP we got to feed two adults and a new baby? About $200 a month. That barely covered his formula. Didn't pay for diapers, gas, rent or any of our bills. We still had to borrow money and food from my in laws to survive....and while we did get medicaid no doctors in our area would accept it so we had to drive 45 minutes away to take the baby to the doctor. Maybe some poor folks know how to work the system better than I did, but it was *almost* pointless . Thank god for the pole.

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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    I'm just worried about divorce. Of the dozens of friends I have that have been married, like a third of them are divorced already. The ones with no kids walk away and are dating in 6 months. They may get maudlin now and again, but they're fine. The ones with kids .... All, and I mean all they do is talk about court, bills, how's crazy or psychotic their ex is, how their poor kids are being ruined, etc. Their lives turn into a constant bitter battle. Even the ones that claim to be happy aren't really happy and usually they're just faking it. I know some people do ok but I haven't actually seen one.

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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    possible we could just focus on the op...
    "There are different kinds of darkness. There is darkness that frightens, the darkness that soothes, the darkness that is restful. There is the darkness of lovers, and the darkness of assassins. It becomes what the bearer wishes it to be, needs it to be. It is not wholly bad or good."
    - The Court of Mist and Fury

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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    Quote Originally Posted by lynn2009 View Post
    Volunteering?
    Sort of. I started a 501c3 a while ago that I run. It's a private foundation that helps kids. I've been really lucky in life so I like to give back.

    As for the OP, I don't think too much about what my future kids will look like. I just want them to be healthy and happy.

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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    Quote Originally Posted by wednesday86 View Post
    you've obviously never been poor and had to rely on those services...we were living on about $15k a year at one point near Chicago...know how much SNAP we got to feed two adults and a new baby? About $200 a month. That barely covered his formula. Didn't pay for diapers, gas, rent or any of our bills. We still had to borrow money and food from my in laws to survive....and while we did get medicaid no doctors in our area would accept it so we had to drive 45 minutes away to take the baby to the doctor. Maybe some poor folks know how to work the system better than I did, but it was *almost* pointless . Thank god for the pole.
    Wednesday, if you qualified for SNAP, then you should also have also qualified for WIC, which would have covered your formula (up to 800 ounces each month). I guess many poor folks DO know how to work the system better than you.

    As for the rest, I hear what you are saying and agree that it is nearly impossible to cover everything with government assistance, but it sure helps. The medical coverage alone is huge, even if you have to work to find a doctor, and many people can get most of the food they need using a combination of SNAP, WIC and local food banks. Keep in mind too that many of the people receiving these benefits also live in areas with public transportation and a subset even get housing subsidies. Now I'm not saying this is a great life, but we have tons of people limping along like this and it allows them to have children that they could not otherwise afford.

  39. #22
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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    ^^^i don't doubt some people game the system or know how to live with no responsibilities when they are fully capable of doing better. Even if Wednesday86 didn't know how or couldn't get more government benefits, she's prime example how one can use it temporarily in emergency situations then take initiative to earn her money legally.

    It Reminds me of that of the episode of sunny in Philadelphia where dee and Dennis quit their jobs at the bar to get on welfare (once they realized they'd get more money being on welfare then working at the bar). They end up getting drunk all day and going on crack to get paperwork necessary to prove drug recovery so they can get on welfare. it's hilarious on tv - you will cry laughing - but in real life, not so much. The crying will be giving up freedom and living in a lower class.

    Anyhow, I couldn't see myself procreating with anyone who would be okay with living off government assistance.
    Last edited by miss.a.p1600; 09-30-2015 at 11:34 AM.
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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    Yes, but I think that thought starts to creep into your head when you have done the fun stuff started to settle down and life is good. For a guy anyway. The trick seems to be finding someone you are attracted to who is at the same place.

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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    I want to procreate, just not for another few years 'cause I'm certainly not ready yet. I am generally attracted to white guys, and I myself am more or less mulatto to simplify things, dad is white (mostly Ukrainian) and my mom is mostly northern African / black mixed with a few things. I usually get mistaken for a tan Italian, Middle Eastern, or sometimes Latin but I often wear my hair straight...

    So, I could see my kids coming out tan and with brown or light brown wavy hair. Green eyes would be nice. But if these MLB players keep coming to my club and giving me money I might just end up with children who are half Dominican. hahaha. Jk (kinda - hey I can't predict the future )

    I want two kids; one boy, one girl. The man can get his balls snipped after that for all I care.
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  45. #25
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    Default Re: The Urge To Procreate

    ^^^^Excellent!

    I feel ya. I want kids like Paula Pattons son. I would love if my kids somehow came out with blonde, sandy, or red hair and looked like gap models. But if not that's okay too.

    If I wasn't scared sh*tless of the birthing process and my husband was wealthy I'd have 3 or 4. Otherwise I want at least one in the future.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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