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Thread: Dominant or just a jackass?

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    Curious Guest ChubbyKajira's Avatar
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    Tired Dominant or just a jackass?

    I just started camming last week, because I've really missed stripping. So far it has been amazing and I've had tons of fun, on top of making a nice chunk of money. I was a little concerned that I wouldn't be receive well, until I read about Streamate (on here) and saw that they had a bbw categories. I started out on chaturbate, and got bored quickly so I came to SM. I was a totally new experience. The first night was so overwhelming, I was getting so many private sessions I gave up on getting dressed between shows. Tonight was my third night on SM, and after making a my goal, I decided I would just talk with customers for a bit before I leave. ENTER: Super Dom Dude. He asks me if I'm okay with sub/Dom roleplay, and I say of course. I figured I'd take one more show before I left. He demanded that I get undressed in free chat, and I tried to explain I can't be take my underwear off in chat, and he told me there if I did there would be "rewards" once we entered pvt. So I took them off, but kept my lower half out of sight, and then he told me to put my panties in my mouth. I got excited, thinking "finally, a real dom" and shoved the thong in my mouth. Then we got into pvt and the mood shifted. He told me to "stop fucking smiling you fat slut, and call me daddy". I also was not allowed to take the past ties out of my mouth. No biggy. I was having fun. Then he gave me a few things to do, nothing awful, but then he told me to improvise. So I got on my hands and knees and called him daddy, and said please don't hurt me, and all that other humiliation stuff he suggested. "Don't fuck around or I'll give you a one start rating". That's where. I started to wonder whether he was really into roleplay or just an asshole. Mentioning my rating is kind of out of character and it seemed more like a threat than part of the rp. Suddenly he typed "waste of time" and left. I was legitimately upset, as well as pissed. Something about the ordeal did not feel right, and the thought of my 5 star rating taking a hit really scared me.

    So that long drawn out story is my question. Is that typical dom behavior when camming? Or was this dude just being mean? And how can I tell the difference in the future? I've don't a lot of submissive roleplaying, not just on the internet, but in real life, and I've done humiliation before, but I feel like this wasn't genuine. Whatever the case, I've enjoyed camming and don't intend to stop anytime soon.

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    Senior Member KittieVenom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominant or just a jackass?

    Honestly this guy just sounds like a straight up asshole. You're right, mentioning the rating was way out of character. The whole point of role playing is to be in a ROLE. If he does leave you the bad rating, I would just contact streamate and explain the situation because you did nothing wrong.

    Also I think there are a few things you can do for next time to avoid this type of situation. Do not do ANYTHING in free until the guy tips however much you want to charge for that. That includes taking off ANY clothing, even if they can't see. I would refrain from taking off my bottoms in free anyway. That's what they pay for. I usually have a guy tip 5 Gold for an ass or tit flash in free. If you let them know you're boss, despite whatever fantasy they're looking for, it'll help scare away the assholes faster. Also, before you go private, discuss the show you'll be doing. You are not in character until you are in private. I know sometimes they click the button before you can discuss it, but try to get some sort of rules down beforehand. Even with this kind of role play, there are still rules. You can't just start calling someone names without getting is cleared first. I would have stopped the show and said "No, don't do___" even if you're scared it will kill the mood. A real dom will respect this. The fact that this dude did none of that really drives the point that he was just a douche and was using the whole "dom" thing as a front to excuse his cruelty.

    Also, trust your gut. You said it so yourself. Whenever something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. And no, this isn't typical dom behavior. This is straight up fuck head behavior. I'm sorry that happened to you, it's terrible. I hope your shows in the future go much better.

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    God/dess laurielegs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominant or just a jackass?

    Honestly I find most online male "doms" to be another word for asshole. I never offer sub shows any more. Plenty of other men to perform for.



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    Default Re: Dominant or just a jackass?

    I say asshat! I get guys like this all the time and I never undress for them in Guest Chat! They dont get to dominate me until they are paying for it! The problem is probably that he was running out of credits and he wasnt gonna get off so he started threatening you!

    There really is no clear cut definition of Dom and Sub role play but in the future as soon as something feels weird or bad then just stop. You can contact SM support and have them remove a bad rating so dont let a guy threaten you ever! If its not feeling good to you just say so to the guy. If he leaves who cares if he stays to fight with you about it just be sweet and nice but firmly say no while you rinse his wallet!

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    Veteran Member TrifilinCamHo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominant or just a jackass?

    Ugh this dude sounds like SUCH an asshole, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. Working on Streamate primarily I would say that dudes this horrible are definitely around, but you will be able to filter them out easily in time. When I first started I had some dickhead demand that I fist my ass (NOT HAPPENING EVER) who then disconnected immediately after I politely refused and left a one-star rating of course. It was so upsetting! Fuck all that.

    The good news is that as a model, Streamate will have your back in situations like this. Don't ever let a customer coerce or threaten you! If someone rates you poorly for some bullshit reason you can email support and ask them to remove it with a brief explanation of what went down and they will most likely remove it for you.

    EDIT: Also just so you know, bad ratings only really fuck up your average if you're getting them consistently, so if most of your ratings are 5 stars you will be fine.
    Last edited by TrifilinCamHo; 01-19-2016 at 02:53 AM.

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    Curious Guest ChubbyKajira's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominant or just a jackass?

    I did take pictures of the conversation, in case I decided it was something I needed to take to SM support. And in the future I'll be blocking him if he comes around again. I'll also take more precautions when it comes to interactions in free chat. I did kind of walk right into that one.

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    Curious Guest ChubbyKajira's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominant or just a jackass?

    I ended up contacting support. He did indeed give me a 1 star rating, and it brought my overall rating down. I'm still quite new, so even though all of my ratings otherwise are five stars, I didn't have enough for that one rating to not make a difference. After thinking about the situation a little more, I know he wasn't a dom. A true dom would have set aside some time to discuss rules before entering a roleplay and made sure I was comfortable with everything. Thank you to all of you ladies for helping me realize this.

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    Featured Member CanadianRuby's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominant or just a jackass?

    Yeah don't bother with any of that dom/sub bullshit unless you're REALLY , genuinely interested in being treated like crap at your job. I learned a long time ago that the vast majority of the men claiming to be "doms" on cam sites are either freeloaders, sociopaths, or a combination of both. They have no idea what being a dom actually entails and think just calling a woman degrading names is being dominant. That is the same bullshit as cam girls assuming all male sub customers are the same and that they will just automatically become submissive when a cam girl says "fuck you loser, pay me".

    Often times men that claim to be doms on cam sites or content selling sites always start off with the SAME behaviour: "Send me naked pictures of you, now. Get on cam naked, now. You're not really submissive unless you do what I say".

    It's seriously not worth the aggravation being called a bunch of names by some pathetic asshole loser. I have NEVER met a self proclaimed male dom that has not made my skin crawl.

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    God/dess audritwo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominant or just a jackass?

    Any stars that are 3 or lower can get removed if justified. Also send a message to support requesting to ban him from your room so you don't have to.


    Fuck this dude. Be glad you took that pigs money.





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    Default Re: Dominant or just a jackass?

    Totally agree with all the other ladies saying he's just an asshole. Support will remove the rating for you if you ask nicely and they can also ban people for you.

    From the sounds of it, it's time to raise your rates (if you're so busy you don't have time to put your clothes back on, bump those rates up!) Higher rates = better quality customers. Asking for tips for requests is another good way to weed out the freeloaders and assholes. He should have been tipping you for everything you did in free chat.

    Being submissive on cam can be very, very hard. I started off as a sub and ended up switching to domme and vanilla only very, very quickly. Most of the "dominant" guys are just assholes. Doing submissive shows seems easier at first since you just have to do what the customer says, but it can take a big toll on your mental health. If you can learn how to vet the guys to find good customers, you'll be fine. But that takes a lot of skill. Hustling as a sub requires a LOT of mind games.

    If you really enjoy it, more power to you! But I personally recommend avoiding those guys as much as possible.


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    Featured Member BambiCutie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominant or just a jackass?

    He sounds like a giant asshole, reading through this its not hard to miss.. I wouldn't count on him staying in pvt for more than 30 sec, so its best just to boot. Next time someone holds a low rating over your head take a snapshot and send it to Streamate support..its technically blackmail. (Ratings are based on their experience, not to hold over your head.)

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    Featured Member luvnrockets's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominant or just a jackass?

    How to spot the good doms:

    1. They treat you with respect unless they are paying you, and even then, they generally treat you with respect.

    2. They have good grammar, know how to articulate their desires, and other clear indications that they have had some IRL experience.

    3. They have manners and like to make sure you're in the right headspace after the show. Imo, they frequently go overboard (I don't need aftercare for non-IRL play, but it's sweet to offer).

    4. They don't ONLY call you degrading names.

    If you like being submissive, when you find these guys, treat them like kings and they will love you long time. Doms like long shows where you're not constantly fucking yourself. If it genuinely turns you on, it's glorious.

    So yeah, fuck this shitface.
    "Do you do tech support in exclusive?"

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    Featured Member Chellyinparadise's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominant or just a jackass?

    He sounds like a complete asshole, sorry you went through that. He went to insulting straight away, set your boundaries with them and tell them if you feel uncomfortable with anything if they still insist or make threats ask them to leave or ban. Not worth the money with guys like this.

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    Featured Member MistressX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominant or just a jackass?

    From your post I can tell you he's not a real dom, just an asshole who likes to humiliate and abuse women. There is a fine line. This is why I dont like to do any subbing unless its someone I trust. A real Dom would have eased you into it and not done any real threatening as in the one star rating. Just another abusive wannabe..





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    God/dess Marina Starr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominant or just a jackass?

    Straight up asshole! The "stop fucking smiling you fat slut, and call me daddy" would have been way too much for me and I'd end the show right there.



    Never allow anyone to order you around in free chat unless they send lots of gold. All requests are for private or exclusive.
    Message support and tell them what asshole he was. They will for sure remove it. 1 star ratings do hurt.
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    I can see you being 90 and flipping your long hair, still teasing the boys.



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    Default Re: Dominant or just a jackass?

    Yeah, that guy was just a DOUCHE. I'm glad you're not letting that asshole get you down, and that you enjoy camming.
    My referral link for models to join the Boleyn Models daily pay program
    https://cammodelpay.com/ref?page=&campaign=&affToken=NDcx

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    Default Re: Dominant or just a jackass?

    I agree completely with luvnrockets' post above.

    Being a genuinely kinky submissive masochist, I do a fair amount of sub/slave/bdsm shows, and I've never encountered someone who made threats to my ratings like that. However, I can usually figure out who the douchebag-doms are by the way they treat me in free chat, so I'm fairly selective with who I'll accept a show from. A real dom knows how to communicate to their sub. I think it's imperative to discuss boundaries and expectations beforehand. Also, even if I do a really humiliating or painful show, almost all of my online dom sessions end with them saying positive, respectful things. Even though it's virtual, there should still be some "aftercare", so to speak.

    I would never do anything for them in free chat, except for perhaps a few exceptions for regulars that I already have a rapport with. I wouldn't go so far as to take my panties off (on or off screen), but I've done milder things in free chat, like when a regular dom says "Put your collar on so I know you're ready, and then I'll buy a block session." I generally oblige because I trust that they'll buy the show, and they always do. But I only do that for a few specific regs, never a new guy.

    I would also recommend only doing kink/sub shows in exclusive.

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    Veteran Member Prussia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominant or just a jackass?

    Just because someone is a Dom does not mean they should have no respect for their subs or lack manners. That includes outlining boundaries and limits. Doms are suppose to have underlaying respect for their subs as subs are the ones giving permission to have things done to them. Dom doesn't mean a free for all to act like an asshole with no regard to things harming a sub, lack of limits, safe words etc. And sub does not equal human doormat. I'm glad a red flag went up in your mind and you took screen caps. Whenever someone asks if you are into D/s play, always establish limits and rules before playing (ex no verbal humiliation, no marks etc) before hand. Remember safety & your comfort level come first. Also, a rule we had in a dungeon I worked at: hurt not harm. Also, with fetish have play, always think that the show might end up on tube site so be careful of what you are doing in the show... And just a small heads up, don't use daddy talk or roleplay on SM it can get you suspended.

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    God/dess Sam38g's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominant or just a jackass?

    What you enjoy in private life, sometimes needs to remain there. Plus you need to keep something for YOU, to remain sane and have boundaries.

    How he treated you in free chat and in private sets an example for other men to do the same. Don't care if he is a Dom or not, he is a rude asshole. Rude can NOT be tolerated on cam, you will get plenty of it, so feeding into it hoping for a real Dom & a thrill may not be wise.

    If you didn't block him, his next goal would be to get you to do as much as possible in free chat next time. All of which can risk you getting suspended for breaking SM public chat rules or fired. When you think of it that way, you are NOT losing out on money by blocking such people. It could cost you the job at SM, then what?

    NO customer has the right to ask me to do anything against SM TOS and cost me my job. That TOS is there for a reason, it is your out, your safety net. Read it & memorize it.

    Good Luck,
    Sam

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