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Thread: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

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    Default What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    I'm sure it has a lot to do with my depression but I spend most days laying around, doing nothing, scrolling facebook and instagram and I don't do anything unless I absolutely have to. That includes doing laundry, putting it away, cleaning my house, etc. I don't go to the gym any more and always make excuses to why I don't. The only thing I really look forward to is going to work (I don't know if that's unhealthy or not but I guess it's better than dreading it) and hanging out / going out with my friends.

    I feel like I should be doing more productive things with my spare time. Reading books, learning a new language, going to the gym, etc. How do you motivate yourself to do these things instead of being lazy?

    You would think that being happier and improvement in quality of life would be motivation enough for me but apparently it isn't...

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    I generally set a specific time for me to go to the fitness center and just go, no matter how I'm feeling or what I'm doing.

    Maybe you prefer scrolling facebook and instagram instead of going to the gym because you're interacting with other people instead of going to the gym by yourself. That's how it is with me. The same with doing chores, such as laundry or cleaning your house. I always prefer interacting with other people on the internet over doing chores by myself. Sometimes I just have to force myself to do things. I just plan on doing laundry or going through mail and paperwork on a certain day and time.

    If you enjoy hanging out with your friends, would one of your friends be interested in going to the gym with you?
    Last edited by eagle2; 11-23-2015 at 06:27 PM.

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    I know EXACTLY how you feel!! This sums me up to the T right now, glad to know I'm not alone! I've been trying to keep a diary/journal and write about what I want to change (and what I'm doing to try and work towards that change) and also about how I WANT to be. Hopefully it works!

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    Quote Originally Posted by eagle2 View Post
    I generally set a specific time for me to go to the fitness center just go, no matter how I'm feeling or what I'm doing.
    ^^ This

    I find having as much of a schedule as I can really helps. It can be tricky as SW because our time ends up revolving around bookings/random club shifts if you're at a place that sets shifts for you, but having it set in stone that "x days at x time, I do a workout", I know I always have x day off so that's my housecleaning day, etc.

    As far as gym stuff, picking out a set program to follow will really help out too- I always go when I'm following a plan because I feel so guilty about missing a day, whereas if I was just kinda doing my own thing it'd be easier to be like, "o I 'll just go later/tomorrow/whatever"

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    Scrolling Facebook, et al feels like instant gratification (it feels good), so I don't blame you there. I only login to Facebook every couple months, so I'm not the person to talk to here. I just don't have the time to devote/dedicate/waste on it. I feel it's just a haven for narcissists so I avoid it for that reason.

    THE PLAN

    1 It helps to schedule it on your calendar. You block out the time and commit to it. My iPhone/iPad/Android all sync to my server. So I always have my calendar with me. If you have a smartphone, I recommend you use its calendar function.

    2 The wife and I SCHEDULE laundry once a week, we schedule it for Mondays. No exception.

    3 We hang up most items to air dry in the basement, so putting things away typically happens on Wednesday or Thursday. Same with my ironing. I do wear some of my work clothes 3X before I wash them. Most dress clothes are OK like that. It cuts down on the load.

    4 Cleaning the house we SCHEDULE every other week, it takes few hours on a Saturday morning to clean from top to bottom. (We do sweep up dog hair either every day or at least every other day).

    5 I SCHEDULE going to the gym as soon I get up in the morning. I get up, let the dogs out, and then hit the gym. Ours opens at 5AM. I exercise for 45-55 minutes, hit the shower, dress, and go to work, and eat my breakfast at work during my morning review. Exercising kills two birds with one stone, as I don't look forward to work either! But getting some cardio and some weight lifting helps motivate me to go in on time. Prior to this I was upwards of 2.5 hours late to work each day because I no longer cared.

    6 I schedule reading too. My wife blocks out from 2-4 PM in the afternoons to either read or write (she's an author/writer). I schedule 45 minutes before bed to read. I find this time works the best for me.

    THE TAKEAWAY -

    -Basically having a partner/friend to do these things with helps and you two can help/support/encourage/motivate each other.

    -Every so often you WILL NEED TO CANCEL your scheduled plans. Either you don't feel like it, or you are sore, or you are sick -- WHATEVER! Give yourself permission to cancel. The point is don't beat yourself up at it. The perfect is the enemy of the good! The important goal is that you are making daily progress. Notice I said progress, not perfection. Just do a little at a time. Schedule very small blocks of time to start. And remember it is OK to cheat. You just can't cheat all of the time.
    Last edited by Dominic.2; 11-23-2015 at 07:16 PM. Reason: grammar

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    Quote Originally Posted by miss1dancypants View Post
    I'm sure it has a lot to do with my depression but I spend most days laying around, doing nothing, scrolling facebook and instagram and I don't do anything unless I absolutely have to. That includes doing laundry, putting it away, cleaning my house, etc. I don't go to the gym any more and always make excuses to why I don't. The only thing I really look forward to is going to work (I don't know if that's unhealthy or not but I guess it's better than dreading it) and hanging out / going out with my friends.

    I feel like I should be doing more productive things with my spare time. Reading books, learning a new language, going to the gym, etc. How do you motivate yourself to do these things instead of being lazy?

    You would think that being happier and improvement in quality of life would be motivation enough for me but apparently it isn't...
    That is definitely depression at its finest, its a wave of hopelessness and giving up. You really have to fight it by working out, making better health choices everyday..what helps me is setting an alarm and forcing myself to get up out of bed to do anything. Whether it be cleaning, working out or fixing my cam business getting up and doing something active. It slips in when you least expect it and turns into a huge rain cloud where you find yourself bitching and moaning about everything, annoying others around you and staying up every night with insomnia. Its hard, but you have to create another side to you that displays discipline like, "No, you have to do this at a certain time regardless of how you feel. This is final, you can do this." Cause as weird as it may sound, it actually helps to self motivate/talk to encourage yourself.

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    One thing that has helped me is going to exercise classes rather than going to the gym. Working out with other people is much more motivating, and I like thinking that my instructors notice my progress. They definitely notice when I show up to class, which helps hold me accountable. My 'thing' is yoga: hot power flows (vinyasa) and deep-stretching (both help strengthen my body and stretch it out for work). Going to classes feels SO much healthier for both my mind and body. Definitely worth the $90/month I pay to take unlimited classes.

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    Quote Originally Posted by eagle2 View Post
    I generally set a specific time for me to go to the fitness center and just go, no matter how I'm feeling or what I'm doing.

    Maybe you prefer scrolling facebook and instagram instead of going to the gym because you're interacting with other people instead of going to the gym by yourself. That's how it is with me. The same with doing chores, such as laundry or cleaning your house. I always prefer interacting with other people on the internet over doing chores by myself. Sometimes I just have to force myself to do things. I just plan on doing laundry or going through mail and paperwork on a certain day and time.

    If you enjoy hanging out with your friends, would one of your friends be interested in going to the gym with you?
    The sad thing is all my friends live an hour to an hour and a half away depending on traffic so I try to see them all once a week but it's a huge ordeal to schedule it, go in to the city, pay $40 just to park etc...

    Also I've been single for 2 years and I"m much better functioning in a relationship... as far as being happy motivated etc... but I'm a commitment phobe now since my last ex unexpectedly broke my heart and I have trust issues with someone up and leaving for no reason when I thought they loved me...

    Working is a great constant in my life since I am so successful. I went to the gym this morning after breakfast and that did give me an emotional boost for a few hours but then I just wanted to go lay in bed the rest of the day. I just wish I could snap out of it.

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    note,it is fall season ,naturally we want hibernate and dealing with loneliness is harder . what gets me out bed are dreams then goals then scheduling.

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    Quote Originally Posted by miss1dancypants View Post
    The sad thing is all my friends live an hour to an hour and a half away depending on traffic so I try to see them all once a week but it's a huge ordeal to schedule it, go in to the city, pay $40 just to park etc...

    Also I've been single for 2 years and I"m much better functioning in a relationship... as far as being happy motivated etc... but I'm a commitment phobe now since my last ex unexpectedly broke my heart and I have trust issues with someone up and leaving for no reason when I thought they loved me...

    Working is a great constant in my life since I am so successful. I went to the gym this morning after breakfast and that did give me an emotional boost for a few hours but then I just wanted to go lay in bed the rest of the day. I just wish I could snap out of it.
    Are you close with any people you work with? Is there any possibility that any of your co-workers would be interested in doing any activities with you or going to the gym with you, so you'll have a friend that's closer (if any of your co-workers live near you)?

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    Quote Originally Posted by eagle2 View Post
    Are you close with any people you work with? Is there any possibility that any of your co-workers would be interested in doing any activities with you or going to the gym with you, so you'll have a friend that's closer (if any of your co-workers live near you)?
    No I work 45 minutes away from home as to not run in to Family at the clubs (my uncle saw me at my previous club and told my whole family) plus I try to keep work and life separate. I like to distance myself from most of the girls. Go in, make my money, go home. Less drama and stress that way. I wish I had more friends in my home town.

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    I'm in a new city and have no friends out here at all right now so I know how you feel with the loneliness. I'm trying to use this time as a way to stay focused and get stuff done, but it's easy to fall off track and lay in bed and watch Netflix all day lol. I spend too much time on Instagram too but one thing I do is I follow motivational pages so when I'm mindlessly scrolling thru my feed I get a little reminder of what I should be doing. I follow a few popular fitness girls so I'll see their progress pictures or new workouts that they're doing and then it motivates me to get my ass in the gym and reminds me of my fitness goals. It's also motivating to have a new workout you can try to make things more interesting. I also follow random motivational pages that just post good quotes (motivationmafia and successmessenger are two that i follow).

    Scheduling is definitely a good way to get yourself up and moving but I havent really come up with one yet myself. Do you have pets? I'm now forced to go outside and walk my dog everyday now since she needs to get her energy out. It's nice to get some fresh air when you spend so much time indoors.

    Oh and I bought a Think and Grow Rich audiobook that I've been listening to. I also am reading a book called The Total Money Makeover. Both of these books are good reminders of what I should be focusing on.

    Also, I absolutely hate cleaning and doing chores but I turned music on and put some headphones in my ears and found myself looking for more stuff to do lol and that never happens. Maybe some upbeat music will get you more motivated to do those little things around the house.

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    Volunteer work any type of charity work

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    True. I do have a cat and she helps. I have been going to the gym after breakfast every day and that has helped so I think I am at least moving in the right direction. Plus I quit my current club yesterday so motivation to make sure I stay in shape for upcoming auditions... I had an amazing time travel dancing last month, I can't wait to do it again. That was the happiest I'd been in a long time.

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    That's great that you're going to the gym every day. If there are days where you're not able to get to the gym, there's a lot that you can do at home. I used to jump rope in my apartment. Burpees are also a good workout you can do at home.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZQA08SlJnM

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    Honestly, I force myself to go through the motions in the hopes that one day, I won't feel like I'm just going through the motions. I try to set my future self up for success. If you sink into the lifestyle of a depressed person, you can pretty much guarantee that you'll stay there. Fake it 'til you make it.

    Also, read Rubyetc on tumblr.


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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    Rubyetc is a 21-year-old woman in London who suffers from serious mental illness (bipolar, I believe). She's had most of her adult life stolen from her due to her illness, and she creates (usually humorous) art as a healthy coping mechanism. Some of her stuff is just plain silly, and some of it addresses more serious issues. She's a huge proponent of using art to heal, and she has an incredibly unique style.

    http://rubyetc.tumblr.com/

    Also, hyperbole and a half, in case you haven't seen this one yet: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co...epression.html

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    ***Just wanna send happy cyber vibes and hugs***

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    Sometimes I have to "ground" myself from social media. I have an app called "self control" that locks me out of social media when I'm supposed to be doing other things. Things like work or exercise or chores.

    Since I use social media as a business marketing tool, setting limits as to the amount of time I spend there can be challenging. The app helps a lot!

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    So I just wanted to give you guys an update...

    Still dealing with my depression but it's been MUCH better because my old roommate/dancer friend is up visiting for the month and it's been sooo nice to have someone else in the house to spend time with, even if we're just laying around netflix binging. Of course we all need alone time but the little things are best done with a friend or a significant other. Today we went grocery shopping and ran errands -- things that can be boring / frustrating alone but fun with a friend.

    I've been thinking about moving in to the city cuz I'm so bored where I am (an hour away) and having a roommate. I do so much better mentally/emotionally if I have a roommate or significant other.

    I quit my old club and started working at a high end club. So far I'm not doing great (still need to adjust to the hustle) but I know I need to give it more time. I've only been there for about 2 weeks. I'll see how I feel about it by the end of the month.

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    Is there any possibility that your old roommate would be interested in relocating to where you are, and maybe being your roommate again? Does she have any ties to where she is currently living?

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    Eagle2 brings up a good point. I know for myself initially it was great to have my own place and be able to tell everyone to "get out!" and close the door behind them when I wanted alone time or to decompress. And that feeling was a great feeling after being crammed into small places with family growing up for how many years? That feeling was nice. As time went on, I felt the sweet spot was 1 or 2 other roommates, with 1 being ideal. And I can cite most of the advantages that you list in your experiences with your dancing friend / former roommate. I would typically go 1 month or so alone before I felt compelled to find another roommate. It also helps to split the rent/utilities/cleaning 50% plus you can help motivate each other. I'm married now so my roommate days are over but I feel the recommendation is still valid for those living alone and struggling with being motivated. HTH.

    ETA:

    I want to make it clear that I'm not saying it is necessary to rely on another person for motivation or to combat feelings similar to depression -- not at all. I do believe working on being 'your best self' is still a good approach and good medicine before you can have really healthy relationships with others. It is possible to leave alone and still have all of those things.
    Last edited by Dominic.2; 12-27-2015 at 06:48 AM. Reason: added post script, opposing stance

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    Quote Originally Posted by eagle2 View Post
    Is there any possibility that your old roommate would be interested in relocating to where you are, and maybe being your roommate again? Does she have any ties to where she is currently living?
    Well I'm bored living in NH anyways, and hate the cold and winter, and she is living in Baltimore. We like dancing in Baltimore, I plan on seeing her once a month for a week, but Baltimore itself isn't safe. She's had a lot of issues working there. We are going to go to Florida next month together, I'd be interested to see how I like working down there. I want to check out 3 different cities in Florida this spring. I'm really hoping I like at least one of them and could move down there.

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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    I keep a cork board with slips of paper on it with all the things I am grateful for. I have it set up so its the first thing I see in the morning. Also, I commonly think to myself throughout the day that I am so grateful to be alive today no matter how bad my day is going. I find it really keeps me positive!





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    Default Re: What do you do to motivate yourself and live a more purposeful life?

    ACT, Acceptanc and Commitment Theapy/Theory.

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