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Thread: Desperately need advice

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    Sad Desperately need advice

    Ok ladies I need some advice as I have come to a difficult decision recently. I am going to stop camming, I had big aspirations for it. It seemed the perfect fit for me and a way to get to my financial and life goals. Despite my experience in areas like managing, marketing and commission sales I have been very unsuccessful. The reason I can't succeed is because I can't log in to work. I don't mean that I am lazy or have something better going on. In fact I have struggled really hard to understand why I can't log on and put the time in. Why I get the feeling like I'm frozen and start to dissociate. I have come to the decision that it must be because of my past. Though I don't have any moral qualms with camming or active issues with my past traumas it has to be the reason. I survived a lot of sexual abuse throughout my life but honestly thought that wouldn't be an issue with camming. I'm not actively having flashbacks. But I can find no other explanation or root to the problem.

    Unfortunetly i I have destroyed my finances to the point that I can't just quit and find another job. I need to make around 3k to even be able to quit. I'm facing eviction and need 1k to prevent that, then I'll have another rent payment immediately due. I've also added 1k to my calculations because it will probably take a week to find a job and 2 weeks before I get a pay check. I average $50 per hour when I cam so I need to work roughly 60 hrs before I can stop. ANY advice on how to get through this 60 hours even though I have this problem? I'm desperate for ideas. Even open to ideas of supplements or diet pills that might help with energy or focus.

    Also - I saw someone on streamate that had in her description that she had a certain $ left towards getting her boobs augmented and I thought this was a brilliant idea. I figure guys would be turned off if I wrote ($1000 left until I avoid homelessness) boner killer right? Or do you think maybe that would be ok? If not, any ideas of something compelling to say I need money for? I'm tempted to put up the truth, I'm still a bubbly person so despite the desperate topic I am still very sexual energy and smiley.

    One more thing I see lots of top girls on streamate selling vids? How? I see no way to attatch a video. The only way I can think of is if they are exchanging personal info but that would get them in trouble. So I must be missing something.

    I tried a gofundme page in my personal circle and that was unsuccessful and family help is out of the question because I don't have any. I don't qualify for general assistance. It really is 100% up to me camming these last 60 hours that will prevent me and my baby from becoming homeless so I truly need some advice. Hopefully not too harshly judged. It's hard to explain what's wrong with me I physically feel paralyzed, go through a cycle of disassociation and then another day passes. I guess you could say I am the definition of insanity right now.


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    Default Re: Desperately need advice

    Don't give these guys any info they can use against you. Unless you are really getting a boob job don't mention it or they'll remember and start wondering why you don't have a boob job.
    Think of it this way. 60 hours is a week and a half. You can get through a week and a half, you've been camming this long. You can do it!

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    Senior Member lilmerry's Avatar
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    Default Re: Desperately need advice

    ... She isn't after a boob job, she was using that as an example.

    The first thing you have to do is breathe. I know you said you were abused in the past, I was too, but I've never found it difficult to get myself on cam. The abuse wasn't your fault, give yourself a mental boost by reminding yourself that you survived the trauma, therefore you have the strength to get through the next 60 hours. I actually have anxiety so I find normal social situations totally awkward and when I'm chatting to a guy in person, I can be quite shy. Online on cam sites, it's a totally different experience because I know what to expect from the guys there and they know what to expect of me so there's no hidden bullcrap. Sure, you get the Dbags and the creepers, but you can block them - you don't need to put up with any crap and you don't have to do anything that you're not comfortable with. Before I go on cam, I put on some music to psych myself up and dance around like a loon and I carry that energy on to the show. If I'd rather have a mellow show, I light some candles and do yoga or meditate beforehand. There are a few nights I could be sitting for a few hours making nothing and it can get disheartening, but I'm pretty good at amusing myself even if it is just by silly dancing or reading an erotic book out loud to your room.

    I'm not sure which site(s) you are on exactly so I can't give you specific advice based on experience of those sites or through what I've read here. You mentioned SM which I have tried, but found too awkward so I moved on to myfreecams which I do really well on, but it probably is a scary site for someone who struggles to even get on cam. The point I'm making is just because one site didn't work for you, it doesn't mean others won't, there are so many out there for you to try out and if you do really have to make money quick, being a 'new girl' on some of those sites actually helps generate a good initial income if you can get yourself on and hustle. (keep in mind pay periods though.)

    The important thing is to not go on cam with negative vibes because it will transfer on to your chat. Stay positive! I've totally had crappy days then had to go on cam to pay the bills, I just watch some comedy shows to cheer myself up before I go on! I get guys tipping me because they've had a crappy day and when they come in, I've helped them feel better. I wouldn't have got those tips if I was sitting in a bad mood. I know of other cam models who have crappy days, but then only offer domme shows that day and they do really well. I'm not sure how long you've been camming for, but it really does take a lot of trial and error to find out what works best for you.

    I wish you all the best and I'm sending all my positive vibes your way hun. x

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    God/dess audritwo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Desperately need advice

    http://myfreeimplants.com/ <--- thats a pretty good site for getting bewbs





    Quote Originally Posted by Miss_Red View Post
    Audritwo's asshole sees all, knows all. Spurs on armies of orcs. Casts fear into the dwindling races of Middle-Earth. Fears hobbits.

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    Default Re: Desperately need advice

    Thank you lil merry! I appreciate the thoughtful response. I'm already on a lot of the sites mfc, chaturbate and SM so I don't know if I'll be able to milk as much on another site with new model status. I actually deleted and reopened one with chaturbate so I have new model status with them but I can't seem to get the ball rolling with them. I love the idea of reading a erotic book in my room. My mind wanders a lot if I have too much gap in between shows.

    I'm really bummed it didn't work out because I actually do enjoy the hussle I just can't find another explanation for my behavior.

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    Default Re: Desperately need advice

    I'm laughing that this has been misunderstood to be about a boob job because my boobs are gigantic hahaha. I have a feeling it was a intentional oversight and joke on audritwos part, you make me laugh in almost every post I see by you.

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    Veteran Member scarlettbelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Desperately need advice

    Quote Originally Posted by evielee View Post

    One more thing I see lots of top girls on streamate selling vids? How? I see no way to attatch a video. The only way I can think of is if they are exchanging personal info but that would get them in trouble. So I must be missing something.
    You can upload vids to sites like mediafire or projectmaenad. I've used both sites and personally prefer project maenad since it was designed specifically for camming. Here's the thread on it: https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sh...g-for-camgirls! There was some recent confusion over whether or not SM allows us to use that site, but they have officially said that they do. To be on the safe side, ProjectMaenad even added a way to modify your download page to fully comply to SM's "not outside contact" policy.

    Mediafire is less ideal because they don't actually allow adult content. Usually you can get away with it if you have non-sexual names for the video files though. Both of these sites create one-time download links that you can send out via the SM messaging system. Guys loooooove buying vids and pics, and they're great to use as incentives to tip higher in gold shows.

    You can do this. The end is in sight! Just take it one hour at a time. Work for an hour, take a break. Take a walk, or a bath, or call a friend, or do some yoga. Then work another hour. Set small, realistic goals for yourself and stick to them.

    I'm so sorry you're in a shitty position. I hope you're able to find a new, better job for you soon.


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    Default Re: Desperately need advice

    Quote Originally Posted by evielee View Post
    Ok ladies I need some advice as I have come to a difficult decision recently. I am going to stop camming, I had big aspirations for it. It seemed the perfect fit for me and a way to get to my financial and life goals. Despite my experience in areas like managing, marketing and commission sales I have been very unsuccessful. The reason I can't succeed is because I can't log in to work. I don't mean that I am lazy or have something better going on. In fact I have struggled really hard to understand why I can't log on and put the time in. Why I get the feeling like I'm frozen and start to dissociate. I have come to the decision that it must be because of my past. Though I don't have any moral qualms with camming or active issues with my past traumas it has to be the reason. I survived a lot of sexual abuse throughout my life but honestly thought that wouldn't be an issue with camming. I'm not actively having flashbacks. But I can find no other explanation or root to the problem.

    Unfortunetly i I have destroyed my finances to the point that I can't just quit and find another job. I need to make around 3k to even be able to quit. I'm facing eviction and need 1k to prevent that, then I'll have another rent payment immediately due. I've also added 1k to my calculations because it will probably take a week to find a job and 2 weeks before I get a pay check. I average $50 per hour when I cam so I need to work roughly 60 hrs before I can stop. ANY advice on how to get through this 60 hours even though I have this problem? I'm desperate for ideas. Even open to ideas of supplements or diet pills that might help with energy or focus.

    Also - I saw someone on streamate that had in her description that she had a certain $ left towards getting her boobs augmented and I thought this was a brilliant idea. I figure guys would be turned off if I wrote ($1000 left until I avoid homelessness) boner killer right? Or do you think maybe that would be ok? If not, any ideas of something compelling to say I need money for? I'm tempted to put up the truth, I'm still a bubbly person so despite the desperate topic I am still very sexual energy and smiley.

    One more thing I see lots of top girls on streamate selling vids? How? I see no way to attatch a video. The only way I can think of is if they are exchanging personal info but that would get them in trouble. So I must be missing something.

    I tried a gofundme page in my personal circle and that was unsuccessful and family help is out of the question because I don't have any. I don't qualify for general assistance. It really is 100% up to me camming these last 60 hours that will prevent me and my baby from becoming homeless so I truly need some advice. Hopefully not too harshly judged. It's hard to explain what's wrong with me I physically feel paralyzed, go through a cycle of disassociation and then another day passes. I guess you could say I am the definition of insanity right now.

    I can assure you that you are not alone, we've talked about these sorts of challenges before in the 'The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club' Thread. Hopefully it isn't considered bad form to quote myself. I am very tired and brain-dead tonight.

    Quote Originally Posted by justanothercamgirl View Post
    What I do is try to start with the tiniest goal possible and work from there depending on how I feel. I also will try to problem storm as many backup plans for 'worse-case scenarios.'

    An example of the tiniest goal is that I would get ready to get on cam and then login the site I am using without streaming at all. I would then give myself time to figure out how my anxiety is feeling before trying to move on to the next step. There will be days where you will be unable to do more then sit in front of your computer and not stream.....and that is okay. The important thing is to figure out how you are feeling emotionally and how hard to push.

    An example of a 'worst case scenario' plan is that if you are afraid your panic attack will get on top of you there are many things that you can do to try and make the situation easier for you. Some examples off the top of my head are: (1) Figure out something you can quickly cover your camera with if things go bad. (2) Have your computer plugged into a nearby extension cord so you can just yank it apart to shut it down. I am not saying that these are great ideas as everyone's panic attacks are different but if you can accept the fact that you will have a panic attack and come up with ways to make it easier to live around them when it happens then it makes it much easier to get on your cam.

    I've had a severe anxiety disorder for the majority of my life so my heart goes out to you on this. Living with anxiety isn't easy, for sure.


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    Default Re: Desperately need advice

    OP, I'm sorry you're struggling to focus but you have to tell that little voice inside of you to shut up. I too was sexually abused, in fact a lot of people here were but we still put it behind us and log on. I advise you to listen to this video and just get all into your feels for 30 whole days if you can. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dca...ature=youtu.be

    What you're going through is very serious. You're about to lose every thing you've built up for you and your child. Your home, electricity, water, internet, cable, food, etc. Do not for one second allow your past hinder you from being able to afford the necessities it takes to live comfortably for no one, not even yourself. You have a child that's looking to you to provide for them and you cannot allow your past or anything going on right now stop you from doing what you have to do to feed and keep you and your child safe and warm.

    I understand that perhaps camming might not be what you want to do and it may be crippling you but for now you need to log on, do 10 hours a day 6-7 days a week (2.5 on, 30 min break, 2.5h on, 3h break, 2.5h on, last 30 min break and 2.5h before bed). Do what you have to do to get through this and while you're hustling your ass off put in some applications and start prepping for your exit. Evictions usually take 30 days to go through (depending on your state laws) and if you talk to your landlord I'm sure you can work something out. Now is not the time to be picky about work. It's about to get cold out here and you need to check your ego and put her ass to work. Join every cam site paid and free chat you can, put some FREE backpage ads up for skype shows, charge $35 for 10 min, and keep skype open all day, every day until you start getting some fast easy money. It can be done, you got this! I've been here (no kids) but I've been in this situation and my luck changed once I hustled and took work seriously. Good luck!




    Believe In Your Brand



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    Veteran Member anoncamgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Desperately need advice

    Self hypnosis might be an option. I do it sometimes. I can try to find a video or .mp4 for your situation if you're interested in this option. Send me a PM if so!

    https://discord.gg/uj2YTKV <-- online chat group for camgirls, clipgirls, and strippers! (No men allowed.)

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    Default Re: Desperately need advice

    Maybe say to yourself you'll just go on for an hour and see how it goes.
    I think/hope once you've been on for the first time since working out the 60 hours it might get better? Once you started towards your target...

    I often get ready, sit down then immediately hit to stream without thinking about it. When I first started I used to mess around for AGES before I started broadcasting and it just wound me up, just try and keep it simple?

    Or make a little chart with the 60 hours on and each time you do a shift cross off the hours...

    Good luck, i hope you get your 3k

    ps i wouldn't put the $1000/eviction thing in or let any of the guys know about it personally.

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    Featured Member Kitcatt's Avatar
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    Default Re: Desperately need advice

    Yeah, I'd say don't do it when it comes to the 1k/ eviction thing. You might get a few capt save-a-hoes but you're opening yourself to a litany of abuse from the "get a real job" crowd.

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    Default Re: Desperately need advice

    Quote Originally Posted by evielee View Post

    Unfortunetly i I have destroyed my finances to the point that I can't just quit and find another job. I need to make around 3k to even be able to quit. I'm facing eviction and need 1k to prevent that, then I'll have another rent payment immediately due. I've also added 1k to my calculations because it will probably take a week to find a job and 2 weeks before I get a pay check. I average $50 per hour when I cam so I need to work roughly 60 hrs before I can stop. ANY advice on how to get through this 60 hours even though I have this problem?
    There is some excellent advice here so I won't repeat any of it.

    I see lots and lots of models have this sort of thing happen so it may be unrelated to your past. I can relate to almost everything you are feeling and have no history of abuse.

    Sometimes it's just hard to log on. We are the only performers who routinely perform hours and hours every week, and it can be exhausting, mentally and physically. You don't see actors or comics or vocalists working these kind of hours performing.

    I'm going through this type of thing every few weeks but I'm getting better at coping. Starting small is an excellent strategy. Sometimes the hardest part is getting started and when I see the money flowing it's easier to keep going.

    Glad you posted this thread because I picked up a few ideas I'm going to use myself!


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    Default Re: Desperately need advice

    Wow thank you all so much. You've all given me such great advice. It's amazing to me that I find more kindness in strangers than in my own circle. I appreciate you guys taking the time. I'm really disappointed that this isn't going to work out for me in the long run. I hope some day I can return to camming because I honestly do enjoy a lot of aspects of it.

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    Default Re: Desperately need advice

    Scarlettbell THANKYOU so much. I have been wanting to figure out how others girls were doing videos for so long. It seems like an awesome incentive to get people to take you to private. I'm going to message anyone I that's ever sent me a message on SM and run a promotion.

    justanothercamgirl - That is great I've always appreciated your posts in the sick girls thread too you are very inspirational. I have a tendency to start these little negative thoughts really early in the day so by the time I'm able to work I've already sabotaged myself. I like the idea of breaking it down in small steps, I'll try and do what I can during the day to keep me in the right mindset like doing my make up while my baby is distracted. Any little thing to keep me on track.

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