Ok. I lost my shit on cam today. I had a smile on my face all fucking day despite the guys not chipping in for GS's, not talking, not going private, etc.
The rage finally came over me and I lost it. Why do I feel the need to try and make these guys understand what it's like for us? Why do I try and reason with them?
I feel guilty now. I feel like I was out of control and I feel foolish. I actually went ballistic on an asshole who taunted me. I gave in to what he wanted and I'm nauseated over it.
I went on today telling myself over and over to keep smiling. Like I said, I kept my composure for the duration of the day, then after 4 GS countdowns back-to-back, I just lost it. It's hard to keep smiling. It's just so......fucking.......hard. I should have just logged off, but I'm so work-driven.
You girls get this way?
I'm beating myself up so hard for being so vulnerable on cam.![]()



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. I just ban them and act like it didn't happen. Channel that inner anger and fucking eviscerate someone in a paid chat and I guarantee you will feel better.





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