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Thread: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

  1. #1
    Featured Member CanadianRuby's Avatar
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    Duh I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    I may delete what I will post here later but....I just need to get this off my chest.

    Last night I was talking to an online friend who I have known for about a year now. We met on an MMORPG....started talking, and even though we don't play anymore we will chat pretty regularly on Skype or FB etc.

    Now this might sound dumb but bare with me lol...last night we were on Skype / video and talked for several hours on there. He had told me he 'liked' me, and was kind of flirting etc.I guess over the last year i'v had a little online crush on him on and off....but, he lives in the USA, is afew years younger than me, and we fight sometimes about stupid shit, so I know it's not actually going to go anywhere.

    ANYWAYS, we had been talking about experiences we've had with 'cybering' online or on webcam etc.....and that is why I told him that I am a cam girl. I mainly told him, because, well....I figured it wouldn't be fair if we kept talking in that type of context, if I was ommiting information or lying to him about what I actually do.

    He reacted pretty much how I expected, but also did not. He got angry at first, and was saying things like "so...you're what they call a Cam Whore?!"...or, he said that means i'v lied about things i'v told him (nothing was a lie). I think origionally he thought when I said I was a cam girl, that I meant I was an amature pornstar or something. I think he thought I get fucked on cam by other people (I don't). Anyways....I cried on cam/skype for at least an hour. I was crying because I realized I just told my secret I never told anyone I know before. I was immediately afraid he'd go and tell my family or friends on FB, so I went and deleted my FB.

    He calmed down after I explained things a little more indepth. I didn't say my online name, or where I work....i'm not telling that information. After I got over my initial panic / crying attack of realizing what I had done....it sort of felt cathartic to tell someone my secret. We kept talking for awhile after that.....but then he changed.

    He started treating me like a customer would treat me. His sexual comments changed. I stopped feeling like I was interacting with my 'friend', and was suddenly in my cam girl persona and wasn't me anymore. He started asking me what website I work on, and if I would ever "show him" what I do on webcam. The questions started freaking me out, the more he prodded for information.

    I stayed up all night talking to him....and went to bed at 10am or so this morning. We fought before I finally fell asleep. I said I wish I didn't open my stupid mouth and tell him my secret. He promised he wasn't going to tell anyone. I told him I don't want him trying to find me, because what he would see isn't actually ME. It's hard to explain that to someone like him that doesn't seem aware at all about cam girls. He mostly said a lot of shaming things, that he felt sorry for me, etc.

    Anyways, I just needed to write this and put it out there. If you have never told anyone what you do and are thinking about it.....I probably wouldn't do what I did last night...it's not worth it. Chances are he won't tell anyone I know. But, it changed our friendship probably irreversibly now, and I have the added stress of him wondering when / if I am working if I get busy and can't talk to him, etc.

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    Featured Member webcamcutie's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    If he doesn't like you for you, and that's all aspects of you, and makes you feel bad for what you do and you enjoy doing it..
    He's 1, not worth your time, and 2, not a true friend.

    Thats when their true colors really come out and in relation to another forum posted earlier. If they don't like you for YOU (ALL ASPECTS OF YOU) show them the damn door and cut your losses because they were NEVER a true friend in the first place. I know it sucks, and it stinks, that they possibly reacted differently then you wanted them to, but its so much better to find out at an earlier stage of the game then say you did, pack up all your stuff to go be with him and have him find out then? Or worse! Imagine holding onto a secret for 4-5 years of your life and then you telling them and them reacting that way, it would be so much worse than it is now! We are all humans and have emotions so when we confide in someone and they don't take the news the way we wanted them to of course it hurts, shows you have a heart and have feelings! Its natural to feel this way.

    You are a beautiful independent women, and if you take pride in your career as a cammodel and other people can't accept you for that, then you don't NEED that negativity in your life! Never second guess yourself or your choices, its not worth it for anyone.

    Chin up lady, don't be sad.


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    Featured Member Holly_xoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    I've always found it awkward telling guys what I do. Some react with surprise because I just don't seem the "type" to do it. They're usually amused by it and will ask a few questions and that's it. Other's treat me different and just focus on sexual things ( I stop talking with those ones) I've never had one get mad at me. I don't know your friend but he was out of line to get angry and use the term....cam whore.

    Sometimes, I've told people that I used to cam, just to gauge their reaction to that before saying I still do it.

    Sorry for the stress you're going through but it's probably good to know his reaction. Sounds like he's over - reacting and being a bit of a drama queen

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    Featured Member Chellyinparadise's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    Im sorry you had to go through that and its a shame he treated you so poorly with making you feel horrible about what you do. What you do doesnt define you as a person, its all an act when we work.People are so quick to judge us and make us feel horrible for what we do for a living and dont trully acknowledge who we have been and are in real life. You seem like a caring and kind person, please dont let him make you feel that way, noone should ever make you feel bad about yourself. Ever. I hope that things work out for you and you dont go through that again, it is a horrible feeling. I wish i could give you a hug. Just take care of you and if someone cant accept everything about you then like she said they dont deserve you or your time. Hugs

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    Veteran Member sovereignv's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    I'm so sorry about that, he sounds like a real dickhead. Some guys are so hung up over sex in weird ways - thinking it's incredibly shameful and filthy and degrading for a girl to perform anything sexually, but still wanting to wank over her. It's always such a dreadful feeling when someone you thought you could trust turns out to be judgemental and ignorant.

    I often find that once people find out I do camming, they start thinking I'm incredibly hypersexual, or just see me in a more sexual way in general (although the stuff I do would probably never appeal to them if they knew, hah). It's like even people who know your "normal" self can't think of it as a job that you do.

    To be honest, if I was in your shoes I'd probably end the friendship at this point. The way he received this news is a pretty bad indicator for his personality and I don't think that's something that's likely to be redeemable. Better to get out before the problem grows. I hope you feel better soon.

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    Featured Member webcamcutie's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    To me honestly to add to what you guys are saying and how he reacted seems to me like he might be a little bit of a control freak and possibly mentally abusive? I wouldn't want to be friends (or anything further) with a guy like that. I've been there, I know how it is, and the warning signs are there. I would really cut your ties before you go any further, hes lashing out at you to make you feel bad for what you do which is emotional and mental abuse, and he could actually have a lot of control issues that could be worse if you guys ever did decide to get together. I would save yourself that heartache honestly, its not a fun experience to go through, and the further you get into it, the harder it is to get out.

    No man (or anyone for that matter!) should EVER make you feel shamed, or bad for what you do, or in general, if he is making you upset or making you doubt yourself I'd tell him to hit it and move on without him. Yes its hard because you have feelings for him, but if he truly cared for you he would have never acted that way, and time heals all wounds. Big hug from me to you, you can do so much better. Show him the door before you get into some type of more abusive relationship in the end, we'll all be here to support you.

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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    Fuck that guy. He basically asks you to do free cam shows for him, and then has the nerve to turn around and say he feels sorry for you? I always get annoyed by the "I feel sorry for you" or "get a real job" types of people. It's like yeah, boo-hoo, poor little ol' me...I make more money in three hours at my job than you make all day at yours, and I don't even have to leave my house to do it. And I can take breaks and vacations whenever I want.

    He doesn't pay your bills, so he doesn't get to judge you. If you really want to salvage your friendship, I guess you could direct to a site that you don't cam on, where girls do public shows sometimes (MFC or Chaturbate), and he can see that it's not about sleeping with random dudes on cam. If he can't get past the fact that you're a normal human being who makes money in an unconventional way, then cut your losses because a true friend wouldn't judge you the way he does.

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    Featured Member Chellyinparadise's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    Yea i agree that is mentally abusive, and shouldnt be tolerated. I couldnt get out of my situation for a long time and someone who does this now will just become worse with time. I was scared of my ex and it took a long time to break free and i now try to speak up to people before it is too late and youre stuck living a long life of that. If i can help in any way to help someone else avoid a situation like mine, i am not afraid to put my life out there for all to see to help others because i didnt have help and wish i did in the beginning. You can find a man who will speak to you in a loving way not abusive way. Hugs sorry i put more out there but i hate seeing people be treated this way. If you ever need to talk im always here for you or anyone else who has experienced this. Hugs again.

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    Featured Member webcamcutie's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    @chelly - sorry to thread hijack. From me to you, sorry you went through this. I've been there myself. Its hard to get out of, and the longer it goes on, the worse it gets, its never an easy situation.

    @Ruby - put your foot down now and take a stand, abuse is not something that should be taken lightly, and unfortunately there are many men out there. Even the ones we don't suspect can turn out to be this way. Its not something I'd ever wish another female to go through, no friend or guy or anyone is worth your self worth and them making you feel bad. No one, absolutely no one. You're a strong women, stay strong and independent!

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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    Quote Originally Posted by webcamcutie View Post
    @chelly - sorry to thread hijack. From me to you, sorry you went through this. I've been there myself. Its hard to get out of, and the longer it goes on, the worse it gets, its never an easy situation.

    @Ruby - put your foot down now and take a stand, abuse is not something that should be taken lightly, and unfortunately there are many men out there. Even the ones we don't suspect can turn out to be this way. Its not something I'd ever wish another female to go through, no friend or guy or anyone is worth your self worth and them making you feel bad. No one, absolutely no one. You're a strong women, stay strong and independent!
    Thank you sorry you went through that too, i cant speak for other relationships but i can speak from experience of my own. I had the physical abuse and those scars can heal its still bad yes but the metal scars are much worse as you live with those the rest of your life. Im not trying to make it about me when i speak about it cause it is very hard to open up about it but i promised myself that if i could ever help anyone just one person i would be happy. Sorry to highjack too but this is something i am very passionate about helping others in this kind of situation. Please know if anyone ever needs someone to talk to in this situation i am willing to talk or just listen.

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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    Thank you, you guys for all of your heartfelt responses to my thread. I really, really appreciate it...and a lot of them made me get teary eyed. I was a bit worried I'd just get told "well, that's what you get for telling you're a cam girl"....but....I should have known many of you have either been in my situation personally, or can empathize with wanting to tell people in your personal life about what you really do online.

    I think part of his particular issue....is he watched a lot of pornography. Not that, that is bad by any means....but....I think he views women as either being wholesome, and pure or being a "slut", with no grey areas in between. There are so many different types of women who cam, but I think for him, he didn't perceive me of ever being capable of camming like that. Plus, I think it was just generally disappointing to him, since....it is a control thing...like the false belief that if a cam girl gets naked for strangers, she can't possibly want to do things like that for her own enjoyment, or have them be meaningful experiences to her, etc.

    I haven't talked to him yet today. I'd imagine he is still asleep, or, maybe just won't want to talk to me. I simultaneous feel like I want to explain myself more, but also don't want to....because I don't think it's my job to try and get him to have an open minded view of cam girls and the work they do. It's okay for him to jerk off to porn...but it's not okay for a friend or woman to actually BE an amateur, solo, cam girl lol.

    I hope if I do stop talking to him....he will just let it all drop. Won't try to search me out, or try to 'expose' me. He can think what he wants of me.....but, I don't want him to try to ruin my life because he is angry or something.

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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    And if he does spend his life trying to expose you then hes a very sad and pathetic individual and you can do nothing else but feel bad for him and how he is. You have to have thick skin being a cam girl, who cares about what he does, thats for his own sick perverted personal enjoyment, don't give him the time of day because in the end thats what he wants, any attention, negative or positive. Simply ignore him and live your life, because it'll eat him up inside that he can't get to you in any way, and that, my dear, is the ultimate revenge.

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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    I wish you the best with it if you do talk to him later hopefully he wont put you through what he did to you before. If he does as hard as it may seem just tell him goodbye and shut it down. I trully hope he wont be nasty and try to hurt you even further. Ill be here if you ever want to talk. Hope the outcome to this is positive for you.

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    Featured Member Holly_xoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    I'd also like to add, that if you feel that you need to defend yourself and your job to this guy....he's not worth it. You should never have to justify yourself to anyone. We're performers, we do a job. If he wants to have a tantrum, that's his problem. Who is he to say anything about you camming? I have to agree with the others that said he seems mentally abusive. I think he showed his true colors with how he reacted.

    Be proud of what you do. You work....you pay your bills and how you do it, is nothing to be ashamed of. Don't let him make you feel like you should be.

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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    None of it surprises me. He is not a friend. A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. You should thank him for showing who he really is and cut him off.
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Carmen~ View Post
    I can see you being 90 and flipping your long hair, still teasing the boys.



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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    He's acting like a customer cuz he is one. Only someone familiar with the adult business can harbor so much resentment for someone he considers a friend when he finds out she is one. I'm so convinced he's some escort, stripper, or camgirl's most obnoxious client.
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    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    "He mostly said a lot of shaming things, that he felt sorry for me, etc. "
    I would take that as an insulting. I understand most ppl are clueless about camming, but it s not my problem to enlighten them up, and ... aint sounds possible , anyway.
    I mean, if the person is someone who care about me a bit, he would show a little curiosity about my suff/ opinion, not just put me in a box, and acting like he knows everything.

    So, in this case i would put this relationship on ice, and see what he ll do, or what he wont.
    Last edited by LoraDoll; 11-08-2015 at 12:16 AM.

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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    Eh? Fuck em!

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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    Quote Originally Posted by CanadianRuby View Post
    Thank you, you guys for all of your heartfelt responses to my thread. I really, really appreciate it...and a lot of them made me get teary eyed. I was a bit worried I'd just get told "well, that's what you get for telling you're a cam girl"....but....I should have known many of you have either been in my situation personally, or can empathize with wanting to tell people in your personal life about what you really do online.

    I think part of his particular issue....is he watched a lot of pornography. Not that, that is bad by any means....but....I think he views women as either being wholesome, and pure or being a "slut", with no grey areas in between. There are so many different types of women who cam, but I think for him, he didn't perceive me of ever being capable of camming like that. Plus, I think it was just generally disappointing to him, since....it is a control thing...like the false belief that if a cam girl gets naked for strangers, she can't possibly want to do things like that for her own enjoyment, or have them be meaningful experiences to her, etc.

    I haven't talked to him yet today. I'd imagine he is still asleep, or, maybe just won't want to talk to me. I simultaneous feel like I want to explain myself more, but also don't want to....because I don't think it's my job to try and get him to have an open minded view of cam girls and the work they do. It's okay for him to jerk off to porn...but it's not okay for a friend or woman to actually BE an amateur, solo, cam girl lol.

    I hope if I do stop talking to him....he will just let it all drop. Won't try to search me out, or try to 'expose' me. He can think what he wants of me.....but, I don't want him to try to ruin my life because he is angry or something.
    You hit the nail on the head here! You probably ruined his view of you as wholesome. Now he simply sees you as a dirty object. I think it might have been more than friendship for him...lust perhaps.

    I'm sorry you're going though this! It is definitely relieving to confess a secret like camming. I'm pretty open about it. Mostly, people around me are cool with it. A few have lost respect for me without actually saying so. Comes with the territory sadly. I've gotten over it and developed a new view towards them as well as lack of desire for their respect.

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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    I tell my short oppinion from what I read in your story:
    I he changed his mind about you in 1 second after you told him the truth about yourself, then he tottaly has never been your friend.
    A real friend would NEVER forget and erase from his mind in a second all your friendship from the past year. If in a second he is capable to change his attitude against you at 180 degrees and even make some nasty comments about you, in front of you(!!), that makes him a stupid sociopath and a jerk loser who was just trying to look for some free pussy by playing the nice guy.
    With your confession, you just gave him some sort of "green light" (in his mind) and now he just thinks he just got lucky by finding a woman like those in the porn movies he jerks on, to satisfy his dirty fantasies. YUUUCK!
    You were not a dumbass at all. Sooner or later , you would have find out his true face.
    Get rid of him and continue your life, like nothing happened.
    Even he is showing you to the people, the "people" won't pay your bills and "people" don't know what's better for you in life.
    That's why now I have only 3 true friends, from almost 100.
    People are so fake, nowadays u can't find a real friend so easy.They are jelaous, for their own incapability oh being free with their own person. They are jelaous and frustrated because they can't ignore the society and do whatever they want. And in time, their jelaousy affect you, so you need to get rid of theese "pests". You don't need to feed them with your happiness. Just let it go.
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  40. #21
    Featured Member CanadianRuby's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    Thanks again you guys....got all teary eyed again reading all of your support....thank so you much.

    I did end up talking to him again tonight. He mostly just listened. He seemed to get angry and quiet though, after I talk talking about how a lot of customers or clients tend to be seeking emotional intimacy, rather than just physical. Like...if a man is unhappily married, or disabled, or just lonely...and wants some company. He got quiet and stopped talking, and eventually said he had to go.

    I think i'v explained myself fairly well to him at this point. He has admitted he is dramatic. And...I was fairly honest that I don't like how he changed towards me just because I told him about my job. I think he is too immature to handle what I have told him....and I should have remembered he was that way last night. Everything sort of just bubbled over.

    I am suspecting I won't be talking to him anymore very soon. He is simultaneously clingy but also seems to have disdain for me now. I don't expect men to necessarily accept a woman camming....but....it's too much judgement.

    He was fun to talk to once in awhile, but, he's acting like we were dating or something and I just confessed to cheating or something. Which isn't the case. It's just me admitting I have an 'adult job'...and I need to talk to a man that can accept that, not a boy with jealousy and control issues.

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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    Is this dude my ex husband?! Seriously, the whole virgin/whore thing is just too...stupid. You are so much more than some one-dem. person. I've been there, done that, with the jealously/shaming, and it's so not worth it. I hope you remember what a smart, awesome and cool woman you are. Don't let this loser tell you otherwise. (( HUGS ))
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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    Thank goodness he is an internet friend and you can block him out completely. I wouldn't want someone like that in my real life.





    Quote Originally Posted by Miss_Red View Post
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  45. #24
    God/dess Marina Starr's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    This is what I love about sex work. People show you who they really are pretty quickly once they know and we get to boot them off our island just as fast.
    Quote Originally Posted by audritwo View Post
    Thank goodness he is an internet friend and you can block him out completely. I wouldn't want someone like that in my real life.
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Carmen~ View Post
    I can see you being 90 and flipping your long hair, still teasing the boys.




  46. #25
    God/dess TheBrownFox's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was a dumbass and told an online friend about my camming....

    That's what a lot of these guys do. The minute you tell them about you being a cam girl, they start treating you like they think you'd make an easy lay, and they wanna see you in action. *rolls eyes* And when you want to talk about something else, they don't wanna drop the subject. It's so annoying. A blessing in disguise, but I actually lost a so-called male friend of mine because I refused to tell him the name of the cam sites I had been on, and he wouldn't stop harassing me about it. That was when I realized I shouldn't have opened my mouth in the first place. He ended up finding me on MFC one day, and kept blurting out my nickname in public chat. And he had MFC Mailed me talking about how much he missed hangin' out with me and my son. I ended up blocking my state on MD after that (and after a former co-worker finding me on MFC and blurting out "You used to work at ____" in my public chat...).
    My referral link for models to join the Boleyn Models daily pay program
    https://cammodelpay.com/ref?page=&campaign=&affToken=NDcx

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