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Thread: Cutting off/excluding a friend

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    Default Cutting off/excluding a friend

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    Last edited by somechick99; 07-19-2018 at 01:28 PM.

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    Default Re: Cutting off/excluding a friend

    You two sound more like frenimies to me? What you two have is not a true friendship. Friendship is supposed to be easy and breezy. If you feel like she is taking advantage of you then she probably is. Now I'm not saying you two need to have a showdown where it's all or nothing but I would start by keeping my distance and not expecting anything in return. It sucks being nice sometimes. But if you're in a position where you can pay your own bills AND help a friend from time to time... sounds like you're the one who's winning. You don't stop being who you are because other people can't get their shit together. But from now on out your home is closed to this particular person. Go out of town for Halloween and have fun even if she is around. And then after that I would start fazing her out of my life. I wouldn't do anything too dramatic. She knows she's not a good friend and probably won't ever repay you. So just go pop some bottles and don't even worry about her.

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    Default Re: Cutting off/excluding a friend

    Weight loss from bulimia does not make anyone hot; they generally have sallow skin and dry, stringy hair at best. If she is actually hot, then she didn't lose weight from bulimia. Agree with above poster I'm not getting "friend" vibes from your post. Even a guy can tell you don't really like her.

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    Default Re: Cutting off/excluding a friend

    Quote Originally Posted by Bahuba View Post
    Weight loss from bulimia does not make anyone hot; they generally have sallow skin and dry, stringy hair at best. If she is actually hot, then she didn't lose weight from bulimia. Agree with above poster I'm not getting "friend" vibes from your post. Even a guy can tell you don't really like her.
    I know for a fact it was a combo of drugs and bulimia. I've caught her throwing up after meals many times (different topic though). She does have saggy skin and stuff like you're saying but like I said she has a really nice face and it definitely did make her hot even if it's in a trashy way and her skin isn't the best.

    Duh I don't like her after all that happened. Did before though.

    Probably shouldn't have used the word "friend" in title but we used to be and idk what to call it lol
    Last edited by somechick99; 10-20-2015 at 09:55 AM.

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    Default Re: Cutting off/excluding a friend

    If she is as annoying as you've described, you will save your sanity by distancing yourself from her. Maybe you have a hard time cutting her out but if you gradually become "busy with work/school" you have a valid reason not to spend time with a shallow woman like her.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: Cutting off/excluding a friend

    You could either just vaguely respond to her requests to hang out for Halloween with "I'm going to be out of town on Halloween," and if she gets in your face about why you didn't tell her about/bring her to this party, just say that so-and-so invited you and you didn't want to be awkward by inviting other people without her permission. Otherwise, you could suck it up, bring her along, and find relief in the fact that it's a large group and huge party and you could probably just head into the crowd and ignore her most of the night if she gets annoying. You did say she's fun to go out with, so maybe Halloween wouldn't be that bad. Just avoid spending quality "friend time" during things that aren't parties from here on out.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

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    Default Re: Cutting off/excluding a friend

    Quote Originally Posted by somechick99 View Post
    I know for a fact it was a combo of drugs and bulimia. I've caught her throwing up after meals many times (different topic though). She does have saggy skin and stuff like you're saying but like I said she has a really nice face and it definitely did make her hot even if it's in a trashy way and her skin isn't the best.

    Duh I don't like her after all that happened. Did before though.

    Probably shouldn't have used the word "friend" in title but we used to be and idk what to call it lol
    Drugs and bulimia? Yeesh. if she is headed for rock bottom maybe you should step back.

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    Default Re: Cutting off/excluding a friend

    I don't think she is a friend worth keeping around.If I were you I would just cut her out of my life.Three weeks rent free while she is being a dancer was a waaay too generous of you.

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    Default Re: Cutting off/excluding a friend

    Quote Originally Posted by Bahuba View Post
    Drugs and bulimia? Yeesh. if she is headed for rock bottom maybe you should step back.
    She sounds rock bottom 2 me, drugs, bulimia and sleeping on someone's couch? TF kind of "hot girl" lives like that..?? JS and if she's all these things I agree with the keeping it vague about hangn out on halloween n sayn u went outta town, etc. if she gets mad oh well then maybe shell leave u alone. Id cut her off tho, she won't bring any good to your life.

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    Default Re: Cutting off/excluding a friend

    Time for you to find sm backbone, IMO. The reason your other two friends 'are neutral' is bc they don't want to be the ones to drop the axe on the freeloader.

    'Countless talks' … if you've told her once, sounds like you've told her a million times already that she needs to get her shit together. You can't fix her shit, so tell her to take it elsewhere.

    You can either be super-duper, concussion-inducingly blunt & have a sit-down friendship breakup w/ this bitch. Tell her the friendship is over bc you've given her plenty of energy, help, time, & $$$$ to grow up, but she hasn't. Don't let her guilt-trip you, or negotiate, or otherwise give her any wiggle room. You guys are done, & that's that.

    Or you could simply plan your trip w/ the rest of the group, & no one tells her. When/If she mentions including herself, have the friendship breakup talk w/ her then. Again, no negotiation, no wiggle room, no nothing.

    You don't owe her a goddamn thing at this point. If any of your mutual friends/acquaintances try to stir the pot on her behalf, well … you don't owe the shit-stirrers anything either. You have already done so much for her, you have every right to cut the strings.

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    Default Re: Cutting off/excluding a friend

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    Time for you to find sm backbone, IMO. The reason your other two friends 'are neutral' is bc they don't want to be the ones to drop the axe on the freeloader.

    'Countless talks' … if you've told her once, sounds like you've told her a million times already that she needs to get her shit together. You can't fix her shit, so tell her to take it elsewhere.

    You can either be super-duper, concussion-inducingly blunt & have a sit-down friendship breakup w/ this bitch. Tell her the friendship is over bc you've given her plenty of energy, help, time, & $$$$ to grow up, but she hasn't. Don't let her guilt-trip you, or negotiate, or otherwise give her any wiggle room. You guys are done, & that's that.

    Or you could simply plan your trip w/ the rest of the group, & no one tells her. When/If she mentions including herself, have the friendship breakup talk w/ her then. Again, no negotiation, no wiggle room, no nothing.

    You don't owe her a goddamn thing at this point. If any of your mutual friends/acquaintances try to stir the pot on her behalf, well … you don't owe the shit-stirrers anything either. You have already done so much for her, you have every right to cut the strings.
    Thank you, that was very helpful

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    Default Re: Cutting off/excluding a friend

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    Time for you to find sm backbone, IMO. The reason your other two friends 'are neutral' is bc they don't want to be the ones to drop the axe on the freeloader.

    'Countless talks' … if you've told her once, sounds like you've told her a million times already that she needs to get her shit together. You can't fix her shit, so tell her to take it elsewhere.

    You can either be super-duper, concussion-inducingly blunt & have a sit-down friendship breakup w/ this bitch. Tell her the friendship is over bc you've given her plenty of energy, help, time, & $$$$ to grow up, but she hasn't. Don't let her guilt-trip you, or negotiate, or otherwise give her any wiggle room. You guys are done, & that's that.

    Or you could simply plan your trip w/ the rest of the group, & no one tells her. When/If she mentions including herself, have the friendship breakup talk w/ her then. Again, no negotiation, no wiggle room, no nothing.

    You don't owe her a goddamn thing at this point. If any of your mutual friends/acquaintances try to stir the pot on her behalf, well … you don't owe the shit-stirrers anything either. You have already done so much for her, you have every right to cut the strings.
    ^I agree with this. Also, here is the way that I always look at things when I am trying to make a difficult decision like this:
    Either way, someone is going to be unhappy. Your "friend" is gonna be unhappy when she finds out you didn't invite her to the Halloween party (if you choose not to invite her), OR you will invite her to the party, and then YOU will be unhappy all night because she's there and you don't want her to be.
    So basically, what it comes down to is that you have to choose one person's happiness at the expense of the other. What great things has this girl done for you that justifies you choosing her happiness over your own?
    .....And there's your answer. (As to whether you just leave without her or sit her down and talk with her first though, idk.)

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