Results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: My biggest fear has finally come true...

  1. #1
    Member
    Joined
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    59
    Thanks
    21
    Thanked 6 Times in 2 Posts

    Default My biggest fear has finally come true...

    My brother just found out that I escort... I am devastated as hell.

  2. #2
    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2008
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    4,980
    Thanks
    621
    Thanked 6,894 Times in 2,672 Posts

    Default Re: My biggest fear has finally come true...

    I'm so sorry to hear that you've been outed.

    Do you have even a tiny iota of plausible deniability? People can be very willing to believe something that logically isn't true except for a small sliver of a chance, when they really want to. I'm willing to bet your brother would rather not know that you're an escort, so it could be worth denying, depending on the circumstances in which he found out.

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to shanna dior For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Banned Aniela's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2009
    Location
    KW
    Posts
    3,291
    Thanks
    6,920
    Thanked 5,854 Times in 2,242 Posts
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: My biggest fear has finally come true...

    I would suggest sm tried&trueBurn Notice advice: Admit nothing. Deny everything. Make counter-accusations.

    If you've been outed w/ no possible way back in, however … stand your ground. Own it. There is nothing inherently wrong w/ being an escort. For starters, you're not the one who has to give another person $$$$ to pay attention to you. If he tries to put you on the spot, turn it round on him. Question why exactly he finds your escorting to be Oh So Horrible & counter every single reason he tries to give by making it all abt his own hangups.

    There are sm excellent pro-sex-worker discussions on this board if you need sm help articulating -- I know I have found them quite helpful bc my arse tends to overload my circuits when I get worked up.

  5. #4
    Featured Member Odette's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2010
    Posts
    1,096
    Thanks
    517
    Thanked 1,272 Times in 520 Posts

    Default Re: My biggest fear has finally come true...

    I agree that you should go the denial route if you have any plausible way to do that. If he found you on the internet or something for example, say that someone stole your photos and the site is fake or something. Or that is was a revenge ploy by a viscous ex. If he heard from someone else tell him they are lying. If you can put it back in the box DO IT, one of the only things I regret in life is that my family found out that I was a dancer, not that I had control over the issue, just saying, it really really sucks, so avoid it if you can. Even if you have to screw someone over that you know, who gives a fuck, they shouldn't have opened their big fat mouth. And obviously, if you go this route LAY LOW for a while. As in, possibly take a break from escorting or at least make an effort to remove ALL evidence of it that you can. Delete your ads, any accounts you have on review boards, any online photos, etc. That's how you're going to really get fucked, is if he decides to "investigate" and finds real incriminating evidence.

    On the other hand, if you are 100% no other options outed, I think the best argument would be the whole "How is this different from casual sex except for the money argument." Girls fuck guys for nothing all the time. And then get treated basically like prostitutes. How that is supposed to be better I have no fucking clue, and I debate this same argument in my head after every breakup I go through. I would play up that you respect yourself and know your worth, and your clients treat you like gold. A lot of people are deluded into thinking because one pays for it that means there are no boundaries. So wrong.

    Good luck girl, keep us posted.
    "We can't expect you to just know all the secrets of our top-secret-titty-club!" --Jenna Marbles

  6. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Odette For This Useful Post:


  7. #5
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    6,430
    Thanks
    19,846
    Thanked 18,507 Times in 4,919 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: My biggest fear has finally come true...

    How did he find out? Was he looking up escorts in your area? Or you left something open on your computer/phone?

    If it's the first, I agree with everyone else - deny! If it's too late for that, have an adult conversation with him about how if he's going to use escorts, he has no right to judge you for being one.

    If it was because of your own slip-up, and it's too late to deny, can you still talk to him? Like Odette said, explain your choice, what you really do (and don't have to do), how your clients treat you. He's still your brother so he still doesn't want to think about his sister being a prostitute (or even sexual), but at least you can mitigate the resulting damage. You didn't really say how he reacted to the news - angry, dazed, disappointed? Is he threatening to tell family or just freaked out and avoiding you? It's hard to give real advice without knowing where you are in this right now.

    Either way, I'm so sorry. That has to be the most terrible feeling. I hope you come back and update us to let us know how you're doing with everything.
    Last edited by Aurora_Sunset; 10-24-2015 at 07:18 AM.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






  8. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Aurora_Sunset For This Useful Post:


  9. #6
    Member
    Joined
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    59
    Thanks
    21
    Thanked 6 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: My biggest fear has finally come true...

    Quote Originally Posted by shanna dior View Post
    I'm so sorry to hear that you've been outed.

    Do you have even a tiny iota of plausible deniability? People can be very willing to believe something that logically isn't true except for a small sliver of a chance, when they really want to. I'm willing to bet your brother would rather not know that you're an escort, so it could be worth denying, depending on the circumstances in which he found out.
    I will damn sure deny everything.smh

  10. #7
    Member
    Joined
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    59
    Thanks
    21
    Thanked 6 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: My biggest fear has finally come true...

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    I would suggest sm tried&trueBurn Notice advice: Admit nothing. Deny everything. Make counter-accusations.

    If you've been outed w/ no possible way back in, however … stand your ground. Own it. There is nothing inherently wrong w/ being an escort. For starters, you're not the one who has to give another person $$$$ to pay attention to you. If he tries to put you on the spot, turn it round on him. Question why exactly he finds your escorting to be Oh So Horrible & counter every single reason he tries to give by making it all abt his own hangups.

    There are sm excellent pro-sex-worker discussions on this board if you need sm help articulating -- I know I have found them quite helpful bc my arse tends to overload my circuits when I get worked up.
    Thank u soo much ��

  11. #8
    Member
    Joined
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    59
    Thanks
    21
    Thanked 6 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: My biggest fear has finally come true...

    Quote Originally Posted by Odette View Post
    I agree that you should go the denial route if you have any plausible way to do that. If he found you on the internet or something for example, say that someone stole your photos and the site is fake or something. Or that is was a revenge ploy by a viscous ex. If he heard from someone else tell him they are lying. If you can put it back in the box DO IT, one of the only things I regret in life is that my family found out that I was a dancer, not that I had control over the issue, just saying, it really really sucks, so avoid it if you can. Even if you have to screw someone over that you know, who gives a fuck, they shouldn't have opened their big fat mouth. And obviously, if you go this route LAY LOW for a while. As in, possibly take a break from escorting or at least make an effort to remove ALL evidence of it that you can. Delete your ads, any accounts you have on review boards, any online photos, etc. That's how you're going to really get fucked, is if he decides to "investigate" and finds real incriminating evidence.

    On the other hand, if you are 100% no other options outed, I think the best argument would be the whole "How is this different from casual sex except for the money argument." Girls fuck guys for nothing all the time. And then get treated basically like prostitutes. How that is supposed to be better I have no fucking clue, and I debate this same argument in my head after every breakup I go through. I would play up that you respect yourself and know your worth, and your clients treat you like gold. A lot of people are deluded into thinking because one pays for it that means there are no boundaries. So wrong.

    Good luck girl, keep us posted.
    Thanks. Well right now he isn't speaking to me. I'm just happy he didn't tell my mom

  12. #9
    Member
    Joined
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    59
    Thanks
    21
    Thanked 6 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: My biggest fear has finally come true...

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    How did he find out? Was he looking up escorts in your area? Or you left something open on your computer/phone?

    If it's the first, I agree with everyone else - deny! If it's too late for that, have an adult conversation with him about how if he's going to use escorts, he has no right to judge you for being one.

    If it was because of your own slip-up, and it's too late to deny, can you still talk to him? Like Odette said, explain your choice, what you really do (and don't have to do), how your clients treat you. He's still your brother so he still doesn't want to think about his sister being a prostitute (or even sexual), but at least you can mitigate the resulting damage. You didn't really say how he reacted to the news - angry, dazed, disappointed? Is he threatening to tell family or just freaked out and avoiding you? It's hard to give real advice without knowing where you are in this right now.

    Either way, I'm so sorry. That has to be the most terrible feeling. I hope you come back and update us to let us know how you're doing with everything.
    I signed into youtube with my email address on his computer. When he went to check his email, mine came up. He called me yelling and hung up on me... We'll see how Thanksgiving goes with him lol

  13. #10
    Member
    Joined
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    59
    Thanks
    21
    Thanked 6 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: My biggest fear has finally come true...

    Thanks everyone I really appreciate the support.

  14. #11
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    6,430
    Thanks
    19,846
    Thanked 18,507 Times in 4,919 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: My biggest fear has finally come true...

    Was just thinking about you today. I hope everything is working out ok for you. <3
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






  15. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Aurora_Sunset For This Useful Post:


  16. #12
    Member
    Joined
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    59
    Thanks
    21
    Thanked 6 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: My biggest fear has finally come true...

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    Was just thinking about you today. I hope everything is working out ok for you. <3
    Thanks a lot. Very late with the response but he hasn't asked me about it. I haven't brought it up either. I guess he will just act like he doesn't know anything.

  17. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to ineedmoneynow For This Useful Post:


  18. #13
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2015
    Location
    In your man's arms
    Posts
    429
    Thanks
    215
    Thanked 1,054 Times in 319 Posts
    My Mood
    Happy

    Default Re: My biggest fear has finally come true...

    Quote Originally Posted by ineedmoneynow View Post
    Thanks a lot. Very late with the response but he hasn't asked me about it. I haven't brought it up either. I guess he will just act like he doesn't know anything.

    You shouldn't have a youtube account under your escort email. You need to create a separate email for that. Client can also use it to stalk you.

    Glad he's keeping his mouth shut.

  19. #14
    God/dess SnuffleUffleGrass's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Location
    HearstCastle, Rosebud
    Posts
    8,848
    Thanks
    22,676
    Thanked 17,513 Times in 6,696 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: My biggest fear has finally come true...

    Funny related note but my brother guessed I was escorting by "borrowing" my laptop to sneak a look at the tool bar history before I had a chance to wipe it. I could tell from his expression he wasn't too thrilled but to his credit he has never said anything.

    I really don't care. For years I stressed about it but in my mind, it's all about "what can you prove"?

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 4
    Last Post: 01-16-2013, 05:40 PM
  2. Do you fear getting old?
    By BlackSheEp3 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 52
    Last Post: 05-02-2008, 09:01 PM
  3. Fear Factor
    By Destiny in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 06-05-2005, 12:25 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •