View Poll Results: Are you happy endings cheating?

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  • Yes

    37 72.55%
  • No

    5 9.80%
  • yes, if he sought it out beforehand

    1 1.96%
  • Depends

    8 15.69%
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Thread: Happy Endings: cheating?

  1. #1
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    Default Happy Endings: cheating?

    First off, I have worked with some of your ladies in the past. I appreciate that we use this as a safe space and not talk about this in the club if we ever work together.

    I know there are a few ladies on here who do extras, which I fully believe is your choice and I am NOT judgmental about this unless it directly affects my money dancing. That being said, I have never done extras or anything similar. For instance, I have never let men touch my boobs for extra cash, let alone my vagina. Nor have I ever touched a guys penis for money. However, I need some perspective on a life situation. Ladies who do do extras I encourage you to respond. I just learned that my boyfriend, who I have had a great relationship with went to an asian massage place earlier today and got a happy ending. I know this, because he sought it out on his computer and when I opened his laptop he had it up.

    When I confronted him he admitted he did get a happy ending, and did not view it as cheating. I truly feel like my trust has been violated and he really really hurt me to the point I am not sure that I can forgive him. I broke things off and am feeling extremely down. I also feel like I am being very intense about something that is so common. On top of it, he has been accepting of me being a dancer.

    Am I overreacting? Thoughts?

  2. #2
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    Guys and technology. Gets them caught every time.

    Sorry to hear. Why does he not consider it cheating?

    Maybe because he doesn't have an emotional connection and the orgasm is just a physical release? Well it is cheating if he sought out another woman for sexual pleasure and you were not aware. If you both agreed to a monogamous relationship, then he cheated. If you have an open relationship then no its not cheating but only if you were aware of the happy ending before said happy ending took place.

    Sadly society says its okay for men to step out, that its unrealistic to expect men to be faithful and that many of them are not hardwired biologically for monogamy.

    Id just figure out by asking what he really wants and what you want too. Does he want to Be monogamous or open with strings attached or single. Same for you.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    I'd consider it cheating if you have agreed to be exclusive ...

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    Yes it's cheating unless you guys agreed that getting orgasms outside the relationship was acceptable..would he be ok with another guy manually getting you off? Him accepting you being a dancer means nothing in that situation because you go there only to make money, not have guys get you off or touch you. You are fully entitled to your feelings, I'd be furious too

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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    I think society has conditioned me to believe that stepping out like this is normal, that I'm not even that mad he did it. I'm more mad that he didn't ask for my permission beforehand. It just shows that he doesn't feel the need to include me in major relationship decisions.

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    Guys don't ask or mention beforehand because they assume most women would not be okay with their man seeing another woman for sexual pleasure (and rightfully so). There are many risks in open relationships like falling in love with the other person, wanting to go raw / std and pregnancy risk, jealousy, etc. But open relationships require maturity and communication (or people get hurt) - and it doesn't sound like he's that good at right now.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Featured Member ava$'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    Yes its cheating!! U can still get an std or he could get someone pregnant, condoms aren't 100 percent effective.

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    God/dess laurielegs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    ..would he be ok with another guy manually getting you off?
    I would be willing to bet he would not be ok with that!

    Quote Originally Posted by ava$ View Post
    Yes its cheating!! U can still get an std or he could get someone pregnant, condoms aren't 100 percent effective.
    but I thought a happy ending at a massage parlor was usually only a hand job. Am I wrong?

    Even then though I consider it cheating and he should have discussed it and should have asked how you would feel about it first.

    I don't think I'd be okay with it myself.


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  14. #9
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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    You can do a hand job with a condom (lubed on the inside) but I doubt he used a condom. Most people don't use condoms from handjobs.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    Of course it's cheating and I'm not sure what you being a dancer has to do with that?

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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by laurielegs View Post
    I would be willing to bet he would not be ok with that!



    but I thought a happy ending at a massage parlor was usually only a hand job. Am I wrong?

    Even then though I consider it cheating and he should have discussed it and should have asked how you would feel about it first.

    I don't think I'd be okay with it myself.
    Im not sure, Im gonna guess a happy ending could mean that or anything else depending on what he paid. If the girls willing to do a hj I'm sure most would also be willing to go all the way if the price is right. Either way not cool.

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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    It is absolutely cheating. Just because you are a dancer doesn't give him free reign to do whatever he wants. If he uses that as an excuse then I would say that means he really doesn't like what you do and probably just assumes you do extras. If he didn't specifically bring that up, that's probably how he justifies it in his head. If he believed that this was ok without asking you first, I would even go so far as to say this isn't his first time, and he has probably been doing skeevy stuff behind your back. He just got caught this time





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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    I don't know how this relates to dancing but yes it's cheating! He's an asshole and he cannot be trusted. The only way it wouldn't be cheating is if you had some kind of open relationship type situation and you agreed it would be okay. Going behind your back and getting a tug or blow job from another woman whether it's from an extras girl or massage girl, or escort, or some chick off the street is cheating.

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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    yes, of course its cheating...unless you have an arrangement where its OK to get orgasms from other people. You did the right thing, guys who cheat don't just do it once. And the fact that he is clueless enough(or thinks you are dumb enough) to think it is not cheating tells me that if you didn't break it off now, you would be facing the same situation very soon.

    And his behavior is not common.....its just common among assholes and /or guys that are too immature to be in a monogamous relationship. You don't want to be with either.

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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by ava$ View Post
    Yes its cheating!! U can still get an std or he could get someone pregnant, condoms aren't 100 percent effective.
    It's pretty hard to get pregnant from a hand job, but a determined woman may be able to find a way to make it work.

    Generally, engaging in sexual activity with another person is considered cheating. Your boyfriend may feel justified because of your job. My S.O. doesn't care about hj/bj but has issues with a man penetrating me for money. I don't really care if he fools around with other women, but I have issues with him spending too much money on sex workers (over $200 per visit).

    I think in the modern world of webcam chat and sex being so available, it is hard to decided what it means to be monogamous anymore. This is something that every couple needs to define for themselves. If you two haven't had a conversation about where the lines are drawn, perhaps now is the time to do so.

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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    98% with "happy ending" it was a hand job
    And he figured cause he won't ever see the massager again, wouldn't know her from Adam, couldn't pick her out of a line up if his life depended on it, doesn't know her name or even remember her fake name, that it didn't really happen.
    Not judging or justifying, that's just the way it is, most likely.
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  29. #17
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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tourdefranzia View Post
    My S.O. doesn't care about hj/bj but has issues with a man penetrating me for money.
    Do you mean he doesn't like vaginal penetration? I'd would think bj and hj counts as penetration cause the dude is penetrating your mouth and hand.

    But yeah OP sorry to hear your man betrayed you like that. Hope you're able to find some resolution.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Featured Member Tourdefranzia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    Do you mean he doesn't like vaginal penetration? I'd would think bj and hj counts as penetration cause the dude is penetrating your mouth and hand.
    Yes, vaginal or anal penetration. Paid CBJ and HJ are ok for our relationship purposes. I've never heard of a hand job referred to as "hand penetration" before. It has me visualizing holes through a person's hand, like stigmata. Hahaha!

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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    I honestly wouldn't care. Sexual cheating really doesn't bother me if the person uses protection.
    Dress to kill the wallet.

  33. #20
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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by glitteredgarter View Post
    I think society has conditioned me to believe that stepping out like this is normal, that I'm not even that mad he did it. I'm more mad that he didn't ask for my permission beforehand. It just shows that he doesn't feel the need to include me in major relationship decisions.
    I'm glad to see this. My wife and I preach open honesty. It doesn't mean all conservations are easy or that all topics are easy to discuss. I do think honestly like that takes courage and maturity. Also, not everyone can keep emotions in check when certain topics come up. Not everyone is built to be able to have rational discussions about topics like outside sexual urges with a SO.

    There's also the scenario to consider, do you think he might bring up a topic that is emotionally too hurtful for you to even believe he would considering thinking/saying it? I think a lot of men fear this. This is one reason I see for some of the deception.

    I think maybe we are taught that these are urges we shouldn't have or urges that we shouldn't even discuss. There seems to be a certain level of shame society places around carnal desires that (1.) take energy and money away from committed relationships (e.g., could be husband and wife) or (2.) take money and energy away from the church (historically, I feel this is relevant, even though it is not relevant for me). Here we get all of the traditional sins heaped on us by the church (prostitution, gambling, sports, etc.). Tour sort of brings this up in my mind with the $200 reference. That's a not so insignificant chunk of change to drop on sex worker services.

    But, if it urges don't get in the way, is it really a problem?
    Take this article, for example:

    http://www.dailydot.com/opinion/ashl...y-women-cheat/

    "That’s bullshit, Charles. No one throws a drink on someone for nothing. What did you do? Just tell me. What did you do?"

    For much of the afternoon, she fought with me. ... and in light of my recent actions—even though they were "allowed" actions based on what we had discussed—I felt I had nothing to stand on. I tried to explain that I didn't do anything, but she wasn’t buying it.

    After three hours of not speaking to me, it became clear what was really bothering her when she told me emphatically: "You know, Charles, it's amazing. I don't care about your 'date.' And for all I care, you could have slept with her. But tell me this: When was the last time you took time out of your day and took me to lunch for no reason?"
    http://www.dailydot.com/opinion/ashl...y-women-cheat/

    Her statement to me was an eye-opener, and in polling 250+ women in the days that followed, I reached an important understanding. When an adulterous man is found out, there are many, many women that can get past the sex act itself.

    But the real problem is where his effort has been going. As his wife sits idle, being supportive, holding down her half of the relationship, house and kids, a cheating man will put boat loads of effort into seducing the other woman: four-star restaurants and hotels, gifts, laughter, spontaneity, passion, sex.

    From there, it's a sad realization for his wife that translates to "I'm not worth the effort." This is a fatal blow to her self-esteem and self-worth and terminal to the relationship.
    That, in a nut shell, is the real problem, if any, assuming there is a problem, that my wife has with me over anything (including SCs and dancers). When I stop putting in the effort with 'us', then she takes exception with whatever I am engaged in, whatever it is. And really, I don't blame her.

    PS: I did vote 'yes' in the poll.

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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    From a guy's perspective, I think it all depends on the parameters of your relationship. If this was something you had never discussed and never gave him approval to do, then he should not have done it. At the very least it was unwise and disrespectful. I don't know if I would call it "cheating" per se, since this seems like a one-time thing and he obviously has no emotional connection to the masseuse - it was basically a lazy form of masturbation. But he still went behind your back and you have every right to be pissed off. I don't blame you at all for breaking up with him - like others have said, if he did it once he will probably do it again...

  36. #22
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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    I wish people would stop referring to specific acts as "cheating," and instead sit the fuck down with their partner and decide what is and is not ok in their relationship, and more specifically, when those things are ok.

    Therefore, the only legitimate answer to this poll is "depends." There's no universal definition for cheating. If you don't feel comfortable telling your partner about something, whether it's sleeping with another person or smoking a cigarette, it's cheating. You're cheating on their feelings. You're cheating on their trust. Cheating is dishonesty; there's nothing inherently sexual about it.

    People cheat because they're unhappy/unfulfilled in their relationship.
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  38. #23
    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by luvnrockets View Post

    People cheat because they're unhappy/unfulfilled in their relationship.
    Eh, yes and no. There are plenty of ppl who cheat for the thrill of it, because they find monogamy "boring" or for other similar reasons that have nothing to do with their partners actions. their relationship may not be fulfilling to them but that's all On them.

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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    Of course he cheated and he damn well knows it. He's just spinning things now that he's been caught.

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    Default Re: Happy Endings: cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    Eh, yes and no. There are plenty of ppl who cheat for the thrill of it, because they find monogamy "boring" or for other similar reasons that have nothing to do with their partners actions. their relationship may not be fulfilling to them but that's all On them.
    All of those things fall under "not being fulfilled in your relationship." Monogamy is boring? A monogamous relationship doesn't fulfill your needs. It's not just your partner's job to fulfill your needs; you're responsible for figuring out what they are and deciding if they're being met. This is couples therapy 101.

    EDIT: Maybe a better way to phrase it is "their needs aren't being met."
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