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Thread: Dancer can't handle rejection for her lapdance offers

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    Default Dancer can't handle rejection for her lapdance offers

    So me and my friend have frequented this titty bar in Los Angeles where we usually get beers and a lapdance. We tend to drink first before getting a dance unless we see a dancer we like.

    However, the last few times we have went, there's one dancer (who we believe doesn't recgonize us) and she always offers us a dance. We've never accepted a dance from her and each time she asks us, she would ask us while me and my friend were in a conversation or working on our beers. We'd always tried being polite telling her "Maybe later" or "Not interested in a dance at the moment" or "My friend and I are enjoying our beers/conversation right now so we're not interested". And she's always been incredibly rude and insulting towards us after we reject her.

    Any suggestions on how to deal with her rude demeanor? I particularly like this place but her negative attitude makes us hesitant to visit this joint because it's a total mood killer. Should we continue parroting the same polite phrases, confront her about her approach, or just find a new place?

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    Default Re: Dancer can't handle rejection for her lapdance offers

    She seems like she may be on drugs. IMO, I don't know her. Don't stop going, just don't let her ruin the good time. Same advice I would give a dancer, not to let some douchebag customer ruin their night... don't let a douchebag dancer ruin yours. Maybe you guys can start out sitting at the bar???
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    Default Re: Dancer can't handle rejection for her lapdance offers

    You only need three words:

    No thank you.

    You don't need to say anything after it. You don't need to embellish it. I understand you are trying to be polite, but the above words are polite enough. Plus any embellishments are just going to imply your are really saying "maybe later." And that is really the problem. If there is any hesitation or any indication that your no is not serious or not firm, she's going to want to turn your no into a yes. Basically you need to learn how to guard your space a little better. You'll have a better time in the SC once you learn how.

    There are also a number of other threads in the archive here, or on the blue side in the Strip Club Junkie forum, on how to say no to dancers and how to decline dances.

    https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sh...=1#post2288522

    https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sh...ances-at-clubs

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    Default Re: Dancer can't handle rejection for her lapdance offers

    Quote Originally Posted by runaway42 View Post
    Any suggestions on how to deal with her rude demeanor?
    Absolutely - grow a thicker skin. Be men and understand that this is just a silly and frustrated girl who has a bad attitude. You'll find girls like this at many clubs, though they are usually in the minority. So if you are overly sensitive to girls who behave badly, then perhaps a sports bar may be a better place for you and your bud to have a brew.

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    Thumbs up Re: Dancer can't handle rejection for her lapdance offers

    I'm sorry, but am I the only one that finds this freakin' hilarious??
    "She doesn't recognize us"?
    Are you famous or something?


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

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    Default Re: Dancer can't handle rejection for her lapdance offers

    @whirlerz, no he means because they frequent the club and its the same girl over and over. Or, maybe they are Affleck and Damon!
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

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    Default Re: Dancer can't handle rejection for her lapdance offers

    Thanks for the replies! And yeah, the "recognize us" portion was to show that we frequent the place a lot.

    It doesn't hurt our feelings to see her whine to us but it's just annoying and wondered if there was something wrong on our side. I guess we'll be a bit more colder in our rejections.

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    Default Re: Dancer can't handle rejection for her lapdance offers

    Tell her you don't have any money, she'll go away and stay away. Way better to be honest than let her waste time sitting for free in hopes of getting money.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: Dancer can't handle rejection for her lapdance offers

    Can you flesh out how she was being rude after you turned her down? To me 'whining' and 'incredibly rude and insulting' are different, like if a girl said 'come on guys please' or said 'f*ck you guys then'.

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    Default Re: Dancer can't handle rejection for her lapdance offers

    If if she can't accept "no thank you"...then she isn't a girl to worry about.

    Quote Originally Posted by runaway42 View Post
    So me and my friend have frequented this titty bar in Los Angeles where we usually get beers and a lapdance. We tend to drink first before getting a dance unless we see a dancer we like.

    However, the last few times we have went, there's one dancer (who we believe doesn't recgonize us) and she always offers us a dance. We've never accepted a dance from her and each time she asks us, she would ask us while me and my friend were in a conversation or working on our beers. We'd always tried being polite telling her "Maybe later" or "Not interested in a dance at the moment" or "My friend and I are enjoying our beers/conversation right now so we're not interested". And she's always been incredibly rude and insulting towards us after we reject her.

    Any suggestions on how to deal with her rude demeanor? I particularly like this place but her negative attitude makes us hesitant to visit this joint because it's a total mood killer. Should we continue parroting the same polite phrases, confront her about her approach, or just find a new place?

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    Default Re: Dancer can't handle rejection for her lapdance offers

    Are you sure you aren't being rude in your tone of voice when you speak to her? I've had customers say "ummmm we are trying to discuss something here" when I ask them for a dance.Some people consider that rude.
    You need to remember that you are in a place of business. It's our job to offer customer service. You are sitting there because you want the drinks/conversation/dances being offered by ladies who are working the room.

    What exactly has she said to you that was so incredibly rude and insulting?

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    Default Re: Dancer can't handle rejection for her lapdance offers

    Has she always been rude and nasty when you've turned her down, or has it developed over time? I'll also chime in that I'm curious what exactly she's saying. If you have no intention of ever buying a dance from this girl, stop giving her the "maybe later" lines. Just say no thank you and turn away, making it clear you aren't interested in her at all. Maybe it's not that she doesn't recognize you - If you come in so often, are always telling her "maybe later," and then never buying dances from her, maybe she's gotten hostile because she considers you cheap, barfly timewasters that keep implying that you'll buy later, but never do.

    I'm not saying that makes an attitude problem right, but getting rid of her could be as simple as not using vague dismissal lines anymore. If you can't be adult enough to give a real rejection, instead of tossing out "maybe later" when you have no intention of doing anything later, you can't expect much more maturity in return. Or, if you would be interested in dances from her later, say something definitive like "Not right now. But visit us in 20 minutes if you're not busy, and we'll have a couple beers in us and be ready to party by then" so she knows you're not just blowing her off over and over.
    Last edited by Aurora_Sunset; 01-08-2016 at 10:34 AM.
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    Default Re: Dancer can't handle rejection for her lapdance offers

    Quote Originally Posted by runaway42 View Post
    (who we believe doesn't recgonize us)
    Honestly... she probably DOESN'T remember you. I don't recognize anyone who doesn't spend really good money, tbh... including regulars who are there every day.
    As for the rest... "maybe later" or "not at the moment" or "oh we're just having a drink" are the most annoying answers a dancer can get because you have no way of knowing whether or not that means someone will spend money later and whether or not you need to sit there and chat for a bit... or sit and have a drink with them... or if you need to come back by 3 more times to see if they're ready. If she seems rude, that might be why.
    That or she does recognize you and she's rude because you never give a direct answer.

    I'd try being more direct. You don't need to be rude or cold. "No, thank you." might work just fine. And if it doesn't... she's probably rude to everyone who doesn't get a dance, some girls are just like that. Laugh it off and move on. Or if it's THAT bad... tell the guy at the door "Hey, xx dancer is really rude... can you please ask her to not talk to us?"
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
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