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Thread: friend kinda screwed me/ personality switch

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    Default friend kinda screwed me/ personality switch

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    Last edited by somechick99; 07-19-2018 at 01:30 PM.

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    Default Re: friend kinda screwed me/ personality switch

    I think she was this way all along, maybe she hid it well for a while, maybe you didn't see it, or didn't want to..btw, congrats & I hope you feel better.
    Anyway, I'd just blow her off, it would only be more upsetting to deal w/this
    Also, that font's kinda hard to read.
    Take care.


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    Default Re: friend kinda screwed me/ personality switch

    Quote Originally Posted by whirlerz View Post
    I think she was this way all along, maybe she hid it well for a while, maybe you didn't see it, or didn't want to..btw, congrats & I hope you feel better.
    Anyway, I'd just blow her off, it would only be more upsetting to deal w/this
    Also, that font's kinda hard to read.
    Take care.
    sorry about the font lol my computer changed it somehow, it was accidental

    there we go, fixed

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    Default Re: friend kinda screwed me/ personality switch

    She's probably jealous/insecure of you. I have a friend like this. She deliberately doesn't make a big deal out of my birthday (even went out of town and shut off her phone all day one year, despite that not being necessary for what she was doing), never asks about my vacations and if I try to talk about them, she acts disinterested and tries to turn away/change the subject when she can, and really never asks about my life/accomplishments in general. One time I talked about how I'd like to get a nose job, and she suddenly went into super bitchy, judgmental mode about it and called me all sorts of names.

    Over a year later, I brought it up, and she admitted that she had said those things because she thinks I'm already so pretty and is so jealous of me that it made her angry to hear me talk about how I thought I needed to improve myself.

    I wager that something similar is going on with your friend. There are people who, when they're feeling down and insecure about their own lives, they can't handle anything good/exciting happening to their friends, especially if they're already jealous of that friend. So they ignore exciting things, "forget" about them, downplay them... I bet if you put a few drinks in her, got her into "I wuv you sooo much mode" and asked her about it, she'd admit that she's just jealous and there's shit going on in her own life that makes it hard to be happy for you.
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    Default Re: friend kinda screwed me/ personality switch

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    She's probably jealous/insecure of you. I have a friend like this. She deliberately doesn't make a big deal out of my birthday (even went out of town and shut off her phone all day one year, despite that not being necessary for what she was doing), never asks about my vacations and if I try to talk about them, she acts disinterested and tries to turn away/change the subject when she can, and really never asks about my life/accomplishments in general. One time I talked about how I'd like to get a nose job, and she suddenly went into super bitchy, judgmental mode about it and called me all sorts of names.

    Over a year later, I brought it up, and she admitted that she had said those things because she thinks I'm already so pretty and is so jealous of me that it made her angry to hear me talk about how I thought I needed to improve myself.

    I wager that something similar is going on with your friend. There are people who, when they're feeling down and insecure about their own lives, they can't handle anything good/exciting happening to their friends, especially if they're already jealous of that friend. So they ignore exciting things, "forget" about them, downplay them... I bet if you put a few drinks in her, got her into "I wuv you sooo much mode" and asked her about it, she'd admit that she's just jealous and there's shit going on in her own life that makes it hard to be happy for you.
    It hadn't really occurred to me it might be jealousy because she seems really confident but come to think of it her confidence is more in a conceited way than anything else. I know she eventually wants the surgery herself so it could very well be so

    Thanks for sharing

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    Default Re: friend kinda screwed me/ personality switch

    Girl, you need to let some new people into your life. I am not judging you in any way. Believe me when I was a little younger I attracted all kinds of shitty people to me. But you know, when you hang out with bad people - bad shit happens to you. You seem like a sweet and sensitive person; you should really try to find some people to surround yourself with that will lift you up and support you- not drag you into their drama or use you! This is the third or fourth post of yours that I remember about some shit head of a person in your life. You don't need it!
    Last edited by Gia2608; 01-18-2016 at 11:29 PM. Reason: English is a bastard
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    Default Re: friend kinda screwed me/ personality switch

    Ditch her. Call her up and see what she has to say for herself or give her the cold shoulder. Not a real friend. Sorry boo.
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    Default Re: friend kinda screwed me/ personality switch

    Some people are naturally very self-absorbed, they aren't even trying to be mean or passive aggressive or anything that's just what they're actually like and they don't see it as mean or rude. I call it a 'princess personality.' I would ditch her too.

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    Default Re: friend kinda screwed me/ personality switch

    Quote Originally Posted by Gia2608 View Post
    Girl, you need to let some new people into your life. I am not judging you in any way. Believe me when I was a little younger I attracted all kinds of shitty people to me. But you know, when you hang out with bad people - bad shit happens to you. You seem like a sweet and sensitive person; you should really try to find some people to surround yourself with that will lift you up and support you- not drag you into their drama or use you! This is the third or fourth post of yours that I remember about some shit head of a person in your life. You don't need it!
    Thank you, I needed to hear that and I appreciate you telling me in a non-judgmental way. Unfortunately this is difficult to do while recovering from surgery lol but soon enough I'll back into the world and good to go

    On a side note, she ended up texting me about a week after leaving me at the airport as if nothing ever happened. She said "I'm ganna come see you soon" (misspelled and all lmao). I replied a couple days later basically saying I wasn't sure how to reply to that, I was surprised and hurt she left me at the airport then didn't bother checking in with me at all. She did apologize and said she needs to make it up to me...I'll make sure we leave things on a good note but lesson learned, she's not a reliable friend

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    Default Re: friend kinda screwed me/ personality switch

    The ladies on SW are an exception to the sex worker norm. Many I've met outside the site have drug and legal issues, unstable living situations, little to no money a day after they bank. She could be jealous that you're improving your appearance, that you can pay for plastic surgery, that you can take time off work to recover. I had a lot of girls dislike me because I was in school/finished school while stripping. To the point of coming up to customers while I was sitting with them and telling them I was only there to pay for school. Well, they were only there to pay for drugs. Oh, that reminds me-she might be jealous you're getting pain meds legally. Anyways, right now just focus on your recovery. Talk to her after. Pain medication can make you feel your emotions more intensely, you don't deserve the indignity of her seeing you cry. Word it in a way that compliments her good behavior before her doing this to aknowledge how out of the norm this is and find out why.
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    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: friend kinda screwed me/ personality switch

    Quote Originally Posted by somechick99 View Post
    Thank you, I needed to hear that and I appreciate you telling me in a non-judgmental way. Unfortunately this is difficult to do while recovering from surgery lol but soon enough I'll back into the world and good to go

    On a side note, she ended up texting me about a week after leaving me at the airport as if nothing ever happened. She said "I'm ganna come see you soon" (misspelled and all lmao). I replied a couple days later basically saying I wasn't sure how to reply to that, I was surprised and hurt she left me at the airport then didn't bother checking in with me at all. She did apologize and said she needs to make it up to me...I'll make sure we leave things on a good note but lesson learned, she's not a reliable friend
    I'd tell her don't keep doing sh*t you'd have to apologize for. She's only going to keep doing the same stuff you keep her around and rely on her you'll be sadly disappointed.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: friend kinda screwed me/ personality switch

    Sorry to say she's not your friend & doesn't hold you in the same regards as you hold her .I think she's been this selfish you just hadn't really noticed until now.I def understand where you're coming from as I was in a similar situation not too long ago.It's not going to change, you know she's unreliable, only thinks of herself so just leave it at that unless you really want her friendship(especially if she hasn't reached out or apologized that speaks volumes in itself)

    I say just cut your losses early and keep it moving it'll be ok.
    Quote Originally Posted by somechick99 View Post
    I know I already started a thread in this section today, sorry lol last one for awhile I promise.

    I started getting really close to one of my friends from work these past six months or so, though we've been friends for about a year. I've been there for her when she needed me in the past, and she's always seemed really supportive and offered her help when needed in return. She even told me a couple weeks ago she felt I was the only real friend she could come to and know I'd always be there.

    Well recently, (6 days ago) I had plastic surgery (buttock augmentation). She knew months in advance I was having it and acted almost more excited for me than I myself was. I flew out of town for the procedure, so far everything has gone well with it.

    We talk on the phone a lot and the days leading up to my procedure she would call me and talk about...well, mainly just herself. How work was for her, gossiping about random ppl, etc. She's always been a little selfish but this irritated and surprised me. Then at the end of our conversations she would briefly ask about my surgery and if I was excited/nervous, then hang up.

    Well the day of my surgery (I had told her repeatedly what the date was, no one else forgot) she calls me that night and I happened to be awake. She instantly starts rambling about herself and work again, not even mentioning my surgery. I asked her "uh...aren't you going to ask how my surgery went" and she said "OH MY GOD it was today??" Uh wtf? I told this bitch millions of times, including the day before, what day it was. She's never acted this way in the past so I was really taken aback.

    The final straw was her telling me she'd pick me up from the airport after I landed and never showing up. She warned me in advance she was working late the night before and might sleep past her alarm, but said if so she was sorry in advance and would come over with pizza later to check on me. This bitch never shows up or answers my calls, and never even apologizes for not waking up in time or even checks on me to see how I'm doing. This was a major surgery for me and STILL, over a day after getting home she has not said shit to me. Meanwhile she's been posting on facebook about herself so I know it's not like anything happened to her.

    I have no idea why she's suddenly acting so selfish and dismissive, never before this past week or two had she been this way towards me. I'm heartbroken and disappointed as I could really use her support right now, this recovery is lonely and difficult. I'll be fine, I have other friends who are there for me, but I'm pretty pissed off.

    Should I say something to her or wait until she contacts me again? Do you think this sounds intentionally bitchy or more that she's too caught up in herself to grasp how rude she was? How should I approach this?

    Thanks in advance

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