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Thread: BF/No Privacy

  1. #1
    Featured Member BambiCutie's Avatar
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    Default BF/No Privacy

    Hey guys, so my bf has been staying home from work recently and its hard camming around him. He seems completely open to the idea when it rises, but when my sessions start I can tell he is listening in. He then acts different and kind of cold shoulders me a lot.. I need this time to cam for the Holidays and it seems he will be taking off work a lot nearing Christmas, they also have it setup so he can work at home. This interferes with my business really bad because I am making no money/refusing to get on when he is around making him act like a jerk. I really want to work and be more slutty but, when he is around I feel that is impossible for me. He has been acting very distant, snappy, sassy with me..so I am getting these mixed emotions about how he feels. Talking to him also is a difficult thing, its like we don't click in certain places and we both acknowledge that. (we don't set any stone into place, its just a weird/complex relationship) It impacts him if I'm not getting on and working but, if I decide to get on and work it causes stress regardless.. (If that makes any sense.) I need my privacy in order to make this work as a business, adult related or not. This is what I've tried..



    1) I tried asking for privacy at least 5 times when I thought of getting on.
    2) He questions me on why I need privacy to cam and insists he's fine when I try talking.
    3) I tried telling him in advance that I will be working, but he still gives no privacy.
    4) I have tried sitting down and talking but it results in other issues, denial, him getting upset.

    I have to work and have invested a lot of soul into wanting a good Christmas this year. I know it may upset him that I chose camming but, if I see a leak of cash I'm going for it..
    Last edited by BambiCutie; 11-30-2015 at 04:18 PM.

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  3. #2
    God/dess Issabelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    He may be open to the idea of your job, but he isn't open to the reality of it taking place. It's like those guys who do cuckolding roleplays on SM. Sure, it gets 'em all hot to have their wife fucking a stranger in theory, but how many of them are actually okay with it outside of fetish roleplay settings?

    He's not respecting your job or your boundaries. Sit him down and have a chat with him about how you feel, what you perceive him doing, and why those things are happening. Outline your expectations clearly for work. You don't need to explain why you need privacy to work--it should be a given! How would he feel if you were staring over his shoulder or listening in on all of his work calls all day long? Yeah, just like that.

    If he isn't willing to be as accepting of your job as he claims he is, then you two need to decide if you're quitting your job or breaking up. Those are your only options. Personally, having been there with two different men, it depends on how they've treated me/my job/our long term prospects and whether I think they're worth it or not. You've still got bills to pay and happiness to consider, so it's not just keeping a boyfriend/husband that matters here. Are you willing, for the sake of your relationship, to completely change your life for him if it turns out he doesn't accept your job?

    By the way, even if he's cool with your gig when he isn't home, it says something that he isn't cool with it where he can hear. So keep that in mind too.



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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    I have the same issues. Hubby is okay with camming but doesn't want the nitty gritty details lol. I guuess he likes the idea that other guys want me but doesn't want to see the actual work that goes into it. I get it. Maybe make a schedule of when he's at work and try to cam heavy during those times. Or send him out to do work at a coffee shop so you can feel comfortable and have privacy. Or out to hang with buddies. That should free up some time for you to cam. when hubby is home, i also use it as time to create content including photos.

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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    Agree with Issabelle also, if he's being passive aggressive with how he feels about your camming, that will be a major issue down the road. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable with having my significant other listening in on my adult work. I'm lucky, our schedules line up since he works overnight.

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  8. #5
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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    I wouldn't feel comfortable with him listening in either. That would be weird as hell. And you know how guys are. They'll probably listen in on your work, and later on be like "How come you don't say stuff like that to me?" *rolls eyes* Then any kind of sexual encounter you have with your man he's probably gonna be bringing up shit from your camming conversations he's listened in on ("Why don't you moan like that when you're with me?"). If a guy dates a woman who's a massage therapist, she does not wanna come home - after a long day at work - and be expected to then give her man an hour-long Swedish massage too. Lol. With the camming, you wanna be able to keep that separate from your own personal/love life without being expected to be "playing a role" all the damn time. Boyfriends need to give you your space for you to do your job well and comfortably. Guys in my family seem to love The Home Depot. Lol. Can't he go there for a while? Go to the gym. Go into a different room in your home and watch T.V. or something?
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  10. #6
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    I'd come up with a way to have him running errands (like ask him to go to Home Depot and build something that takes hours and concentration) during cam hours and also try some serious soundproofing if I were you.

    and if he is really "working" from home then how is he finding the time to eavesdrop on you? He should be focusing on his own work. You could take an hour or two and breathe down his neck while he's working so he can see how his own behavior feels.

    Another option is to ask him to get an office for himself so you're both not at the house and he can actually work and not bother you while you're working.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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  12. #7
    Senior Member MadamDragon's Avatar
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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    BambieCutie, from your post, a few things sound rather worrying. It's like he's trying to sabotage your work and that is never good.

    Would he tolerate you questioning his job and interfering with his daily work routine? There has to be some fairness. Camming is something you chose to do as your choice of work for good reasons and if he can't accept that, is he going to extend his hang-ups to other aspects of your relationship?

    You have to ask what is most important to you - now and in the long term. Relationship? Work and finance? Autonomy? Don't let distrust/jealousy/creeping become the norm!

    Excuse my cynicism and bluntness. I'm an old bag and two things I don't tolerate from men are 1. Possessiveness and 2. Fucking around with my money/work.

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  14. #8
    Senior Member oCURIOUSo's Avatar
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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    You know, I've been married 10 years, I started camming well into our marriage, and when I started he was in the room most of the time I worked. Then we moved and had space for him to be elsewhere while I worked, and suddenly I made more money. Then we moved again and I have the whole basement to myself, and it's amazing. I know he loves me, he doesn't have a problem with my job, and he'd never TRY to hurt our income, but he doesn't always understand that there is a BIG difference in begging for some stranger to fuck my ass and call me his cum slut when I'm alone in the room counting the money I'm making, and trying to do that when he's standing 10 feet away watching. Like, he knows what I do, I'm not ashamed and I don't keep secrets, but it's basically easier to make an ass of myself when I'm alone. I can't commit to any show when he's in the room, or I know he's watching, because regardless of how okay he is with what I do and how much he supports me, I still feel obligated to protect his feelings while I'm entertaining other people. Which means suddenly I can't flirt. I can't tell a guy in exclusive that he's got a bigger dick that my husband, because what if later he's like Oh well was his dick really bigger? It's not always about what HE is doing, but how it makes me feel knowing he's watching me.

    Your boyfriend may never have had to see or hear what you do. Sure it's fine in theory but when you're actually in the situation it's not that easy. Some people can do it and some can't. My suggestion: Give him an Xbox and good headset and encourage him to play a FPS while you work. They're loud.
    No power in the 'verse can stop me.


  15. #9
    Veteran Member ZafinaX's Avatar
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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    Not to be offensive but these dudes can just switch up on you any day no matter how long you've been together. Not saying it'll happen nor do I hope that it'll happen but I'm just warning you, because it has happened to me. Guys wanting to "date" me because I am a dancer/cam girl so I should always be "sexual" right? WRONG! And when they see that they're not getting what they want from me, they just move along to the next girl who will put up with their BS.

    I know that was a bit unnecessary but all I'm saying is, if camming is making you happy, don't let a potential temporary situation get in the way of your permanent happiness.

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  17. #10
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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    He isn't being oopen about being insecure or good enough in bed with you, as in his junk doesn't measure up. Or jealous how you pay attention & desire for those guys & NOT his even though he knows it is for money.

    Hears all the crazy stuff we have to say on cam & thinks is she really into that, am I not satisfying her. My roomate, not boyfriend cracks up with what I say on cam, so tell him to laugh it off. That most of what you say is bs, the guys on cam know it, you know it, but deep down maybe he doesn't.

    A bit of reality into it, like while I'm begging for some guys load & how big his dick is. In my head, thinking should I go out for a burger & beer after this session or order sushi while I edit videos. Some insight into What you are thinking might help.

    Sam

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  19. #11
    God/dess audritwo's Avatar
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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    My husband sometimes is home while I'm on cam. Took him a while to get used to the new background noise, because it would get weird. Weird as in fetishes he isn't into, or off the wall requests. Most became normalized pretty quickly. He recommends wireless sound cancelling headphones.

    But he was never weird about it like your boyfriend. Maybe get him some headphones and a new video game? My husband does if he doesn't want to listen. Or he'll just go to a friends. He treats it like it like my job, which is a blessing.

    I'm gonna go kiss my beau for being amazing.





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  21. #12
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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    I'd set up a couples account with him somewhere and get him in cam with you. It worked with my SO, he thought I was having a grand old time screwing myself to strangers until he realized that I deal with a ton of crap. Finding out it's really a JOB had a huge impact, and got him to stop giving me shit.
    Now he sometimes likes to watch me work so we can banter and joke during my breaks, and get a good laugh to kiss in between shows.

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  23. #13
    God/dess kortneykay's Avatar
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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    BB, please take no offense to this but he's your boyfriend, not your daddy and he can leave the house invest in headphones and an xbox or ps4, and or get over it. You've already expressed that making money for Xmas and beyond is important to you. If he doesn't like it, he can bounce and drive around or visit a friend.

    My ex was the same way and I ended up getting rid of him because no one deserves to be treated less than for trying to hustle. He used to sneak upstairs and listen outside the door of my office. If he came home and it was open he would mean mug the hell out of me showing his disapproval as if I gave a shit. He would stalk my feed and say things like "Why do you have to come across as if you like it so much?" and it was really, really hurtful being called a whore in fights, etc.

    He knows what you do for work, he's accepted that so he needs to accept what comes with the job or he can GTFO. Good luck and keep us posted! Have 'that' talk with him and just get online. Pretend he's not even there and if he gets cold, you get cold with the pussy. Simple as that, babes.




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    God/dess laurielegs's Avatar
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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    Quote Originally Posted by BambiCutie View Post
    So relieved but, I was able to talk to him about how much it annoyed the crap out of me having him sit there just knowing he could listen. He told me he will be going back to work Wed and will try not taking many days off to work at home. I worried myself about it for a week and finally like everyone was telling me I got paid..I can't explain the awesome feeling that comes with seeing my first pay. (I cried lmao!) Thanks so much for everyone's help, gave me the dose I needed to speak up! I am not going to worry, if he catches me in the middle of doing a show then it will suck, but its part of the job.

    So glad you were able to communicate and also happy to hear you got your $ You should do something to celebrate. : -)


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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    Yay communication is important! Keep it going! <3<3





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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    I asked my husband how he is able to handle hearing me screaming with pleasure with other men and he said, "It's because I am a real man, I know what they want and it makes me feel even more manly that other men want you. It's like rooting for your favorite sports team, I guess."
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  30. #17
    Featured Member BambiCutie's Avatar
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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    That, is a brilliant way to think!! XD

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  32. #18
    God/dess Issabelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    Only you know if your bf will be open to this sort of strategy, but if you think hearing about the daily grind aspect of our job would help him then I suggest sharing. You know, if you have one of those customers that just makes your pussy want to crawl up into your cervix and hide forever or if you get a guy who can't possibly have had sex before in his life because he's so fucking clueless and so on. Tell him about the bizarro requests, like 'quadruple anal bb?' (got that one last week, btw) and 'pour fish over face bb?' Keep the reality of the job up front so he remembers that it's not all rainbows and unicorns and sexy orgasms.

    Besides, there's nothing for the ego like telling him that you saw 50 fucking dicks today at work, thought half of them needed to be checked by a doctor and the other half looked like they wouldn't know how to find a vagina with both balls and a map, then tell him his dick is your favorite. Ego boost, just saying.
    Last edited by Issabelle; 12-01-2015 at 02:16 PM. Reason: Curse you typo!


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  34. #19
    Curious Guest Chubbybunnyraven's Avatar
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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    Quote Originally Posted by coma288 View Post
    I'd set up a couples account with him somewhere and get him in cam with you. It worked with my SO, he thought I was having a grand old time screwing myself to strangers until he realized that I deal with a ton of crap. Finding out it's really a JOB had a huge impact, and got him to stop giving me shit.
    Now he sometimes likes to watch me work so we can banter and joke during my breaks, and get a good laugh to kiss in between shows.
    This may not work.

    I've been with my husband for ten years, started camming with him about 3 years ago. He behaves inappropriately on cam, like just wanting to stick his dick in my mouth, which he thinks will get people to start tipping (it almost never does.) Making a schedule with him has been next to impossible... He does tend to throw the "why don't you act like that when it's just me and you" around...

    I make more money by myself. even if he's just off cam and nobody else knows he's there, I still make more when he's not there at all. But he HATES when i cam when he's not around.

    So just pointing out that your idea may work or may backfire.

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  36. #20
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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    Thanks for posting this, I too was wondering about this as I'm about to start camming again and don't like people around when I cam

  37. #21
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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    Quote Originally Posted by Chubbybunnyraven View Post
    This may not work.

    I've been with my husband for ten years, started camming with him about 3 years ago. He behaves inappropriately on cam, like just wanting to stick his dick in my mouth, which he thinks will get people to start tipping (it almost never does.) Making a schedule with him has been next to impossible... He does tend to throw the "why don't you act like that when it's just me and you" around...

    I make more money by myself. even if he's just off cam and nobody else knows he's there, I still make more when he's not there at all. But he HATES when i cam when he's not around.

    So just pointing out that your idea may work or may backfire.
    I appreciate the feedback honestly it's good to know that it won't work for everyone!

    I'm sorry you've had that much trouble with it though, generally (from what I've seen on here) couples camming can be really good for some relationships.

  38. #22
    Member icamthereforeiam's Avatar
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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    I have been with my husband for 14 years and camming for 5.
    He has always been supportive. I am thankful for that. Whens hes home while I cam . He plays video games. I think it does help drown out the moans and screams. Lol.

    Good luck to you. I just wanted to share my story with you.

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  40. #23
    Veteran Member Mistress Anika's Avatar
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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    My hubby and I were having similar issues. We both work from home (or can) and love spending time together. But for the love of god, I can't have him in the house while I film. Not because of 'sexyness' or being uncomfteble but because i'm a crazy control freak and I swear you can hear every single noise he makes (ie breathing) on my videos.

    Its weird.

    So after about 6 months of "Just let me know what you need, Babe" and me thinking I had made it VERY VERY Clear; We realized that neither of us was really communicating.

    - Ask him if he likes feeling like other people are looking over his shoulder when hes working.

    - Explain that the work/income stress is causing stress in your relationship.

    - Explain to him that just like his job, you have working hours.

    - Label these hours as "WORK HOURS" - ie: I need to start getting ready at 7, i'm going to log in at 8 and log off at 12. Can you leave the house while I'm working.

    Scheduling/labeling the working hours is what finally worked for me and my hubby (and as an additional perk, has given my day more structure)

    Good Luck.


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  42. #24
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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    I'm sorry you're having this problem...do you think he's hearing things that he wishes you'd say to him? Could you offer him his own private cam show?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


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  43. #25
    Veteran Member Sally Says's Avatar
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    Default Re: BF/No Privacy

    dont feel guilty for doing your job and dont feel guilty for doing it well. My bf also works from home and it took me ages to not feel self conscious

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