I am 23 yrs old. Internal demons nag at the back of my head. Money, success, looks, my age, and I feel I am fighting a losing battle. This past week, I burn about two weeks of wages at a casino (1k ). My stocks have crashed. And I feel like half of year's worth of money so far. I vow to never gamble at a casino again, and I am going to wait it out for my stocks. It is eating me up inside. I know its a sunk cost at this point, but I want to recover. I know how ugly it is.... but I lost my mind at the casino because I was ahead 1k, and Im on a vacation. Still it was stupid.
I have a day job. It pays 23k a yr. Its demanding and Im with it for 2 more years.
Yesterday, found out my minimum bonus 5k is not going to happen. And I have to buy medical insurance for my "very sick" sister, which is a necessary, thats at least 5k.
My mother nags me to go to college, but I have a hard time focusing on my education versus work..... I really want to... but I feel as long as Im working its not going to happen. I want to do well.... and Im worried about aging.
But job offers a full ride 3 yr scholarship at the end of my contract... and thats exactly when I want to take college fulltime and seriously.
I was a stripper at one point, but never took it seriously because I thought I was too fat.... well push comes to shove, I need money. Now. After this stupid vacation is over (well I guess my paid vacation isnt paid).
My job is relocating me to New Orleans.
Any advice?



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