Huge post, sorry.
Hello BBs,
Some of you may remember me. I used to post here all the time and Chatzy was pretty much my second home. It’s been awhile since I posted here… exactly three years tomorrow, actually, and it’s also been about that long since I worked on Streamate.
So… I pretty much disappeared from the cam-scene and Stripperweb/Chatzy without warning. I feel pretty bad about that since I made some great friends here and once that happened I lost contact with a lot of them. I didn’t work nearly as often as I should have, partially because I was also a fulltime student, but when I did cam I did quite well. Looking back on it I want to kick my own ass for not taking full advantage of what I had going at the time. The money was good and I was in my prime so to speak (age, fitness/body confidence, ect). I never planned to just stop camming altogether, though, it was just going to be a ‘break’. I was initially taking a break because I was super busy with school and exams and I felt overwhelmed because I had just started experiencing anxiety for the first time in my life. I was going on vacation in December and planned to return to camming in January of 2013, rested and renewed. I knew I wasn’t fulfilling my camgirl potential and that’s what 2013 was going to be all about. I was going to work regularly and BANK, but then January rolled around and life decided to kick me in the ass, and Peaches was never seen or heard from again…
So. I get back home and about a week passes. And then it happens. I get the call. My best friend of 10 years is dead. She was 22 and literally dropped dead in her bathroom, no explanation, and autopsies revealed nothing; the healthiest and best person I’ve ever known, gone. So yeah, as you can imagine this made me kind of want to withdraw from the world for a while, and a while lasted a really long time. I pretty much did nothing and time just kept passing. I stopped going to school, never starting camming again, started playing videogames all the time, gained 30 pounds, and my anxiety and panic attacks started to become more common until they were a daily/all-day occurrence. It was absolutely awful and I became a total anti-social recluse hermit just because of how bad my anxiety got. I felt like shit all the time and attempted to go back to school and work off and on but nothing stuck and I fell back into the same hermit patterns. I pretty much gave up on myself for a long ass time. Eventually I got really fed up with myself and finally decided I needed to get my shit back together. I started medication for my anxiety this summer which has been a godsend despite my previous skepticism and am slowly but surely making my way back into the world of the living. I’m back in school and on a pretty hardcore diet so that I can lose this weight and feel sexy again. Most importantly I feel human again.
SO. YOU MAYBE ASKING YOURSELF WHY I AM POSTING THIS HERE AND NOW, OR YOU HAVE PROBABLY ALREADY FIGURED IT OUT…
I want to cam again. I am committed to camming again. I am going to ditch my old persona and be more myself this time around and plan to start on a different site. I have spent the past 3 years periodically stalking MFC, studying it like science, and have seen some of my cam girlfriends who were noobies at the same time I was become so successful there. It has inspired me and even though I haven’t been camming it’s been constantly on my mind and I’ve always wanted to come back to it, I just didn’t feel like I was ready. BUT NOW IT’S TIME. It maybe 3 years late but I am going to start again this January after I lose some of this extra weight and move into my new place. I know it’s going to be hard starting from ground zero all over again but I am so excited to do it. It’s great to feel motivated and have goals again and hell I miss the money.
When I used to cam Stripperweb was my safe haven for everything cam related and I’ve missed it a lot. You ladies were my support system then and I can’t go back into this without you all. So yes, I apologize for the novel but that’s my story and I look forward to being back on the forum and camming again. I’m sure things have changed around here a lot (loveshooks is still a mod, thank god <3) but if any of my old Chatzy BBs are still around (you know who you are) and are reading this please say hello, I missed you all.





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