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Thread: Retired for one year (got sober after hitting rock bottom)...I went back

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    Dizzy Retired for one year (got sober after hitting rock bottom)...I went back

    So if any of you had been following my post, my life was a fckng shitter not too long ago. I dealt with so many issues this past year and finally I decided to change my life. After many failed attempts I finally quit drinking and I am now 100% drug free. I got off the benzos and the anti depressants. I didnt really "accomplish" much since losing custody, car and home (rock bottom).

    I went back to dancing last week. First night I made 140 I cant even imagine how I used to average 1400+ working 2 times a week before. I know thats peanuts to you guys but thats a lot imo LOL Its hard for me. I want to work days, I cant deal with the night life anymore, Im getting too old for this shit I think. I feel like tired, my bones hurt and Im mentally exhausted after a shift. Since I lost primary custody, I can only work weekdays during the day or night, which Id prefer day. I wonder what the earning potential is during the day, during the week. Monday I went home owing the club 10$, wtf. I have a positive attitude and Im thankful for all the good things in my life at the moment. Guess I just need motivation to ride it out until my earnings become consistent. I do need to make money, I need a car, and a place and money to fix all my legal problems, to be able to request custody.

    I finally got rid of my abusive ex husband. Yes, abusive, I just didnt know it at the time. I shouldve listened to SW when I first began posting this shit. I stayed away and I didnt want to come to SW for advice. My whole outlook was

    "jealous bitches, theyre just a bunch of bitter strippers. I wont let them ruin my happiness."

    LMFAO that cant be further from the truth. I guess this is my Im sorry for not listening when you guys told me to ditch him. He literally slowly and carefully cut off all the things in my life that mattered and everything that led to my rock bottom I can directly or indirectly attach to him. I am not going to play the victim or the blame game, it was my fault for being fckng stupid and not listening or paying attention or listening to my gut.

    Back to stripping, what tips or advice do you give me? This isnt the typical night vs day shift. I have a lot more things that are going on. My confidence is shot, I feel less because I dont have a car, gotta rely on rides and uber. I feel afraid to go work and not make my cab fare etc. Ive been listening to lots of stuart wilde and meditation and etc. Ive grown to take care of myself. I even listen to patience mediation when Im about to lose it at work, because Im not making money. Is it possibly to survive the "building regular phase" of the day shift without a car, and being drained by cab fees etc? DO you suggest I work nights for now, and switch? Im fckng lost. The club im working at now is a super dive bar but its the closest one and i cant afford to pay a cab to and from unless I know I have guaranteed money.

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    Featured Member Odette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Retired for one year (got sober after hitting rock bottom)...I went back

    Congrats on making positive changes in your life! Sounds like you've been dealing with a lot of tough things lately. It sounds to me that with all of your new lifestyle changes, dancing just may not be the job for you anymore. You should NOT feel mentally exhausted after every shift, that's a big red flag. If you are starting to feel "too old for this shit" that's also another indicator that you should be beginning your transition out of the industry because it does not happen overnight. If custody is a major challenge for you right now, stripping is also not going to help your case. I'm not saying you should flat-out quit and do something else, but it sounds like there is no "con" to you adding a second stream of income to your routine doing something else, that will probably a) make you less scared to go into the club because you will have $ coming in for sure already b) add a sense of accomplishment to your daily routine and probably increase your confidence as a result and c) start building your resume, next career, and your custody case. Depending on your educational background and prior vanilla work experience, what other career options are available to you. If you don't know what you would like to do after dancing, a very easy transition job that I can reccommend from personal experience will be bartending or serving. The job is very similar and requires a lot of the same social skills and professional presentation. The main difference is attire. There is no reason you shouldn't be able to start somewhere where you can get day shifts working breakfast or lunches. Even if you do have other skillsets and work experience, you might find this a good temporary option while you look for something else. I don't want to entirely discourage you from continuing dancing full time because I understand the $ potential and the issues you are having require lots of $, but it seems to be making you unhappy, and I understand that a huge part of being in recovery is leading a happy and fulfilling life, so do think about taking that direction. It's just my 2 cents but I feel that remaining sober and working in the club are two things in your life that will work against eachother. Maybe not right away, but eventually as the stresses of the environment add up and your resilience wanes. Having a solid plan b in place will prevent you from getting too overwhelmed.
    "We can't expect you to just know all the secrets of our top-secret-titty-club!" --Jenna Marbles

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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Retired for one year (got sober after hitting rock bottom)...I went back

    Would it be possible to work a swing shift? Besides, does your club basically kick you out after your min hrs to avoid overlap? If not, then there is nothing stopping you from staying an extra hr or two to earn sm extra $$$.

    I always kept ridiculously low goals, even when working in divey clubs, bc I get discouraged easily. Sm times that goal might only be $100 at a time, that small, depending on the club, the traffic & my mood. My first goal each shift was actually always just to make back all my minimum fees/tipouts. Reaching that tiny first goal worked positively on my head, got my momentum going, then I would start on takehome goals. Each $100 (or whatever it was) reached was A Victory & kept me optimistic.

    The setup of a particular club, of course, also influences your goals & how realistic they are. Keep them small & simple. Brush up on Hustle Hut, esp the discussions on selling blocks of time, even in a club w/ no official timeblock setup.

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    Default Re: Retired for one year (got sober after hitting rock bottom)...I went back

    Congrats on your positive changes

    Re: the club issues... if it's such a slow club that you NEED regulars to even make $100, I would probably just suck it up and work nights. Then add in 1 day shift on the same day each week, tell people that's the only day you're there, and make regulars for that day. After a couple months, you could add another day shift, gradually transitioning to days that way.

    Confidence: come in as early as you can to get lower house fees, and then it won't be as much pressure to make your $ as if you came in at 10pm.
    Personally I like to forget about house fees until I'm ready to go; so if I want to make $400, I go until I hit $400 and then I go "Ok that's mine, and now I need another $30 to pay out and go home." Serves many purposes, including taking off the horrible start-of-shift pressure, and lighting a fire under my butt to go quick-hustle another dude and get that $30, instead of dragging around as I am wont to do at the end of a shift.

    With the cab fare worry, maybe you should take $20 out of each shift and set it aside as 'emergency money' in case you do have a bad shift and don't make back your cab fare.

    I know how you feel with feeling 'too old for this shit', where you're just impatient and over the whole scene. I get that way when it's been slow and I'm really having to hustle constantly, when all the fun and easy money has stopped. Honestly I think it is because you're not making mad money right now, so it's like "I'm taking my top off and -insert all the negatives here- for $140? I'm over it". Once you start making ok money again you will probably feel differently.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: Retired for one year (got sober after hitting rock bottom)...I went back

    Quote Originally Posted by Odette View Post
    Congrats on making positive changes in your life! Sounds like you've been dealing with a lot of tough things lately. It sounds to me that with all of your new lifestyle changes, dancing just may not be the job for you anymore. You should NOT feel mentally exhausted after every shift, that's a big red flag. If you are starting to feel "too old for this shit" that's also another indicator that you should be beginning your transition out of the industry because it does not happen overnight. If custody is a major challenge for you right now, stripping is also not going to help your case. I'm not saying you should flat-out quit and do something else, but it sounds like there is no "con" to you adding a second stream of income to your routine doing something else, that will probably a) make you less scared to go into the club because you will have $ coming in for sure already b) add a sense of accomplishment to your daily routine and probably increase your confidence as a result and c) start building your resume, next career, and your custody case. Depending on your educational background and prior vanilla work experience, what other career options are available to you. If you don't know what you would like to do after dancing, a very easy transition job that I can reccommend from personal experience will be bartending or serving. The job is very similar and requires a lot of the same social skills and professional presentation. The main difference is attire. There is no reason you shouldn't be able to start somewhere where you can get day shifts working breakfast or lunches. Even if you do have other skillsets and work experience, you might find this a good temporary option while you look for something else. I don't want to entirely discourage you from continuing dancing full time because I understand the $ potential and the issues you are having require lots of $, but it seems to be making you unhappy, and I understand that a huge part of being in recovery is leading a happy and fulfilling life, so do think about taking that direction. It's just my 2 cents but I feel that remaining sober and working in the club are two things in your life that will work against eachother. Maybe not right away, but eventually as the stresses of the environment add up and your resilience wanes. Having a solid plan b in place will prevent you from getting too overwhelmed.
    Yes. I did reply to some jobs last week. I am thinking of my transition which is why I want to work days. I wouldnt go back to dancing but I do need to generate dancer income to help myself out of the hole Im in now. I do have good skills and work experience in a vanilla job. Im thinking of doing a part time bartending or waitressing job as well as dancing, only because working a normal job would NEVER get me back on my feet. Its just not possible. It really isnt. Ive done the math and found out that realistically I would need to declare bankruptcy and work full time for about 8 years to get my own place and car and pay legal fines, and hire attorney to gt my son back. Also, I need to finish school. This is why I started dancing in the beginning, because I needed to make more money and work less. Unfortunately I started making lots of money and became an alcoholic instead.

    Giving up dancing isnt an option right now. I am good at it, I enjoy all the positive things about dancing and during my mini retirement, I was very sad and missed it very much. I missed the atmosphere and the money and the schedule flexibility and the girls and everything. I missed the power it made me feel by earning good money and feeling like I was independent.

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    Default Re: Retired for one year (got sober after hitting rock bottom)...I went back

    Quote Originally Posted by Selina M View Post
    Congrats on your positive changes

    Re: the club issues... if it's such a slow club that you NEED regulars to even make $100, I would probably just suck it up and work nights. Then add in 1 day shift on the same day each week, tell people that's the only day you're there, and make regulars for that day. After a couple months, you could add another day shift, gradually transitioning to days that way.

    Confidence: come in as early as you can to get lower house fees, and then it won't be as much pressure to make your $ as if you came in at 10pm.
    Personally I like to forget about house fees until I'm ready to go; so if I want to make $400, I go until I hit $400 and then I go "Ok that's mine, and now I need another $30 to pay out and go home." Serves many purposes, including taking off the horrible start-of-shift pressure, and lighting a fire under my butt to go quick-hustle another dude and get that $30, instead of dragging around as I am wont to do at the end of a shift.

    With the cab fare worry, maybe you should take $20 out of each shift and set it aside as 'emergency money' in case you do have a bad shift and don't make back your cab fare.

    I know how you feel with feeling 'too old for this shit', where you're just impatient and over the whole scene. I get that way when it's been slow and I'm really having to hustle constantly, when all the fun and easy money has stopped. Honestly I think it is because you're not making mad money right now, so it's like "I'm taking my top off and -insert all the negatives here- for $140? I'm over it". Once you start making ok money again you will probably feel differently.
    Thank you so much. I did come to the conclusion ill have to suck up the night shifts for now : / Yes maybe Im being a fckng princess and I dont wanna struggle and get pissed off when Im not making money left and right. You are right about the 100/day for day shift from regulars.

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    Senior Member mm621's Avatar
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    Default Re: Retired for one year (got sober after hitting rock bottom)...I went back

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    Would it be possible to work a swing shift? Besides, does your club basically kick you out after your min hrs to avoid overlap? If not, then there is nothing stopping you from staying an extra hr or two to earn sm extra $$$.
    Yes, I second swing shift! The good thing about swing shift is that you get the final people of day shift (especially good if they've been sitting around all morning/afternoon and they are finally ready to spend money before they leave), and the beginning of the night shift. It also doesn't force you to have to stay too late or until close; if you get tired, you can still leave at a pretty decent hour (and not be sleep deprived the next day). On the other side of the token, you can stay until close if you have the energy and the money is flowing! Swing shifts can also a good segue into night shifts. Night shifts always used to intimidate me, but after working a few swing shifts, I just started coming in later and later until I found myself strictly working night shifts. lol

    When I only worked days, I noticed that there was a lot of sitting around for the first few hours, depending on if anything was going on that day/weekend. It would typically pick up after the golfers are done with their game, or when the football games were finally over (because guys can't go to a regular sports bar to watch football or anything… they just HAVE to watch it at a strip club, for whatever reason I could never understand). On the flip side of the day shift, you eventually develop regulars and the day shift becomes easier and more lucrative. Some girls I've talked to said that they actually make more (or about the same) as they would on a night shift, because they have regulars.

    So maybe work one or two day shifts (depending on how many days/nights a week you plan on working) to develop regulars, but throw in a swing shift to ease your way into nights again (if you want to work them eventually). What I have noticed though, at least at my club, weekday nights do not get that crazy/hectic/"let's party" atmosphere that the weekend nights tend to get. I'm not sure if that's the apprehension you have to nights or anything - it's just a thought. Another good thing about incorporating night shifts in the week is that if you have a shitty day shift, you can probably make it up with a night shift later on that week.

    I really hope I made sense/helped!

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