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Thread: Dealing with crushes on fellow dancers

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    Default Dealing with crushes on fellow dancers

    This question is for my fellow bisexual or lesbian dancers. How do you deal if you start to develop a crush on someone you work with without it being awkward or affecting your work?

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    God/dess Zofia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with crushes on fellow dancers

    Girl/Girl shows make bank. If there's real attraction between the girls, guys seem to pay even more. The problem is the almost inevitable breakup. That leads to loss of money and loss of the crush. :-( Honestly, I never figured out a good way to handle the breakup.

    XOXO
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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with crushes on fellow dancers

    same way you deal with crushes in any other job..keep it professional and respectful at work. i also dont advise getting into a romantic relationship in a professional setting..maybe switch clubs/jobs if anything comes of it.

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    Default Re: Dealing with crushes on fellow dancers

    I think this only happened to me once where I didn't end up face palming it.. And its probably cuz I was too shy to even fathom telling her . It was when I first started, and I remember we did some girl/girl shows... That's about the jist of that. Lol she left after like a month or two... Idk what happened to her but she was hot af...

    Honestly as I saw how jaded 80% of the girls were after that, and how they'd "date" for attention from guys & crap and it it eventually made it virtually IMPOSSIBLE to crush on fellow dancer again :-(

    The thing about it is girls are a lot more likely to say they are bisexual or whatever at at the clubs but I wonder how much of that is the "drunk" lesbian stereotype or for attention/appeal to men than it is truly gay or bisexual women... At least in my experience. Like, I it was obvious it was just for show after awhile. So I just kinda learned to keep it to myself...

    The few girls I thought were cute or saw potential in always ruined it by the above or some kinda drama... And imho all youre probably gonna get at the clubs. Even if you kept it yourselves (a lot of girls LOVE truly any kind of attention/drama & will meddle, we all know)& are an expert at separating work & feelings... If it crumbles, which in an environment like that no matter the club it is quite likely... Then I think its just best to not even mention it.

    But this is just my opinion! =]
    Last edited by submissive bitch; 01-02-2016 at 10:42 AM.
    to resist despair, cause you cant change everything
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    Default Re: Dealing with crushes on fellow dancers

    I, as well, came to find that more than half of the girls in our world is just "bar kissing". Meaning most only kiss other girls just for show. I have had many crushes but would either let that person know out of friendly flirtation or just keep it to myself if I hardly even spoken to her. If I do talk to my crush I usually find out if she is just friendly, flirty or a person that truly is, like myself, lives a life that includes romantic relationships with woymn. I am bisexual and proud and I won't make any more out of it than a crush if she is not honest/serious or just flat out against her sexual orientation of being either bisexual or lesbian. Don't mind kissing "bar kissing" girls for fun or if it brings money in our pockets either but to make more out of it that's a no-go. Just talk to your peers/crush in a friendly way and let it flow.
    "All you care about is dancing."

    "I beg to differ, what is sports than a dance between two teams? What is business but a dance between two companies, I like to learn about every kind of dance." ----Memoirs Of A Geisha.
    (For those that know the movie I replaced sumo with sports, it seems fitting here.)


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    Default Re: Dealing with crushes on fellow dancers

    I agree with you all; just like at any other job professionalism is critical. Back in the day I had a few crushes and perhaps I was too clumsy while trying to make advances on those girls because the results were extremely humiliating and painful. In fact, the drama that followed suit forced me to find a different club (ironically, that new club turned to be much better, but that is a different story, and it was completely incidental).

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    Default Re: Dealing with crushes on fellow dancers

    I had this happen one time. I feel like she probably noticed because I was a complete puppy dog around her, but I never made any moves or anything. It kind of worked out for the best when she quit coming back to the club.
    If it happened again I probably wouldn't pursue it, or if I did it would be real slow going to make sure she had an actual interest in me. I'd hang out with her outside of work and make sure she was really into girls and not just for show before allowing myself to flirt and I'd try to show interest mainly outside of work so she'd know it wasn't for the customers either.

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    Default Re: Dealing with crushes on fellow dancers

    I'm not gay or bi but if I was I sure as hell wouldn't date 98% of the dancers I met. Most of them had so many damn issues (hard drugs, tons of insecurities, sex addiction, other mental illness etc) that it made it difficult for to even be friends with them otc. I couldn't imagine trying to date one. If you did have a crush I would get to know her very slowly as friends and see how she is otc before you get into a relationship. I've tried getting to know so many dancers because they seemed cool and chill itc and then turned out to be buckets of crazy as soon as they put real pants on. Very disappointing.

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    Default Re: Dealing with crushes on fellow dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by wednesday86 View Post
    I'm not gay or bi but if I was I sure as hell wouldn't date 98% of the dancers I met. Most of them had so many damn issues (hard drugs, tons of insecurities, sex addiction, other mental illness etc) that it made it difficult for to even be friends with them otc. I couldn't imagine trying to date one. If you did have a crush I would get to know her very slowly as friends and see how she is otc before you get into a relationship. I've tried getting to know so many dancers because they seemed cool and chill itc and then turned out to be buckets of crazy as soon as they put real pants on. Very disappointing.
    I agree. The one and only 'friend' I had at the club was amazing at the club. She was sweet and we had so much in common. Otc she was completely another person. i discovered she was super paranoid, always super late or would cancel last minute on our plans, and was so self centered. She since moved to another state and we chat once in a while on the phone. She's ok to chat to on the phone sometimes but in person she's totally different.

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    Default Re: Dealing with crushes on fellow dancers

    crush on a dancer 0mg yes hell yes.....played with it doing hot girl girl shows never went "that far" just in the club and a work thing.... haveing a commited live in girl friend ... never crossed the line .....she is my love of my life would never risk messing that up...

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    Default Re: Dealing with crushes on fellow dancers

    That's how I got my nick name glass jaw lol . Liked a girl and came on to her very politely I might say, she socked me in the jaw and I was unconscious for several minutes. Even have the damn pictures b/c everyone took one in back room. She apologized and said it was just a bad day but she got fired. I'd worked with her for months no problems.

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    Default Re: Dealing with crushes on fellow dancers

    I enjoy looking but I'd never shit where I eat. I've seen one in club relationship work and that was a married couple.

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    Default Re: Dealing with crushes on fellow dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren2002 View Post
    That's how I got my nick name glass jaw lol . Liked a girl and came on to her very politely I might say, she socked me in the jaw and I was unconscious for several minutes. Even have the damn pictures b/c everyone took one in back room. She apologized and said it was just a bad day but she got fired. I'd worked with her for months no problems.

    WTF! As mentioned earlier, I recommend to keep it professional.
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

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    Default Re: Dealing with crushes on fellow dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    same way you deal with crushes in any other job..keep it professional and respectful at work. i also dont advise getting into a romantic relationship in a professional setting..maybe switch clubs/jobs if anything comes of it.
    I agree. Crushes on the job are such a hassle. Use that sexy chemistry to foster good working partnerships (it's amazing what people will do for each other when attracted) and for sexy believable doubles, but try as hard as you can to keep it professional.

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    Default Re: Dealing with crushes on fellow dancers

    Exactly. Enjoy the fact that you get to see naked women all day at work and try to keep it in the admiration zone. I LOVE women but the idea of alienating a coworker with advances in an environment where we are payed to be sexual is a total turn-off for me. If you love women, respect them.

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    Default Re: Dealing with crushes on fellow dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by Gia2608 View Post
    WTF! As mentioned earlier, I recommend to keep it professional.
    I guess I thought I replied but didn't. But lol since then I have. She is at different club but we still see each other and we are cordial.

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