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Thread: Kissing the managers' ass or just being nice?

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Leica's Avatar
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    Duh Kissing the managers' ass or just being nice?

    Hi y'all,
    So I work at pretty nice club where the staff and management are nice and easy to get along with for the most part. They put up with our drunken shenanigans and crazy antics. We pay a dressing room fee of $10 per shift, tip the dj( if it's a dead night we just get them next time, they are understanding) and often tip the staff quite well especially when we bank. Lately our club has been dead as fuck and none of us are making much $$$. My bff who dances at the same club wants me to contribute $20 to a collection find that she wants to give our manager for her birthday this weekend. The girls want to get her a cake and card as well. Which is cool I wouldn't mind contributing to a cake but I'm fucking flabbergasted that these girls want to give our manager (the only salaried employee at the club) $3-400 when we aren't even making that most nights! Not only that, but the club also takes $5 from each dance on top of the other fees. It's just crazy to me that they're doing that. I politely declined and laughed my ass off when I got off the phone. $20 is not a big deal at all. My issue is that many of us have been working there for several years and not once has she gotten a cake /card for the dancers. She always gets one for the staff thou. I happily and generously contributed to a fund when our DJ got sick but this shit is crazy to me. What do y'all think? Am I petty or are they crazy?
    Adapt and Overcome.

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    Veteran Member Miss_Red's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kissing the managers' ass or just being nice?

    I'd consider that a $20 investment in my relationship with the management, and worth every penny. Just avoiding the fallout over having the manager discover that you refused to contribute towards the cake and card would be worth the $20, and giving the impression that you're part of the team is worth even more.

    Of course it's bullshit, but life is full of that kind of bullshit. I will always invest in good relationships with the people that influence my money, within reason.

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    Veteran Member Leica's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kissing the managers' ass or just being nice?

    You have a good point. I'm sure that's part of why they're doing it. And I completely agree with you on making an investment...except I already do. Every night I work. I tip often and I tip very well. I think the super ass kissing nature of it is what's hard to stomach for me. Trust me I know it's a game and how to play but something just rubbed me wrong about this ...I can't quite put my finger on it. I think it's the fact that the club has been so dead coupled with the fact that she only ever does similar things for staff is what's bothering me. Thank you for your input. Definitely food for thought.
    Adapt and Overcome.

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    Veteran Member Leica's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kissing the managers' ass or just being nice?

    Oh , and I'm fine with her knowing that I didn't contribute. I don't think it'll affect how she treats me. It's unlikely she'll even know and even if she does somehow find out I really don't think she'll care. That's not really her personality. Plus, I'm not going to be at this club much longer anyways.
    Adapt and Overcome.

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    Default Re: Kissing the managers' ass or just being nice?

    That is ass kissing at its finest lol and I wouldnt contribute especially if I didn't see myself at the club much longer.

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    Veteran Member Miss_Red's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kissing the managers' ass or just being nice?

    Aah. I agree that if you're leaving the club soon, there's not much point. Especially if it feels weird and bad.

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    Default Re: Kissing the managers' ass or just being nice?

    the fact that you said she contributes to party favors for the staff but not the dancers is what left a bad taste in my mouth. and 3-4 hundo for a manager whose already making more than you guys during a slow period?? ha!!

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    Veteran Member Artema's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kissing the managers' ass or just being nice?

    Yep, they cray. They just sound desperate and sorry but, weird. I'm not a huge gift giving type anyway and to give it to a salaried stripclub manager doesn't compute.

    There's no need to asskiss in a club that's not making money.




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    Senior Member Leather_Jacket's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kissing the managers' ass or just being nice?

    Also, whose rounding up this money... I mean if it were the girls at my club making these plans, I would be on high alert for a dancer lining her own pockets with extra cash. Maybe buy a small present of your own, that way you seem involved with the birthday while staying out of the weirdness.

    That being said, I would weigh the outcomes... If you don't participate, you risk being the subject of gossip between the girls involved (how many girls have said yes? Are there several other girls who also think that this whole plan is nuts.) Management also may or may not end up being informed that you didn't pitch in. If you buy your own gift, you'll probably end up having to spend that $20 anyway and have to put in the effort going to the store and finding something suitable. If you decide to pay the $20, you are involved and stay low on the radar while investing in important business relationships with your co-workers and management... however, you could also end up being swindled out of $20. Even if that doesn't happen, handing $300 - $400 to management after already paying house and dance fees is pretty insane. If you're close with this girl can't you explain why this plan may spoil your management... hell, if your management is as great as you say, they may even feel awkward taking that much money from you guys esp if they know business has been slow (now that I think about it, there may even be laws in place that would prevent management from taking additional money from dancers, but I could be wrong.) Yeah, I would just buy him a present on my own terms and suggest they do the same.

    (As a side note: Whatever you do, do not get involved with anything other then giving them your share of the birthday cash if that's what you decide to do and certainly don't touch anyone else share. I wouldn't even go to the store or pick anything out with them, just blame being busy. Cause if the change turns up missing, you want nothing to do with it.)
    Last edited by Leather_Jacket; 12-19-2015 at 07:52 PM.

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    Default Re: Kissing the managers' ass or just being nice?

    I hear you Leather_Jacket. I'm paranoid with stuff like that. However, at our club the dancers are pretty tight with each other. Besides that they made a list of everyone who contributed & how much so they could keep track. What my friend did was take all the cash and purchased a gift card for her after deducting flowers, a bottle and a cake. She had the receipt and they all presented it to get together. I'm the same way thou. I don't give others my $$$ and I don't lay hands on anyone else's.

    BUT guess what ladies? We had a mandatory meeting at the club on Saturday. We walk into the dressing room & they dropped the bomb on us that the club is closing and that that evening would be our last night. No warning whatsoever. Boy, was I ever glad I didn't contribute. I know it sounds kinda petty but I wanted to burst out laughing. My friend was so mad. In all seriousness thou, many of the girls and staff were crying at the end of the night. The irony was hilarious to me. We all had a last shot together and went home with kinda heavy hearts. I didn't cry but I tested up a bit when I saw my huge, ex Marine manager bawling. Inspire of the bs that's inherent to every club for the most part it was truly like a family. A dysfunctional one but still. One of my friends has been in the industry for over 23 years & she said hands down it was the best club she'd ever worked at. On to the next one.
    Adapt and Overcome.

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    Default Re: Kissing the managers' ass or just being nice?

    Quote Originally Posted by Leica View Post
    I hear you Leather_Jacket. I'm paranoid with stuff like that. However, at our club the dancers are pretty tight with each other. Besides that they made a list of everyone who contributed & how much so they could keep track. What my friend did was take all the cash and purchased a gift card for her after deducting flowers, a bottle and a cake. She had the receipt and they all presented it to get together. I'm the same way thou. I don't give others my $$$ and I don't lay hands on anyone else's.

    BUT guess what ladies? We had a mandatory meeting at the club on Saturday. We walk into the dressing room & they dropped the bomb on us that the club is closing and that that evening would be our last night. No warning whatsoever. Boy, was I ever glad I didn't contribute. I know it sounds kinda petty but I wanted to burst out laughing. My friend was so mad. In all seriousness thou, many of the girls and staff were crying at the end of the night. The irony was hilarious to me. We all had a last shot together and went home with kinda heavy hearts. I didn't cry but I tested up a bit when I saw my huge, ex Marine manager bawling. Inspire of the bs that's inherent to every club for the most part it was truly like a family. A dysfunctional one but still. One of my friends has been in the industry for over 23 years & she said hands down it was the best club she'd ever worked at. On to the next one.
    Aw when clubs close or there's talk of one closing I always feel bad for the managers and bouncers/door guys. If a club closes for us we can just start at a new one the next day but it's not as easy for them. Poor guys.

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    Veteran Member Leica's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kissing the managers' ass or just being nice?

    The club is Mardi Gras in North Oxford, MA just so you guys know. In case anyone in the northeast was planning on going there.
    Adapt and Overcome.

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