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Thread: Bad Reference?

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    Default Bad Reference?

    I often request references from other escorts and also provide references, so far this system of screening has worked well for me. So far, my escorting experiences have been good with the exception of one client who I let slip through the cracks of proper screening. I refuse to see him again but he listed me as a reference to another escort. I emailed her my problems with him and why I wouldn't see him again.

    I feel like it was the right thing to do but I'm feeling a little paranoid this could backfire on me somehow. Anyone else been in this situation?

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    Default Re: Bad Reference?

    Why do you feel it would backfire, esp since you don't want anymore of his business?

    If he was that much of a problem, it sounds like you were doing the other girl a favour by giving her fair warning. I thought that was part of the point of this method of screening?

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    Default Re: Bad Reference?

    The reference system is generally to provide good clients with positive references, not bad clients with negative ones. I've never encountered this situation before.

    Like I said, I was feeling paranoid. I'm not used to dishing out dirt on clients and prefer to only offer positive references. But of course she deserves a head's up, which is why I gave her one. Have you been in this situation?

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    Default Re: Bad Reference?

    So curious as to how this reference system is supposed to handle the clients you'd give a negative??? Are you not supposed to say anything at all?

    This reference system sounds a little off if you'd be punished for telling the truth about your experience with him (that was negative) when asked.

    He must have been clueless that you didn't have a positive experience if he listed you as a reference.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: Bad Reference?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ad_Astra View Post
    The reference system is generally to provide good clients with positive references, not bad clients with negative ones. I've never encountered this situation before.

    Like I said, I was feeling paranoid. I'm not used to dishing out dirt on clients and prefer to only offer positive references. But of course she deserves a head's up, which is why I gave her one. Have you been in this situation?
    While I understand not wanting to tell tales out of school, I think if a client gives you such a negative experience that you wouldn't see him again, that's equally as important as positively talking-up a client who knows how to behave. It's not like you need to completely drag a guy's ass thru the mud, either.

    Besides, from what I understand, the escort review boards are as much abt sharing 'stay away' info as they are abt recommendations. So I don't really see why it is such a terrible thing for providers to give each other equal warning abt unsatisfactory clients, provided the info is accurate.

    In short, based on the limited info you provided (& I am not looking to dig, don't get me wrong ), I think you did the right thing in providing a negative reference abt a problem client. I believe that using a reference system for only positive references isn't making the most of it as a screening tool; after all, how else are you supposed to weed out bad clients? As Miss.a says, if the guy is ill-tempered, difficult, or even potentially dangerous, are you supposed to just sweep that under the rug when another provider looks to you for info on him? We have to look out for each other in this industry, & that includes helping each other avoid the bad as well as find the good.

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    Default Re: Bad Reference?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    It's not like you need to completely drag a guy's ass thru the mud, either.

    Besides, from what I understand, the escort review boards are as much abt sharing 'stay away' info as they are abt recommendations. So I don't really see why it is such a terrible thing for providers to give each other equal warning abt unsatisfactory clients, provided the info is accurate.
    Like Aniela said, you don't have to drag the guy through the mud. Be business like and factual. Just tell like it is. That is screening process.

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    Default Re: Bad Reference?

    If he was dumb enough to list you as a reference when you obviously had a bad time together, you don't owe him anything, and you do owe the other girl the truth. As was stated, you don't have to trash talk him. Just be professional about what you personally took issue with and let her decide from there.

    I had one guy who I saw once, and he was fine. But then he booked and no-call-no-showed 4 appointments in a row without so much as an apology. And he kept using me for a reference. I was giving him fine references until it got to this. But once you've reached the point of blowing me off and wasting my time 4 times in a row? You'd have to be an idiot if you think I'm not going to tell people that you've done this to me. It's not like I went on all the review boards and forums and blasted him. I only responded with the facts of him constantly booking then not showing up on me with the few girls that asked, until he must have gotten the hint and stopped giving out my name for references.

    The only time I've ever seen "negative references" come back to bite people is when they took it to the internet. This was for more egregious clients who were terrible, and the girls were trying to put out a warning for everyone. But if this guy isn't dangerous and you're not blasting him all over the web, responding honestly to a personal email likely isn't going to harm you. (Even these girls, got banned from some websites, but they're still working and doing fine).
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    Default Re: Bad Reference?

    I have had a potential client list a lady as a reference and the provider gave me an honest account of her experience with him. I think the more ladies do that (I've only needed to give references with negative details about 10 times over the years) the better informed the provider is. After deciding for myself to see the client, I wish I had listened to her.

    I have held back once and told a provider only that the client was safe before (without telling the provider about his awkward personality and how he did not like talking) and she emailed me right away after her appointment asking me if this was normal and didn't want to see him again. I didn't see his personality as too much of a problem because he paid very well but she definitely did. So now I think the more detailed ladies are with their experiences, the better!

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