My mom is a good person, but she has really bad habits (like being selfish, unreliable, unable to take suggestions) and is not self aware enough to realize what she is doing and that makes her really, really hard to be around sometimes.
Yesterday, for example, she was super mad at me for not taking care of her cat. She has never asked me to take care of her cat, nor has she ever asked me to take care of the cat, nor do I have any history of taking care of the cat, but she thinks I just should have "known" or taken the initiative to check on the cat when she wasn't home.
I also think she is trying to sabotage my diet (whether consciously or unconsciously). She knows I have been working really hard at my diet and I am losing weight but I still have a ways to go. The day before yesterday she set out a plate of food she had saved for me (this is really unusual), it was lasagna, plantains, one stalk of broccoli, and three bean salad (what a combo, right?). I was like, you know I am on a diet, why would you give me this food? I was starving and had like 3 bites and was so mad at myself for it. Yesterday, she bought all these "healthy" (if processed food can be healthy) frozen dinners. I was hungry and tired from working so much and didn't feel like cooking. I asked her if I could have one and she said no. (We are food sharers, not sharing food is super unusual and very passive aggressive). I was like, WTF?
Because it is the holidays and I have to spend one-on-one time with her and I just want to hide from her and not talk to her for awhile. I am living with her to finish school and I am in no position to move out right now. I just need to suck it up and deal with her. Her crazy makes me so frustrated! I should note, my mom didn't have parents who raised her, had a really unstable and bad childhood and is a remarkably good parent, all things considered. But she is working my last nerve!!! We have a holiday event tomorrow that I promised to go to with her months ago and I am just like going to have to channel all the patience and zen I can muster. I wonder if youtube has guided mediation, holiday family edition?
Do you have crazy parents?



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It's super frustrating, but I've finally come to a place where I can get her to tell me what she really wants by switching between talking about the topic of contention and distracting her randomly with off topic comments. I do this with customers in the club to overcome their issues with buying VIPs, and it works great with family, too.

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