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Thread: Depression and finding motivation. Please help!

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    Default Depression and finding motivation. Please help!

    Hi ladies. This is going to be long but I really need some help and appreciate any advice. So I have been doing this for about 6 years now. About a year and a half ago I got pregnant and had a miscarriage. I got severely depressed and have gained about 30 pounds. I have been barely working since then. I have felt unattractive and not motivated. When I do cam, I still make just as much and have had some of my long term customers say they think I look better because a lot of the weight has gone to my butt, boobs and thighs. I recently got married and moved in with my husband. He makes a decent living but we decided to keep separate bank accounts for now. He pays for all the bills except my car payment. I have always wanted to be a nurse so my husband told me to start school this semester and focus on that instead of worrying about working and money. I went to the doctor last week and finally went on antidepressants. I didn't want to attempt college while in a deep depression. She also gave me phentermine to help with my weight since I'm overweight now and antidepressants can cause weight gain. I am trying to get back on track. I used to have over $30,000 in savings. Now I have less than $1,000. I really want to build my savings account up, pay my car off and be able to help my husband out but I can't find the motivation. I work just a few days a month so I can make enough to pay my car payment and have gas money then I coast through until it's due again. How do you find motivation to cam even when you have no motivation? I thought about just waiting until the pills are helping, focusing on school and losing weight and trying again in a few months. Part of me just feels like it's time I'm wasting though. Thanks in advance.

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    God/dess Marina Starr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Depression and finding motivation. Please help!

    First, sorry about your lost but congratulation on seeking professional help. It always makes me happy to see people taking ownership of their lives and well being.
    It sounds like you also have a good and supportive husband so that's wonderful. I commend you for starting nursing school. It's one of those professions that you can always find a job. An investment that will help you stand on your own two feet.

    How do I find the motivation to cam when I have none? I do it by telling myself I'll just get on for an hour but I can always log off if it's too much. Before you know it, you'll be working three, four, five hours without realizing you've been on that long. The feeling of not wanting to work will always be there but turning your cam on is a decision. It's mind over matter, you can do it!
    Last edited by Marina Starr; 01-11-2016 at 03:41 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Carmen~ View Post
    I can see you being 90 and flipping your long hair, still teasing the boys.



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    Default Re: Depression and finding motivation. Please help!

    Coming from someone who battles w depression and anxiety, you have to really tune in to yourself and how you're feeling, especially when starting new meds. I felt like shit when I went on new meds last year and I cut myself some slack. I worked but understood what my brain and body were going through and let myself take time off when I needed it. I like the idea of just committing to an hour per day and see how it goes. Don't beat yourself up, it takes time to adjust to new meds and although you want to get back on track, there's no race involved. Just take good care of yourself, you are worth it!

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    Default Re: Depression and finding motivation. Please help!

    I agree with Marina, I basically just lie to myself. I say okay, you can do this for one hour. Just one hour, you can manage that. Then by the time I get to the end of the hour I've built up some momentum, so it's easier to just say--okay, one more private. One more song. Five more minutes. Etc, etc.

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    Default Re: Depression and finding motivation. Please help!

    Along the same lines as others have said, take a look at this thread about returning to camming with manageable goals: https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sh...-Cam-Challenge!
    Quote Originally Posted by temptingmodel
    "dont worry, its slow for other models today"
    I'm not other models, its not slow.

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    Default Re: Depression and finding motivation. Please help!

    Can you maybe talk to your doctor about trying Wellbutrin? It's an atypical anti-depressant that works just as well as SSRIs but typically doesn't cause weight gain. In fact, weight loss is an extremely common side effect and some doctors prescribe it for this purpose. I use it as an off-label treatment for my ADD (it's fairly commonly used for that, too) and I lost almost 15 in the first couple of months without ever intending to. It also doesn't have negative sexual side effects and several studies have found that it can actually boost women's libido and sexual responsiveness, which could even help with camming motivation! :-D Obviously, take the meds that work best for you, but it could be worth talking about with your psychiatrist. I'm sorry you've been going through such hard times and I hope for good things ahead.

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    Default Re: Depression and finding motivation. Please help!

    Loss of motivation is insanely hard to overcome. I had an extremely hard time last year and I'm just starting to feel like I'm getting myself back to my normal-ish self. I started making small financial goals for myself (Like putting 3 months rent in savings) and try to put a time limit on it (say 5 weeks). I like marina's idea regarding getting online for an hour & going from there.

    Quote Originally Posted by MoxieGirl View Post
    Can you maybe talk to your doctor about trying Wellbutrin?
    I know it works for some people, but I gained weight, ended up with serious anxiety, & completely lost my sex drive (which made me more depressed) on Wellbutrin. The withdrawals suck as well (brain zaps for weeks).

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    Default Re: Depression and finding motivation. Please help!

    Quote Originally Posted by caramelcraze View Post

    I know it works for some people, but I gained weight, ended up with serious anxiety, & completely lost my sex drive (which made me more depressed) on Wellbutrin. The withdrawals suck as well (brain zaps for weeks).
    I'm sorry that happened to you. Everyone responds to things differently, and those negative effects you had are definitely rare and atypical. It's frequently used to help with libido and weight, although you're not supposed to take it if you're prone to anxiety. So if OP also has anxiety, it may not be the way to go because Wellbutrin is stimulating (which is why it's also good for ADD: it increases energy and motivation.) But yeah, I know getting off it comes with headaches and "brain zaps" for quite a few people. I really like Wellbutrin and it helps me, my sister, and my boyfriend with our respective issues really well, but we all have our own unique brain chemistry and there's no way to know ahead of time if you'll be one of the unlucky ones. SSRIs are not my friend; I took them a long time ago and they made me chubby and lazy and numb. It's good to know we have lots of options though and this may be a good one for the OP to check into. "Better living through chemistry" and all that. :-P

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    Default Re: Depression and finding motivation. Please help!

    There is also Cannabidiol oil, also known as CBD oil. It is basically hemp oil without any THC so you don't get high. It apparently can work as well as pharmaceuticals for various brain chemistry related syndromes like anxiety, panic and depression.
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    Default Re: Depression and finding motivation. Please help!

    I deal with a similar issue. I have PCOS and it affects every single part of my life. I can't get pregnant, my moods are insane, I can't motivate myself, I have no idea when I wake up if I'll be able to make myself do what needs to be done. On top of that I am over weight. 60lbs in 6months. And my body has stopped burning calories from fat so I literally can not lose the weight. So just know your not struggling alone. As far as motivation goes, CBD oil is something I'd like to try. But I haven't found the right combination. Some days are better than others so I just try to be as productive and positive on the good days as I can so I don't feel so useless on bad days. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful. Feel free to reach out when a bad day hits


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    Default Re: Depression and finding motivation. Please help!

    Quote Originally Posted by LucyL90 View Post
    I used to have over $30,000 in savings. Now I have less than $1,000.
    That right there. Me too.
    Now that I'm running out of money, I know that despite that I've been working towards a non-cam career goal, I will have to do something to make money in the immediate future. I don't want to cam again; I keep hoping some marvelous alternative will present itself. One thing I can say from a purely pragmatic place is that camming is easier for me than a poor-paying regular job. It will take little enough time that I'll still have the energy (I hope) to focus on my goals. So that's my motivation; I know it will pay the bills until I can pay them the way I want to. I also am motivated by knowing that the longer I wait between work periods, the more stressed it makes me...

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