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Thread: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

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    Default very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    about two months ago i signed up for myfreecams without even thinking about it. i don't know why i did it, maybe i was turned on by the money. regardless i was dumb and didn't think about how it would affect me later. i never got paid enough to be paid out and cancelled my account two days later and that was that. i didn't even think about it. a month ago i looked up my stage name i picked and saw i had about two pages of my public cams and hyperventilated. i couldn't sleep and i just felt so ashamed. basically, i wasn't that big and you can only find me on page like 7000 of some camgirl website. i signed up for camgirlprotection but i don't think there's much they can do besides report the content. they did however, help me block google search results. i'm terrified this might affect me later in life but since i never had any income reported, do you think there's still a way to connect me to the forum? i crosssearched my name with the stage name i picked and you can't associate me with it. how likely do you think it is that i will show up on a background check if i never took money from MFC. what jobs do you think i should go for?
    I read all the past forums on this topic, but I think my case is a lil different considering i was barely even tipped. i think the most i got on it was like 20 tokens.
    also, in no way i'm saying that camming is a bad thing to do, i admire women and men who do it but apparently i can't gut my naked pictures being online. i was so dumb and naive, i showed my face.
    please just a lil piece of advice to calm my nerves. i can't really sleep and i've been cutting myself and feeling crazy because it's the only thing i think about.

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    God/dess Marina Starr's Avatar
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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    It doesn't matter if you cammed for 5 minutes or 15 years, once it's on the World Wide Web, it's out there forever. There are things in life you just can't undo once it's done. All you can do is accept things for what they are and move on. I know it's easier said than done but you made a mistake but who has lived and hasn't?!

    I hope you seek professional help for self cutting. I can't imagine what you must be feeling but please remember everything will be alright if you want them to.
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Carmen~ View Post
    I can see you being 90 and flipping your long hair, still teasing the boys.



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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    woah! just chill! you are panicking and completely over reacting. How would any prospective employer know your stage name to google for you?

    If you cammed a few times then i cant imagine anyone is going to be bothered to stalk you and find out who you are and post it online to connect the two together.

    Honestly? Its like working in retail and realising you cant stomach being nice to all the rude people, you tried it, its not for you, move on. Anything already out there, if it wont come down with a DMCA is out of your control, you will make yourself ill worrying so much about it, that part is in your control!

    x

    eta: I missed the part about cutting on the first read, you need professional help with that, while you can find support on forums you wont find a magic cure, trust me ive been there xxx

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    Veteran Member anoncamgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    Go connect to a listener: http://www.7cupsoftea.com/

    https://discord.gg/uj2YTKV <-- online chat group for camgirls, clipgirls, and strippers! (No men allowed.)

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    Veteran Member Violet_Z's Avatar
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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    Unless you plan on working for the FBI no one is ever going to see that. You only have maybe a picture of you out there just say someone else stole it and posted it online if anyone ever asks.
    I can promise you though. No one I'd ever gonna find it. Just relax.

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    Veteran Member CharlieTen's Avatar
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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    Don't worry hun. There's no way any future employer would be able to find you if it's not associated with your name.
    There are millions (I think) of girls on Myfreecams. Your profile will most likely never been searched for, and since you didn't do anything sexual (by the sounds of it) then society has nothing to shame you for - only the FBI could put your cam name to your real name I think.

    As for the cutting, don't ruin your lovely skin.It might feel like a good temporary release but people will worry about you and it will worsen your mental state. I've been there and you should seek help when you're ready, I hope you get better. *hugs*
    Have a cup of something hot, watch your favourite show and get your mind off it. No one's going to find out
    Waiting for privates like...

    http://profiles.myfreecams.com/CharlieTen
    http://www.adultwork.com/ViewProfile...%2Easp&NoHit=1
    https://twitter.com/CharlieTenModel


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    God/dess SuperPookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    Honey please don't stress about that. The chances of someone finding out about it our almost nil. Just don't tell anyone and you'll be fine. The thing you should be worrying about is that you're self harming. Please see someone about that because very rarely does that get better on it's own. Trust me on that one . Hugs for you and I hope you're o.k.

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    Veteran Member QueenBitch's Avatar
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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    I think I know how you feel, I have anxiety and when something bad happens or I just so much as THINK it's going to happen, I completely freak myself out, to the point of getting seriously ill. a couple of weeks ago I was stressing out over what turned out to be nothing at all, and it took me weeks to recover. it's all in my head, I'm my own worst enemy when I get like that and I create problems that aren't even there. please seek professional help! I called my psychiatrist when things spiraled out of control, it's a tremendous help.

    apart from that, everyone else who commented is absolutely right. there's millions of camgirls, the chance that someone is going to find out is close to non-existent. and in case someone does find out (I'd bet all of my money that no one's going to find out): deny deny deny. a dickhead of an ex boyfriend put stuff online. that's the story I'd go with, in your case. but trust me: no one's going to find out.

    please take care of yourself, it's all going to be fine, I promise <3

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    God/dess audritwo's Avatar
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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    Everything what everyone said!

    Also the small .001% chance someone does, DENY! That could be someone who just so happens to look like you. Get real offended that they would even bring that up to you.

    But remember you have no tax trail or links to your credit that could out you to it. So you do not need to worry about background checks with future employers.


    You did the right thing with blocking google search of it.





    Quote Originally Posted by Miss_Red View Post
    Audritwo's asshole sees all, knows all. Spurs on armies of orcs. Casts fear into the dwindling races of Middle-Earth. Fears hobbits.

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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    Thank you ginger, (also everyone else) this community is much nicer than expected and I truly appreciate the replies. I'm going to feel better somehow, and everyone who commented is helping me a bunch.

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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    OP - it sounds like you have some mental health stuff going on (that isn't a judgment - many of us do). Along with self-harm, do you struggle with paranoia?

    If logic is helping you through this, then my perspective is that there is an *extremely*, extremely, extremely low chance that this would ever come up for you in the future. And as others have said, even if you did come across someone who recognized you (and I can't even imagine who this individual might be, especially considering how little content you had online), you'd easily be able to laugh it off or pretend to take offense ("Excuse me? What the hell are you talking about?").


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    Senior Member RedMeg's Avatar
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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    If my calculations are correct, your chances of being found are veeeeeeery low- otherwise, literally every camgirl would have buckets of traffic and all of our self-promotion would be a breeze.

    Being worried about being discovered isn't that weird, but I thought I would voice the counterpoint for you, bb.

    I don't know you, but I hope you get the help, love, and support you need to stop self-harming. Everybody deserves help, love, and support, including you.

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    God/dess audritwo's Avatar
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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    Sade, if you do feel the urge of cutting again, please take anoncamgirl's advice and talk to someone on that site. Venting your pain and anxiety to someone else is very therapeutic.
    http://www.7cupsoftea.com/





    Quote Originally Posted by Miss_Red View Post
    Audritwo's asshole sees all, knows all. Spurs on armies of orcs. Casts fear into the dwindling races of Middle-Earth. Fears hobbits.

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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    Quote Originally Posted by RedMeg View Post
    If my calculations are correct, your chances of being found are veeeeeeery low- otherwise, literally every camgirl would have buckets of traffic and all of our self-promotion would be a breeze.

    Being worried about being discovered isn't that weird, but I thought I would voice the counterpoint for you, bb.

    I don't know you, but I hope you get the help, love, and support you need to stop self-harming. Everybody deserves help, love, and support, including you.
    That's such a good point. Even camgirls who TRY to get everyone to know who they are still aren't exactly household names! Hell, I don't think I'd even recognize a famous porn star on the street unless she was dolled up to look exactly like her screen self.

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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    It's going to be ok. NO one is going to search for your name. Girl, I'm ALL over the internet. You Google my name and BOOM! I'm there spread eagle. The site I started camming with records privates and puts them on the interwebs for sale. 2 years of my privates are PLASTERED on the web. I'm not worried. Fuck it. I chose this path. You'll be fine. I did a few tv shows and movies and no one recognizes me from those on cam. So, I highly doubt regular people will recognize you from camming. You're going to be ok.


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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    Thank you, this is such a supportive thread. I asked for help on yahoo answers and people just wrote "lol" and i felt so shitty after that. This is a much better site and I really do appreciate the responses. i'm pretty sure the actual download links are down for mine, i only have images left and i'm trying to be okay with that. i think it'll get better day by day. they're just uploaded to sites like cam gallery or megacams4you. :/

    all the love to you lovely ladies (or guys!) thank you for being there for me and not even knowing me. i can't tell anyone, not even my closest friends. only a few career counselor people know and i'm trying to get back into regular counseling to help with my mental health. so far cigarettes and sex are the only escape for a bit and that's not healthy.

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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    Quote Originally Posted by anoncamgirl View Post
    Go connect to a listener: http://www.7cupsoftea.com/
    Thanks a lot for this^!
    & Sad, I'm glad you're feeling a bit better, & hope you get much better, I know you will. Take care.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    I just have to stop looking up my cam-name and obsessing over this. It will take a while to get it out of my mind but once I stop I feel like things will start getting better. Thank you for all the support.

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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    Quote Originally Posted by sadexcammer View Post
    I just have to stop looking up my cam-name and obsessing over this. It will take a while to get it out of my mind but once I stop I feel like things will start getting better. Thank you for all the support.
    Maybe it would help assuage some of your fears if you tried to find yourself *without* using your cam name?

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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    Maybe it would help assuage some of your fears if you tried to find yourself *without* using your cam name?

    I will do that, I don't think you can associate me with it. But I'll do some deep searching tonight and comment back. Thank you. Everyone here truly are some of the friendliest people on the World Wide Web I know I can't do what's been done but I have learn to accept it, move on and stop thinking about it and being so suicidal and obsessive.

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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    Just did some research on myself, can't find anything related to me with cam. I've decided to stop looking up my stage name (my thing had like 10 views when i started looking at it, now it's up to 32 mostly from me and the people from cammodelprotection) CMP did delete a few of the search results (now only about 14 left on like 7 websites) but the images will be there forever. unless those websites get taken down, which they really should because some other people feel the same way. also i'm gonna dye my hair once i get enough money, i feel like changing my look will help me a bit too.

  37. #22
    God/dess audritwo's Avatar
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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    Also changing up your style is a great boost of new confidence! I do it quite a bit!





    Quote Originally Posted by Miss_Red View Post
    Audritwo's asshole sees all, knows all. Spurs on armies of orcs. Casts fear into the dwindling races of Middle-Earth. Fears hobbits.

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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    Guess I'm dyeing my hair soon, but I was worried about school. If I don't have any 1099s coming in from MFC do you think I should still go for something medical related? random question but I was freaking out before about that and I kind of want to pursue it but I don't know whether to stay clear from that area.

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    Default Re: very sad i did this/ worried (support only please)

    The chance of anyone connecting the dots are very very low.
    It would have to be the oddest circumstance of having JUST watched a video and then seeing you all dolled up. Really.
    Even THEN ... They might not know anyway!

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