My brother just found out that I escort... I am devastated as hell.

My brother just found out that I escort... I am devastated as hell.
I'm so sorry to hear that you've been outed.![]()
Do you have even a tiny iota of plausible deniability? People can be very willing to believe something that logically isn't true except for a small sliver of a chance, when they really want to. I'm willing to bet your brother would rather not know that you're an escort, so it could be worth denying, depending on the circumstances in which he found out.





I would suggest sm tried&trueBurn Notice advice: Admit nothing. Deny everything. Make counter-accusations.
If you've been outed w/ no possible way back in, however … stand your ground. Own it. There is nothing inherently wrong w/ being an escort. For starters, you're not the one who has to give another person $$$$ to pay attention to you. If he tries to put you on the spot, turn it round on him. Question why exactly he finds your escorting to be Oh So Horrible & counter every single reason he tries to give by making it all abt his own hangups.
There are sm excellent pro-sex-worker discussions on this board if you need sm help articulating -- I know I have found them quite helpful bc my arse tends to overload my circuits when I get worked up.
I agree that you should go the denial route if you have any plausible way to do that. If he found you on the internet or something for example, say that someone stole your photos and the site is fake or something. Or that is was a revenge ploy by a viscous ex. If he heard from someone else tell him they are lying. If you can put it back in the box DO IT, one of the only things I regret in life is that my family found out that I was a dancer, not that I had control over the issue, just saying, it really really sucks, so avoid it if you can. Even if you have to screw someone over that you know, who gives a fuck, they shouldn't have opened their big fat mouth. And obviously, if you go this route LAY LOW for a while. As in, possibly take a break from escorting or at least make an effort to remove ALL evidence of it that you can. Delete your ads, any accounts you have on review boards, any online photos, etc. That's how you're going to really get fucked, is if he decides to "investigate" and finds real incriminating evidence.
On the other hand, if you are 100% no other options outed, I think the best argument would be the whole "How is this different from casual sex except for the money argument." Girls fuck guys for nothing all the time. And then get treated basically like prostitutes. How that is supposed to be better I have no fucking clue, and I debate this same argument in my head after every breakup I go through. I would play up that you respect yourself and know your worth, and your clients treat you like gold. A lot of people are deluded into thinking because one pays for it that means there are no boundaries. So wrong.
Good luck girl, keep us posted.
"We can't expect you to just know all the secrets of our top-secret-titty-club!" --Jenna Marbles
How did he find out? Was he looking up escorts in your area? Or you left something open on your computer/phone?
If it's the first, I agree with everyone else - deny! If it's too late for that, have an adult conversation with him about how if he's going to use escorts, he has no right to judge you for being one.
If it was because of your own slip-up, and it's too late to deny, can you still talk to him? Like Odette said, explain your choice, what you really do (and don't have to do), how your clients treat you. He's still your brother so he still doesn't want to think about his sister being a prostitute (or even sexual), but at least you can mitigate the resulting damage. You didn't really say how he reacted to the news - angry, dazed, disappointed? Is he threatening to tell family or just freaked out and avoiding you? It's hard to give real advice without knowing where you are in this right now.
Either way, I'm so sorry. That has to be the most terrible feeling. I hope you come back and update us to let us know how you're doing with everything.
Last edited by Aurora_Sunset; 10-24-2015 at 07:18 AM.
Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.





Thanks everyone I really appreciate the support.
Was just thinking about you today. I hope everything is working out ok for you. <3
Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.









Funny related note but my brother guessed I was escorting by "borrowing" my laptop to sneak a look at the tool bar history before I had a chance to wipe it. I could tell from his expression he wasn't too thrilled but to his credit he has never said anything.
I really don't care. For years I stressed about it but in my mind, it's all about "what can you prove"?
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