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Thread: Crazy exes... what to do when a dudes crazy ex girlfriend is harassing me?

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    Default Crazy exes... what to do when a dudes crazy ex girlfriend is harassing me?

    Ok so i know this guy, i didn't meet him at the club he was a friend of my caregiver's son and they both have come into the strip club together before. I have definitely given the person in question lap dances. He also has my number and we hooked up a month or so ago, just for fun im not an escort i just liked the guy and thought he was really cute and im single so i figured what the heck. However what I did not realize at the time was that this guy is a total jerk, he apparently had a girlfriend of 6 years that i was unaware of or at least the breakup must have been super super recent because a week or so later i texted him around 3am and she apparently was with him and sent me messages from her phone "why are you texting my boyfriend at 3am". I couldnt believe the guy had a girlfriend he totally lied to me and i was outraged. I sent her some really nice messages saying the guy was a jerk and she deserved better and that i knew the guy because i was looking for party favors for my girlfriend, which is a lie because neither of us do those things but i didnt know what else to say about texting the guy that was obviously cheating on his girlfriend with me so thats what i said. Although he still claims that she is an ex girlfiend and that she is a psycho and wont accept that its over, which i dont believe because the guy seems like a lying jerk.

    Well she just sent me the longest most threatening text message ever about how she knows i slept with this guy, and she wants to get me in trouble for doing "sex and drug deals in the place that i work" ... which is total BS on both accounts. She also said i was a dumb and worthless and that i had no brain and i must have daddy issues and i should "go play in traffic" and "it might be fun to ruin my life". I just want to know if i should be worried about this? I have never done anything illegal but i dont know if there are some kind of weird laws that could get me in trouble? It makes me really upset because im just trying to pay my way through school and i never wanted to hook up with anyones boyfriend, obviously the guy was a total douchebag and lied to both of us and this girl was extremely mean to me when im just trying to get my s**t together and be a doctor eventually. Should i reply to her ridiculous and long threatening message? Or should i just block her? If she has a screen shots of our conversation is there any way she could get me in trouble legally because i mentioned party favors? i dont actually do those things i was just lying because the girl caught me off guard when i realized i was the other woman. I have definitely never done anything illegal, ive known this guy for a while from before i was even a dancer. I am just wondering if anyone has any legal advice or if i should be worried about getting in some kind of legal trouble or getting fired somehow? Im nervous because the girl sounds like a seriously disturbed person the way she was speaking to me. And she hurt my feelings, girls can be so mean which is ridiculous because i am one of the nicest people ever and i would never dream of speaking to someone in that manner.

    Also i just want to make it clear that i have never hooked up with any customers before. In fact, aside from my ex boyfriend ive only slept with 2 guys in the last 4 years and one of them was this cheating jerk, apparently i picked a real loser. I just wanted to make it clear that i am not even promiscuous this was just a terrible mistake gone awfully awry and im just looking for some peace of mind that there is no way something like this could ever jeopardize me somehow. My girlfriend and I are both a little worried and i am more than a little bit offended.

    I greatly appreciate any advice or comments, how should i respond to this situation?

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    Featured Member ava$'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Crazy exes... what to do when a dudes crazy ex girlfriend is harassing me?

    IDK why u even lied to her in the first place, i woulda told her exactly what happened and let her get mad, u did nothing wrong and how does she even know where u work or anything about u? She probably wouldn't even know who u were if she came to ur club unless there was a pik of u in his phone or he told u… I don't think u can get in trouble 4 claiming to look 4 party favors, she can't do shit to u especially if she doesn't know what u look like, if she does, id bring protection to wrk with me and carry something to defend yourself with around the club like a beer bottle or something. Just be prepared, girls will kill u over shit like this.

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Crazy exes... what to do when a dudes crazy ex girlfriend is harassing me?

    Am I being naive or is there something bad meant by party favors? I'm literally picturing balloons over here... :shrugs:

    I highly doubt anything can happen to you legally. If she comes to your club, have her tossed out by the bouncers. To get handcuffed over 'sex and drug deals', you'd have to proposition a cop in the club or something. They can't do anything off text messages, especially with no factual basis except one girl accusing the other.

    Honestly, I think if she knows he cheated on her, she should just be dumping his ass and moving along, and that it's pretty pathetic for her to go after you like this.
    I would just ignore her. She'll lose her head of steam after a bit and maybe start thinking about him instead of you.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

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    Default Re: Crazy exes... what to do when a dudes crazy ex girlfriend is harassing me?

    Quote Originally Posted by Selina M View Post
    Am I being naive or is there something bad meant by party favors? I'm literally picturing balloons over here... :shrugs:
    lol! I'm pretty sure party favors means drugs.

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    Default Re: Crazy exes... what to do when a dudes crazy ex girlfriend is harassing me?

    no she cannot do anything legally , unless you are caught selling to somebody or setting up deals..keep your nose clean and you'll be totally fine. tell the bouncers/manager not to allow either of them into your club. block the crazies number. and you'll be fine. you didn't do anything, he's the scumbag, so dont let that crazed lunatic hurt your feelings..she should be mad at her man, not you

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    Featured Member kaninchen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Crazy exes... what to do when a dudes crazy ex girlfriend is harassing me?

    Just block her number and forget it ever happened. What's she going to do, go to the police station and say, "This girl tried to buy DRUGS from my boyfriend!!! I have this ambiguous text that proves it! Go arrest her!" Could you imagine how few fucks law enforcement would give over one text message that you sent? It's like when people call 911 for directions or homework help.

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    Exclamation Re: Crazy exes... what to do when a dudes crazy ex girlfriend is harassing me?

    Quote Originally Posted by ava$ View Post
    IDK why u even lied to her in the first place, i woulda told her exactly what happened and let her get mad, u did nothing wrong and how does she even know where u work or anything about u? She probably wouldn't even know who u were if she came to ur club unless there was a pik of u in his phone or he told u… I don't think u can get in trouble 4 claiming to look 4 party favors, she can't do shit to u especially if she doesn't know what u look like, if she does, id bring protection to wrk with me and carry something to defend yourself with around the club like a beer bottle or something. Just be prepared, girls will kill u over shit like this.
    This, esp. bolded parts..
    Only, I'd say, why'd you contact her @ all, but nvr mind, it's done..
    I'm fairly certain you're not/can't be in legal trouble, just watch out cause she does actually sound like a certified Psycho..
    Be careful, watch your back @ all times, & yeah block her #.


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    Default Re: Crazy exes... what to do when a dudes crazy ex girlfriend is harassing me?

    Quote Originally Posted by Selina M View Post
    Am I being naive or is there something bad meant by party favors? I'm literally picturing balloons over here... :shrugs:
    Quote Originally Posted by 22lligm View Post
    lol! I'm pretty sure party favors means drugs.
    LOL! I'm glad I wasn't the only one who was confused about the party favors reference. Drugs definitely make more sense than what I was thinking about!


    Anyways, to the OP: I also don't understand why you lied to the ex(?) gf. You did nothing wrong; you had no idea the guy had a girlfriend. And IME, I was interested in a guy who told me his gf was a "crazy ex" as well. I received a text later on from her (on his phone) telling me to back off, and it caught me off guard. All I did was apologize (because like you, I had no intention of hooking up with a guy who had a gf) and left him AND her alone. If I were you, I wouldn't engage in anymore conversation with her. Her threats are probably meant to scare you into leaving him alone, which is what you should do anyway. Just block their numbers and move on.

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    Default Re: Crazy exes... what to do when a dudes crazy ex girlfriend is harassing me?

    Sigh. She can't do anything. She's in an unhappy relationship and found out her boyfriend was cheating on her right before Christmas. She can tell you're a little inexperienced with this kind of thing, which is why she's having so much fun with you. If the things she's saying aren't true, don't let them affect you. If they are true-I'm sure they're not, you wouldn't be freaking out like this-it's still not something to lose sleep over. PS-this is why it's a good idea to have more than one phone.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: Crazy exes... what to do when a dudes crazy ex girlfriend is harassing me?

    I bet that guy never bothered to tell his ex he was "breaking up" but continued to sleep with her and let her figure it out. If it were me, I'd block and delete both of their numbers and never speak to the douchebag again.

    She isn't likely to do anything. She's just mad and taking it out on you. IMO, if she wants him that badly, maybe she kind of deserves him.

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