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Thread: Hello i am in need of advice

  1. #1
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    Default Hello i am in need of advice

    I am 18 years old and I've even curious about being a dancer/stripper since I was 15 lol that's when I got pregnant , anyways money's been tight and at the time I am not employed and my child is not in my care and I have one year left to prove I can do it and get him back and because of being unemployed I've been losing apartments and that's why I lost him to.. It sucks..
    anyways I love my child and I am still with his father we are going on 4 years together but the father doesn't know I want to be a dancer and his opinion on dancers is terrible
    i am scared to tell him because I think he will break up with me or call me terrible things for it lol
    any advice lady's ? I do know a lot about the good and the bad parts of being a dancer and right now I am desperate to get my child back and get into college or university thanks lady's

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    Default Re: Hello i am in need of advice

    what is he contributing? was he not working either when your son was taken away? if he isn't, then definitely ditch the dead weight and get your son back, and your life back together. that should be your number 1 priority right now

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    Default Re: Hello i am in need of advice

    No he isn't working he is saying he is going to go back to college but that will take a long time and I'm worried shitless lol pardon my language
    I want my son back Forsure I just took the baby daddy back after a little break up not a long break up at all tho
    I don't know where your from but In canada we have family and children's services and that is who I am fighting
    Do you know what they think about dancers? I don't want them to use that against me now either

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    Default Re: Hello i am in need of advice

    Also do you lady's think I should dance some where sort of far from my home town? I don't want to see friends or relatives coming in I think I would get weirded out lol

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    Default Re: Hello i am in need of advice

    Is there a professional therapist you can talk to? This all involves your son and future, I think it'd be wise to talk to a professional rather than get advice on here about something that is so important. Surely they could help you create a game plan to get your son back and secure your future.

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    Default Re: Hello i am in need of advice

    Hey girl,

    Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I can't imagine being in your situation, I'm sure it isn't easy and it's great that you're taking initiative.

    My advice to you would be to think about what is best for you and your child. I know that social services can be really brutal with young mothers and it can require a lot of loop holes to jump through in order to be able to be reunited with your child.

    I used to work in social services in Ontario, so my advice is based on that. I don't know if it's the same as where you are from but I imagine there's a lot of similarities.

    Stability is a major thing your social worker will look for. This includes your relationships, your job, your support network, your housing etc. Dancing can be a great way to have financial stability but it's also really stigmatized and depending on who is handling your case, they may or may not recognize it as a legit form of work. I know this is total crap but it might not be bad to try to find other work and then supplement your earnings by dancing. Or perhaps enrolling in school part time and dancing on top of that. It's good to have something on the books as a source of income.

    I don't know about the nature of your relationship with your childs father but it seems like things could potentially be a little off if you're afraid of telling him you would like to start dancing in order to provide for your child. Maybe it just requires an honest conversation and perhaps it will take some time for him to get used to the idea but ultimately this is your decision. If he is not willing to support you and your child, then he is not worthy of having in your life. Your social worker will ask about your relationship with him and about how he contributes to the family. It's important that you guys are strong and united together and that you is taking all of this as seriously as you seem to be. It's not just up to you to get a job and make money, this is his responsibility as well. He needs to first show to you that he is serious about getting to your child back and then together you can work with children's services in order show them that you are prepared to be parents.

    About dancing in your home town or not, this depends on where you lived. I lived in Hamilton, Ontario when I first started dancing but I choose to go elsewhere for work. But I was able to commute to another club with friends. If you don't have this option, dancing in your home down doesn't have to be a write off. A lot of girls do it and manage to stay anonymous.

    Good luck girl!

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    Default Re: Hello i am in need of advice

    My advice is if you do decide to dance make sure you don't get caught up in the dancer "lifestyle" its just a job not a lifestyle. Ive seen so many girls struggle with alcoholism and being a drug addict and you never think its going to happen you its just one shot because you had a bad day...ect. You don't have shots at normal jobs and its nothing different with dancing...best of luck to you though girl!

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    Default Re: Hello i am in need of advice

    Well, it doesn't sound like ur guy w b good w dancing..
    But then again, he's not working either, & a year isn't a whole lot of time to get $$$ for a decent pl to live, & schooling for you, plus to get ur child bk..
    Iguess I'd say try to get hired @ a club & go from there..
    We have a section, Clubs & Reviews, look in there also Club Chat. Some info may be outdated but just to get an idea..also look on tuscl.com to get a feel for which clubs are busy
    Good luck hon


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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